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NO, i angry!

Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15518
Printed Date: 22 February 2025 at 3:35pm
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Topic: NO, i angry!
Posted By: Bizzy
Subject: NO, i angry!
Date Posted: 21 March 2008 at 10:56am
This is what i have been hearing from my 4 yr old a lot lately. I know there has been lots of upheaval in his life lately but i am getting a bit worried. He wont communicate anything past that hes angry so i dont even know what it is he is really feeling.

Should i just be acknowledging it and letting him get on with it or should i be trying to get him to tell me more. I tried that this morning but he just said to leave him alone..and being so hormonal still made me almost burst into tears...i kept it under control but only just.

Oh and the week that i was away he kept telling everyone that he wasnt happy. "I not happy" was the first thing he said to people, including a lady at the supermarket who tried to talk to him ...

Any of you wise ladies have any advice?!

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Replies:
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 21 March 2008 at 11:05am
Firstly I want to say that it's pretty good that he can acknowledge the way he is feeling, and can vocalise it to you.

Personally I would be acknowledging the way he's feeling. That's one thing that I learnt with Conor when my ex died.

Can DH take the two little ones for you for an hour or so, so you can spend some time together? He may be missing his mummy.

I know that he's a gentle boy because I saw that the other day with him and Cooper, and he was being so kind to Cooper.

He could be really confused about Eden's arrival and maybe he doesn't know where he fits in at the moment.

Maybe say something like "I'm sorry you feel so angry, is there anything that I can do to make you feel better".



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Mr Mellow (16)
Miss Attitude (8)
Destructa Kid (3)



Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 24 March 2008 at 4:12pm
Eek, I don't have any advice that is worth giving but I hope you manage to get through this stage... it sounds a bit heart wrenching and must be quite hard to balance the needs of all your kiddos (and hubby!)

xoxo


Posted By: thunderwolves
Date Posted: 24 March 2008 at 8:01pm

maybe he is having the 4yr old testosterone overload that most boys get, they can get super angry and physical at this time, if it is this it will pass soon enough, sorry doesn't help much but I do see this alot in the 4yr old boys i work with, kinda like they get nasty pms for a few weeks..



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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 24 March 2008 at 8:14pm
I kinda know how it feels. Hannah just looks so heart breakingly sad sometimes, and it just makes me want to cry. Big hugs seem to work. As does putting down the baby even if shes crying or something. Also talking to her about how she is feeling - she is just learning the names of feelings but she knows happy, sad and angry, and talking/acknowledging it does seem to help.

Good luck

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Aimee

Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08


Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 24 March 2008 at 9:50pm
have you got any books that explain feelings? like Happy and sad etc...not the mr men books tho! LOL!

and how about a new baby in the house book? maybe some of those being read to him by yu or daddy might help?

his saying he is angry or not happy might not actually mean that at all....try the library if you dont have the books...i know there are plenty around....


Posted By: ashton2003
Date Posted: 22 May 2008 at 10:34am
my son is 4 and a half. over the past few months he has been expressing his feelings a lot more than usual. he has also been telling me he is angry, unhappy etc. i was worried at first, but after speaking with a few friends of mine i came to the conclusion that he was just trying to express his feelings as he just found out what beign angry or unhappy meant. i chose to mostly ignore what he was saying (unless i knew for sure that he was telling the truth) and now the phase has past. hope that helps :)


Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 22 May 2008 at 11:44am
sarah started doing this just after jett was born,
id just say to her " its ok to feel angry, why dont you tell mummy whats making you angry and we can try and make it better"
this usually worked

now weve hit the 5yr old "i hate you, i dont like you, im not your friend " stage

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DD 10.5yrs
DS 6yrs
DS 11mths
5 little angles watching from above


Posted By: ashton2003
Date Posted: 22 May 2008 at 3:48pm
Oh i know that feeling! I get the 'i'm not going to play with you anymore' and 'you are not my friend anymore' lol then 5 minutes later things are back to normal!


Posted By: WiggleBums
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 3:25pm
No advice..... We have a similar problem with "GO AWAY"
again I think its about not being able to verbalize his feelings...



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