BFN :(
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15969
Printed Date: 02 June 2024 at 2:16pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: BFN :(
Posted By: catie
Subject: BFN :(
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 2:43pm
I just got the call from F+ that I've been anxiously waiting for since my preg BT this morning - BFN. I was really hopeful this time, cos it was our second IUI, and they used 4 million strong healthy sperm and I had two good eggs, so I thought the odds were pretty good. My DH is overseas so I don't want to ring him as it's 2.30 a.m. over there, and I don't really want to talk to anyone else, but I'm pretty gutted. 
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Replies:
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 2:48pm
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I'm so sorry Catie. If you really want to talk to your DH I think you should just ring him anyway. He wouldn't mind I am sure in this situation.
Sending you big hugs. I am so sorry.
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 3:29pm
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Oh, hon. I'm very sorry. Is there anyone else you can call?
------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 3:36pm
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Thanks guys. We've been ttc for so long (nearly 3 yrs) that most people that knew have stopped asking and i don't really feel like bringing it up. Plus i'm at work and can't decide whether I'm better to stay and try to put it out of my mind until it's kind of sunk in a bit more,(even though I'm not actually getting any work done) or go home early and have a big howl. but I think going home to an empty house (except for the cat) would be too depressing.
We were gonna have up to 4 rounds of IUI, but i don't know if I can handle it. |
Posted By: honeybun
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 4:00pm
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Oh Catie I'm so sorry and I know how you feel. Give yourself the time to cry and just be upset it's important. You will move on and don't give up you can do this. ------------- Mum to a gorgeous 5yr old girl and a beautiful baby boy. |
Posted By: Fergie
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 4:03pm
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Hi Catie
I also went through IUI about 6 months ago, having 2 eggs. We didn't have as many sperm though. We were supposed to have a IVF cycle but it was converted to IUI as my system did not respond to the medication. Yesterday, I compled my second cycle of IVF (3 eggs this time) and went in to have the egg collection done and all 3 follicles contained no eggs. This is the end of the road for us and we have been told that our only option may be a egg donar? I can come to terms with this. I never thought this would happen to us. |
Posted By: kiwigal
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 4:13pm
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Catie I am so sorry |
Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 4:51pm
catie i'm so so sorry hun big  heading your way  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Ladybird84
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 5:23pm
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catie, I am so sorry to hear this.
Please take care and remember that we are all here if you need support. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
PCOS 3 Clomid Cyles Conceived on a Break Cycle while waiting for IUI |
Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 6:30pm
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Thanks guys. I'm feeling a bit better. I'm usually a pretty optimistic person and I know that it might be 'third time lucky' and even if it's not DH and I have a great relationship and a great lifestyle and many things to be grateful for. but it's really hard to imagine never having kids.
Fergie, poor you! Thanks so much for your support - it's really helped me get through the day. 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 8:59pm
| Catie and Fergie Im so sorry. Catie dont give up now, once you hold your baby it will all be worth it and Fergie Im sorry to hear you have to go down the egg donar path and hope you find a donar quickly if you decide you want to go with that option, remember it takes more than eggs and sperm to make a parent, its how you love the baby you are blessed with. |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 04 April 2008 at 8:06am
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Oh Catie I'm so sorry! I know that's not enough, and it doesn't really even touch the sides of the grief, but I wish it was different for you. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 04 April 2008 at 4:00pm
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Thanks guys.
I've treated myself to a pedicure today, and a mocca and eggs bene which I've been avoiding for the last couple of weeks and am feeling a bit better and more philosophical. I think coming off the progestrone doesn't help though - a bit of a crash, quite teary. But DH has been lovely, says we can just keep trying for as long as it takes (tho realistically if it hasn't worked by the 4th time statistically if probably never will). But we'll probably skip this next month and have some time to relax and not have our lives dominated by TTC. Thanks again! |
Posted By: tibby
Date Posted: 04 April 2008 at 5:58pm
| Catie and Fergie, am so sorry. |
Posted By: Fergie
Date Posted: 05 April 2008 at 10:46am
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Catie, I know how you are feeling. I had two days of tears and now just feel numb. I am not motivated to do anything and just keep lying in front of the T.V. I have an appointment with F+ on Wednesday again to look at what we can do. My husband was supposed to be coming to the appointment with me but now says that he is too busy at work and can' make it. It makes me upset when his work comes before this, because I think we are in this situation because we never started trying to conceive earlier because my husband thought the time was not right due to all his work commitments. After we had the bad news on Wednesday, my husband started blaming himself for what had happened and said that he always let his work come first. Yet, again he can't make the appointment on Wednesday because of work? Again, work is affecting our only chance of pregnancy. I don't have time on my side anymore as I am now 38.
My husband says we will just keep trying? F+ don't think it is worth it? I think they are going to start speaking to us about their egg donar programme. I don't feel like I can really speak to my husband as he seems to be shutting this out of his mind! I think I am going to explore all options by myself. Someone at work told me about a homeopath in Browns Bay that has helped many people with fertility. I am going to see him on Friday. So, I am just going to try and stay positive! You must do the same!! |
Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 06 April 2008 at 2:17pm
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Fergie, I would be quite annoyed with my DH if I was you, but I think sometimes men deal with things by ignoring them/consuming themselves in something else, e.g. work.
DH and I have been taking various supplements for a while now, and I've also been having acupuncture too (DH had some acupuncture, but has now 'gone off it') and that seems to have really made a big diference to his sperm, and I'm ovulating regularly (although there never seemed to be a problem with my fertlity, other than age ). but it can't hurt.
Good luck - maybe when another day or two have passed you might feel like you can talk to your DH and see if you can work out a way to support each other more (not that I'm suggesting you aren't supporting him). I think also sometimes DH's don't quite get how difficult it is for us, esp with all the additional hormones and stuff affecting our moods, and don't necessarily see the point in going to appts - which is frustrating, I know! and maybe guilt can get in the way as well? I dunno, just thoughts... |