Saying Please
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22584
Printed Date: 05 December 2024 at 2:36am
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Topic: Saying Please
Posted By: FionaS
Subject: Saying Please
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:00pm
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Funny how I always seem to post multiple questions when Elle goes through a period of long nightwakings!
Does your toddler say please when they want something? I'm sure Elle knows what please means. If I play a game where I say "can you say cat?" she says cat, "can you say dog" she says dog, "can you say please?" She says no and grins! Whenever she asks for something she whines about it. I've been getting tough but she will not budge! So I guess I'm wondering if 2 is too early to say please? ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Replies:
Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:21pm
I always make DD say please and thankyou, I dont think it's ever to early to learn manners.
Most of the time she says it unprompted which is great. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:23pm
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Jack would never say please or thank you either. Even now he says it but still has to be reminded most of the time. Same with thank you, he does say excuse me a lot tho which is nice.
I think it doesn't really matter if they don't repeat it when asked its more that you get it into their head when is the time to be saying it and then eventually they will? I don't know I'm just hoping lol |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 10:12pm
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I don't think 2 is too early Fiona, by the sounds of it Elle knows exactly what you are talking about and it's just another way of 'playing' us mums!! It has been eaiser with Anastasia because "mother hen" Ashlyn does a lot of the teaching - good and bad, but we found it was just a matter of prompting the girls at the right time and not giving up - it has paid off for us and most of the time the girls use their manners except when trying to wind us up. ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 10:14pm
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Rhyley knows please normally gets him what he wants - he is very good at asking for things like Busciut please etc... and he says 'q' for thank you - which I must work on. He also knows to say sorry when he has hurt someone or done something naughty that he has to go to naughty corner for.
Some children can be rather stuborn and I don't want to tell you how 'i; would do it cause what works for me might not for you.... ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
876 |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 10:24pm
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I decided I wouldn't give her a muslin until she said please today. She was whining on and on "muzzzzy, muzzzy". She refused to say please and screamed and screamed until she broke out in hives on her face! Oh my goodness!
Could she be THAT stubborn or does she really not get it. Whenever I remind her to say please she just says "yes". She seems so bright and so good at communication and yet...well, doesn't get some very basic things. It is odd. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 7:59am
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Sounds like she is getting it, but is being stubborn!
Isla doenst get anything without saying please, and weve been like that for a few months now,..but its only been just lately that shes started saying please without us prompting her to say it each time. |
Posted By: baalamb
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 8:01am
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Ashlee says please and thank you unprompted now, and has for a while, so 2 isn't too early. Persistence is key, and like Rhyley, Ash knows that saying please gets her what she wants! Lots of praise after she uses her manners helps reinforce it. Sounds like Elle knows what she's doing! If I were you, I wouldn't give in until she said it. Might seem mean, but hopefully she'll get the picture soon that throwing a tantrum takes a longer time than saying please and getting what she wants straight away.
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Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 8:23am
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I agree that 2 isn't too early. Amy was quite late with talking but still managed to have her version of please and thank you. It sounded like peas and sa. Now she is getting much clearer and is getting better at saying them unprompted.
I make sure that I say please and thank you a lot when she is with me and helping out just to show her where they are used. Sound like Elle is very smart and has a pretty *strong* character  . Just keep at it  !!-------------   
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 8:25am
both my kids say please and thankyou...but it seems to happen more when they aren't prompted. if they don't say it and i remind them, it can take a while for it to come out
i can remember one time when jack was almost 2, he wanted something and he wasn't saying please, even though he usually did. i wasn't going to give in and had to wait 30mins before he finally said it!  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 9:34am
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A few months ago I thought Alyssa would never use please or thank you either, but I just kept persisting and now she often uses both of them with no prompting (of course, not always). I think they just do it when they feel like it, and Elle is such a clever cookie I'm sure she knows what it means and is just being stubborn
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Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 10:11am
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She is testing you Fiona - and they really know how to push right to the limits, be strong and good luck ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 10:15am
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We still have to remind Charlotte sometimes to say please and thank you. Please comes a lot more easily from her cause she knows she will get something but she pretty much always forgets to say Thank you. Its all work in progress! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 11:05am
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Tom has started to say Ta.....sometimes unprompted which really impresses me...but he has also worked out that "Ta" might just get what you want so he says it when he wants somethign too. I am working on please, sounds like "cheese" so I let him off if he says "cheese". Like you, I noticed he can say it when he isnt wanting something and its just copying a word but if he has to say it he WONT!!!
One thing I thought of is do we ALWAYS say please and thankyou with them and with others? I know I dont and I have to make an effort or how can I expect him to.
Bottom line...2 is not too young....just dont expect it everytime and give lots of praise when she does. |
Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 11:14am
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Ella is like Tom and says Ta when she wants something or instead of saying thank you. She does think that just because she says Ta it means she can have whatever she wants through ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 11:43am
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So does that mean I need to leave her screaming her eyes out (and getting covered in stress hives - which she had never had before!)??
She seemed too worked up to be able to reason or say please yesterday. She used to say thank you all the time but it has now stopped too. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 12:53pm
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Its up to you Fiona, you know Elle best some children are just easier than others so what works for them might not work for Elle. Maybe wait until she manages to say it herself and then get strict on it. I know with Jack forcing something never works.
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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 1:16pm
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yep I agree with Rach&Jack, you cant force her to say anything, all you can do is role model the behaviour ie: when you give her something say "thanks mum" or the good old "what do you say?". We did this with Leo and most of the time he does it unprompted now, problem is he now thinks if he says please and bats his eyelashes he can get anything he wants lol. Good luck Fiona, sounds like you have one determined wee girl there!! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 1:38pm
| I'd pick my battles on this one and maybe just say " say please" everytime you expect it but still give her the item anyway followed by "thank you mummy" ..if you dont make a big deal she may just start to cotton on. Making a big deal of it might be becoming a battle of wills and sorry to say, popping out the hives card will beat you any day! |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 1:49pm
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Yeap she is strong willed! If she senses we really want her to do somthing she has an iron will and will refuse. If we stay casual she will eventually catch give in LOL. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 3:09pm
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Leahs pretty good and says it most of the time unprompted, but will say it straight away if I have to remind her. Also if she is trying to give me something and i'm not paying attention I hear "thank you Leah" and she is reminding me to say thank you to her for whatever she was doing....very cute. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 8:07pm
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I know shes stubborn (well sounds it) but go on as yo umean to - I don't mean you are always going to give in to her stubborness but if she was a teenager and did that (and she well could) you wouldn't stand for it....
When rhyley doesn't say Thank you (or please although hes pretty good at that) I first say 'What do you say" if he doesnt say it I tell him to give me it back (what ever it is) he normally does say "Q" BUT there has been times he hasnt and so I have taken it off him - he will get upset but normally manages a thank Q and if not hes not got it.... You could just say after she ask for it 'what the magic word' and make a game of it.... or the straight to the point of 'If you say Please....you can have it" if she throws a tanty walk away and leave her to it - if she follows you say 'Say please' Don't give her the attention about it - unless its life or death she doesnt need to have what she is throwing a tanty for because she won't use her manner.... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
876 |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 9:21pm
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We've started teaching Noah to say please and hes slowly getting the idea. I don't think your too early at all Fiona. Elle will get the idea. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 9:44pm
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Elle is just stubborn :)
At her 2nd b'day it came time to sing happy b'day and although she loves being the centre of attention and loves singing happy birthday, I obviously sounded too eager when I said "come here Elle everyone is going to sing happy birthday" as she suddenly went from being very compliant to sitting on the floor refusing to move! Everyone sung to her while she sat at the other end of the house being stubborn LOL. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: emmakate
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 9:28pm
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i've just started indie a month or so ago on the please and thank yous'. i just made a 'sign' to go with the words (baby sign i think but you can make up what ever!!)
so "please" - i hold my hand flat, about an inch away from my chest and make circular motion ( kinda like 'i'm hungry' but higher up.) "thankyou" - hold your hand open, (palm facing you) fingertips touching your chin and then bring it out in front of you. (it's kinda hard to explain actions!!) anyway, this worked for me and indie. in the beginning if she wanted something i'd say please and make the action, and she'd copy the action and then get what she wanted. slowly she started saying the word too. so now it's unprompted most of the time and if she forgets i just make the action and she remembers the word 'please or thank you'. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 10:02pm
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Well I am glad to report that Miss stubborn said please several times today and was delighted with my over enthusiastic congratulatory response :)
Mean mummy has won (this time!!) ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 10:23pm
YAY Fiona  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
876 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 10:04am
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Yay Fiona!! And I don't think you're being mean mummy at all. Saying please and thank you I feel are important manners and as another mum said to me yesterday it's so important to teach them good manners right from the very start.
Maddie says please and thank you and in the last few weeks has often started to say both unprompted. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 10:37am
| Yay go Fiona! I agree with Paws,..its just another inportant thing we need teach them from an early age! It has derfiantly imporved our manners too, as we are much more aware of saying please and thank you to each other too! |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 4:46pm
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Yay Fiona, nice to know that all we say to our wee darlings isn't falling on deaf ears! ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 9:35pm
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Kahtrell says please excessively when he wants a drink!. He sometimes says thank you after things have been given to him. ------------- 
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Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 1:16pm
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Aw yay that is great progress
We have always just said please and thank you to our boy when he is supposed to do it. He will now say please unpromted and just needs a slight reminder every now and again to say thank you. He knows if he wants something he has to ask nicely! lol even when somthing is difficult he says P L E A S E help me really scartastily (sp?) but it means the same I think lol ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 4:58pm
| Isabella says please when prompted but not a chance she'll say "thankyou" - it doesnt matter how much you beg, plead, remind, cajole... we're hoping she'll do it eventually if we just keep saying it. |