Newly Sinlge...
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1034
Printed Date: 19 December 2024 at 12:02pm
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Topic: Newly Sinlge...
Posted By: Nicky08
Subject: Newly Sinlge...
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 8:13pm
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heya its been a while since i've written on here, been extra busy. Kyan is doing very well growing soo fast hes a little fatty, hes sick at the moment they think he might have asthma! not what i wanted to hear! I am now a single parent kyans dad left us about 2 months ago we still c him quite often but its still hard. i know now how solo mothers do it! its hard coping all by yourself knowing theres no dad u can call out to if u just need a break. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://nickybeeching.bebo.com
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Replies:
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 8:57pm
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Hi Nicky, great to hear that Kyan is growing so well! poor wee mite getting asthma, Alyssa gets it when she has a cold, the cough and weeze is horrible. I cant beleive he is 7 months already man time has flown. I'm sorry to hear that you and his dad arnt together anymore. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 9:44pm
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wow Kyans 7 mnths already!!!! hasnt time flown by!! ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
awww Nicky,sorry to hear u and Kyans dad rnt together anymore.big hugsPosted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 11:17pm
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I have asthma and my mum said it is just soo nasty to hear the wheeze. I spent a lot of time in the shower wtih the hot tap going, no under it, but the steam was great. Vicks baby balsam is good too. Put it on Kyan's back though, necause if he rubs it in his eyes it stings like hell!!
Also in the future you may want to watch his dairy intake as dairy can increase mucus which makes the asthma worse. i also can't take ANY pain medication apart from panadol, and have a shellfish allergy that apparently is related. Sorry to hear about you and Kyan's dad!! |
Posted By: Sarah hanna
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 10:01am
hi, dont the fathers have all the luck, my husband left 4 mnths ago, so it's just me and my three kids, Ty 7yrs, angel 3yrs and chloe 7mnths. he just picks them up when he wants and has good old time, stuffs them full of sugar, keeps them up late them sends them home grumpy. i've forgotten who i am, just to busy being mum!
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Posted By: Angelme
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 4:18pm
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Ahh less responsibility dears. See it's a males world lol. ------------- Cheers Angel NZ Single Parents http://www.nzsingleparents.com - www.nzsingleparents.com |
Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 4:19pm
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ohh another good tip with balsalm is to put it on the soles of bubs feet as the vapour rises up thru their jammies and is not as strong if its on their chest or back ( not sure if thats a good thing or not??) ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 4:23pm
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mum used to put it on a tissue and stick it between our singlets or in our jammies pocket. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 4:24pm
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Hey Nicky sorry to hear about you and Kyan's dad, take care of yourself - have you got other family that can give you a bit of time out sometimes? ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 10:01pm
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Hey Nicky... sucks about Kyan's dad!
I'm a single mum, sometimes it drives me nuts, other times it's cool to have Han to myself. Make sure you surround yourself with positive people and good friends. I've got a bunch of next door neighbours who are awesome and if I need company I just go over there and let Han run rampant in their house. They are great with her and let me have time out. Stay close to your Mum as well. She seems like she loves Kyan so make the most of it 
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Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 15 October 2005 at 12:10am
Hey Nicky sad to hear about you and your ex partner. I am a solo mum of twin boys (turned 2 yesterday now - its just after midnight now sat morn didnt realise it was so late ) and at times it can do your head in but when they look up at me with so much love in their eyes i just melt. And it is hard when bubs is sick and dads not there for support. My eldest twin keegan was rushed to hospital last year (we lived out in the country 45min from town) as he collaped and was vomiting and going unconsious and i was angry at my ex for not being around. But i have the greatest of friends who just rallied around to support me so as long as you have support you will be fine. And in the end keegs was ok - it was suspected meningitus and he had to have a spinal tap (which was awful)poor dude but it ended up being a "virus" as per usual.------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: Nicky08
Date Posted: 30 October 2005 at 9:58pm
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Yea it is really hard with him just dropping in when he feels like it and promising to have kyan and then changing his mind at the last minute, but on the other hand its ok that hes not around cos i get to experience his first time crawling walking and talking and hes gonna miss that and one ay he'll regret it. Hes got another girlfriend now which sux cos he rubs that in my face, hes soo imature. Kyan is starting to move around he kan crawl for a couple of secs then just drops its sooo cute, hes such a happy boy, lotsa smiles all the time he has a really cheeky personality.He keeps getting ear infections now, grrr if its not one thing its the other!his wheezing has settled down alot he only has to have his puffer now and then which is good. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://nickybeeching.bebo.com
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Posted By: Nicky08
Date Posted: 30 October 2005 at 10:02pm
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I've got james's (my ex partner) mother and sister staying with me at the moment which is great i love the help they keep my house spotless its great! me and his mother are really close she just like a mum to me and his sister they stick up 4 me more than they do 4 james sometimes its great haha.everyone finds it weird we get along so well cos alot of ppl dont get along with there mother inlaws well my ex mother in law now, but i do its great ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://nickybeeching.bebo.com
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Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 31 October 2005 at 12:10pm
hey about your ex having a new girlfriend i say so what. Leon got a new girlfriend and wanted to start taking the boys away - which i said no too as they dont really know him. but i have come to the conclusion that guys do that - rush out and get a new woman and us left behind can feel quite lonely angry and sad but in the end we wont rush into silly relationships and when we do meet someone it will be because we are ready and the person will be kind and loving to us and our children so the wait will be worth it...just my thoughts but its what keeps me going sometimes  ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 31 October 2005 at 12:26pm
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What is it with men? I like to call it "the great buggering off", where a whole generation of men seem to just up sticks and bugger off when the going gets tough. And yes, they do tend to get new partners fairly quickly, and my powers of deduction have figured out that it's for 3 reasons - 1: They can't be alone. 2: They think their willy will fall off if they don't use it 5 times a week; and 3: They're crap (well, some are). I have a friend who was deserted 6 weeks before giving birth to her first baby. He then decided to come back after 18 months, got her knocked up again, then legged it out the back way 2 weeks after her second son was born. What a star of a man.
You girls who do this alone are marvellous. I have all the respect in the world for you. Not only are you brave and strong, you are wonderful mothers and you are fabulous women too. ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 31 October 2005 at 4:03pm
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hey nicky when i said so what i meant so what to them - they think they are the big man cos they can get a new g/f - and i do like your reasons as above - very true lol . ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: HelenElla
Date Posted: 31 October 2005 at 4:11pm
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When I was eight months pregnant with Chloe her dad started cheating on me and being 17 I was too scared to leave anyway he was never there and would never help with Chloe and would just complain when she cried. I knew he was still cheating and wouldn't come home for days at a time by the time Chloe was 10mths old I had got over my postnatal depression and realised I was silly for not telling him where to go sooner. It was very hard ajusting to the whole concept of being a single mum as well as all the stigma the goes with it(I was living in a small town). But when it came down to it I feel it bought me closer to my daughter as we only had each other which made me stronger as a mum. Since then I moved to Napier and meet someone who has embraced us both and loves Chloe as his own which is very important. I has been a long road getting here but I stayed strong and now I'm the happiest I've ever been. I really think that although sometimes hard it is so much better being a single mum rather than settling for second best. |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 31 October 2005 at 6:32pm
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just gotta ask - how did you meet someone??/ i am ready to get out there but alittle scared. and i know how it feels to catch your partner cheating - i caught the boys dad in the act twice while i was preggy as well as the dodgey text mess and emails all from diff woman. so have been pretty burnt. have been chatted up a couple of times on the rare occassions i go out but so not into meeting guys in the pub scene - they are just after a one nighter mostly. anyway let me know your secret ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: Angelme
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 10:48pm
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Ha ha ha good question, in this country where the women way out number the men. Sorry, been single for five years now, walked out of a crap 13 year marriage. Thought by going to Aus more ripe pickings, even if it is an ex kiwi lol ------------- Cheers Angel NZ Single Parents http://www.nzsingleparents.com - www.nzsingleparents.com |
Posted By: HelenElla
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 9:50am
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To be completely honest I didn't want to meet anyone in the least, after being in such a crappy relationship I was just enjoying being single and not being treated as some slave to man who never respected me. Anyway I meet Josh because I had to get out of the tiny town of Blenheim because everyone knew everything about my private life so I came up to Napier with Chloe's aunty(her fathers sis) for a holiday and she is from here so knew some people and without saying anything to me her and one of her friends set me up on a blind date with Josh. Since we had both just come out of a long term relationship we both had to be bullied into going. Anyway we meet and I've never really believed in the idea of an instant connection with someone but that's what it was for us. We spent the entire night just talking and talking. We took things very slow as we were both scared of getting into another bad relationship. Eventually I let him meet Chloe and he was great with her, he loves kids and really embraced Chloe. It took Chloe a while to warm to him and we didn't really want to rush it as she had never had a positive male role in her life. After a lot of trips for both of us between Blenheim and Napier I eventually decided to move up here for a fresh start. Chloe's father never made any contact with her and from what I can tell still wants nothing to do with her, he didn't even send her a b'day card! One strange thing that happened was one day when Chloe decided to call Josh "Dad" we had never refurred to him as that so it was quiet a shock but at this stage we were in a very soild relationship so we chose to accept it. Josh has been a wonderful dad to Chloe right from day one as well as treating me better than any man ever has. I was never too sure that I would ever meet anyone who could accept Chloe as their own unconditionally which is very important to me. I knew Josh has always wanted two kids and I love kids so I thought "ok I don't mind having two kids to him" then a few weeks ago he said that once this baby is 3months old then he plans to get a vasectomy that is when I realised that he sees Chloe as 100% his own. I think the only secret is that it will happen when you least expect it, just keep an open heart and you never know what might happen. Josh and I now have a baby due TODAY If it happened for me I'm sure it will happen for you too |
and have set a date for our wedding early in 2007. Life couldn't be better.
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 10:02am
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Yay for you, you are so lucky to have met such a wonderful man!
Blenheim is fairly small town, aye? I like the weather and the lifestyle here, but I HATE everyone knowing your biz! I'm not rom here, so i find the women regard me with a little suspision, because they don't know who I went out with at high school, or how rich my parents are. LOL! I'm pleased you were able to make a fresh start somewhere else. Godd for you and Chloe, you are very lucky. I hope baby comes today for you! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: HelenElla
Date Posted: 03 November 2005 at 8:29am
| Well I grew up in Picton which is even smaller and my parents are still there. It always got on my nerves how everyone seems to stick their nose where it doesn't belong. I found that eveyone seemed to know that my ex was cheating on me and gave me pittyed looks in the street but no one had the guts to come up and tell what was going on. Whenever we go back to visit we get all the locals coming up to us asking us 20questions. I still can't even walk into a book store with the shop keeper saying "I remember when you were just knee high to a grasshopper"! |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 03 November 2005 at 12:17pm
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That's only because you were a "local", not one of the many summer visiters...
I lived in both Blenheim (Mar to Oct 2000) and Picton (Oct 2000 to Feb 2001) for a short time. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 03 November 2005 at 2:03pm
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ha ha, small towns, aye, everyone seems to know everything about everybody and what they don't know, they make up! bah humbug! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 03 November 2005 at 10:32pm
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Hahaha my step-grandmother moved to Waikawa Bay a couple of years ago and by gosh did she get into the small town gossip circle pretty fast!
Last time I went to the golf club with her I could hear her whispering to my Poppa "ooh, now look at Shirley D, she looks like she's put on a bit of weight... [Oh Hiiii Shirley, lovely to see you! You look great!]" I remember sitting at a table waiting for Margo to finish a hole and some ladies sat with me. I asked them if they knew her and they almost said some horrible things until I saved them by admitting I was her granddaughter. Obviously they are all the same. Old ladies with nothing better to do that gossip behind each others' backs. I'm just glad my Poppa isn't like that. He just ignores Margo! hehe |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 03 November 2005 at 10:47pm
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Ha ha its not tjust old ladies! My Auntie is the manager at paper plus here, and I ws lurking round the kids books and i could hear them bitching about her, so i appeared at the counter... mwahaha! very sheepish ladies! I think Picton/Waikawa the worst.
Actually, my ante natal group is shocking for that as well, so i am prety much over meeting with them, it just turns into an all out competition or bitch fest ( I know we all like a gossip, but honestley!!) ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 03 November 2005 at 10:52pm
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hey gotta say its not just old ladies - i lived in a military camp for 4 yearas OMG!!!!if you happen to look at another guy i swear within no time the whole camp is talking about how you are sleeping with him and his 5 mates. also if anything does happen eg someone does catch their other half cheating ( which by the way is rampant in the defence force sorry to any1 who is with defence on here) it spreads like wildfire - no respect for ppls feelings. ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 03 November 2005 at 11:10pm
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Yeah this is airforce town, and my ex was in the airforce, and can I just say, manm there are a different set of rules and morals for those people, and rumour! OMG you are so right! Am shaking my head remembering it all! Glad I got out of there and settled down with a NORMAL man! LOL! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 04 November 2005 at 8:47am
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I completely agree with you, Annie! Kiya's biological father is in the airforce, I met him while I was working as a bartender at Woodbourne. He was seconded to the navy and moved to Auckland, then a month later I moved to Picton for a different job. We continued our relationship, long distance. When I found out I was pregnant, he freaked! I haven't talked to him since Kiya was 6 weeks old, and he's never met her.
I met Nathaniel when Kiya was 6 months old. He's the only "daddy" she has ever known, and she adores him. Nathaniel is going to adopt Kiya when we can get it organised. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 November 2005 at 9:49am
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Yay for you, thats awesome!
Her dad sounds like a bit of a childish A**!, so She's way better off with Nathaniel. My brother was in the navy for a while, and his opinion on the whole military way of life is that the "outside rules don't apply", in regards to monogamy, responsiblity, etc. Seems the girl in every port thing wasn't just a myth. Anyhoo, he's out now, and a responsible hubby and dad, but he did have some difficulty readjusting to the "rules" on the "outside"! And to think, they (the airforce people here) have the cheek to call us civillians "Pods"! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 04 November 2005 at 10:47am
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Childish is a bit of an understatement! I found out I was pregnant on his 28th birthday, a month after I turned 20. I rung him and said "Happy Birthday! Sit down..." His immediate response was "Is it mine?" followed by "Are you going to get an abortion?". If we'd been face to face instead of talking over the phone, I would have slapped him! At that time, we thought I was about 13 weeks along, so I told him where to put his suggestions and that I was too far along for an abortion anyway. He had the nerve to ring me back a couple of days later telling me that I could have an abortion right up to 20 weeks, and that he'd done all this research and that women who had abortions didn't regret them! I hung up on him.
Our relationship ended a month later with him telling me he did not find me attractive now that I was pregnant (around 25 weeks along by that stage!) and that he did not want a girlfriend who was pregnant or a single mum - never mind his contribution to the situation!
I had a few hangups about my pregnant body after that... this time round, Nathaniel couldn't get enough of looking at me, and was constantly telling me how good I looked to him - which helped me get over them! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 04 November 2005 at 11:36am
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Yeah the boys dad is ex military just got out a month or so ago. not that we really keep in contact. the last time he saw the boys was when they were just over a year old. loser!!! And i caught him with the most uglyiest chick in my bed - puched them both 2 naughty aye but it felt good!! then caught him with a big ugly mama in shower a week b4 had boys - what a winner.
Also gota say the chicks in defence really not much better. usually they act like your mate but behind your back are sleeping with your man!!! ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 November 2005 at 12:54pm
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What pigs those 2 are, you are both better off without them.
I had similar probs with airforce women, seemed every bloke was fair game, married, "committed" or not, very "blokey" chicks. Sorry if I have cause any offence by generalising like that! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 04 November 2005 at 1:42pm
| My sister in law is in the army is Aus and has similar things to say about some of the women she's with. She said some are lovely but the majority are "highly sexed" she reckons. |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 04 November 2005 at 2:15pm
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its just defence force for you really, all over the world from what i gather too. can tell you now no more defence guys for me!!!!!! military chicks can be hard to get to know cos they quite territorial bout "their boys" and dont like any new chikcs!!! although i do have some great army chick mates but mostly not interested in them as friends dont trust most of them to be honest ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |