Depression whilst pregnant

I posted this up in the pregnancy section but down here seems much better suited :D Sorry if this is long :( But just wanting some advice or support! :)

Before I got pregnant, I was on medication for anxiety. I get really bad anxiety, to the point where I cant sleep at night and am up having some form of panic attack, so had to leave study unfortuantley and go on the sickness benefit as the DR suggested I didnt work for a while. Then I fell pregnant.

As soon as I found out I stopped my medication because I didnt know what harm it does to bubs. I talked to the doc and she asked if I was doing ok without it which I said yes because at the time I was

But now I dont seem like I am coping at all. But I have heard that the medication I was on can cause premature birth and or late miscarriages. Its a miracle for me that I am pregnant (had unprotected sex with a previous boyfriend for about a year and never got pregnant) and I dont want to risk anything but I think I am at the end as far as coping on my own goes.

I am having serious relationship troubles, to the point where I dont want to be with him anymore, but I dont feel I can leave as we have just moved in to a place together and he is the father of my child and I want my baby to have a dad because I didnt.

Does anyone have any advice on what I should do regarding the medication side and also the relationship part. Its good to hear other peoples perspectives.

I agree with Amme_eily's advice.

And regarding the relationship. If it is really not a good relationship and you are just not happy, leaving would be the best thing. I never is good for women who stay just for the baby. As babies pick up the tension and you and bubs need to be happy. If you can having a good understanding with the Dad, he can still be involved in babies life if that's what you want. But it is far better to get out of a bad relationship now, though it may seem hard and scary. I have been in that position myself with my first child and I am much better off and so is she. It's easier to adapt without a bad relationship. Rather then sticking it out for the baby and then things ending after baby is around and then going solo. But if you think it would help, you could try relationship counselling with your partner.

Glad to hear you've been to your doctor!

You'll find that there are women out there who take meds while pregnant. I was on Fluox for the first 20 weeks with DD then I came off. I got PND really awfully (which they say you have an increased risk for if you have depression b4 getting pregnant) and they reckon I'll have less of a chance of getting it again if I stay on meds though the next pregnancy so that's probably what I'd do!

Also, there are lots of studies being done of AD's in pregnancy because it's a situation that's happening more and more. There is nothign 100% conclusive about there- some studies show problems, others show none at all. However, what every study agrees upon is that untreated mental illness (like Depression), most definitely DOES affect bubs in a bad way, so keep that in mind

As for your relationship, I agree with what the others have said but just have to add something- pregnancy is hard on a relationship. Hormones and emotions flying everywhere...add to that Depression/Anxiety and it's no wonder you feel the way you do! I'd honestly say not to make any big decision while you are in this hard place. Once you feel better, you might feel differently about DH.

All the best!

Oh just wanted to say I found a really good book to read regarding postnatal and pre-natal depression. It's called 'Postnatal Moods - Emotional changes following birth - by Gillian White'. It was written by a New Zealander. It talks about moods during pregnancy too. I've read half of it so far, it's really good.

Is that due to self-harm BecBarrer?

Well I'm sure they'll be too busy helping concentrate on getting baby out and won't even notice and if they do, hopefully they just ignore them and don't judge.

I too have scars from self-harming, mine are on my wrists and I hate them and sometimes forget they are there and usually worry what people think too. Especially when they know I have children too. I worry they'll think I'm nuts or selfish.

You had your reasons for doing it and that's your business and no-one else's. Usually us women worry about people seeing things and judging and often no-one notices our scars.

Edited by escadachic