discipline
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1217
Printed Date: 19 December 2024 at 3:45pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: discipline
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: discipline
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 9:54am
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Jake is one year old and getting naughty. We are at Mums and there are some things he's allowed to touch, and somethings he can't. He will purposely go over to the things he can't touch, and look at me. then he will touch them. I say "jake, don't touch please. come over here and play with this". he keeps touching. Then i go over and take it off him, and he goes to the next thing that he knows he can't touch.
I always say "good boy wfor playing with your toys" when he actually plays with things he's allowed to. We spend lots of time together. I have no idea about how to discipline a one year old!!! Any ideas?? |
Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 10:34am
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he's just testing the waters, waiting for reactions from you - sounds to me like he has reached another milestone... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 11:03am
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With Alex I have been giving him three chances & then he is off to his cot for 5 minutes for time out. Basically he gets told "NO" three times then he goes in his cot if he continues doing it. I tell him why he is being put in his cot (I'm pretty sure he understands more than he can speak) and then go & set my egg timer. Then when the time is up I go get him, put him in front of his toy basket & play with him for 5 minutes before going back to my housework or what ever else I was doing.
I have found it usually takes 2 goes before he figures out what stuff he isn't allowed to touch but he is forever finding new things to get into. Also he is so attracted to the toilet that I have given up on time out for that & just keep the door shut. He doesn't seem bothered by the timeout, just sits in his cot cuddling his lion until I come & get him. I know its not everyone's idea for discipline but it works for me. I think you need to pick everyone's brains on their methods & then pick one that your comfy with. The main thing is just being consistant. I have trouble with my fiancee letting Alex get away with blue murder!! Lol & thats the end of my novel :-p ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 11:31am
| I was thinking the cot thing too, but at the moment he is having trouble getting to sleep without crying. All the changes recently have really disrupted him...so I don't want him to see the cot, or going to bed as a punishment. the worst thing is, he KNOWS what he can and can't touch. It's not a case of him misunderstanding, it's just getting a reaction. grrrrrr. booo milestones!! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 11:45am
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Were Jake and Alex born the same day? ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 12:04pm
i had a chat to plunket and paft and they suggested to me time out in a neutral place so i put the boys in the bathroom unless they have both done something at the sametime then one goes into their room which i really try to avoid as their room is mean to be a positive safe place for them . also the amount of time for time out that they suggested was one minute for each year old they are as they told me too long and they forget what they are being punished for. so for jake one minute should be fine. also the other thing i did with the boys when they were that young is if i didnt want them to play with stuff i just put it up high or out of the way. saved alot stress. i understand some ppl like their kids to learn but with the 2 of them it was amost an impossible mission. and also you mum may not want her home moved around but maybe you ask her if she would mind. hope thisd helps and good luck ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 12:23pm
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My step-nephew is 3 and his mum puts him in the bathroom or time out - it works well but I wouldn't do it with Arna as she knows how to climb in the bath and turn the tap on and it defects the purpose me standing there watching to see if shes safe!
When she touches things like the stereo etc I say no, get down to her level and say "you kow you are not allowed to touch that" - she usually gives me the bottom lip so I put her in the middle of the floor (where its safe) and walk away for a few minutes. Haha she is being my vacum cleaner at the moment - if you saw my other post how she got into the hundred and thousand biscuits, well she got the packet opened it turned it upside down and is now eating the hundreds and thousands off the floor... *off to do some vaccuming!* Good Luck Liz - Prob doesn't help being at your mum's and not at "home"! ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 1:16pm
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I would put Kiya in her cot or on her bed for time out. Now, we have a "naughty stool" - a big piece of flat wood - that is in a disused entrance way, so she goes there. Remember - warnings are necessary! if only so YOU know he definitly knows better! Warnings were the only thing keeping my sanity some days when it seemed I was forever putting Kiya into time out. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 1:39pm
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yeah the warnings really work once they get the hang of it - my warning is to tell not to do what they are doing then i count to 3 usually by the time i get to 2 they have stopped so i tell them good boys for listening to mama. if they continue off they go to time out. i had a mat i used as their time out mat but the boys just didnt stay there which is why its now the bathroom (the only room in the hse that boring to them) ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 2:47pm
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jack has also just passed this 'milestone'! i tell him 'no don't touch' and then when he does it again i get down to his level and tell him if he does it again he's going on the naughty stool. 9\10 times he does it again so i put him on the stool for 1min then explain why afterwards and give him a hug.
basically, doing what supernanny does  lol
------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 3:07pm
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i think with gabriel when he was at that stage i would just say no and redirect him... never used time out then - a couple of times when his dad yelled NO he got a fright and hasnt touched that thing again and sometimes he would get a tap over the hand after a warning that he would get a smacked hand if he touched it again. we still dont really do time out... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 3:21pm
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Xanders time out is behind the couch(theres a gap between the windows and back of couch) facing the back of the couch (so hes not looking outside at interesting things)as its the only place in the whole house that he cant find something to do lol. Hes been ther 3 timessince we introduced it to him a month or so ago ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 01 December 2005 at 5:00pm
really 3 times in a month - i started it just after they turned 2 and i have to say keegs can be in there 3 times within 15 min!!!! but it does work if not the first time then at least by the 2nd or 3rd time------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 02 December 2005 at 8:18am
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i watched supernanny last night, and I can say thank god jake isn't like those kids!!!! yet...
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 02 December 2005 at 9:35am
did anyone see it last week? (i think) i pissed myself when the little girl was on the naughty chair and her mum said her friends weren't allowed to come over anymore and she replied quickly...'that's ok i don't like them anyway!'
------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 December 2005 at 12:00am
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lol, I saw that. Damn manipulative little mongrels.
With Hannah I haven't used time out yet. She seems a bit young for it. I might start when she understands a bit more. (Hmm maybe she's slow?? )
I use a technique that my ECE friend taught me. (It does require a bit of patience and determination tho!) If Hannah touches something she isn't allowed then I ask her not to touch it, if she continues to touch it then I move her and tell her not to touch it. If she does it again then I move her without saying anything (and insert distraction here). Usually it takes to the 2nd or 3rd step, but I repeat the 3rd step if she is being particularly fiddly. Kelly always laughs when Hannah is determined to get whatever she is forbidden to touch - "You are going to get sick of this much sooner than I am!" |
Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 05 December 2005 at 7:11am
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I put Quinn in time out. He gets asked once not to do whatever he is doing wrong, the a warning and then i put him in the hall facing the shut toilet/bathroom door for about a minute. I used to put him in his cot but didn't want to build up a bad association there, and also I'd put him in his cot and he'd think it was fun!!
It took a couple of tries to get him to stay in his spot, and I am still not sure he really understands the punishment but he is much better behaved when he gets out. Usually his punishment is for hitting, which I find he does when he gets too hyped up playing so the timeout gives him a chance to settle down. ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 05 December 2005 at 5:19pm
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you said he knows not to touch it...does he know why?
i know hes only one but they can understand more than we give them credit for....even something like if u touch it and it breaks nana will be sad. Its natural for him to want to touch things hes not supposed to-dont worry he'll get the idea soon enuf as far as time out goes i use this method but i go by the minute per age rule eg caitlyns 3and a half so she goes in the toilet for 3and a half minutes and when she comes out she still has to apologize (which she always does) and i give her a hug and say thankyou for saying sorry,so far its working havent had to put her in t/o for bout a month now |