Quietly Greiving
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Stillbirth and Baby Loss
Forum Description: A place to support each other and share thoughts and memories after a stillbirt or the loss of a baby.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14433
Printed Date: 12 December 2024 at 2:12pm Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Quietly Greiving
Posted By: GGsMum
Subject: Quietly Greiving
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 8:02pm
Well I have read through some of the comments in the support forum and it seems that this might be a friendly place. I lost my wee Georgia Grace on 11 January 2008 to pre-eclampsia at 26 weeks gestation. Georgia is my first baby and was induced early as we were both too sick to carry one, she was born beautiful and perfect and still. At the moment I am finding life so unfair. I am now a mum with so much love for my wee girl and it doesnt seem fair that I can not hold her or kiss her. All I can do it talk to her and kiss her wee ashes box. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
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Replies:
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 8:07pm
Oh hun, big hugs to you. My BF's first baby girl was born sleeping at 41 weeks gest, and I have watched her go through so much in the last 3 years. I know there is nothing I can say to comfort you, it must ache so much to no longer have your daughter inside you, but to have empty arms. Have you been in touch with the SANDS group? They are awesoem and wonderful people who can help you with your grief.
Much love to you at this sad time.
xxx
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 8:09pm
Awww Narissa ((hugs)).
Queenbean on here had to delivery her baby girl Ava at 22 weeks and she was a stillborn. Haven't seen her since then but hopefully she will come back.
Have you been on to the lostones?? http://www.thelostones.co.nz - www.thelostones.co.nz It is a NZ site for parents that have be through this most difficult thing.
------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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Posted By: GGsMum
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 8:19pm
Thanks guys. I have been in touch with SANDS but not up to going to a meeting yet. I am back at work, I needed fill my days but can't face the real world other than that. www.thelostones.co.nz doesn't bring anything up??
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 8:27pm
Oh i don't know what to say I have tear's streaming down my face tho big hug's to you I hope you can find the support you need. Take time and be really kind to yourself. Big hug's hun.
------------- Deborah Mum to:
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 8:30pm
Try this http://thelostones.co.nz/ - http://thelostones.co.nz/ instead
------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 9:13pm
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 12 February 2008 at 10:25pm
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 12:12pm
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 1:10pm
Just wanted to give you a hug
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 1:25pm
Just wanted to send you a hug too
So very, very sorry for your loss.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 1:31pm
I'm so sorry for your loss
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Posted By: GGsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 8:54pm
Thanks everyone, I have been on the lost ones website, what unfair heart ache there is.
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 14 February 2008 at 1:02pm
I'm so sorry for your loss Narissa
------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2
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Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 14 February 2008 at 4:12pm
I'm really sorry to hear of your loss.
------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
Was danni-chick
Mum to James
My Angel 28/07/08
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 10:51am
I just wanted to give you a hug too. Sorry for your loss
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 1:33pm
How are you doing, hun?
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 15 February 2008 at 3:00pm
I'm so sorry
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 February 2008 at 7:55pm
Big hugs Narissa. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going thru, but I found The Lost Ones site after I lost our second bub to m/c at 7 weeks and they are an amazing bunch of women. I know many of them now IRL and they possess such amazing strength and have been a huge source of support to me in my subsequent pregnancies.
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Zacksmum
Date Posted: 18 February 2008 at 2:48pm
Im so sorry Narissa. I know exactly how you feel at the moment. I had twins girls at 23weeks. Zara died at 2 days old, and Shavaune tried to hang in there, but in the end gave up 3 1/2 weeks later. It has been 5 years for me, but remember and feel as tho it was yesterday. My heart goes out to you sweetie. Life is unfair, and right now you think why me? What if? mayby also a question runnin through your mind. My arms felt empty and so did my heart. Everyone copes differently, and nothing i can say to you will take away your pain, but i got thru by just taking one day at a time. Cry when you need to cry, and talk about it as much as you can. I also got comfort from knowing that some things are just meant to be, weather we like it or not, and mayby something would have been horribly wrong with my girls, and that fate or a higher power just stepped in? I still miss them every single day, but in time you learn to except what has happened and learn to live with what is...and one day when the time is right your arms will be filled.If you ever need to talk to someone i wll be here for you. You already are so strong, and your strength will grow everyday.
All my love and condolences
Shar xx
------------- hthttp://lilypie.com/pic/080413/NC3V.jpgtp://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BabyKiwi
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 7:57pm
I have just read your story, my thoughts are with you. Although I didn't lose my baby to m/c I did lose my DD Emily to cot death 10 years ago.
Just want to say hang on in there, you will get there! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Emily and now that I have another little girl, it's hard but I get through with the support from everyone!
The best piece of advice is keep your chin up and take each day as it comes. It does get to the stage where you stop thinking about them as much, they are always there.
If you want someone to talk too, drop me a message!
I wish you all the best!!
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 8:20pm
Im so sorry to hear about your beautiful baby. My friend lost her wee boy at 20 weeks, he was induced aswell and it was heartbreaking. I dont know how she survived, I know when I lost my twins at 10 weeks that was bad enough but I can tell you she has gone on to have two more wonderful children and is living a normal life. While her son is not forgotten at all and we talk about him often and what he might have been like, the heartache is now easier and its not like a punch in the stomach to think of him now. I know that wont help you now but you will get through this and my thoughts are with you.
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Posted By: Smartmum
Date Posted: 05 March 2008 at 8:35pm
------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 09 March 2008 at 10:00am
Hi, my heart goes out to you, I lost my twins at 20 weeks after finding out that I was having twins at my 19 week scan (we thought there was just one) and then found out that they were con-joined)and not a day goes by when I don't think our specal boys. We now have a 7 month old, Lachlan, and occassionally I still burst into tears looks at him and thinking what might have been. But it does get easier, I have found talking about it helps alot, if other people are uncomfortable about it that is ok, they are a part of our family and Lachie will always know that he had two big brothers. I got a ring with 2 of their birthstones in it and I see it during the day and think of them. As a family we went to a SANDS christmas service which was good and that is going to be an annual every for us and on their birthday we have a family day, last year I took a day off and so did my husband and we just spent time together and had a picnic on the beach.
Now when Lachie is into everything I think what two of him would have been like!
Please get in touch if you would like to talk
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Our con-joined boys 20 wk
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Posted By: Min
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 8:32pm
Our precious Bella-jane Rose was born sleeping on the 12th July 2007. She was my first child and only-ever pregnancy. It's hard to understand why that has to happen to anyone. How precious life is. I share your loss and my heart goes out to you and your family. What has helped me the most is always acknowledging my feelings...to cry when I am sad, to laugh when I am happy (and not feel guilty for having moments of happiness). At times I feel like there is a huge hole in my chest and that my arms should be around my baby. I am told this is normal. Bella-jane's ashes take pride of place in our bedroom and I talk to her ashes most days....My partner thinks I am crackers at times I am sure but I do know that grieving is different for everyone. There is no right or wrong. I hope my small bit of sharing helps you in someway. I have never written on a forum before...I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Kia kaha, Melinda
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 20 March 2008 at 8:16am
------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: GGsMum
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 2:07pm
Thanks everyone for all your support and kind words. I am back at work now and feeling a lot more positive about life. I still have days where all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep the days away, but push myself to get up and the day gets better. While I am still grieving for my first born daughter, I know that I will for the rest of my life, so we have now decided to TTC again. Exciting, scary, emotional. But we are as ready now as we ever will be.
Once again, thanks everyone.
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Posted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 7:00pm
Take care of yourself and good luck for the TTC, my thoughts are with you.
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Our con-joined boys 20 wk
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