Non-biological fathers
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1017
Printed Date: 30 December 2024 at 10:27am
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Topic: Non-biological fathers
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Subject: Non-biological fathers
Date Posted: 10 October 2005 at 6:51pm
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Heya,
Right, some of you know that I've finally managed to rope myself in a boyfriend  and it's going really well!
My problem is that I don't know how to deal with the relationship between Hannah and Zeke. At the start of the year he didn't really bond with her and had valid reasons based on stuff between us. Now however he is really close to her - she is always giving him cuddles and using him as a climbing frame in the morning as well as him doing things like getting her up in the morning so I don't have to get out of bed. I want to let him know that he's doing an awesome job without freaking him out or placing too much expectation on him. As well... should I be letting him get this close? I kinda just think of Hannah as an extension of me, so if he is close to me he has to be close to her. I see us staying together seriously, so I feel safe that she is included. Anyway, anyone got any ideas on what I should do? This whole situation is very foreign to me! The serious relationship and the kid involved!!! |
Replies:
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 10 October 2005 at 10:16pm
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Hey wow that's great - i don't think that it should freak him out if you say it casually - I dunno, just something like "hey thanks for doing that..." blah blah, let him know you are greatful and exactly what you've said - that he's doing an awesome job. If he has taken up the cues and is doing those things for you and Hannah, i seriously don't think he should freak out if you complement him on it.
I think with the closeness thing, go with what you are comfortable with, If you feel happy with how things are then that's great, if not, then try and pin-point exactly what it is you aren't sure about and go from there. I think i may have just written a whole load of bollocks, lol, but maybe , hopefully some of it may make a little sense and help ya. lol ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 12:52am
| Oooh, like the name Zeke....it's been vetoed by hubby though. Oh well. Good luck with everything Nikki. Wish i could offer some advice but have no idea! But he must feel things are pretty serious too, if he's getting attached to Hannah! Have fun!!! And don't overthink things, as I think that's when i went wrong. |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 9:36am
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awwww thats so sweet. Yeah id say something along the lines of i really aprreciate how great you are with Hannah. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 1:40pm
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Hey Nikki, sounds like things are going really well. I guess if he didnt see your relationship as serious he wouldnt get so involved with Hannah. Sorry I dont have any advice as such, but I do agree with the others in keeping it casual - just let him know hes doing a great job and you really appreciate it. Good luck ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 3:46pm
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well I think I managed to let him know that I think he's pretty cool. Didn't freak out and I'm pretty sure he was quite proud of himself. hahahaha males.
Now onto the next step... moving in with him! Ok, that sounds rushed and terrible... but he lives next door to me and I am pretty much already their flatmate as I get very bored just being in my house with no adult company. Been planning for ages to move into their place for summer. We'll see how it goes. Could suck as I might be living aaaaages away from him next year and we've had it very easy so far |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 4:15pm
My father is not my biological father and he basically to me is my father he married my mother when i was 2ish and adopted me (my real father wasnt around) there was no doubt in my mind that anyone else could be my father, i hope all works out for you 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 4:35pm
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ahhh that sounds nice Jezsika.
I've got a friend who is exactly the same except she has contact with her grandmother (father's mum) and once her father and her happened to be there at the same time and he completely ignored her. I don't even know him but I want to punch him! Anyway... there is hope. man I'm so 'happy family' clucky.
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 5:41pm
OMG, how exciting Nikki!! Good on you. I haven't seen you for so long I have missed out on everything!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 9:51pm
I'll update ya on the goss when I finally make it to a coffee group! Or I could come pay you a special visit? - I have yet to meet Joey  Damn uni
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 2:20am
| Good for you Nikki. I know moving in is pretty serious, but to tell the truth, if you don't like it, you can always move out again right??? |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 8:22am
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Nikki - Yeh my biological father is a bit of a drop kick to be honest. His mother has passed away but i didnt know any of his family, its a big family secret, but i am getting married really soon and my father is giving me away (non biological father) i wouldnt have anyone else
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 8:34am
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My non-biological father made our wedding rings (he is a jeweller) and although he isn't with mum anymore I still keep in touch as much as I can.
Nikki - a special visit would be great!! I am free pretty much anytime, Joey and I could always come and meet you too if it's easier! Let me know, I would love to catch up! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 1:03pm
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I don't really have any words of wisdom since at the first hint of another man Maya's dad came riding in on his horse to win me back, but I just wanted to say I hope things work out well for you and Hannah! You guys deserve it! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 11:04pm
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haha Emma... he was a romantic underneath the tough guy attitude right?
well... looks like I'm going to have to find Han a new Dad anyway. Had investigators trying to track down her bio father but they can't track him. Apparently the next step is advertising to find him. It's all a bit extreme. I wish I knew someone that knew him. The only guy I know who is aquainted with him is the guy I previously thought was Han's Dad  So not the best person to ask.
How do I get myself in these situations?!?! 
Ana - I'll come see ya next week some time. Just gotta get my essay and crap out of the way and then I'm freeeeeee freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 11:35am
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Yay Nikki, not much longer to go! It is such a good feeling handing in your last assignments ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 4:06pm
| except i can't bring myself to actually do them!!!! arghhhhh |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 5:53pm
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Yeah - thats the problem isnt it, cos you know you pretty much finished!! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 2:45pm
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Ohhh Nikki! How exciting!
Ever want to talk about it, remember I've been there, done that. The funniest thing about Nathaniel moving in with us happened a couple of days later - Kiya came up to me and asked when he was going home! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 9:28pm
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haha Atleast Han can't ask funny questions! She just enjoys having someone else to play with in the mornings when I'm pretending she isn't there
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 9:39pm
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It's nice, having the option to pretend they aren't there or to pretend that you're not awake yet, isn't it! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 10:12pm
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haha yep! atleast it's not me getting my head whacked with my cell phone anymore - that's zeke's job now
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Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 15 October 2005 at 12:20am
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hey nikki great news about your relationship - i say jsut go with the flow. although i am one to give advice. i am terrified of meeting someone - i have a few trust issues lets just say the men in my life seem to let me down. so i am at a place where i would really like to meet someone but im not getting out to do so. maybe in a few months. and i overthink too much always thinking what ifs and how will it affect my boys but i really need to get over that aye lol. i know it will happen ooooonnnnneee day haha ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 16 October 2005 at 12:23pm
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these things have a way of working out. i ddin't think i'd ever find anyone either... and who knows... it might not work out.
in the mean time enjoy your boys
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