I’m going to dig a hole...

sweetie. I hope you get support and encouragement from your family, friends and all the support in here

I lurked on the april thread and actually think there were a whole bunch of us secretly rooting for your little girl to pull through.

I hope things get better and hope you are getting support.

*cyber hugs*

Margo

You have so much of the emotion to go through, the "why's" the anger. It is all so normal.

I have only every shared my pictures of Eva with my mother. Nobody else ... Even after 5 years I cannot bring myself ever to watch her video of the scan, when she was alive. I can look at photos fine, but watching the scan is something I still cannot do.

It does get easier hon, with time but you never really ever get over such an event. It will change you as a person forever .



Edited by mothersinstinct

Hugs. I have nothing to offer except my thoughts

No advice hun. Just want to send my love and thoughts

Im so sorry for your loss and everything you are going through. When your ready maybe you could post some photos of her and share your wee girl with us. Ive seen two 20 week gestation babies and understand how hard it can be with peoples reactions but those who care can look past that and see what beautiful babies they are.
big hugs.

Margo,

Sorry to hear about your little Girl Marci.

I understand the pain your going thru. My little boy Kody passed away at 6 days old, about a year and a half ago. At first all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and wished that it was the day before and nothing had happened. Althou its not a good experience, you grow from it and the days do get better, even thou it may not feel like it for a while. Even now I still have my days where I want to go back to before it all happened, however, I look forward to my support group meetings (SANDS).

If you ever need to talk just PM me.


Jo

I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through, and have no pearls of wisdom to offer.
But there was no way I was going to read and run

Arohanui

I'm so sorry. This is the second post of yours I have read and although I replied to the other one, this is the one that made me cry for you.

We've lost two babies and I remember well some of the feelings you described here. I wish I had words to help but to be honest what helps one day just hurts the next and grief is so personal that nobody truly knows how you feel, even those of us who have also lost babies.

Your girl is beautiful. Those people who might think her photo's are not beautiful are people who just don't deserve to look.

When we lost our son, who could have been gone for up to a fortnight before the scan showed he had died without any signs of having slipped away that I could feel, he died somewhere between 18-20 or 20-22 weeks (I disagree with the hospital about my dates) and we were not allowed to see him, they said it would upset us. I know now that they had no right to stop us and I wish we had looked at him just once. To us, he still would have been perfect. And your daughter is beautiful and if you want to show her photo or frame it or keep it safe just for the people who love her then do what feels right.

What happened to you, it's unfair and it's wrong and you did nothing at all to deserve it. Please don't think you are to blame. Every bereaved parent goes through these feelings, did we do something wrong, did we do something we shouldn't have done, did we not do something we should have done, am I being punished? And so much more. But nobody deserves to loose a baby, not you or any of us.

I'm really so, so sorry about your little girl. We lost our two before finally having a healthy boy. Our eldest son died for no reason we will ever know, our daughter was premature following a road accident. But our youngest child, our second son, he's here and he's happy and healthy and we love him for himself. I like to think he has the best of his brother and sister in him but that he's still his own person. He offers us a glimpse of what life might have been like if things had been different but gives us much joy in the way that it is just because he is here. A pregnancy following a loss is terrifying but it can have a happy outcome. I was scared too that I wouldn't love the new baby for himself but he's such a little character that it's impossible not to.

Again, I really am so very sorry for your loss. Things like this just shouldn't happen to anybody.