Finding love again
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1182
Printed Date: 19 December 2024 at 4:00pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Finding love again
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: Finding love again
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 8:34pm
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im just wondering if theres anyone here whos had some experience with this ...Being in your 20s with a child and finding a partner.
Now, i am not one of those girls who needs a man to be happy-i live by the rule that if ur not happy within urself a mans not gonna change things BUT i have a 3year old and while i dont think my biological clock is ticking away yet-im only 24, im getting to the stage where i would LOVE more kids-my friend is pregnant and im so jealous! However i have a rule about not dating guy after guy-i want Caitlyn to have stability and i dont get out much(sure u can guess why) so just wondering is there any other ladies on this site that have had a child from a previous relationship and still managed to meet mr right?and how were they re ur kid/s. Thankyou! 
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Replies:
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 9:06pm
Hi there im marlene and i have 2 year old twin boys. am single and often wonder how ppl get to meet new partners. Like you I hardly ever get to go out. However I have no intentions of having more children but would love to meet someone special. There are some lucky ladies on here who have children and have meet new partners. I guess the answer is to get out there but with unfortunately i have no free babysitters close by and a night out is an expensive exercise. But things will change soon.... i can so feel it!! Got to be positive. Anyway will be checking out the advice anyone gives on here too. Good luck to us lol ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 9:09pm
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oh am i so agree about kids not seeing their parents with new b/fs or g/fs all the time. I truely think it can be damaging to a child to ppl just passing thru and like you said stability is so important ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 9:33pm
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Hrmmm... well I'm not really qualified to comment on this yet but still have the same fears.
I'm a solo Mum (with no biological father for my child in sight) but I have a boyfriend. He has a lot of contact with Hannah, but that is more so due to the fact that he was a good friend before he became my boyfriend so I'm not too worried about that as even if we don't work out then I'm sure we will still remain good friends. And even if it is bitter, Hannah is still young enough that it shouldn't have a lasting effect. I never thought I'd find anyone. And it wasn't even a matter of getting out. It was a friend who became more than that. I think friendship is an important basis for a relationship. (I am going somewhere with this) So instead of going out to look for a relationship, perhaps there is more merit in looking for friendship? It's how it worked for me!!! - Oh and sad married ladies ... more goss for ya... Zeke said he loved me  Ahhh he's so cute!
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 9:41pm
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Oooooohhhhhhh Zeke luvs Nikki Zeke luvs Nikki Zeke and Nikki sittin in a tree PMSL sorry Nikki i am just being a silly girl tonight ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 9:45pm
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lol Becs! You are a nutter
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 9:50pm
 Thanx lol------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 10:58pm
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yeah your right nikki - startin out at friends is a great basis. will work on that theory and see how i go lol
------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 22 November 2005 at 11:00pm
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oh and the whole meeting ppl out things not really my cup of tea either but i do like to go and have a boogey with my girls. i like the idea of meeting someone thru my friends then you have a heads up already on what they are like ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 8:12am
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Well, I met Nathaniel when Kiya was 6 months old... we met through church... one of those "I know who he/she is" type of things, but we didn't actually have a conversation until then. Kiya's bio father hasn't even met her, having broken up with me while I was pregnant.
We clicked straight away, but he had a girlfriend (ironically enough, someone I'd known growing up!) and so we were only friends for ages. His relationship wasn't the best, and as it ended we both began acknowledging that there was a lot more than just friendship between us. We began dating when Kiya was 1, she already adored him and called him Uncle Nat. When we got engaged, Kiya was 2.5. Nathaniel asked her if he could be her daddy, and she said "Yes. Can I be your daughter?" Nathaniel was crying as he hugged her and told her she could. It was so sweet! Kiya started calling Nathaniel "Daddy" out of the blue about 3 months before our wedding. Nathaniel was freaked! We encouraged her to keep calling him Uncle Nat until right before the wedding - gave him a chance to get used to the idea! Kiya was our flower girl when we got married. She was nearly 3. http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
We were friends first, and that worked really well for us. Nathaniel is the only dad Kiya knows, although she does know that he didn't make her in my tummy. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 8:27am
Oh that is so beautiful! I love the photo too...
 Nikki ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 8:32am
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My Mum gave Kiya this hideous bright orange and yellow container of bubble mix. She picked that one because it was spillproof... but we have NO photos of Kiya from the day when she's not holding it and smiling! It was either yukky container and she'd smile lots, or no container and she'd sulk! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 11:03am
Ah I love your story Becca! I could hear it a million times and still have a stupid grin on my face! 
I discourage the whole 'Uncle Zeke' thing. It kinda freaks me out a little. Zeke gets down about it as his flatties get to be Uncle Tim and Uncle Hamish while he is just Zeke. hehe |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 11:27am
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All my friends are 'Uncle' or 'Aunty', so it was pretty natural for Nathaniel to be one as well. In fact, his ex was "Aunty Becka" for a while! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 11:29am
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Becca that is soooo lovely!!
And Nikki!!! Yay for you!!! in lurrrrvvvveee!
Kelly, good on you for not parading a whole range of "uncles" through Caitlyns life. I don't have any tips, I'm afraid! I was a chronically single party gal before I met Rod... ( we all know what that means, wild oats and all..) ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 11:35am
| Becca, don't get me wrong, have no objections to it for most people but Zeke didn't have a whole lot to do with Hannah before we got together and it seems weird to be starting the whole Uncle thing now! Especially when 'Uncle Zeke' sleeps in mummy's bed and gets Hannah up in the mornings |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 11:42am
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I completely understand, Nikki! I was just clarifying why Nat was an 'uncle' at first, that's all. Sorry if I annoyed you. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 12:53pm
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I wasn't annoyed at all... I was just hoping that I didn't offend you
My post was meant to kinda be a backtrack/apology. Damn ambiguity in posts! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 2:15pm
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Nikki's in looooove! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 2:48pm
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Nah, Emma... Zeke's in love, Nikki's over the moon! hehehe... ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 3:10pm
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Ah, thats so damn cute!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 3:55pm
| we are all sad married ladies huh!!!! Poor Nikki..(dammit, no "kissy kissy" marks) |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 23 November 2005 at 4:22pm
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Awww Nikki!!
------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 24 November 2005 at 9:12pm
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thanks so much for your stories guys theyve given me lots of hope!
i promise when i meet mr right u guys will be the first to know!!!
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Posted By: purpledragon
Date Posted: 29 November 2005 at 4:24pm
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Hi there.
I understand your situation very well and after a few failed attempts at a relationship after being married, I have found my MR right. We met through a internet dating service and I was after someone who had children and understood where I was coming from. We dated for a while and then at 5 or 6mths moved in together as we were pretty much living in each others houses anyway. He was only a year younger than me and had a daughter he was raising from a previous marriage. We have now been together nearly 2 half years, have a 10mth old daughter together and we are getting married next year in Raratonga. We have normal issues to do with the kids and sometimes our children are so similar you would think they came from the same parents anyway. The issues with ex's has got better over a short period of time and we are just so glad that all our children and step parents get along. The only thing I do suggest if you ever meet your Mr Wonderful again is make sure you have the same ideas on how to raise the children, whether they be yours or his as this can cause problems in future. I have read on a lot of web sites to do with step parenting, these kind of issues. Good luck in your journey in finding your own Mr Right, he is out there somewhere. ------------- Tania & Les Nicholas 18 Vaughn 15 Lisa 10 Tara 5yrs Gestational Surrogate for couple in Whakatane Egg collection week of 4th Oct Embryo transfer week of 11th Oct |
Posted By: Angelme
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 12:03pm
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Yeah being an older single mum (39 now ouch) I have used the internet dating thing, admittedly have made a few friends, plus also met some right drongos lol. I have decided on a single life, dealing with three special needs children, I have little time for me as it is. And then moving to Aus in 18 months time well no-one is going to stand in my way. I have too many goals to achieve. ------------- Cheers Angel NZ Single Parents http://www.nzsingleparents.com - www.nzsingleparents.com |
Posted By: purpledragon
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 2:03pm
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Good on you Angel. How exciting to be going to Australia especially on your own. I take my hat off to you, it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job doing the best you can by your kids and I am sure your Mr Wonderful will come along soon enough to reward you for your hard work. In my experience, it took me 10yrs to find my Mr Wonderful, the good ones are worth waiting for.
All the best for you future. ------------- Tania & Les Nicholas 18 Vaughn 15 Lisa 10 Tara 5yrs Gestational Surrogate for couple in Whakatane Egg collection week of 4th Oct Embryo transfer week of 11th Oct |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 02 December 2005 at 8:14am
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We have talked about this before and there are a few of us on this site that met their hubby/partner on the internet!! I always thought I was the only one (admittedly it wasn't on a singles site or anything as I wasn't looking, it just happened). It does work too though!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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