A stinky problem...

Hi everyone

My 5 year old has had 3 years of bowel problems. She would get so constipated she would leak faeces, and would pass motions the size of my arm every fortnight or so.
In the end after being let down by the public health system we saw a Paediatrician (Private) and within a month she was on the mend. For over a year now she has been going OK,
We had to toilet train her all over again and have her sitting on the toilet 2x a day. Her poos are now normal size and shes got no problems whatsover, EXCEPT...
She comes home from school and she stinks of poos. She must be turtle necking and holding on for dear life, and has little smears (like skid marks) in her knickers. The same happens when her friends come over to play, or if she goes to someones home. I am certain she is not constipated or going through the same thing again, as her poos that she does (When she can be bothered) are normal size. She never has a problem when shes at home with me in the weekends or in the evenings.

I am going absolutely crazy. Shes got her own wee bag of wipes and clean knickers for her to clean herself if she doesnt get to the toilet on time, Shes used this maybe 3 times this year. Today she came home from school, and yet again she smelt. When I told her to get on the toilet she said "why, i havent done anything!" and after 3 mins of battling with her she finally agreed to go, and said "Actually, yeah, I did have one mum"

I just dont know what to do with her. I know being negative and telling her off is not the answer. Shes been having jellybeans for every poo for over a year, but it doesnt seem to help when it comes to getting her to stop turtle necking!

so if she gets a jellybean when she does a poo what is her motivation to do one when at school where there are no jellybeans?

could it be that she is doing them at school but not wiping cause she is in a rush to get back to playing? my son went thru a stage of thinking he didnt need to wipe and would smell too.      

I am going through a similar thing with Caitlyn , she is 6 and for reasons Im still not sure of , goes most of the time in her knickers.
She is not a stupid child and is at the same level as her peers, but for this one thing , which is obviously a big thing ...it means she is too scared to stay at friends houses, and didnt even want to go stay with her dad in Australia last holidays.
She doesnt just have skid marks, she has the full thing,and I am sick to death of cleaning pooey knickers (TMI sorry ) she hasn't yet gone at school ,but i live in fear of that happening .
We have seen the GP , who referred us for a scan (to check for constipation) who referred us to a pedeatrician (sp) who referred us to a psychologist at Manukau Superclinic , who finally has referred us to another child psychologist at Wharinaki, we have our second meeting tomorrow in fact .
The first Psychologist we saw told us something about Sneaky Poos syndrome, which might be worth a look .

I have an idea how your feeling , it gets very very tiring, and frustrating and I feel bad because IM at the point where if she has gone in a public place, IM embarrassed and hate that people will smell her, and think i havent toilet trained her , I try my hardest not to let her see that tho, and I dont tell her off , and praise her when she does go on the toilet ...but some days ,when there have been 3 or 4 pairs of dirty underwear, its hard.
I hope you get the problem sorted out soon


Edited by caitlynsmygirl

ok this is TMI but when I was at primary school I had problems with going to the toilet. Mine was that I couldn't stand being heard going. This meant that I would hold on until I got home, and would only go if no one else was in the house. Sometimes holding on didn't work, and I would have a bit of an accident.

Could she be having a bit of a privacy issue?

because of her medical history, you guys are clearly very open about bowel motions etc. Maybe at school she is too embarrassed?

just a stab in the dark ...

Hi- wow- it must be a real challenge to deal with .... I would say if there arent medical issues , then after a year of using jelly beans, you should try changing the incentive to something different/ better to see if it makes any difference. I know with my kids, they would become immune to a treat like that after such a long time. maybe having a longer period of time that she needs to not have an accident, working towards a BIG treat or surprise that she really wants... ? my son responded better to his reward being wrapped like a present ( even if it was just a lolly or two) because he never knew what it was going to be and found it too excited/curious so he made sure he earned it.