IVF Fail.. Where from here....

Here we go.. I'm new to this forum/blog type but thought i would give it a go as finding it really hard to cope at the moment & thought it would possibly be good to chat to others around me who understand how i feel.

Long story short - My husband and i have been trying to get pregnant for approx 4 years. As he had been in a previous marriage with 2 children he had had a vasectomy. 4 Years ago we paid $9000 to have this reversed, which was successful BUT no pregnancy and then basically we were stuffed around for 2 years by our local doctors/surgeons etc and end result - It failed due to 'scare tissue' forming therefor no sperm was getting through. So we were then referred to Otago Fertility Services in Dunedin who are brilliant and do their very best. As my husband couldn't give sperm he had a testicular biopsy followed by sperm taken directly from the Epididymis (spelling?? sorry)and we started our 1st IVF cycle. We are eligible for two funded rounds. We have just finished our last embryo transfer from round 1 with a fail. Only 2 embryo's made it to blastocystic stage, one took and then i miscarried and our last a negative result.
I am feeling so scared and just awful. I don't know where to go from here (other than trying again). I don't know how to cope, I am dreaming every night i have a baby and then waking the next morning and feeling as though i lost something i never had.
My friends and family are brilliant but as some or all of you may know people just don't understand....
Anyone have any tips on eating/diet/acupuncture etc during IVF or just tips on how to get through....

Thanks xx

It's natural to feel quite despondent after a negative. I've had three failed IVF cycles (including a miscarriage) so I know how you feel. But there are some positives you can focus on. You had embryos make it to blast, one gave it a good one, and it looks like your other one was good enough to freeze. I don't know how many eggs you had, but two good blasts is a really good result.

As for tips about diet etc, the usual advice is to avoid or limit consumption of caffeine and alcohol, and take a supplement that has folic acid and iodine. Personally, I have 'vintage' eggs, so I take some extra supplements. I've done acupuncture in the past in the lead up to a cycle, and have acupuncture before and after transfer.

Don't give up hope. IVF will work for 80% of people within 3 cycles. You've had some really promising signs so there is no reason why this won't work for you.

Hi Bexstar

First of all:


Yep, it's hard. We got pg with our first cycle, but miscarried, BFN the second time and are currently on Day 11 with our 3rd and last cycle. It will definitely be the last for us (though we've said that before!), but we're both really clear that we've done everything we can and there comes a point where you just have to move on with life. Easier said than done though!

But if you're planning to coninue, despite our lack of achieving the ultimate success, we have done really well - I was 45 when we did our first cycle and had two 'perfect' embies transferred, both of which implanted, and last time had another 2 'perfect' embies. So far this time things are going pretty well - had a scan on Tues which showed 7 follicles, though some are pretty small. I have acupuncture every week, and before and after transfer, take Thompsons Anti-oxidant, DHEA (a nutrition supplement), melatonin for the first two weeks of the cycle, and testosterone patches for five days before the cycle, am caffeine-free, the usual good diet (all of those are recommended by our clinic, some because of our age), as well as co-enzyme Q10 ( an anti-ox) and L-arginine (an amino acid invovled in cell formation).
You might find this organisation helpful - they might have a contact group near you: http://www.fertilitynz.org.nz/

Best wishes

Hi Bambino

Thanks for your post nice to hear someone who's keeping it real. I think letting it take over is half the problem for some of us I've put my life on hold for the last 3 years I guess it's easier for those going private to just plan live and get on with it while still feeling like they have some control over timelines... for us public people the health professionals call the shots as to where and when and yeah it's pretty much impossible to live a normal life when you only get 2 weeks notice you need an op I mean WTF do you tell your boss who is not satisfied with a doctors certificate and wants an explanation when you don't really want to tell them the truth as it's essentially none of their damn business.....