’Neophobic’ toddler, mum in tears!

True, only issue is I work some days so 6pm is the earliest we can get home from work/daycare and have dinner ready, twice a week. Also my husband doesn't get home till close to 6pm most days so it would mean going back to eating without him. Not sure what to do as obviously Lizzie's eating is the most important thing but it wouldn't work long term for us.

Thanks, I think that was meant for me?. I just think we can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, and if we didn't care so much we wouldn't be reading about and writing this stuff right

You're right millemama that was for you sorry I got lost in the thread!

Well breakthrough today - 2 tiny pieces of chicken and 4 pieces of sausage consumed! i did a very good job of pretending not to notice but was all happy inside! Have also bought and read a book which I have found very comforting - called 'my child won't eat' it's designed for parents whose children don't seem to eat anything (which is not my problem) but very informative about children's eating habits and needs. Has given me confidence to trust my son more to eat what he needs so long as offered a healthy range. A link for anyone interested -

http://www.amazon.com/My-Child-Wont-Eat-International/dp/0912500999

I know that feeling Ruthy, on the outside calm and slightly disinterested, on the indside, doing the mambo and the chacha around the room. lol

Have read the reviews on that book you recommended. I liked the attitude re doctors and nutritionists, they can easily make you feel like you are doing the wrong thing or not doing enough and that your child will suffer, its puts some balance back into the equation.

Just a quick question HuMum, but you are in charge here, not Daycare, if its not going to work - and I know that feeling when other people say, "if he's hungry he'll eat", when you know that he won't, - then pack him his own lunch, surely they can open his lunchbox for him to eat. Can't see why it would be a problem. Oh and we are not bad mums, just slightly desperate, caring souls with large patience, lol.

My son didn't like daycare lunches either (dinner type food) - he started quite little though so the first one he went to would just give him a jar of baby food instead of homemade if he wouldn't eat. We had to move him after 4.5 months though .... and thats when my battle started as to get him off jars we basically moved to all finger food at home (about 15mths). But at his new daycare it was all homemade things like spag bog, mac cheese, casserole, meatloaf - all mixed up how he didn't like it! He ate their "designer sammies" and sometimes the fish nuggets and chips, but that was about it. After a while I did end up sending food as I got so worried he would not want to go to daycare! (Daycare dont like food sent as its not fair on the other kids if one is having "treats" or nicer food). He did have to have a bowl of their food and wait for the others to finish (in the hope he'd eat it) and if he didnt like it they would let him have some food I packed. They also tried giving him part of the meal like plain pasta or veges which he sometimes ate. After a few weeks of that they agreed to make him toast / sammie and fruit if he wouldnt eat any of the lunch instead of me packing food. He used to always eat HEAPS of morning tea and afternoon tea to make up for it! By the time he moved into the over 2s rm he ate a few things sometimes and they did lots of praise and high fives with the chef if he tried a few mouthfuls etc. His carer was really patient with encouraging him, but if he tried it then didn't like it they let him leave the table. I don't think they gave him extra food in there but he did start eating better .... most days came home pretty starving but it was only twice a week by then as I had a baby at home so I stopped worrying about it. He is 4 now and eats well there, and has done for the last year.

So it may be a tough time for a while. But hopefully with seeing all the other kids eat he will copy them. and the teachers will have dealt with lots of kids like that before, so talk with them about your concerns. You never know, he may eat better for them! (I hope!!) Good luck.

Millyz wrote: True, only issue is I work some days so 6pm is the earliest we can get home from work/daycare and have dinner ready, twice a week. Also my husband doesn't get home till close to 6pm most days so it would mean going back to eating without him. Not sure what to do as obviously Lizzie's eating is the most important thing but it wouldn't work long term for us.

We had a phase like this. For a couple of months, I got daycare to give him dinner before I picked him up. I also remember reading an article that was problem-solving a similar situation. They suggested looking at dinner time differently - maybe make lunch the bigger meal and dinner was snacks in the car (maybe some cold meat or veges or crackers) then something light at home. I often give DS1 a healthy snack when we get home (we sit down and have a "picnic") and that tides him over; it also means that if he packs a sad and doesn't eat tea, I know he's had something vaguely healthy.

I'm a big fan of not always following the "Rules" about how things are done and looking at what works for your family.