How do you approach masterbating?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17752
Printed Date: 22 February 2025 at 3:22pm
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Topic: How do you approach masterbating?
Posted By: Glow
Subject: How do you approach masterbating?
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 9:02am
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My big boy has started masterbating regularly & infront of myself & others. When I've caught him in action, I've told him "Thats something we do in the bedroom or bathroom, in private" And left it at that. He'll run off laughing to his bedroom, which is good, but is this the right approach? He also goes to hs bedroom for timeout. I dont want him thinking its bad or anything. Do i need to give him more "words" for what he is doing & explain why we do it in private or maybe move timeout?
Tips & advice please  ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Replies:
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 9:07am
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I tend to approach it the same way that you do. Just say that its something we do on our own and that if she feels like doing it she can go in her bedroom.
I try to make it casual so that she doesn't feel like she's being sent away to do something naughty. I'll be interested to hear other people's advice on this too. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 9:09am
| I have no advice other than to say that you are doing what I do! |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 9:11am
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Same here!!!
------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 10:49am
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Never had a problem with my girls so wasnt an issue but Alize on the other hand has already found his penis and loves it. I plan on teaching him when he is older the same as Glow and Mel have said. Alize just loves to show his off already, he treats it like a little action figure that can do magic hahahahah ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 10:53am
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we do the same here, they seem to have grown out of it thank goodness.
it isnt really masterbating tho, just more trying to work out how it works and it probably feels good too. Gabriel discovered his late and it coincided with when the foreskin came back... so a new discovery for him! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Deez
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 11:37am
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At the moment I'm not even worried about it. I dont refer to it as masterbating id rather call it tugging at this age. I think it's just their way of exploring their bodies and finding out how it works and what it does...Lycan has a tug every now and then when he doesn't have a nappy on and we are also teaching him how to clean himself in the shower. I spose when he is a bit older we'll have to start explaining things to him...but until then i'm not making a big deal about it.......
So after all that i am not use to you, got no tips or advise to give.. -------------  
Lycan and Peyton = Moon and back!! |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 11:53am
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I think it does becone a form of masterbation when toddlers and kids start to do it all the time because it feels good which again is perfectly normal. Alot of distressed parent have brought their kids to the Drs due to this and have been reassured that some kids find th feeling so nice that it can become a comfort for them. Funny enough it is little girls who were brought in the most with the parents mortified that they had found their vagina opening and were forever in there fingers, pens and all ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 12:18pm
I do believe differentiating between masturbation at a young age and masturbation at an older age goes some way toward entrenching the stigma of 'your body is not ok' (in extreme terms  )
I don't want to differentiate between masturbation at a young age and masturbation at an older age as essentially it is all about exploration and learning and that is OK (IMO)
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 12:25pm
 I had no idea kids did this! ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Kels wrote:Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 1:01pm
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Yep.
I recall a slightly older family friend playing doctors with me when I was little. I used to be grossed out by it all but now I know it's just part of discovering bodies! Hannah and her little friend were busted under covers one day inspecting each other's bums. heeehehehe |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 1:06pm
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haha busted Hannah !
Caitlyn still touches herself sometimes, i too just tell her its something we do in private. It also means i can talk to her about why she can touch it -cos its HER property and noone else needs to touch it , and if someone does try to touch it, she must always tell mummy . |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 8:01pm
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i tell sarah that too.
im glad this topic cam up tho as my BFF has a 2 &3 yr old, miss 2 will lie on her bean bag watchn tv and will hav her hands down her pants she gets so excited she starts swetting and all, and if her mum tells her to stop it she just grins. have to say the first time i saw it after my friend had asked me what she should do i was really shocked. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 8:40pm
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I blame you Kelly. I approached this "it's your body" topic with jake, because I read your reply.
"Jake, remember that your body is for you" "and you mummy" "what? no! now, your private area, you can touch but if someone else touches you tell mummy" "here mummy, you touch" "NONONO, what i mean is...oh, nevermind" |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 9:42pm
Jake is always humping teddy....
He is now aware that Beeah (c) has a 'gina and he has a diddle and he can't play with beeahs 'gina (parts of a convo we had late last week...) And today when I was putting his night nappy on him he says only you and daddy and HiYa (gran) and Neane neane (caregiver) do my nappy and I just added on the and no one is allowed to touch your diddle and if they do you tell mum. When I tucjed him into bed later on he goes no one can touch my diddle aye mum and no one touch beeahs 'gina and me no touch beeahs 'gina eiher. Cute. He sort of gets it. But the humping.... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 04 June 2008 at 4:00pm
Lol...so cute. I am so not looking forward to having that talk with DD.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 05 June 2008 at 9:29am
I think this may also be the case with Brae, am keeping the casual approach & hopefully it will be short lived. ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: WiggleBums
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 3:20pm
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arhhh yes,
its when they start yelling "My big fat willy" in public that you cringe. I think we have the 'only at home' thing sorted now, but for a while... |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 6:57pm
hehe....sorry ....but thats cute .... I'll gladly take the blame for that one
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 6:59pm
or " you have a big fat willy !" in public that you pretend you have no idea who that child is. Oh the amount of times i've looked around for Caitlyn's "mother" ...."why are you calling ME mum dear? your mum must be here somewhere...let GO of my top !"
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 8:10pm
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I have a friend whose little boy used to yell out "No Mamma, not the pee na na...." everytime she changed his nappy....it was quite funny!!!
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 18 June 2008 at 12:40pm
Interesting thread, I'd never considered the fact that telling me son not to do that could cause body and intimacy issues later on. My husband and I were horrifed when he first started doing this then asking why it's changed shape etc etc??? We just told him "not to play with himself" or "leave it alone". I'll have to try the old discusion as to appropriate times and places thing instead, thanks ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08) 
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