How do you know?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21025
Printed Date: 18 December 2024 at 7:04am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: How do you know?
Posted By: WRXnKids
Subject: How do you know?
Date Posted: 17 September 2008 at 9:32pm
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I been tossing up whether to post or not for a while and really dont know what i want to say but here goes.
I keep thinking i have PND but i feel like a fraud when i think i should talk to someone about it. I feel like if i told someone how i feel they would just tell me to get over myself i have everything so easy and im just being stupid. Im up and down all the time so i cant even make my mind up if i should talk to a professional or not. Can PND be up and down lots? Everytime i read symptoms of PND i dont really think they relate to me but on something the other day a lady said PND to her was like something was missing from her experience with her baby and i kind of feel the same way. I see other mums who handle everything so easily when im biting my tongue trying not to lose my temper in the same situation. I love Josh so much but as soon as he gets unsettled or hard to deal with i just want to get away from him and have a break. Im lucky cos DP and i are living with family who do all the cooking and cleaning and most days have Josh handed to them the second they get in the door and although i am generally really capable of doing it all on my own when they are away i have no idea how i am goin to cope when we get our own place or have number 2 (god that scares me even tho i really want 2 eventually). I guess i have always had this argument in my mind as i always thought i might have depression (or possibly bipolar cos when i think about it im up and down). Ive just never talked to anyone about it because i really feel like im being a drama queen instead or that thats how i will be perceived. Im so confused and im only on here asking what you all think because im scared that ive been struggling all this time when i shouldnt have been. I mean i know parenting is hard and a challenge but not like this - I even feel like a fraud writing all this. Am i nuts or do i need help? -------------   
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Replies:
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 17 September 2008 at 9:57pm
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First off big hugs and that is a huge step you have taken just talking about it. Secondly never underestimate your own thoughts and feelings. We all have stressors in our lives and while others may have very different stressors and what may look like a harder lot to deal with than what you have (eg supportive DH, living with family etc) it doesnt mean you are a drama queen and that what you are experiencing is something that may need further investigation. For sure if this is bothering you as it seems it has been I would contact your GP. It can be very hard not to but pressure on ourselves to be supermums but I think a supermum is one who tried her hardest and can admit when it is time to ask for further support whether from friends, family, health professional etc. Your an awesome mum doing a great job and boy is it the hardest job ever, our babies dot even come with manuals....talk about getting ripped off I mean they are all so different that with each and everyone it can sometimes be a mind field in the middle of a hurricane or a relaxed walk in the park lol (ok so IM not good at using words lol). Take care and I wouldnt think you were a drama queen at all for seeing someone about how you are feeling. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 17 September 2008 at 11:57pm
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I think that the fact that you have/are having these thoughts and feelings ongoing means that you need to talk to someone. It doesn't mean that you need to fit into a box with a lable weather it be pnd, depression, bi-polar or what ever, you are having doubts about yourself and your capabilities and if nothing else you need someone on your side and some reassurance. Living with family so close has a lot of good points but it also does have its downsides and you are already building the fear of moving out to your own place, with 1 or 2 kiddies, into a huge mountain and if your doing that now it will seem like an unclimbable mound by the time you end up doing it. You have not had the chance to prove to yourself how good a mum you can be as you have had the family close and (by the sounds of your post) you have not had the room to grow into being a mum who has had to depend on herself to get thru the day. Sometimes I think more people helping and stepping in (or knowing that they will be there at a certin time) makes us feel less efficient as a mum and a person which can then lead to us doubting our abilities. Enjoy the people and help you have around you at the moment, find someone you can talk to about your feelings - your GP or ask for some help finding someone, trust yourself a bit more and believe in yourself. Keep posting, keep talking, dont give up until you find someone who is ready to listen to what you have to say as it is important!!! ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 18 September 2008 at 6:21pm
 lots of hugs, wrx.
I think you are an awesome mum, and no it's not an easy job at all! I know how you feel with thinking that other people are finding it a lot easier to deal with things than you are, at times... sometimes I just think I wasn't made to be a mum! I've had a heap of support and sometimes feel like I'm a fraud too... I still wonder if I have PND even though I'm on antidepressants! I'm feeling a heap better since being on them, coping a lot better with everything... but I think it's a combination of things that have improved, not just being on the antidepressants, but I'm not going to stop taking them just in case it IS them that is helping too 
Anyway I don't really know what I wanted to say, I just wanted to offer you some hugs and support. And let you know that I think most mums have really up and down days, from what I gather. I know that I do. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 3:43pm
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TA I just found this but for what it's worth I didn't fit a lot of the symptoms either but I definitely had it (easy to see in hindsight only though).
I hope by now you've had a talk to the GP - I think it's worth doing that. But regardless big big -------------  
 
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 10 October 2008 at 11:59am
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Well i never got a chance to see the GP cos we were on holiday but these last few weeks have been heaps better i feel like im coping heaps better and i dont get so frustrated with josh when he is upset. Its like everything has kinda clicked and fell into place. I dont even know what has caused it but i even less stressed about the fact we have 2 weeks to decided where we will live and work before i notify work. Does PND just clear like that? Maybe it was something else (or i really am mildly bipolar and am having my high time). Oh well im happy with the way everything is now but will get help if it happens again.
Thanks for the kind words and support and sorry i took so long to update. -------------
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