Dont know what to do
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22523
Printed Date: 22 December 2024 at 12:52pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Dont know what to do
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Subject: Dont know what to do
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 4:35pm
| . |
Replies:
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 5:13pm
Hi hun, I don't really know what to say not having been through this, but it must be awful  and I didn't want to read and run. So I just wanted to send you big virtual hugs  and say next time I'm out your way (at my SIL's in Puni) maybe we should organise a play date for Caden & JJ to give you a bit of a break.------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: MonicaMouse
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 5:26pm
|
It's such a hard step to take admitting that you might have this. I know I lived in denial for a while, and Blair was just a bit younger than Caden is now (if memory serves me right) when things cranked up.
Good for you talking to your Mum about it all, It can be a tough, scary time. I totally understand you feeling like you hating who you are right now. Somedays it seems like no matter what we do with our little ones, it's not right, all they want to do is scream and cry (and I have to admit once when B cried, so did I - it was all I could do) Take things easy, I found suddenly not making big plans, and having some major chill out (1/2 PJ days) who cares if the housework isn't done as long as we're feed and 'watered' and warm days helped a little bit. I also contacted MMH who helped me see my way straight with a couple of things, and made a couple of suggestions too. Celebrate the small achievements, and take each day as it comes. We're here if you need or want to chat ------------- 
Blair 15/10/2007 Daniel 30/07/2009 |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 5:49pm
| . |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 6:21pm
|
big hugs to you, and yah for knowing something was up and talking to someone, have you thought about going to the doctors and talking to them, im not suggesting you need to take antidepressants but taking to the doctor will give you a good idea on how to go from here
am thinking of you my friend ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 6:28pm
|
Hi Sheena
I could have written your post I had AND and PND and had been over it for a while, but lately I've just been wanting to go out and work so someone else can deal with Jack. Which of course is not what I want, but its hard to think rationally when you've got so much to contend with.
I really feel for you hun, but I'm glad you've talked to your mum about it, honestly having your mum around helps so much! No matter how old we get we always want our mummies 
Have you talked to your doctor? St John's Wort is good for mild depression and then of course there's the prescription meds (if you want to go down that track at all). Also I found cutting out sugary foods was good so as not to get the highs and lows of that, and leaving the house once a day, even if its just around the corner, or going for a drive around the block (that option is great if you look like crap and don't want to bump into anyone!). Anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm here if you ever want to chat 
|
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 6:31pm
|
Oh and just wanted to say... Caden will still love you even if you have those fleeting thoughts and the lovely thing is that while its hard dealing with them when they're screaming (poor Caden and mummy!), the smiles and giggles, and milestones, are therapeutic for you. Take it easy and don't expect to be supermum, cos Caden isn't going to care what you or he is wearing, what the house looks like or anything like that, but I bet he'd love mummy just blobbing around with him for a few days
|
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 November 2008 at 10:34pm
| . |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 18 November 2008 at 1:33am
|
Hey Sheena, its a huge step to actually get to this point and you have done sooo well to get here. You may find this link helpful http://www.tabs.org.nz/ - http://www.tabs.org.nz/ When you are talking to your mw ask about a getting help from plunket, I think you need to be referred before you Caden is 12mths for help from them, may be quicker than getting into MMH, also ask about getting some councilling to work thru the birth if your mw cant help with that then speak to your GP. One thing that has helped me along the natural remadies, (I have been off precription meds since xmas last year) I have been taking Res-V Plus, My mum heard about it on news talk ZB, Lani Lopez has a slot on one of the afternoon shows, you can also read about it on http://www.abouthealth.co.nz - www.abouthealth.co.nz it does say not to take while preg or breast feeding but I think that is more that they havn't any stats/testing done on results. I have been taking it all thru my pregnancy and this one being the best I have felt out of the 3, I also emailed Lani to see what contraindications, this is the reply Hello Kerryn It’s lovely to hear that you feel great while taking Res-V Plus. We do not recommend you take Res-V Plus while you are pregnant. In theory there is no toxicity or adverse effects that can happen during pregnancy however we do not have the research papers to prove the safety and efficacy during pregnancy or breastfeeding (even though I took it during mine). There are many things you can do to support your pregnancy and moods. Talk to a naturopath to help you through this transition. You can visit some health stores and pharmacies that have instore naturopaths and or you can visit wlmailhtml:AC946340-5CA8-4CB1-BBB9-ED10E7F950F0mid://00000141/!x-usc:http://www.naturopath.org.nz/ - www.naturopath.org.nz . Best wishes Lani Lopez I have continued to take it and all is great, yep I still get my bad days but there are far more better times than bad & I notice if I miss taking them for a day or so. Sorry this is such a long post but it is hard to condense things sometimes, keep talking to people and don't feel ashamed to ask for help or tell someone you are feeling crap*y if they ask, most people wont see what is going on in your mind or know how you are feeling until you are able to tell them. You may be surprised to see where the help will come from Good luck and hope you start seeing better days more often soon!! ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: josephnia
Date Posted: 18 November 2008 at 10:06am
|
Hey Sheena
I just wanted to say that I think alot of us have felt or do feel exactly the same. I know for me that I put so much pressure on myself trying to be the perfect mum for Blake because I feel that's what he deserves but in doing that it stresses me out and makes me anxious which totally defeats the purpose! I had NO idea how hard being a mum would be but I really found that talking about how I felt and realising that I don't have to be superwoman helped heaps. I know you love Caden and are doing an awesome job 
-------------  
|
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 18 November 2008 at 3:36pm
|
We are here to talk if you need to I take fish oil tabs & muliti vits to keep me well ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 18 November 2008 at 9:59pm
|
Hugs Sheena, and well done for admitting to yourself that something is up - that can be the hardest part and the sooner you get there, the easier it is to get things back on track.
Hope it went well with your midwife today. Like a couple of the others have said, I've found MMH to be a great source of support over the past few months, I really regret not getting in touch with them sooner. And like Emz said, Caden will still love you no matter what. I've had some pretty complex bonding/attachment issues with the gremlins as a result of AND/PTSD and we're working on that with a child psychologist but they've told us that even tho *I* feel like I haven't bonded with the girls and things aren't great, they are completely oblivious and are well and truly bonded to me. Kids just know intuitively that you love them, even if you don't always know it yourself! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 11:28pm
| . |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 2:51pm
|
Hugs Sheza It's only natural to get stressed and down sometimes, especially if your little bubba is worked up. And if the birth didn't go according to plan, it can sometimes feel a bit like NOTHING is, when bubs is screaming. Sounds like you have plans to get on top of it though Motherhood is a tough road sometimes, when you are wearing your heart out on your sleeve all the time! And when the success of your day seems to revolve around a little individual, who is programmed to cry at just about anything!
Take it easy and remember that Caden is just crying because he's a baby, and that's how babies express themselves. Don't make the mistake of taking his crying personally, like I did with Chloe!! Sometimes there is nothing that you can do and boy does that suck. But it's something that all Mum's will have in common with you, that we all feel like nothing is in our control sometimes when it comes to our parenting.
I'm glad to hear you sounding more positive! xoxox ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: LovelyMummy
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 9:47am
| Big hugs Sheena, I hope you are feeling better |