| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
Daizy 
Senior Member
Joined: 19 July 2007
Points: 3933
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Topic: Scared Scared Scared!
Posted: 24 September 2008 at 10:52am |
|
Keira has always been scared of everything right from a little girl. I though maybe as she got older she would grow out of it but they seem to be getting stronger.
Shes afraid of all animals, insects, birds, ever butterflies have her hiding in her bedroom. She hates loud noises, shes afraid of heights, you name it shes afraid of it. We had to leave my parents last night because their cat came in and she lost the plot and wouldnt let me go. We went to a Karnival on Saturday and as soon as she saw the motorbikes she hid in her jacket and made herself fall asleep. She wont play on the playground because its too high. Sometimes i worry shes missing out on so much because shes too afraid to try anything.
I know its normal for kids to have fears but does this seem a little extreme?
Whats causing these fears, i cant think of any bad experiences shes had. Is it me being over cautious. I know I have never been a big fan of animals and often noticing myself pulling back from Dogs, which she has probably picked up on.
And how do I help her overcome these fears? Should I be encouraging her to face her fears, like not taking her home when the cat comes inside (to my own house which is just next door to my parents)and taking her on the playground to show her its safe? Or Should I be comforting her and getting rid of what ever scares her?
I really dont know what to do?? Or if should just ignore it all together and not worry about it.
Edited by Daizy
|
|
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
Kellz
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Gisborne
Points: 7186
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 24 September 2008 at 11:51am |
|
Gosh thats a hard one. I guess that modelling the behaviour you want from her is the best way to teach her how to act. I have started holding snails etc, and trying not to scream when I see a cockroach etc so isla doesnt pick up on it.
You could go to the playground and just do heaps of stuff yourself and get her to join in when she is ready. Show her its fun!
|
|
Bizzy
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 10974
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 24 September 2008 at 2:00pm |
|
i wouldnt push her... but i wouldnt leave or stop doing stuff either. she may have sensitive ears if noises upset her so maybe some ear muffs for loud places...(i hate loud music unless it is on my terms). maybe acknowledging she is scared but also that it is ok and ok to be scared but that you wont leave. perhaps taking a more laid back approach...
|
|
|
|
busymum
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 12236
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 24 September 2008 at 7:38pm |
|
This is tricky. Hannah is scared of heights and Briona (younger sister) is a climber by nature. The other day we were at a park and Briona wanted to climb up on some climbing gym which is geared for 7-12 year olds+. Anyway Briona did absolutely fine. She even slipped her footing at one point trying to get down but automatically just held on with her hands until she figured out what was going on - and then did it again on purpose and laughed.
Hannah on the other hand, it was a mission to get her to climb up to where she wanted to go (equal with Briona *rolls eyes*) and then when she saw how high she was, she refused to come down any way except for DH reaching up and getting her.
It's hard to know what to do. I'm quite cautious by nature, so is Hannah. I try not to push too hard because I know when I feel pushed too hard or backed into a corner, I'll just give up and not try. But I do try to encourage her that she can do those things - and also that she and Briona are different and like to do different things.
|
|
|
|
Daizy
Senior Member
Joined: 19 July 2007
Points: 3933
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 25 September 2008 at 10:51am |
|
Yeah, I have to keep on showing her that I'm not scared of these things and showing her they are ok.
I'm hoping when Maddi gets older she can show her sister not to be scared.
|
|
|
|
Nefertiti
Senior Member
Joined: 15 December 2007
Location: Hamilton
Points: 944
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 25 September 2008 at 11:30am |
|
This must be a hard situation to be in, and also to see your daughter be like this.
Have you discussed your concerns with your GP. He may refer you to the Child Development Assessment Unit.
The things you describe I feel are a bit out ofthe normal range for a 3yr old. But then again, it could just be her nature. But for her to be scared of the cat...esp since its your parents and you live next door I would have thought she'd be used to the cat?
Anyway, my thoughts are to just get her checked by the child development people. Then they can either put your mind at ease, or help her overcome any issues that are upsetting her.
Best of luck :)
|
|
|
|
Nefertiti
Senior Member
Joined: 15 December 2007
Location: Hamilton
Points: 944
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 25 September 2008 at 11:32am |
|
Oh, I'm presuming Keira is your 3yr old? :)
|
|
|
|
SMoody
Senior Member
Joined: 09 January 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 1999
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 25 September 2008 at 1:01pm |
|
If this is McKayla I would be talking to her about it and that sometimes I am scared of stuff too but that you should try at least and then model it. Take something you are a bit frigtened off and take her with when you try to conquer it.
For me it would be heights. Not totally petrified but I would never ever think of standing on a high building lookign down. So will tell her about this and then go and do a challenge of perhaps tree climbing and swinging polls and stuff like that they do in nature ect. Let her see you conquer your fear and then naturally she might follow.
|
|
|
|
Daizy
Senior Member
Joined: 19 July 2007
Points: 3933
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 25 September 2008 at 7:18pm |
|
Thanks, some really good ideas.
Yes Keira is my 3 year old. She is quite strange with cats as she absolutley loves their other cat which is slightly smaller.
|
|
|
|
caitlynsmygirl
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 8777
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 27 September 2008 at 4:37pm |
|
my 2 cents
First of all , they are obviously big fears to her , even if we think "a cat ?...really ?" , shes 3 , so at three , things are different.
All i would make sure she knows is that you understand and respect the fact shes afraid, and that she knows you wont push her to go near something she fears, i would let her know that if she sees something she is afraid of, it doesnt mean you'll leave, but that you will be with her the whole time and you know shes scared , but you'll stay with her , dont say "its ok , mummy is here, theres nothing to be afraid of " or similar, because obviously as far as shes concerned , there IS something to be afraid of , basically im saying let her know that your a team, and you know shes scared but you'll look after her and wont let anything get to her .
You may find her confidence just grows as she gets older
|
|
|
|
Candkids
Senior Member
Joined: 03 April 2007
Location: BOP
Points: 2503
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 28 September 2008 at 2:29pm |
|
ohhh very interesting
my dh's son is quite the same! he is scared of everything! from soft toys to cats, catterpillars . . .
i have NO clue what to do about it tho sorry
|
 DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above
|
|
Lulu
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 849
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 28 September 2008 at 8:15pm |
|
I would check this thread out:
http://www2.everybody.co.nz/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1278873&page=2&fpart=1
|
Lou
|
|
Scared Scared Scared!
