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Keleho View Drop Down
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    Posted: 17 February 2013 at 10:41am
DD1 (2yr 10m) has always been home with me. She is socialised at playcentre/playgroups (where she is semi comfortable, but still likes me within view - she wouldnt go and play outside unless I came along for eg), is more than happy to be left with my mum for extended periods, but the less familiar she is with a situation or the people in it, the clingier she becomes (especially if there is a larger number of people). Not the worst thing in the world imo, but makes it difficult for me at times, especially with another child to look after - I take a gentle approach, allowing her to have me close while she adapts and gets used to the new environment/people.

I had thought things were getting loads better, but with kindy visits starting a few weeks back, its becoming really apparent just how clingy she still is. I know to a certain degree, she and the kindy teachers will just have to be left to it, but I want to make things as comfortable as possible for her (and for the teachers sakes) before I start to leave her there. We have 2 months until she turns 3, when I was wanting to start leaving her there, and we have been doing twice weekly visits for a few hours at a time since the start of term as the kindy recommended to me. So far, she likes to hold my hand most of the time and doesnt really interact with the other kids.

I guess Im just wondering from those that have been through similar, did you find it took long to adapt? Was there anything that you felt helped? Or was it just a matter of giving it time and/or leaving them to it?

Thanks
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AandCsmum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote AandCsmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 February 2013 at 2:30pm
Can your Mum take her along? When the Mum of the little girl I looked after took her along she wouldn't let her leave or leave her side, but when I took her along she was happy as to be left. I know that kinda doesn't suit long term but if your Mum takes her & see how she is and if she's fine to be left, may be you'll just need to drop her off, be really firm in leaving (kindy teachers will help you with this) and she should be fine within a few minutes. If she's not fine when your Mum drops her off then have a talk to the kindy teachers about the best way of helping her adapt, they will have seen it time & time again.

Also she may not be ready at 3 but she might be ready later, say 3 1/2.

Edited by AandCsmum - 17 February 2013 at 2:30pm
Kel


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Keleho View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Keleho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 February 2013 at 2:46pm
Thanks Kel. Having mum (or anyone else) drop her off isnt really an option where we are as we live too far away from our families, and have no friends locally that might be able to as well. I could suggest DH take her, but its probably a bit of a joke - we are sole charge dairy farmers so he cant easily leave the farm.

At this stage, she is on a waiting list so I cant leave her there as yet anyway, more preparing her for when we can (which from the sounds, will be within the next 2-3 months).

Ive asked the teachers if there is anything I can be doing - they gave me a fact sheet on seperation anxiety (which honestly, wasnt much help - it told me to do what Ive been doing, and told me what I should have done when she was younger to avoid it in the first place) and suggested as many visits as possible up until start day.
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