How do you know...
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14783
Printed Date: 21 December 2024 at 4:18pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: How do you know...
Posted By: LittleBug
Subject: How do you know...
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 6:24pm
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... if you have PND or just baby blues?
I have had depression before (set off by doing too much and becoming exhausted on top of family probs) and was on fluox for about a year, then went off it about a year ago just before I got married. So I know what it's like to be depressed. But I am so confused at the moment, sometimes I swear that I am depressed again and feel so lost, but other times I think that maybe things are improving and I feel like I can cope a little bit. Anyway, baby Chloe was born 3 weeks ago and I still cry every afternoon and evening on a "good" day, or the whole day just about on a bad day. I was just wondering how long it took other people to get over the baby blues? I don't really want to go on meds again, I would rather try and cope on my own. I just don't know when I should let go and get some help? ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Replies:
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 7:08pm
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There's no harm in going to see your GP. In fact I think that it would be a good idea if you do. Even if it's just to have a sounding board.
------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 7:20pm
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I was like that with Han too Janey. For the first 6 weeks I was crying every day. DH was getting worried and so was I, but didnt want to do anything about it cos I wasnt really sure either. Then as things started to get easier with the baby, the crying stopped too. In hindsight I wish I had of talked to someone as those first few weeks were pretty hellish.
Are you still seeing your midwife? She should have a good idea... Big hugs to you  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 7:39pm
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Hmmmm, similar here - I was much the same for the first many, many weeks (in honesty I can't say how many because they are a blur now) after Ella's arrival. I toughed it out and in hindsight I regret choosing to deal with it that way - I wish I'd gone to talk to somone about it. I remember thinking that it'd gone on longer than I expected the 'day 3 baby blues' I'd heard about to last for... probably a sign that I should've talked more to my midwife or GP about it. So I guess, you've nothing to lose but a little pride, and a whole lot to gain if you do go talk to someone. Even if you just get a professional opinion on whether or not you're in a really bad space - I'm sure GP's get tons of mums asking them the same thing. I hope things are on the up for you soon. Be kind to yourself - it's incredibly hard work in those newborn days... you're not being a wuss for finding it so blinkin hard! But hey, any help us mums can get is a good thing, eh. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:14pm
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Thanks girlies. I might go see my Dr this week. I just feel silly going and telling her that I feel depressed when I don't really want to try medication yet.
I am just scared about the way I think sometimes. I would never hurt Chloe or anything like that, more likely to hurt myself  and I hate thinking like that because I thought I was completely over all that stuff from the past. It scares me some of the thoughts that pop into my head from nowhere just because I'm tired and having a hard time. I feel like such a failed mummy, even though my midwife and my mum and DH all say they think I'm doing a great job. I just don't seem to see where they are coming from.
I went and had a huge cry just before because my milo had milk lumps in it ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:29pm
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You may not need medication just some support. I agree with the others go and have a chat with your GP, they will be able to guide you in the right direction re support.
I for many weeks felt like a failure! I went to GP who reffered me to MMH, they assessed (sp?) me and placed me on meds, I thought I had failed....meds were the end of the line! How wrong was I, they were the boost, the pick me up that I needed! It was the best thing I could have done! Best of luck, you have done so well to get to here. It can only get better :) |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 11:14pm
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Even if your doc does think its PND you're dealing with, s/he won't prescribe you meds if you don't want to go down that path. There are plenty of other options to try and having your doc's support in place can make things a lot less daunting.
I was very similar to you after I had Ella. I cried at least daily, usually more often! When I felt like I was coping, it only took one tiny little thing to knock my confidence back again and turn me into a weepy mess. I should have accepted help from people a lot sooner than I did and I realise now how ridiculous it was to expect to just adapt and manage. Its a really huge deal, adapting to our new life as a mum. I think I went into a state of shock after Ella was born and as much as I wouldn't change her for anything, I felt like such a fraud for not being the radiant example of motherhood that I wanted to be for her. I just felt clueless and hopeless for not coping like everyone else seemed to be able to. Sorry for the big ramble, in my tired way I'm trying to tell you you're not alone in feeling the way you do. Take care chick and know that you don't have to go through it alone. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 4:59pm
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caraMel, that's exactly how I feel! I feel bad when I ask DH for help with changing etc. even though he doesn't complain at all, and says he likes feeding her EBM and he always offers to help and so on... but I think that because I'm not doing it all on my own, that I am a useless mother. I'm starting to realise that he's right, we are a team and I am not "meant" to do it all on my own like I keep thinking.
Today has been a lot better. I didn't want to get up this morning and feed her but then DH randomly turned up home from work (he was delivering something and popped in) and he made me breakfast while I got dressed and warmed the EBM, and changed her etc. while I ate... then when I was feeding her he went back to work. It just helped so much that he made me get out of bed, but in a really nice helpful way. I've actually done washing today, and made myself lunch, showered, sorted through some baby clothes etc. instead of just crying in my pajamas all day and resenting our baby. He also did a night feed last night so that probably helped too, that I actually got some sleep!
------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 6:10pm
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Janey I still have days like that even now. Best thing to do is to talk to you MW (you should still be under her) and she what she says. Sometimes it is good to talk to your dr as well. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 6:47pm
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I remember feeling like that after Mikey (was ok after Alan), but Mike ywas a differnt story I was straight into normal life with him as I had a homebirth which was amazing, but I did not get the time to relax and enjoy my new baby. The first 6 month's of Mikey's life was me and the boy's in our pj's pretty much every and all day. Unless we had to go out. I think it is something we all struggle with at some point talk to your GP and make small goal's for your self each day that is something for you like having a shower. It seem's so silly, but those little thing's can make the world of differnce. Like everyone else said go to the GP or talk to your M/W don't wait get the support around you if you don't end up needing it that cool, but you have thing's in place if you do. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 9:24pm
LOL Deb the girls and I still hang out in our PJ's if we aren't going out 
Janey - Another thing to take into account is that sleep deprivation can mimic the symptoms of depression. When you are having broken sleep, feeding etc. the little things can get on top of you more easily and you can end up feeling overwhelmed and even a bit depressed. That said, I convinced myself for 8 mths that I wasn't depressed, just sleep deprived, and it turned out I had rampant PND and was just in major denial  -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 11:59pm
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ditto to what emma said about denial i had that too it took my sister to recognise it in me having gone through it herself.
Here's al inky to the Edinburgh Postnatal depression scale, have a read, answer the questions and go from there. http://www.fresno.ucsf.edu/pediatrics/downloads/edinburghscale.pdf - Postnatal depression scale hugs ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:03pm
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Hmmm I got a score of about 19 but today seemed a little better than usual. I keep putting off ringing my Dr but it's still early days isn't it? Maybe I will see how I'm doing next week.
I just hate breastfeeding so much and wish it would settle down. But even if she starts drinking properly and not throwing everything up all the time, and even if my boobs stop hurting, I just can't imagine wanting to give her my breasts all the time for 6 months!!! I can't imagine expressing for that long either. I wish I could just give her formula without feeling guilty. Funny, I thought when I was pregnant that I would love breastfeeding my baby  and couldn't understand why people wouldn't, even if it was hard... I thought, well surely they can tough it out for a few weeks. But now that I'm on this side of it I can't believe how much more complicated it is. I really want to breastfeed her so hating it and it not going well makes me feel like such a failire ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |