Behaviuor around forbidden foods
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Reflux and Allergy Support
Forum Description: Struggling with a refluxy baby? Looking for tips to deal with allergies? Share your experiences here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17652
Printed Date: 22 November 2024 at 8:04am
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Topic: Behaviuor around forbidden foods
Posted By: Kellz
Subject: Behaviuor around forbidden foods
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 1:45pm
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Isla is no longer allergic to anything, but we now have quite a substantial list of 'no go' foods that cause an array of nasty reactions.
My problem is, now she is older she is very aware of what shes missing out on when at parties, mainly music each week when they give each kid 2 biscuits, etc. She screams and throws a tantrum,...I gave in on sun and gave her the jelly lollies the other kids were eating- but she reacted to the presevatives/colour/sugar and was up screaming loads in the night, and not herslef at all yeaterday either. Today at music I had her own food ready but she wouldnt have it, so I had to grab this screaming stiff child off the floor and leave,...spent the rest of the morning bawling,..again 
So how have u taught your child what they can and cant have? Its easier to give in now that she is not allergic to anything, but her poor little body still gets reactions form heaps of stuff, so I have to be a good parent and not give those things to her, I am the one that know whats best for her,..but its soo hard. And I am so self conscious and embarrased, just imaging everyone is thinking Im a terrible mother when shes screaming,..or being over protective etc -"oh just give the poor child a buisuit and shut her up already"! Sorry for the big moan 
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Replies:
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 2:13pm
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Kellz that sounds really hard. I don't have any advice sorry but I do think you are doing the right thing not letting her have it when she reacts later. It is hard when other people are eating it and I think you had done all you could by being organised and having other food there for her. Does she have favourite 'safe' food you could take to music with her?
Hope someone else has some good ideas for you. Don't you hate trying to pick up stiff sceaming children! |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 3:30pm
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My little brother was similar. My parents dealt with is partly by not letting any of us eat the yummy things he couldn't have (we were still allowed the boring foods - which we thought was horribly unfair at the time, but I can understand it now). So i've not been a parent, but I've witnessed the screaming and the tantrums! I recall my mum giving him mashed potato in a cone because we were having icecream (vanilla so he wouldn't notice his was different) on my other brother's birthday.
My mum would explain to him when there was forbidden food around that he wasn't allowed it because it made him sick. He didn't accept this for a long time and would try and sneak the food when no one was looking. But eventually, he started to stop eating it. And even got to the point where when offered food he wasn't allowed, he'd refuse and explain to the person that he wasn't allowed it (often followed by the little kid who'd just offered him some cake looking at my mum like she was pure evil - not letting her son have cake  ). I think he was about 5-6 by that stage though. I think part of that was him beginning to recognise the association between the food and feeling sick, which younger kids don't quite understand.
He was allergic to lactose, sucrose and fibre, so not an easy kid to feed! These days though, he eats all of the above in fairly large quantities, and has pretty much completely outgrown his allergies. So no real solutions for you, sorry, but I thought it might help to know that you'll only have to do this for a finite period and eventually she'll understand the consequences and stop fighting you on it. It was no fun to be the sister of such a kid, so I feel for you as the mother  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 7:56pm
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Hmmmm, blimmin good question, Kellz. (and great to hear a different perspective on it too, rhick). Ella isn't allowed anyone's food unless they offer her a piece of fruit. Since she's not a real foodie (unless she's hungry, she only wants to put it in her mouth to play with for a while then spit out) this hasn't caused bit tantys yet, but I do spend a lot of time shifting food away from her reach on tables, and watching her like a hawk when other kids are eating around her. I'm not much help, sorry. I usually end up taking extra of her food to share if she's visiting a friend, so they end up eating her dairy-free muffins! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 8:19pm
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We have had really strict rules for her from day dot, so she has just gotten used to it. It breaks my heart to watch her looking at other kids eating stuff she cant have, but I usually try and make up for it with special treats we take places. I usually go to music late so we miss the morning tea part. I went to a birthday party on the weekend and took along a pink iced cupcake for Hannah just like all the other kids got, and hers went on the tray with the others. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 9:17pm
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Thanks guys. Yeah I will prob just have to start leaving as soon as the actual music part is over, so t avoid morning tea. I so dont want tantrums each time, I already am feeling like I'd rather not go back, but Isla loves it there.
I guess I need to find some recipes, and begin to deal with this new bunch of things to avoid the same as before,..it did become easier. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 9:33pm
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Is there anyway you could arrange to have her foods added to the table without her knowing so that when she has it she thinks it the same as what everyone else is getting. (sorry not sure that makes much sense) ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 11:42am
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Big hugs Kellz! We were mostly lucky with Maya, she was never really worried if her food was "different" but we did have a nasty reaction at Playcentre when she picked up someone's cameo creme off the floor, and a near miss when she helped herself to another boys sandwich - luckily it had hummus not butter on it but it scared the bejesus out of everyone and they were all a bit more proactive about keeping stuff away from her after that.
I think if I were you, I wouldn't give in. It's just not worth it. As a kid, there are always going to be things your parents won't let you do or have, and whether you like it or not, you have to suck it up. It's hard when Isla's so little, coz they don't understand, but if you persist then she will eventually come to terms with it. Maya used to break my heart, by 18 mths she could recite "no eggs, no milk, no peanuts, no soy", it was sooo sad! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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