3 yrs ttc and no baby(

You shouldn't beat yourself up about things in the past. You made what was the right decision for you at that time. It doesn't really matter what other people think. This is not a punishment for that. Just keep trying to think positive that it WILL happen someday. You just don't know when. I know it's hard to watch when people "accidentally" turn up pregnant. And every 2WW seems like an eternity!!! Keep having hope, prayer, and optimism. I really believe we'll all have our day.

I know we all go through the process of figuring out what "we" did, but I think that most medical professionals and statistics would tell you that a prior abortion has nothing to do with your current situation. I know it's frustrating to see people who may not "want" a baby as much as you getting pregnant all around, and I share that pain with you. If you were doing things now that are unhealthy, which it sounds like you are not, that would be one thing. Beating yourself up about the past I know is natural, but someday there will be the child that the almighty intends you to raise and love, no matter how or when it gets to you.

I do not know the history of your fertility issues. But both you and your DH should check your fertility asap. It is an easy and relatively inexpensive test. It should be done if you want to continue ttc. You should be aware of your health condition. Maybe your RE will give you some advice or prescribe some fertility treatment. It is the first thing good doctors will do when you reach that one year mark and seek help.

Just don’t forget it is not your fault. It is nobody's "fault". You made the best decision that you could at the time. Let's face it at 15 or 20 we all do things that we could look back now and say maybe that wasn't the best idea. It is just the maturity that comes with age. So don't beat yourself up. Know that you are taking good care of yourself now and that is what is important. Good luck to you.

Thank you so much for replies! I feel much better now! Thanks for all the support. I needed it so much. No one around understands. My DH is very supportive, but… You know, only women who goes through same pain can understand. We haven't done any medical check. I know it’s wrong. We had to see Dr. 2 years ago. But we didn’t… My DH has a son from previous marriage. He doesn’t tell me straight but he thinks everything is ok with his fertility. I believe it’s obvious as he has a child. So the problem is in me. I’m the reason we can’t conceive. And it scares me to death… I’m scared to hear a verdict that I’m infertile and we won’t be able to have children. That’s why I’m constantly thinking about my abortions.

luha226083 - I am sorry about yr sis, and huge congrats to her and all her family

Oh no hun! You should not blame yourself for something you have no control over. This is wrong.
I am in the middle of a surrogacy process as well and I have been through the same. You have to understand that your husband supports you. He loves you and is there for you! I have been feeling guilty for a long time, but my hubby came over to me and confessed that he had a lot of guilt, too. And we just hugged each other and decided it is time to move on. This is why we are confident surrogacy clients.