Getting motivated?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12920
Printed Date: 30 November 2024 at 12:33pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Getting motivated?
Posted By: Kellz
Subject: Getting motivated?
Date Posted: 12 December 2007 at 12:53pm
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I would love some sugestions on how to start digging my way out of my rut!
Im still on meds, but have stopped counselling and no longer have homehelp due to moving towns. I dunno if the meds are doing all the should be. I feel blah a lot, but am getting out and about and have bitten the bullet( so to speak) and been out to some social events (Isla orientated), and have made a group of really nice friends here already (thanks again to the lovely emmaohara!). But when its just me and Isla at home, I find I have no desire or motivation to do anything. I have always been a procrastinator, and never liked housework much,... but its the other things, like keeping in contact with family and friends, preparing for christmas, doing crafts, baking...things I used to enjoy, that I cant be bothered with. I think maybe having some sort of commintment/responsibility like voluteer work or helping out at playgroup etc may help me, but them im worried it will be too much. How much of this is laziness? personality? or PND?! Who knows?! P.S- Im a mega worry wart by nature! |
Replies:
Posted By: aussiemum
Date Posted: 28 December 2007 at 11:44pm
| Oh I'm so much like you Kellz! I don't have any suggestions but just letting you know, you're not alone! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 29 December 2007 at 7:00am
| Yeah im the exctly same. At home i just sit on the couch and watch whats going on around me. No answers though sorry. Im still on meds and its helping the anxiety a little and the moods but not the lack of motivation. It has helped the blah feeling though so maybe that is a sign its something to do with the meds for you cos i would think they should stop that. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 December 2007 at 1:49pm
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Do you like lists? I'm going to try and write a list of things I want to achieve each day one DH leaves. I'm thinking of starting them really small (maybe one or two things on there) and building it up. And if at the end of the week I achieve everything on my list then I am going to treat me. I'm still on the meds, and will be for a while so don't worry too much about that. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: aussiemum
Date Posted: 06 January 2008 at 9:47am
| Hi Ladies, hope everyone is feeling more motivated! For some reason I am, and I've been walking! Woohoo! |
Posted By: michsal
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 11:42am
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I find reading books(such as in the garden/balcony) help me a lot. It is calming relaxing and sorting out some of mixed feelings/thoughts. One great point I remember from a book is that you don't have to do a lot to make you feel good, most importantly is do anything you really enjoy(do not worry whether it is productive or not).
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 2:34pm
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Hi everyone! Last time I checked I hadnt had a single reply! Its good to know Im not alone!
We have spent the last 10 days away visiting my family, got back Sun night. Then DH started back at work on Mon. I got really motivated yesterday, and achieved loads of things around the house! Not so much today, but no sitting and wallowing! Yay! Feeling quite proud of myself. My meds were doubled 2 weeks ago, so that must have something to do with it. Also I have an appt to see a counsellor next Mon, so I know Im getting some more help soon. Have lived here 3 months now, and havent seen anyone,...was having weekly counselling plus 3 hrs homehelp a week prior to moving. Hows everyone else doing? ETA- Good on you for walking Aussiemum! I know that excercise will help,...but I get anxious about going cos Isla hates the buggy! Think I will start by going only a very short distance! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 9:34pm
Woohoo Kellz, glad to hear you are feeling better! Girl, you just need you a big as spade to dig yourself on out of that rut, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing! Still gutted at missing you in Auck, but you did promise to come up for Maya's birthday and my anatomy scan in Feb... -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:15am
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I can relate to this >.< Now that DF has holidays (he's studying) He manages to help motivate me to get out and do stuff, even if it's just going for a walk to the park/beach/town every day. I find if I miss one day of doing something, I find it twice as hard to do something the next day =/ I don't know what I'm going to do when he goes back to tech. I've never been very good around people, and I've drifted apart from all my old friends since I fell pregnant with Seb. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 12:13pm
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I have found it essentail to my mental well being to make a big effort to get out and meet people. Now that I have Isla, I find it way easier than pre-Isla, when your places to meet people are limited! Now i just turn up at baby activties! Lol! I have made great irl friends from Oh Baby too! You should check out the next Welly Ohbaby meet-up! I have been to several in Auck, rotorua, tauranga,...and even travelled to Palmy to meet up with the lovely ladies there! I never would have dremed I would do anything like that before I had Isla!
I find that I need to have a plan, a list of things I need to know,...but when I was really lacking motivatio I made a list at the end of the day of everything I had dome that day, as I found it was better to see a list of what I had achieved, even if it was just a few things, rather than a huge lists of things I thought I should have done in the day, with nothing crossed off! |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 12:22pm
I've been to one welly meet up  It was fun, I hope I didn't scare them too much with my weird reclusive ways
I tried taking him to a playgroup late last year... but there were just too many people, and I felt really uncomfortable. I spent the whole time running around the place chasing Seb, making sure he didn't eat the big kids playdough or lego, or the sand from the sand pit... or steal other kids shoes LOL and it was a big building. One thing - this site is awesome! I used to use the huggies (Aus/NZ) forums... and I got put off so many times by so many catty people  it was like high school all over again. There was rarely a thread in sight without some fight going on. I am so glad I found Oh Baby!-------------
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 12:35pm
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Yeah I found that with other paernting forums too, and the Aussie ones didnt really apply when I was preg, cos their health system seems so different to ours.
Good on you for going to a meetup! You could try taking Seb to a mainly music group. Lots of churchs run them, and some have limited numbers -like 12 max, and I have found them good! Massive groups put me off too! |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 12:58pm
Aussie system is pretty crap! (sorry if that offends anyone ) I can't believe midwives aren't publically funded. It seems so crazy.
Wow just noticed you're in Gizzy - really feel for you now  It's really hot down here - typical gizzy summer weather (which is rare in welly) so I'm guessing it's horrid up there! I lived in Gis for nearly 5 years before I moved out of home, my mum and sister are still up there. I hated it as a teenager, but I guess it's not such a bad place to keep little kids entertained - awesome beaches and some nice parks. What area do you live in? (if you don't mind me asking)-------------
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Kellz wrote:Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 10:54pm
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Um nothing is funded in OZ thats why you have to have health insurance. And you are so right about the Huggies forum very catty. How have you been Kellz, if you want to come for a drive down this way and stay a few nights, i'm sure we could put you up this time. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 11:40pm
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Kellz sounds like you are doing really well. I hope your counselling session goes well!! Alia it was great meeting you adn hope to see you this Friday ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 11 February 2008 at 11:52am
Sorry I havent checked on here for a while! We live in Mangapapa, not far from the hospital. Yeah it still is MEGA hot here at the moment! Was 22 degress at 7am! Arghh! Well Ive been having a real rough few weeks, had hoped I was getting better, but I started to feel worse and worse,...then an argument last fri night was the last straw, and I ended up in ED then on the Physch ward for the night. There has been good come from it tho. I am now getting good professional help, DH's family now know about the PND and being very supportive- both practically and finacially (MIL paid for me to get my hair done too! Yay!). Isla is starting in daycare today, just 2 afternoons a week, and the inlaws are gonna have her wed dayand night. Yay! |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 February 2008 at 12:49pm
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Awwww Kellz not good, but i'm glad they know now and they will be helping you out. Remember we will have you for a few nights down here in Palmy anytime you want to get away. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 11 February 2008 at 1:08pm
| Thanks Becks! A holiday sounds great! Not just yet, but will definatley think about it! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 February 2008 at 2:51pm
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Yay Kellz, good to see you back! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 11 February 2008 at 3:32pm
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Thanks! Im down,...but not out! You cant kill weeds
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 February 2008 at 3:35pm
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Teehee ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Cheche
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 7:30pm
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Mummy_becks has got it right...
having a list of tasks for the day can be really helpful for motivation :). But don't wait till that day to write it (some mornings I wake up without enough motivation to even write a list), choose a time when you're feeling good and make a schedule for the whole week. I read some great tips about what to include each day: - something that will bring a sense of accomplishment. - something that will bring a sense of enjoyment. - something involving others you enjoy being around. That way you go to bed looking forward to the next day (hopefully a little more) and wake up knowing exactly what you've got to do. Also when you're writing you're schedule just pretend you're not depressed, even if it's just for the moment. Hope that helps! PS I relate to everyone who's written here and it's a big relief to know I'm not alone in this. |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:11pm
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Cheche's checklist of things to do each day was a good one from when I was depressed. Just make them small milestones though, like sense of accomplishment, doing some chore... not like spring cleaning the whole house. Unless you really feel you can do it. Make sure you force yourself to do all three every day, even if you really don't want to. Even if you really can't be bothered and are dreading doing something, even your "enjoyment" task... just start doing it even if you feel like you will hate it. Because 9 times out of 10 you will end up enjoying it once you have gotten started, plus you will feel a sense of accomplishment for being able to tick it off your checklist, and it will make you feel heaps more motivated. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |