How do you feed a reluctant eater?

Kiya has become quite fussy at meal times recently, and it's driving Nathaniel and I crazy. Getting food into her has become a struggle, with her taking up to an hour to eat a single piece of toast for breakfast.
If we are having something different (like the toasted english muffins we had this morning) she'll eat fine, but otherwise she mucks around, taking nibbles and telling us every other mouthful (no kidding) that she's had enough.

Kiya is often tired and grizzly, which would probably be fixed if she was eating enough! It's not a case of her not liking the food we eat, but rather that she just doesn't seem to want to eat it. We usually don't give her food inbetween meals, mainly because she's not eating her meals as it is.

Any suggestions?

i would suggest giving her snacks then - prob fruit. my boy is a bit younger than kiya but if he doesnt eat i usually give him some fruit as a top up, i dont cook something different, dont want to get into that habit, just top up with banana or mandarin.

Maybe I'm a bad mother but if Maya doesn't eat what's on her plate then I don't push her, she just doesn't get anything else till the next meal. She's learnt that meal times are meal times and if she doesn't eat she gets mighty hungry!
Some days she won't eat anything at all and I worry that she will fade away, but other days she hoovers everything in sight.I worry too that she is not getting enough veges, but I put plenty on her plate so the choice is there.
I don't really have any suggestions other than that, I guess I just believe that they'll eat when they need to, and as long as you don't pander to them by making 'special' meals or giving them lots of between meal treats, that they will eat what they need.

Hi Becca, there are three things I can think of.

The reasons why, firstly ensure she is not constipated. This can cause a lack of appetite due to the backlog, Lactulose rectifies this.

Secondly this is Kiya's response to becoming a sister, for once she is not the only one needing attention (apart from hubby lol), and this is one way she knows she can get it. Spoil her a bit, buy a nice breakfast, especially for her, for a while. Just letting her know she matters too. Spaghetti bolognaise is a great treat for kids, yet not an expensive meal. Give her choices too in the meals, it might make things a litte easier.

Thirdly she is 4 years old, and they do like to assert their independence. If you feel this is what is wrong, then a tough approach is needed, but to be honest I think it more than likely is the second. Being a mum of five kids, I have seen them each respond differently to another child in the house.