Working on DBP
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Topic: Working on DBP
Posted By: mummy_becks
Subject: Working on DBP
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 10:27am
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http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/4881009/ - Working for DBP I thought you already had to do this when your youngest child turned 6 and you were on the DBP??? Maybe I thought wrong??? I hope they don't try and bring back that green thing when if you were on the Unemployment benefit you have to work 20 for an extra $20 a week, that was so stupid. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Replies:
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 11:33am
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Nope, not currently in practice. Nats have been talking about it for a long time.
They might encourage it but it is definitely not an obligatory thing. |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 12:13pm
i just did an essay on the labour led government and this whole 'making people work for their benefit' goes back such a long way and personally i think its good in a way but i dont like it! not that im on bene but i think its going to cause a bit of panic
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 12:18pm
I personally think that unless you are disabled, ill etc then you should work to get the money instead of getting a free ride. They could have everyone on DPB out painting over tagging or picking up litter, I'm sure it would encourage most to go and get a better job. Better still bring back work houses. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 12:54pm
| I work , think if i didnt id get too bored after a while anyway ! |
Posted By: Natalie_G
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 1:04pm
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I also thought that once your kid turned 6 you didnt get the DBP anymore. Now I find out that is not true it made me more angry. I know plenty of solo mums that work and there kid is under 6, if some can do it why cant others. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 1:09pm
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Yeah fine if you are on the DBP and your children are at school but not when you have a baby. For people on the UB yes they should be out there doing something. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
cuppatea wrote:Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 1:15pm
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Yeah I wouldn't expect someone with a new baby to have to work that's what the etc as there to cover, although I do question how or why they end up in that situation in the first place.
I don't know the difference between DPB and UB -------------
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 1:19pm
Umm I'm on the DPB so does that mean I'm getting a free ride?
I agree that once your child is in school you should get off your butt & be back working or at least studying .... If it wasn't for the DPB I wouldn't be able to start studying from home full-time next year AND continue to raise my son at the same time. I want to give him a good life & be able to support him (financially speaking), I also want to bond with him & teach him all I can (and make the most of) these first few years and not just go chucking him into a daycare while I go out and slave away in some minimum wage job only to earn the same amount as I would if I was to stay home with him on dpb. By the time he's at Kindy/school I DO intend to be working full time or at least finishing off my studies so I can work in my chosen career. I'd be bored sh*tless if I was to stay at home by myself lol I do agree though that there shouldn't be the unemployment benefit, unless disabled, ill or a valid reason why one cannot work etc these people should be out trying to find jobs - THEY are the ones getting a free ride. Not mothers on the DPB who actually give two stuffs about their childrem & are trying to give them a good start. 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 1:25pm
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I think cuppatea may be referring more to the Unemployment Benefit (UB) rather than the Domestic Purposes Benefit (DPB)
DPB is for single mothers and it provides them with a meagre income so they may stay home and look after their kiddos. Extra assistance is available to study as well as the usual add-ons. I was on the DPB from when Hannah was born til the start of this year while I finished studying and couldn't have survived without it. But at the same time, it wasn't that great to live on. The shame and guilt as well as the fact that it is feck all money. At the time I felt like I was getting heaps and probably more than I should have been for not doing anything, but now I consider those years pretty hard on the money front. It was enough for day to day living etc, but there was no way I could have ever gotten ahead IYKWIM. I had enough savings to deal with a minor disaster and had my parents' support if things really went wrong but would never have been able to sustain living on there for longer than I did. As it was I was heading into major debt and if I didn't start working and paying it off then I'd have been in trouble in a few months. Anywayyyyy ramble over. Just been on my mind the last while
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 1:29pm
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http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/4881955/ - Updated Nothing new this was their last policy when they were in government in 1996. I don't believe they should be making all people on the invalids and sickness benefits get work. My DH was on th sickness benefit for 5 months last year. He could leave the house for 4 of those months without me, there is no way he could of worked. The DPB is for families who don't work (there are some couples on it), but is usually for solo mums. The UB is for people who don't work but can - those are the ones that should be out there getting a job. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 2:20pm
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I think that is good (making those on dpb with children 6 or over work). My friend(if i want to call her that) is so lazy and hasnt had a job since she was about 15. Shes 22 and her daughter is now 4. It would make people like her get off their fat arses and do something. Although knowing her she would probably have another kid so she could stay at home.
------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 5:16pm
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Yep i was thinking more UB, I didn't realise that DPB is a seperate category of benefits.
I don't see why couples can be on it though, only one needs to be at home full time, so either one should work or they should both work part time. I'm in two minds about the amount of help single mums get, on one hand women that find themselves on their own do need the helping hand and should be able to make the choice to be at home with their child, but on the other lots of hardworking couples both have to work cos they can't afford to live any other way and then there are those women that just get knocked up so they don't have to work and can get a free ride. The paying for single mums to study annoys me as well, I want to retrain but I have to take out a student loan or pay for it myself. I am having to go the student loan route as we don't have any extra money, we won't get any help with childcare etc, how is that fair? Yes people need a helping hand to get in a better situation it just annoys me that if you are married or in a relationship and you have made sure you are fairly financially secure before having children that you get nothing. Me and DH would be better off if we just got divorced and then I dated him instead. -------------
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 6:01pm
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i get what ya mean cuppatea, sometimes i feel like working couples should have a bit more help with things but i can see it from other points of views in that i think its great that single mums can take things into their own hands and pave a good life for themselves.
I dont think there should be an unemployment or at least not a permanant one - temporary maybe because some people do find it harder to find a job in a short span of time. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 6:03pm
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Me and my friend have this idea that you should only be on the UB for 6 months of the year and that is it. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 8:17pm
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I'm with you on this one cuppatea, sure there are situations where being on a benefit can help, but why should single parents get extra help for study etc, when couples don't it isn't any easier financially supporting a family.
I would love to be able to stay home until my children go to school and get assistance to study to improve my employment opportunities, but in order to do that I have to pay for it all myself because I'm married. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 8:44pm
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Thats crap. Maybe you should get some sort of extra help, but are you saying that i should get nothing and struggle to live and feed my daughter with just one income? Are you saying if you were a single mother you wouldnt want any help with anything? And are you also saying that if i just worked and studied and got no help id be able to live comfortably? sh*t, I would love to not have to rely on a benefit to help me live/ pay for my study. Realistically its not gonna happen.
------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 8:56pm
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sorry got carried away, but seriously. How is it not easier financially supporting a family with 2 incomes coming in as opposed to my one? And what about those single parents with more than one kid? How are they meant to afford to live etc if they, like you, got no extra help?
Isnt there that working for families thing anyways?? Isnt that extra help for FAMILIES? as in those married with kids? Or am i wrong? ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 9:23pm
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I disagree with you both Fleury and cuppatea and will choose to believe you are making those statements because you don't have the full information about how the system works. I'm also not just defending the scheme because I was the recipient of the money
Let me explain here that you can only receive the study grant for undergrad study if you haven't received a qualification in the last 5 years... and that it doesn't cover all fees/childcare/transport/associated study costs. It is a set amount per year and you can choose to have a certain amount on your fees and then some each week to pay for aforementioned study costs etc But anyway, it is an investment in getting women OFF the DPB and keeping them off. And while it may cost an extra couple of thousand for a couple of years, it is long term saving money for the government/tax payers by allowing solo parents to get qualified and return to the workforce sooner. I think as far as making judgements on who should or shouldn't receive money or who should have waited to have children and not got themselves in that situation in the first place, it is very easy to judge standing back but if you consider each and every single mum who has been able to use the DPB to get themselves to a better place in what is usually quite a crappy situation, then I doubt you'd be able to easily deny any one of them. I do completely agree that it is hard work for couples and I feel really terrible for those who are trying to study and having to really struggle to do so. I am totally for a universal student allowance to be available to make it easier. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 9:36pm
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I agree with Nikki. I was on the DPB from when Maya was born until Dec '04. In that time (about 20 mths) I finished the last 12 months of my degree, started a postgrad and found a job. The extra financial assistance I got to help with my studies and help with childcare costs is the only reason I managed to do that, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to afford to finish the degree that I was 2/3 of the way thru (and had already spent around $18k on) which ultimately enabled me to get the job. Yeah I could have gotten a job at Woolies with no qualifications but in terms of setting an example for my kids and raising them to aspire for more in their lives than government assistance finishing my studies was a far better long term option.
I agree with the starting work when your youngest kid is six thing in theory, in practise you'll just get people having more babies so they don't have to work which is what happened last time they had that policy. What I'd really like to see is more cracking down on DPB fraud - people who live with their partners and still claim the DPB - and on women who continue having more children while on the DPB. If you're a solo parent and relying on a benefit to survive you *don't* have the right to keep having more babies at the taxpayers expense. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 9:41pm
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Nikki is talking about the Training Incentive Allowance and it doesn't go anywhere these days to pay for uni fees let alone daycare, travel, books etc. I have seen how much some woman have ben given for their Massey fees and it probably paid for 5 papers out of the 8 needed to be full time. I have seen some of these woman's grades as well and they work bloody hard to do well in the studies to get off the DPB. The universal SA would be great if it didn't affect your accom suppliment or WFF payments. Mel you should get some money from IRD (the old child support), you just wouldn't get the in work payment. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 9:45pm
There are lots of parents doing exactly this, on their own and not getting any govt assistance. Just cause a partner leaves doesn't mean you automatically qualify for any help. Child support is a load of toss, and that's only if the other parent agrees to pay. I've never had to get any benefit from the govt, as i've always worked and paid my taxes, and i'm glad it goes to those that need it, especially if it helps them get ahead. I get annoyed at those that have never worked a day in their lives, and spend all their time on the benefit. I guess that's what this policy is aimed at. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 9:59pm
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I personally just don't understand why they can't get a student loan and pay it back like everyone else has to. Yes it is beneficial for women to be educated and get better jobs but there are plenty of young women who get pregnant and instead of the man doing a runner he sticks around, they struggle like hell and she gets nothing, that is not fair and its not right. I'm not necessarily saying that single mothers should get nothing but they shouldn't get special treatment just because they are single.
And why should couples both work, I have recently quit work and we get nothing off WFF but we are by no means well off, I will be out of my job for a few years and it will be a struggle for me to get back into it because I work in an industry that moves quickly so even if I didn't want to change careers I would still be buggered cos I would get no help to upskill and return to the workforce and even if we did qualify for WFF I still wouldn't get any help because my husband earns over the thresholds which is a total joke. I understand that not all women are in the situation they are in on purpose or cos they want to get a free ride but seriously put yourself in my shoes and i think you would be pretty peeved at the double standard as well. -------------
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 10:19pm
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i don't like blanket policies like this really. I mean, yes, it woud be ideal if everyone who had a achild over 6 could get a job, BUT jobs that fit the hours are few and far between, and employees that are sympathetic to people with children, let along single mums are also not as common as we think.
I think this policy will cause a lot of stress for people, and the rate of homelessness will increase. and yes, there are people ripping off the system, but that will happen rehgardless and i am happy to pay my taxes knowing the majority goes to people who seriously need the help. I think that WINZ needs more ability to use discretion, rather than saying "well, our policy says this, so NO" looking more at each case on its own merits so to speak. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 10:25pm
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See I really don't consider being on the DPB as 'special treatment'
As I said in my original post, while it felt like a lot of money to be getting at the time, there was no way in hell it was sustainable to live on. I don't know how people do it for years and years. I guess that's how people end up getting stupid loans from finance companies and then get themselves into real trouble! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 10:28pm
Yep, agree here too. I don't think you can have a policy which says "Kid = 6. You're off!" and cut the money. As the process goes now, you are really encouraged to set goals etc and get back into the work force. It ain't a matter of being kicked off but they certainly don't make it easy for people to sit around and do nothing. Well... they didn't for me either. Andddddddd one last thing... it was actually bliming hard to move back into the workforce (well, I suppose couples find it just as difficult!) but trying to time getting a place in a childcare centre, getting a job to coincide with the start of childcare so that I wasn't liable for fees without income, and all the rest was tough. I'm just lucky as hell my employers were flexible. |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:15am
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Cuppatea it's not 'special treatment' as you deem it, it's more helping single mothers get off on the right foot.
And paying off a student loan? You have to be kidding me ...I'm on the bones of my arse some weeks and struggle just to get all our groceries and the bare essentials and thats whilst BOARDING with my parents. Lord knows how we will cope when we move out but I'm determined to see that through. My father has been paying a large amount in taxes for YEARS because he earns a damn good wage. As he says, I'm only earning back what he's paying ....and even then I'm not earning near as much as he pays in taxes. |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:20am
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And just to add - every last penny I get given goes on the boy, I haven't bought any new clothes for myself since before falling pregnant, every week its board, food, medication & petrol and clothes for Lucas when need be.
It's not as great as some of you make it out to be, and sure I understand there are couples that struggle just as much and thats where the WFF comes into place, if you earn over a certain amount then according to them you should be able to cope with a decent budget in place. No need to single out those of us who are eligible for AND RELY ON financial assistance to provide shelter, clothing and food for our children
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 6:32am
yep i agree ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 7:48am
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I think it's a great idea - they need to be HEAPS tougher on the UB especially.. it should be a temporary thing, why is it treated as some eternal supply of money? Mike was on it for a few months, when Seb was little, but he was desperately trying to find a job at the time...
When he works, it'll be for what, 35 years? fulltime... he will pay far, far more on tax over that time than we've ever gotten for student allowance or UB. And cuppatea - Student loans pay for course fees, student allowance (free money, you don't pay back, similar to dpb/ub) is what you live on. Also to get a student allowance, you have to be studying full time... I don't think many single mums have the time for this! And it sure isn't great living, on the student allowance, we spend $50-80 on shopping a week - mostly fruit/veg, the odd on special meat, and basics like budget bread, pasta etc. We can't even afford to go to the blimmin dentist... I can't wait till Mike finishes studying, and gets a full-time job! Or even for the xmas holidays, when he will work full time over those. -------------  
 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:17am
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http://thehandmirror.blogspot.com/2008/08/get-those-sole-parents-working.html - Fantastic post about Nat's DPB policy at The Hand Mirror
Back on topic... I suggest people go and read the piece by Deborah on the National policy to get sole parents back into work once their kid reaches 6. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:18am
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Hmmm I think I may need to get ready to duck (and fast).
I personally (and not the word personal ... I dont expect you all to agree with me) .. that it is a good idea in theory. I too would have loved to stay home with Isabelle and look after her fulltime like some Mums on the DPB, however I didnt get a choice as I am married and the goverment wont "pay" for me to do that!
I would also like for DH and I to upskill but training is not an option for us as we dont get any financial help in that respect either ... so we would have to get a loan so that DH can retrain when Isabelle goes off to school so that he can re enter the workforce....now we are also on the "bones of our arse" as someone articulately put it .. but we will have no choice but to get a loan should we wish to retrain. Oh and we dont qualify for WFF .. so we also dont get any help there! I heard something on the news about how they were bandying around not "allowing" people on the DPB to have more children. I also think thats a brilliant idea ... if you cant afford to support one child without financial support from the government how do you expect to raise another ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:26am
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And howwww exactly do they propose to prevent people from having more children???
You can't exactly force sterilisations! I would have thought that investing in people getting an education would be go some way toward decreasing birth rates. I don't have the statistics here to bring out but I'd put money on it that the birth rate of those with tertiary education is miles lower than those who don't have tertiary education. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:45am
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I didnt say it was a feasible idea lol
It just tends to raise my heckles when the subject of welfare comes up ... in all instances where someone in my family could have used a helping hand they couldnt get it as they werent eligable EG - My Dad who had worked for 35+ years lost his job however he wasnt entitled to the UB as Mum still worked (although she earnt nowhere near the amount required to support them both - so my brother and I supported them until my Dad found employment) DH and I arent entitled to any financial assistance from the government as DH is not a resident - however they took his taxes just fine for the past two years that he has been working here...hence the decision for him to stop work and for me to support us all so that Isabelle can have a parent at home (since I cant go on the DPB since we decided to get married - although we would have been way better off if we didnt)! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:51am
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Yess.. exactly. Im on a budget, and most weeks i can barely afford to get food for myself let alone pay off a loan. I too havnt bought any thing for my self since before Briahna was born! If i relied on a job and didnt get any kind of "special treatment" as some seem to think it is then id never have the time or money to do any study as my pay would be going straight on child care, loans, rent, bills and neither me or my child would be able to eat. So my study to further my education and get a better paying job just wouldnt happen.
------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:52am
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I totally agree while babies are young and maybe til the age of 6.. but then i think it should really be fend for yourself (to a point)
Dont get me wrong totally agree if you need the money then you should be able to be helped out but only for a certain time. DH and i dont have any kids at the moment but will be trying in the future and we will pretty much have to fend for ourselves the whole time... ------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg |
Posted By: Natalie_G
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:53am
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Sadly with the current system help is there but not for everyone.
It is hard to find the ones abusing the system, without making everyone suffer which is unfair for those that really need it. The only assistance I can get from the government is a student loan and course related costs. And DH doesnt have a job and refuses to go on the Unemployment Benefit and we are classed as middle income (not sure how but we are). I just remember when my parents split up and my dad is self employed he had no work for 3 months and had us kids, he was not entitled to any government help, not even a small food grant. That stinks I think. Not even temp help for bills, luckly we managed cant remeber how but we must have been in poverty during those months. Sorry just a little rant. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 10:54am
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ETA: lots of posts in between! My response was mostly to lilfatty's last post
Yeah, don't worry. I feel ya... I know the welfare system isn't perfect and ridiculous things prevent people from getting help when they really need it. But I still support the instances when it does work. And whenever someone complains about the DPB etc, I just like to remind them that there is a face and a story behind every recipient ya know? (Being that I was fairly judgemental myself before I fell pregnant!)
P.S. And coming from the other side when a huge chunk of my pay goes off in taxes is a bit painful too... but when I consider that I am "helping" someone else in my position then I feel better. What doesn't help is thinking about how much money is wasted on bureaucracy. Just think how many more people would be better off if people made the effort to keep govt conference costs down or just didn't hold the bliming things in the first place
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 11:22am
I too have those problems .. and will never be able to upskill unlike those who receive this "not special treatment" Nikki ... Before I had Isabelle ... I was completely for helping out those in need and even though under another government I would have been better off I always supported Labour as they helped those who needed it. HOWEVER now that I have Isabelle and see all the help that goes to "those in need" I think hell ... I could do with a helping hand too but Im obviously poor but not quite poor enough
Pearls ... your Dad is/was a 
Im always amazed how people cope without family nearby... Ive supported my brother when he needed help .. My brother and I supported Mum and Dad when they were in need .. and now my brother and my parents help DH and I ... its just sad that those people who dont have family near (those on working visas for example) dont get any help when things get tough. (Which I dont understand .. they pay tax too). ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 11:44am
I think that a family that has an earning partner, and one at home raising a family should have their income split, especially when they are a family that pay their own way. eg. the husband works and earns $80,000 so is in the top tax bracket, the wife is a SAHM earning nothing. Income should be allocated as to $40,000 to the husband and $40,000 to the wife - the assistance that would give to every family in this position would be really beneficial. Especially when many people in that position are like us and pay their own health insurance etc and therefore don't call on the system at all, have tight single-income budgets but are entitled to no assistance. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 11:52am
Ahhh yes. The 'over the threshold but not enough to be financially worry free' position. Not a nice one to be in. The only thing I can say is that hopefully with the rise in the CPI over the last year that they will have to extend the WFF thresholds higher and you may get some assistance? Or whatever else to make life easier.
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 11:53am
Thats a good idea Ginger ... have you thought of running for Prime Minister  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 11:56am
While I concede that you would call on the system less (especially if you use private education. Eeeeek), but I highly doubt you could get away with not calling on the system at all There are still roads that you drive on, for one. Law and order for another. Don't make me go on 
(Love ya!) |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:01pm
I thought they did work it like this... as in the WFF is allocated on a 'family income'? Or do you mean in regards to tax? Because that is quite a good idea! ETA: I don't know enough about tax and financial stuff to say if there are problems with implementing this sort of thing but on a simple level it's good. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:02pm
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Nikki - I think Ginger is referring to tax as WFF is done on "family income" ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:02pm
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Oh. Yeah. Doh Blame No.9. You know what I mean though - we give lots and a wee tax break to assit with things like health insurance payments (which mean, for example, the Govt didn't foot the $10K bill for my endo surgery) would be niiiiiice (although, having said that, the Govt DID foot the close to $20K bill by the time we finished for my IVF, so I'll shut the hell up now ..... ) ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:03pm
I'd make an excellent Prime Minister. Free shoes for EVERYONE!!! ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:04pm
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We'll say I'm referring to tax, because I don't know the first thing about WFF other than we're whistling in the wind hoping to qualify (and not coming within cooee ) ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:05pm
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On Gingers idea ..
I think it would take quite a bit to implement and could not quite see how they would work it on a payday to payday structure .. the only workable way I could see them doing it is on a rebate basis (which wouldnt help families with their day to day bills) Although Im no tax expert .. so Im sure where there is a will there is a way. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:07pm
Ahhh but within government there is always a problem with the will part
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:11pm
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Yes Ginger .. dont get me started on Govt funded IVF
(Not that I begrudge you for the help that you received - Im not as "set in my ideas" on that subject as I am with other welfare help lol) On a side note ... the last election ACT was talking about giving tax breaks to those that paid their own way. To me if I dont think too in depth about it .. it seems like a good idea .. but then again id be too scared we would end up like the USA where those who cant afford health insurance dont get to see the doctor
Hence why I have previously voted Labour (oh and on that note - Helen trains at the same gym as me at the same time .. maybe I should mention her WFF package sucks!) ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:31pm
So you people with your partners and 2 incomes should get all the help you want and then us singles should get nothing. Will you be happy then?
I HAVE to rely on this so called special treatment because without it id be SCREWED. You dont have it.. are you completly screwed? can you not afford rent, or anything? NO. Can you feed and clothe your child? Obviously, otherwise you wouldnt be sitting here on a computer using the internet. If i didnt get my special treatment, i would be.
I didnt ASK to be a single mother on the benefit. I didnt tell my ex to piss off and leave me like this. So quit moaning about what your not getting and think yourself lucky you have a god damn partner to help support you and your family. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:37pm
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Ah Mel, no one thinks that someone in need should be left on a kerb-side. What upsets many is those who take advantage, or take the system for a ride eg. someone claiming the DPB, but living with a partner on the quiet, or someone on a sickness benefit who is working for cash, people on unemployment for no reason other than it is an 'easy' option, or girls who have babies to collect the DPB (there ARE those out there) and so they can stay home.
It's that everyone can hit tough times, regardless of incomes. And don't forget - two incomes doesn't necessarily mean a big income.  ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:38pm
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Hey Mel... I'm not sure she's attacking you personally. I think anyone would be hard pressed to say that the system is perfect and that is what Julia is getting at.
And as far as I know it, Julia headed back to work fairly early on in Isabelle's life... probably exactly for those reasons that you mentioned. |
Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:42pm
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totally agree Ginger - it is the people that are taking advantage of the system that i dont like.. ------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:44pm
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I also have a little cry when I see that DH's tax is almost the same as my salary ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:45pm
ha ha yeah i am the same ------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:49pm
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Yep it was nothing personal ... Im just saying that you HAVE the choice to upskill and the government will fund it for you ... as a working person I dont.
And Im not sure where you get the impression that our house is a two income household .. its not ... its a one income household supporting two adults and a child without any form of assistance like what you are entitled to. I had no choice but to go back to work as unlike you I cant go on the DPB (unless I throw my husband out). And im sitting on the internet because im at work and they pay for the connection
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:50pm
It's tempting to though sometimes huh?
ETA - Throw them out, that is ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:52pm
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I'm sure two incomes beats the amount us solo mothers have to live on. I don't know who's given you the idea that we get a large amount, most solo mothers only get around 15-20 grand per year after tax, and after you've paid rent/board and what not there's sh*t all left for food. That's to support both mother AND baby. I'm sure the average income is much much higher.
And yes it does get hard without the support of a partner, I live with my parents and as much as they love Lucas they don't help out all that much. I have to beg and plead for them to give me a break, spend quality time with him for just 10 mins a day - heck I had my tonsils out and that night I get home (to be quite frank I didn't like leaving him with my parents and they wanted me to come home) and they are telling me I chose to keep bub therefore I have to learn to live like a solo mother and do it all on my own. I have not rested since, I'm waking up every 2 hours of a night to b/feed, STILL have him with me 24/7 despite being in total and utter pain and being told to rest up after the op. I get told to stop complaining all the time. Not once have I gone out with a friend or had any kind of a social life since having him. I will forever have my 'choice' thrown in my face by my parents. Sorry turning into a rant all about me, but seriously we don't get everything handed to us on a silver platter as some of you suggest. ETA: I'm sure even ONE income beats what we get ....sorry I took ages to type this out. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:57pm
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Steph I never said being a solo mum was easy ...
However a lot of the things that you guys talk about dont just happen to single parents
Just because I work doesnt mean that I have it any easier than you (especially if you add to the fact that I have an extra mouth to feed that eats lots more than breast milk)
The system isnt perfect thats all I was saying ... too many people in need get lost in the cavernous cracks! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:04pm
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Mum2Lucas - if you mean my comment about the two incomes? I didn't mean to insinuate that a single person on a benefit would be earning more than a couple on a double income - please don't think I was. I'd be wondering why if that was the case!
I admire anyone who manages on their own with a child and makes it work, and have always tried to make an effort to help anyone I knew to be in difficult circumstances, income level be damned. But, what I was trying to say is that for everyone, things are relative. Eg. I don't imagine a Mum on the DPB pays health insurance for example. I do, therefore meaning I am effectively 'user pays' for most things health related. BUT, it does make my budget a lot tighther to be able to do that, so some kind of tax acknowledgement for the fact that the tax payer doesn't have to fund my specialist/surgical/whatever care would make that amount easier to fund. Bearing in mind that the tax assistance would be maybe 5%-10% of the cost. But, it's still an acknowledgement. Does that make sense? I'm certainly not saying "Hey! Why do they get money? I want some too!!". (P.S. I can't even remember what the beginning of this thread was all about )------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:11pm
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I really do invite some of you to take the time to read the posts on the Hand Mirror though... there are a few more since I last posted the link. They bring to light interesting views from the liberal feminist types. Not exactly arguing for the right-wing conservy side of things but are well reasoned arguments.
http://thehandmirror.blogspot.com - The Hand Mirror |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:11pm
| Ginger I pay health insurance, I can't afford not to with my medical conditions. Came in handy for my tonsillectomy too- 3 years suffering, i see a prvt surgeon and a week later I had my surgery. |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:15pm
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Ooo ... scary feminists? Really? Do you think I should?
(Off to have a look) ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:17pm
See - that's sort of what I'm saying ... that must hurt, but do you pay the same amount of tax as the next person who doesn't have health insurance? Yes, you do. There should be a consideration to you for that. (Edited because I made a complete hash of what I said) ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:31pm
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Mind you, I'm not with Southern Cross - i hear they charge the earth
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:34pm
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I did venture to the liberal feminist blogs ... I think it bought to light the fact that the policy will be hard to govern and put in place however the problems they bought up dont just apply to solo parents.
Just because there are two of you doesnt mean that a couple can magically drop everything either and they also may not have family to take up the slack. Also .. I think that once your child is in school you should have to work fulltime - not necessarily 9-5 but in todays climate its not that hard to find flexible working hours. I work hours that means if Issy was at school she would have someone there before and after, although at the moment it just means I get to spend more of my afternoon with her before its her nn time. Rant over  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:43pm
Ahhh see here's where I beg to differ. I believe it is REALLY hard to find flexible working hours. I consider my job really flexible but I still struggle at times. I doubt if I was a single mum with a limited education that a fast food chain/super market/large company would be quite so generous. After all, business is business and if a parent has to leave early, take extra sick days, potentially turn up to work more tired than a non-parent, they are effectively costing a company money. Now I'm not saying all employers think that way but definitely some. ETA and as a single mum I have very limited babysitting options. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 1:47pm
| http://www.nzherald.co.nz/category/85/story.cfm?c_id=85&objectid=10525918 - Deborah Hill Cone talks a bit more about the vulnerability of mothers in the work force |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:00pm
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Yeah I also wasn't having ago at single mums I was just saying that why is the help only for single mums. I want to train but because I have a husband I have to take out a loan, and you don't pay the loan back until you are in employment so I really honestly don't see why single mums couldn't take loans for study as well, its not like you would be paying for it out of your dpb money. Social welfare is one of those things that is a great idea but is poorly managed with massive loop holes etc. I also have no problem paying tax for health and education and roads etc I would hate for us to be like the US in regards to these things. It would just be nice if all mums (or dads, trying to keep it PC) were given help to retrain or upskill to join the workforce after staying home with preschoolers.
Also a lot of couples don't live on a double income they manage on one like we are which means budgetting and going without as well and those who do both work a lot do it because they have to which is sad that they have that choice taken away from them because they get no help from the system. Working 15 hours once your child is 6 is not unreasonable, I however think that parents don't need to be home until the child is 6, I would only allow the first 12 months to be completely at home and then I think you should start contributing in some way, I'm sorry if you don't like that but tough. Working mums get 14 weeks off the government why should non working single mums get 6+ years? -------------
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:17pm
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I agree with you re: student loans Cuppatea, you don't have to pay them back til your income is over a certain threshold (above benefit level) so there's no reason why beneficiaries shouldn't have to get loans to pay their course fees just like everyone else, they won't have to start paying them til they get a job. When I was studying and on the DPB I used the Training INcentive Allowance to pay for my text books and Maya's daycare and got a loan for my fees.
I also think there tends to be a "poor me" culture amongst single mums. Yes it sucks being on your own, and yes it's hard when you don't have another person there to offload bub on. Believe me, I had Maya in hospital and had to get one of the hospital grandmothers to sit with her so I could go and sit an exam at uni coz there was no one else that could do it, and don't even get me started on the total lack of sleep. It is really, really hard. But wallowing in self pity isn't useful, you just need to pick yourself up and get on with things. And it's also not much good resenting mothers who *aren't* parenting alone - it's not their fault! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:29pm
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Who's wallowing in self pity, if I was to do that what kind of mother would I be to my son?
I certainly don't 'resent' mothers who are not parenting alone, I quite enjoy being on my own if we want to cut to the chase. I'm just stating it's not a walk in the park & some of us DO NOT have parents who support us 100%. Sure my parents have been great, there are aspects to our relationship that leave a lot to be desired but I'm not even going to go into that on here. Life goes on, I landed myself in this situation and fell preg to a guy that didn't give two sh*ts, I'm dealing with it & I'm definitely not rushing out to find a new partner nor planning to have another kid & fall back on the dpb
ETA: Yes I think something should be done about those who manage to fall pregnant whilst on the DPB and have multiple kids to multiple fathers ....that really irks me. Sorry I know your comment probably wasn't aimed at me, but I did sound like I was whinging before, I'm wallowing over the fact that I feel like total and utter sh*t from having my tonsils out, I didn't anticipate that recovery would be THIS bad. ...... |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:35pm
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Hrmmmm I don't know if there is a 'poor me' culture around single mums... if you read back through this thread then I think it's pretty evenly spread
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:36pm
I imagine Emma was at that point I would have been!!
ETA So you know I'm being light-hearted, although not making light...------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:37pm
She shoots! She scores! MWWAAAAAAA!!!!! *Sounds of crowds clapping, and one lone Ginger peeing herself laughing* OK. Leaving again now. I'm scared of this thread It was those feminist links that did me in ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:37pm
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I wasn't aiming that at anyone in particular, just observing that there are a lot of single mothers who feel that way. In the same vein there are a lot of people on other benefits who feel the world owes them a favour too...
I always viewed the DPB as a privilege not a right, after all I chose to leave Willie therefore I needed to accept responsibilty for my decision. And being a single mum when you're sick really bites the big one. I got food poisoning when Maya was about 15 mths and I really thought I was dying but there was no one else to help me with her so I had to function on a basic level, I remember spending three days on the couch with her glued to her DVD's, bad mummy but what can you do? ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:40pm
Hmm ok ... Im not 100% on that point as I have never had a problem finding work with hours to suit me (and Im not "educated" as such) I do agree with the student loan thing too ... DH will have to take one out when its time for him to go back into the workforce (unless we go into the military again) ... so if single mums get upskilled on taxpayers money ... I dont see why all parents going back into the workforce dont have the same opportunities. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:42pm
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Oh Emma I *wish* Lucas would sit on the couch or snuggle up in bed for dvds - no chance of that though - he's tearing through the house being his normal destructive self & no one here is prepared to take him on lol.The broken sleep especially sucks when sick, altho it's working in well with reminding me to take my painkillers 4 hourly
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right??? |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:46pm
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I think what the original post was about is a good idea to an extent. I do not see how anyone can be at home till their youngest is 6, so why should someone on a DPB be given that luxury? I would love to stay home that long (hmm maybe not might go stir crazy!) but with the next bubba I will be at home until they are maybe 9 months as thats all we can afford. I also had to return to work when Jack was 4 weeks old. I work 15 hours a week already, don't see why a single mum can't. I get subsidised for Jack's daycare. His dad rarely looks after him.
We have great support from my parents but the reality is that my DH is away half of the year and I am a solo mum then. My income is a grand total of $9500 a year and DH's isn't that high. He has no skills but we can't afford for him to go and study. At this stage of our lives working has to take priority. I don't think anyone needs to be on the DPB for more than a couple of years at most - my friend was and managed to get her degree easily and went out and worked. The govt paid for her living costs (DPB), some training costs and she paid a grand total of $19 a week for childcare. So I don't necessarily think that's too hard. And yes I know of a lot of girls that have had babies as a career choice, esp on the west coast as they get more money on the DPB than working at the local Warehouse. The thing is... I used to work 3 jobs (11 hours a day) to save for uni (and still have a 30k student loan). If I had waited until I had kids to study I would've had next to no student loan and wouldn't have had to work. Don't see how that's fair when a lot of us are doing things the so-called 'right' way and trying to do the best for ourselves. And this is not a dig at the ladies on here on the DPB, just the system in general. I think at the moment its way too easy to stay on the DPB and people do get a lot of things handed to them whereas hard working families are almost punished for trying to do the right thing and work. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:46pm
| Gahhhhhhh AGAIN the Training Incentive Allowance doesn't even cover fees. |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:50pm
Oh and I can empathise with you Steph, after I had my surgery I wasn't supposed to lift Jack for a month but I could only get enough help for a week and DH was away. Not nice and ended up ripping open all of my stitches.
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 2:50pm
Having been in the system recently, I'd also say this is a misnomer. It isn't easy to stay on there. It's hard. And degrading. And not fun. Yes I do get that people abuse the system but I wouldn't say that those people are in the majority. Edited to fix quote |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 3:05pm
eeek that would give me the heeby jeebies. I don't do blood and open wounds well.
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 3:46pm
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oh my oh my i have a child with specil needs so should all of this apply to me ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 3:52pm
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If national get in Lu yep when James turns 6 you will have to be working. I will add to the Training Incentive Allowance. I used to work for Student Services (it is now called Studylink) we had woman ring up and have to get loans to cover the rest of their fees as the TIA dfidn't cover their fees (and this was back in 2001). TIA is about $3000 a year. At Massey at the moment your course fees for the year are about $4000+ depending on what you study. That doesn't cover books, etc so the TIA does not cover everything. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 4:03pm
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Will James go to school? If so I think its fair ... if he wont be in school that is where the system falls down.
Mummybecks ... I would be happy to get any subsidy towards study ... since anything is better than the nothing I receive ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 4:20pm
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I am the same, all of my study I have had to get a student loan for. I am elligable for a student allowance (all of $63 a week) but then if I take that we lose out on $140 of accom supliment and WFF money so not worth it. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 5:50pm
Whoah! I get $10.00 accomodation supplement  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 6:03pm
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That was before when DH wasn't working, I don't know how much it would be now we would miss out on. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 7:20am
yes he will go to school but i will be studing by then  ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 9:39am
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Lu you wil be fine as they said 15 hours working or studying. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 10:23am
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Well i sure as hell am NOT wallowing in self pity thank you very much. And as for "resenting those who arent parenting alone", i dont. I just think that those who who do have partners and seem to want to bitch about what they dont get should maybe give single parents a break, maybe we do get extra help..But even with all this help we get it still isnt that easy for us either. We arent any better off than those of you who have partners or are married.
And i didnt even know that they pay for my study fee's, i was going to get a student loan anyways. Now that i know this.. sweet.
And i dont think i would want to stay at home with my child till shes six. Stuff that. Id rather work/study as soon as i can. I think that once kids are school age its a good idea that the parent should work because alot of people are just lazy and think they can pop out kids so they dont have to get a job.
Oh and for the record, i dont get things handed to me at all!! The week i moved into my house, i had to pay the letting fee which was ALL of my money (this was after taking a WHOLE day to move from Auckland/Port Waikato/Hamilton to Tauranga -5am till 2am the next day.. can you imagine the petrol costs lol) and so i went into winz to see if i could get a food grant. Even that was a fricken mission! Why have you got no money? Letting fee Why did you come in so late? (it was about 4pm) Briahna wasnt well had to wait for my sister to COME HOME EARLY FROM WORK so she could watch her Why didnt you get a neighbour to watch her? What the f**k? Ive just moved into a new house im not leaving my daughter with strangers! Why did you move from auckland? I hated it. and it was too expensive Why did you get such an expensive house? Couldnt find anything cheaper, the house in front is a sh*t heap and FREEZING and that was 280 (ours is 295) All the while treating me like im the scum of the earth because i want to feed myself and my child? In the end i got it but not without a bloody fight.
I dont know who gets stuff "handed" to them. Cause i sure as hell dont. They wouldnt even help me with paying for a cot or anything when i was about to have Briahna. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 11:48am
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MelanieAndBree
There is only one point in your post that I dont agree entirely with and that is that a single mum on a dpb isnt any better off than a couple. I work and DH cares fulltime for Issy (it was OUR decision so we accept the consequences)....however it means that my one wage feeds/clothes/houses etc two adults and a child in Central Auckland with absolutely no government help apart from our $10.00 a week accomodation supplement...... where as your wage feeds/clothes/houses you and your daughter (who would eat a mere fraction of an adult male)...and you do this outside of Auckland where costs are astronomical. When DH worked he only earnt a fraction more than you do staying at home and getting a benefit from the government so if I had stayed home with Isabelle we would have been WAY MORE worse off than you. Apart from that I agree entirely with what you are saying, it cant be easy going cap in hand to WINZ .. however at least you can turn to them just remember most couples dont have that option. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 12:10pm
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I get just enough to live. Just. As i have bills and what not, i cant even afford to buy food and completely rely on my flat mate to pay for it with his board. Hes moving out this week too so sh*t knows what im going to do next week! lol.
Lilfatty, I understand what your saying but like you said it was your choice for your husband not to work. Maybe he should work part time? If you are that bad off, maybe him staying at home isnt the best idea? I know that my friend has 2 kids, lives with her partner and he works full time and she works part time and they are fine. They are never complaining about money troubles and its not like they are in massively high paying jobs either, she works at a supermarket at night and has their yongest during the day and the oldest goes to daycare or maybe kindy im not sure. Im not saying that everyone is like them, but you have to wonder sometimes, it could be your (meaning some people in general not aimed at ANYONE here) own fault you cant afford things, like what you spend your money on etc. Maybe if you cant afford something you shouldnt get it blah blah.
I have debt from years ago, which yes is my own fault and i am paying for it. Which is part of the reason i find it hard to live off what i get. They dont help me at all with that. Not one bit. Honestly i really would like to know these people that get things handed to them from winz aye cause id like to know how they do it! lmao (just kidding). ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 12:16pm
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Im not complaining as such ... just stating that you cant make generalisations that all couples are so much better off than you.
And dont get me wrong ... we arent starving ... lol .... we just do without the things that were normal before Isabelle arrived (insert .. beer/going out/new clothes/overseas travel)
We decided at the very beginning that we wanted our children to have a fulltime parent till they were at least school aged. As DH was only earning slightly more than people on a benefit .. .and I earnt considerably more it was a no brainer which one of us it would be staying at home - although of course I would rather it was me hehe.------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 12:28pm
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I was really aiming towards the couples that both work. Obviously, one income (unless it was huge) supporting a family is not going to go that far. I guess in my own over the top way (and im sorry if i stepped on any toes) im trying to say that maybe we do have more help, but its not because we dont need it. And i never meant that couples dont deserve it either. It just irks me that people seem to think us single parents are having a free ride and dont deserve the pittance we actually get. I dont feel sorry for myself (im over that But i think sometimes those that are married or in a relationship take it for granted. If you have never been a single parent i dont think you would understand until it happened to you (which i wouldnt wish on anyone - except maybe my horrible 'friend' that wont pay me the money she owes me and lies to winz about her "not living with her partner", then the lazy cow might wake up and realise she cant just have a free ride her whole life).
*and breathe*
------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 12:40pm
Ahahaha 
Bless ... yep I would be stuffed it wasnt for DH (and my Mum and Dad and brother who help financially support us) Although in saying that ... we count our blessings that we do actually get to stay at home with Isabelle other couples (and singles) dont have the option. I personally think that the DPB (or an equivalent) should be paid to all parents so that someone can stay at home and bring up our future leaders! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 12:54pm
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Yeah i second that. Before i had Briahna, i didnt know that couples didnt get the DPB lol. I thought it was for anyone who has a kid and stays at home with them lmao. How dumb was i.. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 1:15pm
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I know a few single mothers who have been on the DPB and I am aware of the struggles they overcome not only parenting alone but financially making ends meet. I am in full support of Mums using the helping hand of this benefit while they find their feet. However I am also in complete agreement with Nationals policy and provided they are able to support mums back into the workforce I think it can only be positive - empowering single mothers to stand on their own two feet. And also it's only a minimum of 15 hours a week!
I am also in agreement with so many other mums who share my situation. I am in a de facto relationship - we have a mortgage and 1 daughter. My partner pays the mortgage with little of his wage to spare afterwards while we have a boarder who helps us pay rates and phone and power. We were hoping to get some financial assistance so I could stay home with our daughter but we cannot get a bean! Not even a community services card. So left with no other choices I returned to work part-time and although I have found it rewarding I am envious of those who can stay at home with their kids. We are now having another baby and with this one I think we might qualify for some assistance but it will still be back to work (part-time) for me after 14 weeks. I am fortunate enough to have the help of my sister in law who IS on DPB to look after my daughter while I work -without her I couldn't do it! Who can afford daycare? Any other mums feel guilty for havin to work while their babies are so young? |