Why did I get married?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14322
Printed Date: 24 February 2025 at 10:49am
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Topic: Why did I get married?
Posted By: my4beauties
Subject: Why did I get married?
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:06pm
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For the first time in a long time, I managed to watch Oprah today and that was the topic: Why did I get married.
I had never asked myself that, sort of stumped me really, as I was so young & naive. I only knew that I loved this guy & had never felt that way about any other guy & knew in my heart he was the one & wanted him to be my husband & protector. So I guess that's my answer. So why did you get married? ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:13pm
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i really dont know either!
all i know is that now things are 10x better, and i love him even more than before. so i guess thats my answer! i couldnt be happier. ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:15pm
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Well. I'd love to say someting shocking like 'for a green card' but that's a lie.
We got married because we love each other and intend to spend the rest of our lives together. We'd lived together since we met 5 years earlier (literally, we were actually flatmates) so getting married was not just the obvious next step but also an opportunity to officially promise each other in front of God and our family that we would be with each other forever. For people who have been living together as a couple marriage changes nothing (moving in, merging accounts etc is already done) and at the same time it changes everything (there's a subconscious security I think). ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:19pm
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It definitely made me feel different being married. I had a totally different view on things, I had more respect for him now that he was my husband. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:29pm
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I had to answer this question for DH at the time - he didn't want to get married, but I did. I am not really too sure, we are not religious, but I think I wanted the security and the affirmation of our love for each other. I insisted on being married before having kids, but don't have anything against other people not doing the same.
I am glad we did it, and now we don't have to worry anymore about it... Also, I love being able to call him my husband and know that I am someones wife... It made a difference to me and our relationship - soemthing deeper I think ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:31pm
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I don't think much will change for me and Mike when we get married - we already trust each other completely, have been living together for nearly 3 years, and survived parenthood together so far, joint account, bills and all that - Both of my parents have been in defacto relationships (not with each other!) for over 10 years, I can't see either of them ever getting married, but that's not to say the way they live is any different to a married couple. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:33pm
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I got married because I love and adore my DH and I wanted us to be a family.
To me it's like a greater sense of calm if that makes any sense 
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Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:36pm
| Oh and I should also add that one of the biggest reasons that I love and adore him so much is because he has become so close to my grandparents who I'm extremely close to. When he first met my grandparents he hit it off with my grandad straight away and bugged me afterwards to organise more visits. And he said he wants to be just like my grandad coz all us girls give him a kiss when we arrive and leave. |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:54pm
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I was like you Italiah (but not so young) I love him to bits and know he's the one without a doubt in my mind. Never felt like that before even when I "knew" I was "in love".
But as you know we got hitched all of a sudden 17 days before Tom arrived so I like to say it was a severe case of "nesting" and wanting everything just so! 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 4:18pm
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For us it was love at first sight. The minute he walked into my office 8 years ago I knew that I was going to marry him.
He's my best friend, and he knows me better than anyone. I love him to bits. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Katherine
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 4:42pm
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Hee hee... That's the reason I got married! |
The_Stuarts wrote:Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:25pm
For us, I told DH I'd only wait for him while he went to Afghanistan for 5 months if there was a promise that he wanted to take it further. We'd only been together 2 months by then, but he said 'yeah, I wanna marry you and make babies with you!'. So I never gave it another thought and hoped it would come true, but you never know. Anyway, he kept his part of the deal 
The biggest reason why I love DH being my husband is we have so much fun together, whether by ourselves, with our family or with our friends and that is one of the most important things to me. I love wrestling with him, playfighting and tickling, makes me feel like a kid again. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:29pm
| im not married...but just had to say Italiah! when i first read the title of this post i thought it was a rhetorical question and you were having marital problems, very glad to see thats not the case! |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:42pm
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For us the reason we got married was, we had been together for 6 years and were totally in love, we lived our lifes to the absolute fullest pre marriage/babies, spent far too much money on partying, drinking and travelling the world and decided we better settle down get married and have babies! So we did! We had already talked about getting married years ago, so after 6 years the time was about right for us!
Within two weeks of us getting engaged, about 4 couples that are friends of ours followed suit and we all got married within a month or two of one another! By the way Dh and I have been friends since we were 5, so we kind of know each other pretty damn well I would think ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:45pm
LMAO I was going to be cheeky and say that Katherine got married for her green card ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: ItchyFeet
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:46pm
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We had the private commitment, I just wanted it to be made public i.e. that this was the person I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I wanted to make that promise in front of my friends and family. It makes it much more binding than a private commitment. Also gave us both an extra sense of security that this is really it, it's for life etc. I believe in the saying you don't marry the one you can live with, you marry the one you can't live without.
Also, I want to spend the rest of my life acknowledging it's a formal relationship e.g. say "my husband" instead of my partner. For me, DH is not only my husband, but my best friend, the one I trust completely, the one who knows me better than anyone, and still likes me. As the Bridget Jones story goes, he tells me he likes me "just the way you are". And he genuinely means it. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:48pm
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Oh and the reason why I got married? I didn't! Willie and I have been together 9 years in May (on and off at the beginning, we split for 18 months when Maya was a baby) and have three(and a half) kids, we got engaged in 2005 and started planning a wedding but then decided to have another baby instead and three years on we're still no closer to getting married, and to be honest I'm not sure if we ever will. It's just not that important to me at the moment. We are committed to each other and our family and that's the important thing. Of course priorities might change again in the future and we might go mad and get hitched, who knows?! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:59pm
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I must admit Kelly that's the same thing i thought too at first, nice to see it's the complete oppostie indeed.
This is an awesome idea for a post! We're not married yet, but i must say, When we first got engaged all those years ago, we were too young, realllllly too young, we often agree that had we actually gotten married back then, it possibly would not have lasted. We have had to go through a hell of alot in the last few years, which had brought us together, stronger and stronger each thing that gets thrown at us, we've grown together, become like 1 person. For us, we get people saying "but why get married?" and it's like you say Jo, that it changes nothing, and changes everything at the same time. It's not just the next step - like it kinda was back when we first thought of it. Now it's really about cementing our family together, giving us all the same name, our ceremony is for the kids too. So, why get married.. lol why not?
Nah i love him to bits, It probably sounds cheesy, but it's like there was a piece of the jigsaw missing and now there isn't. I rushed to see my granfather when he was dying, and watching him and my nana together, he knew he was going, she knew she was loosing him and the love i saw between them was like no other i have seen, but i know that give us 60yrs and we'll be there, we're on the road... for my older sister who has just divorced, she saw the same in them, and it made her realise that she never had that, it made her sad that she had just married cos it was the next thing you do.  ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:25pm
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one thing my husband and I had always agreed on was that we weren't not going to have children before we were married. We were together for almost 7 years before we got hitched. I had always said I wanted at least 1 baby before I was 35.
we got married when we were 28 and have been married for just over 3 years. so why did I get married simply because I love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I love being married and feel more secure in our relationship now that we are :) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:31pm
| mum2paris you nearly made me cry |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:57pm
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Me too, ok a couple of tears actually leaked out. That is so lovely Janine.
I can't really add anything different to what most people have said, I married Stu because I love him and could not imagine living the rest of my life without him. Being with him just feels right, he feels like home (hope that makes sense ??!). We were together for 6 years before we got married and as someone said previously, while nothing changed, everything did. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:03pm
Theese are all so sweet   ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Rachel75
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:23pm
| Doubledee, I have to agree my husband feels like home. Even when I get angry or over it & take off to the park to read my book lol - I get such a feeling of relief to come back & see him there (it's the same with my kids too). |
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:45pm
Haha Kelly, I wondered how many people might think that .
Nah, DH & I are ALL good! Actually I asked my DH this question as well today. This was his response: "Because you were sooo pretty & you didn't agitate me like other girls did, and because you were so hot & sexy & cos I could have a proper conversation with you". Haha, totally different to my to what I was expecting! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 10:01pm
I just *knew* my DH was the one and only for me, it just seemed the natural next step to formalise a commitment etc. I'm so glad I did. And I love him heaps [:L] It will be our 5th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks  ------------- |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 10:35pm
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So I could get more jewellery ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 11:05pm
haha Jenz a girl can never have too much jewellery 
I put this at the top of my wedding invites cause I thought it said it all: "This day I will marry my best friend, The one I laugh with, live for, love" DP and I only met just over a year ago and knew we would marry within a week of meeting, and I would have scoffed if anyone had said I would get married soon 
I can't wait for our wedding, even though we already live together because it is a public confirmation before our friends and family of our commitment and love for each other and to our little family. Yeah cheesy I know ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Alisa
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 11:18pm
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Hi Jaxs, we were much the same, got together in Oct, knew we'd marry in Nov, annouced to family in Jan and married following Oct and its been two years now and its awesome. I'd loved a handful of men previously but nothing came close to the way I felt about DH. When he met my father, Dad was sick (alzheimers) and Dad was laying on the floor of his hospital room on a mattress and there was nothing about my father then that resembled the man he once was. My sister and I were really upset and this was the first time DH met Dad and he simply knelt beside my Dad, held his hand and said, Mr P.... I am really honoured to be able to meet you.
I just broke down and cried. A) cos my father I knew was lost to me and b) that this man I intended to marry showed my father so much respect in such terrible conditions. It just confirmed for me what I already knew. He was my soul mate and that we'd get married. ooohhh sorry for such a long ramble. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 08 February 2008 at 11:35pm
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Before I met DH I had decided that the next person I have anything to do with I wanted it to be forever. I was over going out and partying every week, getting drunk and hooking up with some random every weekend. He also had the same feelings and it was good to meet him when I did. I also think that had I met him while at school I don't think I would have given him the time of day (just who I was at high school - think all girls snotty school) so I am glad I didn't meet him till after school. At our wedding DH said in his speech the first time he saw me he knew I was for him and one day he would marry me - he had never said this to me ever so it was lovely to say on our wedding day, and I got tears in my eyes. So why did I marry him?? I knew he was for me, we have had our ups and downs and we are still there now 6 years on and married for 2. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 3:15am
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Awww Janine, you almost made me cry too So sweet.
My DH is my best friend, and he has been since before we got together. I love that we have so much fun together and still manage to find things to talk about after 8 years. We were already living together when we got married, but things just felt different - I like the committment, makes me feel safe. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 8:27am
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Well with only 5 weeks to go until our wedding day I should be able to answer this question easily.
For me the wedding is all about making a public commitment to each other in front of our families and thats why its important, its not just about DF and me its about us and our families, for me being husband and wife is important. Defacto sounds temporary to me, and I wanted DF to make a commitment to me that has meaning. We love each other of course and getting married cements that and our commitment to each other, theres no divorce for us. Also getting married is about having a family of our own, even after 7 years of living together and having our own house I feel more secure having children within the bonds of marriage. Turns out I'm more traditional when it comes to family. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 1:52pm
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Because I love him and we have loads of fun together. Because we agree on the important stuff. Because I knew he'd be a terrfic dad. Because he makes me feel better about life and the universe. Because I could see us getting old together and it's a future I didn't want to miss. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 4:25pm
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I knew Peter was the man I wanted to marry the first day that I met him too. He was the total opposite of what I thought I wanted but in being that was totally perfect. I remember not wanting to say goodbye to him at the end of our first meeting and feeling a real emptiness when he left as I knew he should be staying with me.
In 8 years of being together (5 years married) I have never lost this feeling. I miss him when he is not with me. Every morning when he goes to work, I can't wait until he is home again. I still get butterflies of excitement when I know I am about to see him! He is the first person I have EVER been just me with. He knows all of me and STILL loves me no matter what. He is an amazing father and lover and my best friend. How could I not marry this man? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 4:28pm
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Becasue I love him and it was the next step for us it was also a rushed wedding as we knew his Mum was not going to around for ever to I fully believe that it changed our whole relationship I can't explain how I guess it is alot to do with the God stuff for me I was detertimed that the man I gave myself to was my husband and of course he was not at the time so I made a descion that we were going to work and get married unlike other people I don't believe he was the "ONE". I am not sure I believe in the "ONE" I beleve God brought us togther for reason's outside of our control and we have chosen to make it work.
He is a loving caring husband who will do anything for me And I for him. we just work ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 4:57pm
| because I loved him and we are going on a cruise this year for our 30th anniversry in May and then hopefully we will look forward to a marriage one day for our daughter Kelly(caitlynsmygirl) reading these will hopefully have been good for you |
Posted By: Karysta
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 5:49pm
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hrm not sure Im qualified to answer this yet... we've been married a week ;) (together 6 years).
Hes an amazing father, takes me and all my paranoia and occasional hysteria - and is grounded to my flightyness! |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 09 February 2008 at 6:51pm
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Simple reason we loved each other.
We could have just stayed together I guess and not get married but both of us wanted our kids to have the security that we are together for the long haul I suppose. And both of us only wanted to start our family after we got married. Seeing I am a SAHM as well it gives me just more rights in the eyes of the law and if anything ever happens to him or me it is easier for the other party to make choices for you as well instead of having to go through courts and prove relationship ect. But really it is simply because we loved each other and wanted to confirm our love. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: alexbabe
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 2:06pm
| me and DH met through a his flatmate in april, discovered we had a connection, august of that year he proposed and in september we got married. we will be married 3yrs in september. I just new he was the man for me and it just felt right, i remeber dh making a comment on night-i we had both fallen asleep on his bed while watching a movie(of all the movies it was the little mermaid) and the next morning, he said for the first time in his life he could sleep and be comfortable with the person next to him, cause all the other past women he had-somehow sleeping next to them never felt right. |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 2:27pm
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Well, for us it was a mixture of everything really: Love, public comitment, friendship etc etc
We met when i was 17 years old but i knew that i was mean to marry this guy. I love him more than anything in this world so far. He has supported me through my tough times and i have supported him through our tough times, though im not completely convinced that we have actually had any REAL tough times yet. Its the fact that i know we have some tough times coming and I want to be there to hold his hand, rub his back. When we had the wedding that was about our families. The marriage is about US. Its about support, love, frinedship, learning... ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 2:51pm
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sometimes I wonder why, too. Damn moody men. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 3:49pm
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For tax reasons!
In Ireland you get extra tax free allowance if you're married. hehe!
Also 'defacto partnerships' are not recogonised in Ireland. Honestly though it was the most logical step for us. We didn't live together beforehand but knew it was either travel first or get married first. So we did the wedding thing to show our commitment to each other and our family and friends. We knew we'd get married eventually so decided the sooner the better to get the hassle/stress of the day over and done with
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Posted By: Hardisson262712
Date Posted: 24 May 2021 at 7:10pm
| Sadly, but I still doens't even have a girlfriend. |