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Zaylah 
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Joined: 10 December 2009
Location: Tawa, Wellington
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 Topic: Single/Twin/Triplet Issues!
Posted: 18 January 2011 at 2:41pm |
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Do your friends realise that just because you have had twins/triplets that you don't think bad of them when they are having issues with one?
I get this all the time! They will start to tell you about something going on and then go 'oh but you must think I'm silly because you cope with 3!' and I honestly don't think that!
All parents have challenges, and the challenges of having twins or triplets are different than those of a mother with a singleton, yes - but that doesn't mean they are any easier/harder to deal with!
Sounds like I'm angry - I'm not, it's just the way it comes across on here. Just wish that when I told them that I don't think they have it 'easier' because they have 'one' that they believed me...
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linda
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Posted: 18 January 2011 at 3:29pm |
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Great to hear from you Zaylah, how is it all going?
I haven't had anything say this or think this but this could be because I have two older kids so might have some advice from the 'singletons'. Having said that I have different 'issues' with the twins which I talk about.
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Alex 6 and Harry 8
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 18 January 2011 at 4:05pm |
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that's good to know..i think most twin/triplet mums do feel that we have it easier though:) and we do i think..while the issues are the same you get things like teething times three..but you get good things too that we dont get like children who always have someone to play with so therefore arent so demanding for attention maybe?:)
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Mum to two amazing boys!
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lisa85
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 8:33am |
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I have always thought that having two at different ages must be much harder than having twins. I think having twins is more like having one & a half lol. They do everything at the same time and go through all the difficult stages together. I have always thought how amazing it is to watch other Mums juggle a new born with a full on toddler.
I think bringing up one baby would be much more demaning in a lot of ways. So I would never judge a singleton Mum for unloading their difficult day on me. I certainly hope none of my singleton friends hold back because they think I have it hard. Because I really don't! lol. I'm planning on watching a movie this afternoon that's how easy my day is ;) When it comes down to it we all have our bad days.
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Zaylah
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 9:51am |
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You're saying exactly what I mean Lisa! I don't think it's any harder - just different!
Maybe I'm coming across wrong to my friends though? because they do hold back on unloading now, and I do get a lot of comments such as 'you must think I'm silly since you can cope with three!' - and it sounds like both of you (lisa and linda) don't get that much/at all.
Not sure what to do about that. Of course I've already told them that it's just different, not harder - but they still say it - so no idea what to do now! Blah!
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High9
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 12:01pm |
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Whenever I have a tough time with Lily I always think 'Ughh imagine if there was another one!' but then rethink and tbh it would probably be worse having an older one to deal with too rather than having another one that is the same age iygwim... Although surely having twins/triplets they don't always do things at the same time which some people probably imagine they do... Teething... walking... etc.
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UpsyDaisy
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 4:16pm |
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A few in my coffee group have said after a vent etc - gosh it must be even harder with two.
The first few weeks with twins I think is pretty hard, and I think harder than just one newborn but at the stage mine are 9mths I don't think twins are any harder than having two at different stages - just different. I am certainly not a supermum because I have twins.
Micah is crawling, pulling himself up and teething, Ilysa is not. We think they have an agreement that if one sleeps through the other won't, but many toddlers don't sleep well either so no different to two singletons really.
Hope things are going well Zaylah. I'm not sure what you can do to convince your friends you don't think they have it easy. TBH I've often been pleased there isn't a third bubba here!
edit for typos
Edited by jules1980
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linda
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 6:41pm |
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Yes, we quite often say...'imagine if there were three'!!! But you work with what you have and get use to it
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Alex 6 and Harry 8
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bext1
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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 10:23pm |
I find that there are differences between one and two.
to go from a singleton, to twins to singletons, having just a singleton now is so much easier.
I guess it's because with multiples you have more to do, ie more teething, more waking in the night BUT double the trouble and double the FUN.
I love how the boys have a friend that is the same age/stage, and it's so great watching them grow up, whereas, a singleton while they get on with their brother IE Joel, he is older, and at a different stage, so he gets frustrated with them.
I guess what I am trying to say is, like Linda said above, you make do with what you got 
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Single/Twin/Triplet Issues!
