Returning to work...
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1159
Printed Date: 11 March 2025 at 6:18am
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Topic: Returning to work...
Posted By: fattartsrock
Subject: Returning to work...
Date Posted: 16 November 2005 at 8:16pm
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At about 12 months before I planned to, I am returning to work in a few weeks. To cut a long story short, an opportunity presented itself within my company that may not in the future, so I am thinking I may take the leap. They can offer me a temporary contract till the end of Jan, to see if it works out with Jake, etc. It is about 20 to 25 hours a week, and if it dosent, then I can leave that position and return home until my maternity leave is up without affecting it.
I have organised Bernados for the care, I am meeting with prospective carers next week. I'm very nervous and scared! How did everyone else cope if/when they returned?    ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Replies:
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 16 November 2005 at 9:50pm
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you'll find that a heap of us have done this and usually the theme is the same - PREPARATION!!!.. it's normal to go through feelings of nervousness, guilt, sadness and joy all at the same time in the first weeks, happy that you are doing something for yourself, sad that you are leaving you baby, and guilt that you are actually enjoying being away from them sometimes.
I have just done a project on returning to work/study and continuing to breastfeed, for my maternal health paper... but the ideas translate to anyone returning to work, even if they choose to bottle feed bubs instead. can email you a copy if you want... ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 16 November 2005 at 10:01pm
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I actually found it really good to be back at work to tell the truth. I think i said in another post, I enjoyed being "Liz" again, instead of "jake's mum". We had a lovely daycare who just adored our boy so we were really lucky. Even though we spoke different languages, I still think good communicatin is the key. I still felt guilty sometimes, but reminded myself that if I was happy, so was Jake.
We also were about to have a "test", where we left jake at daycare for two hours. they had our number and would call if he was upset. two hours later and he was asleep in someone's arms. No0 probs at all. |
Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 16 November 2005 at 10:26pm
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i have been offered the chance to work at the new warehouse here n palmy but am way scared of having to leave my baby girl(and Xander),she is both bottle and breast fed ATM so am pretty flexible with feeding her,Nath will be the one at home with her and i almost would kinda feel sad cos i ahve been a sahm since April 03(well thats when i stopped working) and have gotten used to going to town when i wanted etc etc.I hate the whole interview proccess too cos I just dont know how to "sell myself" to the interviewer.Arghhh why cant sahm's get paid (after maternity pay stops). ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 8:02am
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i just had an interview yesterday and it was so terrifying! i'm going to work part time as we need the extra money and mainly as we want to put jack into daycare for the social interaction.
it sounded hopeful but i have another interview today and my god i am so nervous! i have trouble with the q's like 'what will you bring to the company', 'why should we hire you' and what areas do you think you need to improve on!  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 8:50am
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My hubby isnt too keen on me returning to work, he says there are millions of jobs out there later on, and I say But not this one! I love my job! Also, like you guys said, its selling yourself, and those sticky what can you do for us questions I hate...
I am mostly nervous that Jake will really bond with his carer, and forget I'm his mum!!! I know that sounds silly... It has all happened so fast, as well. On one hand, I am really looking forward to it,and we could really do with the cash, but on the other, maybe he's too little? Too bad sahm's aren't paid, like Xandersmum said! Luckily they are flexible if it dosent work out! Janine, if you could email me that paper, it would be AWESOME! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Alan Mum
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 9:07am
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I went back to work when Alan was 4 month's old it was really hard the first few weeks although I was very lucky as my Hubby was looking after him which made me feel totally at peace. I am how ever about to star a new job where my Sis in law is going to have Alan for about 4 hour's sat mornings I a very nervous bout this, this is one of the first time's we have left him other then with Poppa and Granma. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 9:19am
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Jack's mum, i was always told to use your strentgths as areas you need to improve on - ie, when they ask what areas you could improve on yourself - use examples like - I can be a bit of a perfectionist - i like things done well and properly, etc. lol so it's actually selling yourself even more. a bit crafty really.
Jacob's mum, everyone worries that maybe their baby might get attached to the carer more - but they don't, what they get from the carer is nowhere near the kind of love and bond they have with you, no matter how great the carer is you will always be their number one - it sounds mean - but sometimes it actually feels nice for baby to cry when you leave - cos it makes you feel wanted and needed.. but once they are settled, and go to the carers happily and pretty much just go to play and leave you for dust.. it makes you feel like they don't need or love you anymore - butreally all it means is that they trust that you are coming back to get them and they have fun with the carers. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 1:21pm
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Thanks!
My parents are moing up here after new year, so i may be able to leave him with my mum sometimes as well, i would feel better about that, maybe. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 2:01pm
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I used Barnados when I went back to work, helped that the caregiver is my friends mum. I was actually glad to get away from Arna for a few hours (was working 5 hours a day 3x a week - which David had her for One day a week) Gave me adult conversation, a break and on my lunch breaks I could walk into a shop without worrying about what Arna was doing!!
As Janine said it is all about preperation and getting two people ready in the morning before you have to go to work (I found this hard as Arna got up at 8 and I had to be out of the house by 8:15 as im 30mins from town!) Sorry for the novel but all the best and remember if you are having a hard time at work missing your lil man it's normal. ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: naki_noodle
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 3:13pm
Hey I had a harder time going back after my first lot of maternity leave than I did the second time round more because the little tike decided she wouldn't take the bottle (she was breasfeed only up to that point) and would scream blue murder at her father until I came home to feed her ... not always easy when you are a nurse in a busy ward anyway after much fuss and my boss getting a little annoyed with me I ended up doing night shift with hubby looking after kids during the day both times round . Makes life interesting especially now my little man has started teething ....neva a dull moment
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 9:27pm
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lolol, Hey - i can totally realte - i'm in my last year of nursing trianing and have had fun and games with my wee girl not wanting to take the bottle for dad when i am out on placement - plus, those long shifts and crappy hours - add them to a baby and a toddler and it's pretty tough going! ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: naki_noodle
Date Posted: 18 November 2005 at 3:10pm
| Yeah is tough going sometimes but worth it in the end. You have my sympathy at least I'm getting paid to work the long shifts and crappy hours. Hope all is going well with study for states. |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 18 November 2005 at 3:15pm
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I'm in with the midyear group at the mo after having my little girl - still, only 7 months and counting to go, can't wait - i started before i had my first child - and had to go part time for a while cos they stuffed up a few of my papers... took 2 yrs to finish the 4 papers (6 months worth) that i dropped when i had paris.. all my mates graduated last year. just wanna finish and get out there - hey how easy is it to find work that fits in with family hours - have you ever worked in community or day clinics... cos that's kinda where i am leaning towards hopefully - so i can be there at night for my girls ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: naki_noodle
Date Posted: 19 November 2005 at 4:11pm
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Hey yeah I forget most places have mid year intakes now . In my experience it seems to depend entirely on the type of boss you get most of them seem pretty accomodating. I did work out in community mental health when I first graduated but then I didn't have kids then so don't know how accomodating they would have been otherwise I've been working in a inpt mental health since then my bosses r pretty accomodating to all the mothers that work there like giving them only ams or pms or nights but like I said I think it depends on the boss. Hope that monologue was a bit of help .... in the middle of a block of night shifts so rambling a bit lol
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 19 November 2005 at 9:19pm
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yeah i get what you mean, lol, thanks
had always thought i'd want to work in maternity etc, but now thinking maybe neonates wouldn't be so bad, or maybe DOSA ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 November 2005 at 8:00pm
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Just to mention I am reading a book published by Random House called "The 48-hour Day" (too lazy to get up and check the authors name) which is basically a collection of women's experiences of returning to work and how they made it work for their family. It's also got some great tips for balancing family and work, plus daycare and after school care etc. info and is NZ relevant. I'm actually reviewing it for OhBaby! so I'll post a link to the review when I'm finished. But well worth a look for anyone returning to work. I found it useful and I've been doing the child/work juggle for over 2 years. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 21 November 2005 at 10:27pm
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Thanks! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 November 2005 at 10:21pm
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So its all in place now,I've signed my contract, I have organised care, and we are even entitled to a childcare subsidy, which sweetens the deal! I have been flat out this week organising it all, but on the good side, no time to sit down and over think it all.
I met Jakes carer, and I know her, I flatted with her littl sis about 6 years ago. She has been a carer for about 7 years now. Her house is a bit of a pig sty, was my only concern, but maybe I am too fussy. not dirty, just lots and lots of stuff! Heaps of toys, though, and a nice quiet room fo rhim to sleep in. Jake is going to her for an hour tomorrow for a test run. I am very, very nervous about how I am going to feel handing my precious precious wee babe over on monday, though.... Oh well, I will get used to it and so will he I guess! 
I took him to get some pixi fotos today, second attempt in the last 2 months and the little  wouldn't smile AGAIN!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 24 November 2005 at 11:46pm
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Haha gotta love it when they do that!! We have only had one "Pixi Photo" done (through Portrait Place in PN) and ended up spending about $480 on a full set of photos - I have lost the coupons so going have to fork out again for it next time...
Is it true you can ring the bounty pack people for more vouchers for us post baby brains? (ie: Losing everything!) I have so many safe places I dont even know where they are anymore... It's easier for the kids to go to someone you know (or know indirectly) - I missed Arna heaps when I was working (for a grand total of 2 months!) But I liked the adult "immersion" as I called it!! Still talked about baby stuff though... Odd how that happens... All the best for the job and the daycare!! ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 9:55am
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When I went back to work, we dropped Jake off for a two hour test run. he didn't even notice we were gone. Felt good at first, then i though...hey!!! even now, i can imagine some seedy guy coming up to him when he's older and saying "hey little boy come with me" and Jake'll be in the car quick-smart. He has no fear of strangers. Threw himself in the arms of one of the Freedom Flight attendants....seems to prefer men.
oh, off topic again...good luck with working! I really enjoyed being back at work. Am finding it strange now not to be working and spending all my time with Jake. I love him to bits, but need some adult company!! |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 10:37am
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I know what you mean, Liz, about adult company! I'm hanging out for 5th Dec, 'cause I've got a babysitter all lined up and an evening out planned.
Kiya's kindy has this fundraiser for a place in Taihape called Wild Roses. Its a christmas heirloom shop. The woman there offers these evenings where she does demonstrations of things like making wreaths, wrapping presents and decorating a tree. The organisation supplies drinks and nibbles, and all the money they make from ticket sales they can keep. The tickets give you 10% off on the evening, and that's where she makes her money. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 12:12pm
| i know that shop its a very cool shop. used to live in waiouru so used to go and nosey round the shops. i like the levis shop. got some good bargins there yay lol. |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 12:13pm
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PS have a great nite out 2
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 12:26pm
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Thaks heaps guys, your support, "true hollywood oops, I mean motherhood" stories" (I'll miss E!)have been a great help to me, and have really helped me justify it to Rod as well. I really appriciate everything you guys have said, its awesome!
Just realised, though, Will have less time to spend on here? AAARRRGGGHHH how am I ever going to catch up to Janine and Emma and even Ana at that rate!!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 1:18pm
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Hehe, don't forget that I work here, so I kind of habe an excuse
Willie and I are going out tomorrow night to the annual regatta after function at the cruising club where his sister works. It will be the first time in ages that we have actually gotten a babysitter and gone out which will be nice. And Maya's cousin is babysitting her so I'm sure she will have fun too! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 2:43pm
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I get to ditch my child next Friday as I am having my 21st. Evil monkey will probably wake up but I'll have an unlimited (though slightly intoxicated) number of babysitters!
Also going to the Xmas party for the law firm that Zeke works for. It's a ball. Which means I have to look pretty. And Zeke already told them I was a mother. Which means I have to spend the whole night pretending that I am not to wealthy, upper-middle class lawyers. (well, maybe not, but I have to turn on my charm and do my whole speech about where I am going in life. And skip the part where I admit I am on the DPB )
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 2:48pm
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Ooooh Nikki, a ball! I went to my sisters 21st a few weeks ago and it was a cocktail party and I had more fun getting dressed up than I actually did at the party! It was soooo mcuh fun!
I hope Zeke takes you out and spoils you rotten! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 3:18pm
| OOoh nikki, you could have real fun and tell them you are 21, and have 7 kids. not sure about the dads, but it could be one of the hurricanes. then go on the Jerry Springer web page and make up names for your "kids"...i like shanandra!! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 3:28pm
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no, it has to be something with a t, a k or q and an apostrophy (sp?. you know one of these ' )
Like T'neeqa Shanandra! lol! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 9:10pm
| My GF used to watch talk shows and email me name suggestions.....shall have to find them. on American's Next Top Model tonight saw Kwaku. Told mum we'd name the baby that! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 9:27pm
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We had our "try out" at the carers place today... I walked in the gate and I could hear him howling, my heart then he stopped when he saw me, and stared me down, as if to say mum you mean old cow, I had tars in my eyes . She said he was ok most of the time, just stared up when he heard a laoud bang, and realised I wasn't there... OOOh nervous now as that was onlt for an hour!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 9:40pm
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you'll be ok, it's hard but it gets better, sometimes - usually i am the first to be supportive but today was a hard day for me - when i realised our kids are getting shipped from pillar to post all day every day. and once we get home, mike goes off to work on his dad's stockcar. he is home maybe 2 nights a week right now if we are lucky... it all came to a head tonight after i had struggled through giving both girls a bath, ayja was screaming cos she was tired and paris was upset, and i said to her what's wrong, "i'm sad" why are you sad sweety? "cos i want my daddy to be here, my daddy's not here, he's gone lots." I just had one of those days where i felt like the worst mum ever, and then felt ever worse cos i hadn't chosen a dad who puts us first.
it'll get better, it's just crappy right now. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 9:41pm
Oh, Janine that must have been heartbreaking!  ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 10:58pm
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Awwwww You have a great relationship and he sounds like he is really supportive of you guys (for the most part). Don't forget it! It'll get better. I'm sure!
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 26 November 2005 at 6:42am
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Oh Janine, I know how you feel. Bloody cars!
I had a bit of a rant at Daniel the other day cos I didnt feel like he was putting us first. His job is to bath Hannah at 6 o'clock while I cook tea and stuff and he is happy with that, but I keep having to ring him up to remind him (hes off riding motorbikes or playing with cars etc). I felt like a right bitch in saying this but I had been feeling like he was putting his family before our family too. I know his mum was really unwell and did almost die but she is home now and a lot better (not 100%, but almost). Cos that happened a couple of days before Hannah was born I felt a bit neglected once she arrived cos Daniel couldnt focus on us. It all came to a head cos I'd tell him about what Hannah had been doing during the day and instead of replying to that he would go on about something his mum was doing - got sick of it and cried one night and hes been a bit better since.
Oh, that wasnt meant to be so long. Didnt mean to hijack your post Janine ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |