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wedding - donation gift - how much??

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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22872
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Topic: wedding - donation gift - how much??
Posted By: Candkids
Subject: wedding - donation gift - how much??
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:22pm
ok so we have 6 weddings to go to between jan and march
all of them have asked for
"a donation into their wishing well" which im ok with apart from 1 whos always flaunting how "better off they are" than everyone else.

but how much are you suposto put in??? has anyone done this?

and 6 weddings is getting a tad expensive also

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http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
DD 10.5yrs
DS 6yrs
DS 11mths
5 little angles watching from above



Replies:
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:31pm
Is it anonymous? if it is then i say put as much as you feel your able to afford

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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:32pm
We asked for vouchers from farmers for our wedding and got amounts ranging from $20 to $200 so I think whatever you can is ok. It all adds up for the couple


Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:42pm

Depends how well you know them. We had 2 weddings in 2006 around the same as ours and we spend $50 on each as we know them really well, and still have a lot to do with them. Will you have a lot to do with them after the wedding - maybe give those couples a bit more.



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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!


Posted By: Muz
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:43pm
We normally give $50 in that situation - have only had it requested twice tho - but to have 6 couples requesting that is amazing - must be the thing to do these days!!!!!!


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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:47pm
Its always a bit weird when the people know exactly how much you gave them as they normally do when its a donation. We normally spend around $75-$100 on wedding presents so would probably dot he same with $ if that what they asked for.
The last time we went to a wedding it was my bf's wedding, we were living in London and earning heaps, I flew home for 2 weeks to be bridesmaid, and for their gifts they asked guests to put money into their honeymoon account at the travelagents- we gave $300 but to us it was like $100 cos it was 100 pounds and I was earning 24 pounds an hr.

ETA- If we had 6 weddings coming up soon, thhey would be getting more like $50 each. We only have one tho, in April, and we will prob give $100 presnet, plus have to pay travel and accomadation and will prob pay accomadation for my parents to come too to look after Isla.


Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 7:07pm
Yikes! 6 weddings!

I came home for one wedding earlier this year and we gave $100 and I also gave the couple (close friends of ours) a bottle of champers for their wedding night. The bride was my bridesmaid a couple of months later. Depending on whether it was family, close friends on friends we'd probably give between $50 - $100. If we were going to 6 weddings in row I'd be leaning towards the $50 mark for most of them unless they were all VERY close friends or my sister or brother!

We had a wishing well for our wedding in March and received anything from $20 - $1000 (generous Grandad!!!). We appreciated EVERYTHING people gave us especially as everyone travelled to our wedding.

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SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010


Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 7:10pm

We got married 2 weeks ago and when people asked what we wanted we asked for vouchers, didn't matter what for or where from, it just meant that we could get something we really wanted or needed instead of ending up with things that we didn't need, no matter how lovely the gift.

We got amounts ranging from $30 from friends to $200 from family, and my parents got us outdoor furniture and DH's parents gave us $1000.

I know when we had to give money or vouchers, one couple we gave $30 to, but weren't such good friends, and $60 to other friends who we are pretty close to, and if we had extra money would have given more to.



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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 9:30pm
I agree, give what you can afford. They usually have envelopes by the "wishing well" so it's totally your call, from memory we didn't even name our envelope, but gave a card and on the back of the card I wrote that we had contributed to the wishing well....(we gave $50)

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Mr Mellow (16)
Miss Attitude (8)
Destructa Kid (3)



Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 9:39pm
3 weddings are family and now 4(another arrived today) are friends.
id much perfer vouchers to give them as ive always thought it a bit rude to TELL people to give you money.
1 of the family ones actually live in aussie and are just coming home to get married my cuz has gone wayyyy OTT planning it so i can understand that they want money as it would be a bit hard flying home with lots of pressies.
and 1 other family member only invited ME despite being god mother to 1 of my kids which really hacked me off and are also really well off so i dont really want to give them money but guess ill have to.



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http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
DD 10.5yrs
DS 6yrs
DS 11mths
5 little angles watching from above


Posted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 9:40pm

We have had 2 wedding recently and both were of quite close friends, we gave both vouchers for $100 from Mitre 10, as they have both recently brought DIY homes. We figure a good night out with meal and dancing and drinks would generally cost us at least $100. Although I am sure the wedding we went to on Friday would have been much more than that! but I am a cheap date at the moment! Neither asked for anything specific but it is getting harder to buy gifts now that most of our friends have lived together for quite a while before they have got married. DHand I got married straight out of uni and had not lived together so we got heaps of house stuff which was great. We also often pitch in with groups of friends and buy things like outdoor stuff, BBQs etc

6 is a lot, we couldn't afford to give all $100, I think it would come down to how close we are and how much time etc we spend with them.



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Our con-joined boys 20 wk


Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:10pm
If you don't want to give money what about a Prezzy card (they'd know the amount) or even a gift card from somewhere else? Thats if you don't mind them knowing the amount???

We've got a wedding in January down in Q'Town, so we've had to pay our airfares and accomodation and will contribute to their wishing well.... not sure how much we'll give them either.

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Mr Mellow (16)
Miss Attitude (8)
Destructa Kid (3)



Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 11:44pm
We had our wishing well and had little envelopes and of course we had a fair bit in there, but the people who wanted to put their money in with their cards, other's stuck it in the envelopes, whatever they themselves could afford. We had a few very very close family members give $100 each, but mostly was around $20 to $40.... it all adds up, we ended up with just under a grand.    

Go with what you can afford, and also how well you know them etc i think. I'd probably be inclined to do $40-$50, as a 'once-er' but then for 6 weddings, it would be rather pricey... maybe $20?

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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja



Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 12:32am
Yeah I totally agree- give what you can afford. Good friends would only want that and anyone who is put out by smaller amounts isn't worth spending your money on!

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Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3



Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 7:31am
Absolutely give what you can afford. With the presents we got at our wedding, I know that their value didn't affect my appreciation! We got some expensive things that were lovely to recieve - but some smaller items which have just as much meaning. I'm sure your friends will feel the same (and if they don't that really is their problem!).

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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 12:56pm
I would suggest deciding how much you can afford to spend in total fotr all the weddings then either divide it evenly or give those close a little more than others who may just be aquintences (sp??) or distant family. The pressie cards are a good idea if you don't mind them knowing the amount.

We don't go to many weddings but generally I spend about $50, depending on our circumstances at the time and who it is. For my Bro and SIL I was a bridesmaid and after paying for my dress (I offered) and other bits and pieces plus being 7mths pg so going down to 1 wage soon we couldn't afford much. We bought them a bottle of "No 1", it's a bubbles (can't remember the winery) and I attached a card to say that it wasn't to be opened until their 1st wedding ann., I think they quite liked that and it didn't really cost me that much

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Lindsey




Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 1:37pm
At the one we went to recently, Ben was one of the groomsmen and had put a bit of money into some of the things already so I put $30 from me, its how much I would spend on a nice meal out and its all we could afford. We all just put our money straight into the well and they couldn't tell who gave how much anyway.



Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 2:21pm
We usually spend/give $100 on a wedding gift, but if I had 6 coming up in such a short space of time I'd be re-thinking that! Give what you can afford - you won't enjoy giving it if it's beyond your means anyway (except I'd be sorely tempted to be more budget-conscious for the couple who keep bragging about how much better off they are! Ha ha). We got mostly Harvey Norman vouchers for ours, and they were from $40 - $100 each... though there was a $20 voucher for somewhere else, I recall. It all adds up nicely

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Andie


Posted By: mrsturtle
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 3:00pm
We have been asked to give harvey norman vouchers for a wedding we have in feb id say we will do $50 it dose seem to be the in thing now days people mustnt want 6 toasters or cheese boards anymore!!! i must say we have a very good stock of serving platters from our wedding!


Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 8:06pm
Yup I also say give what you can affford we live on a pretty tight budget as it is and had two recently and could only afford to give $20 as others have said it all adds up at the end of the day and I'm sure they would not want you to go broke for them

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Posted By: reblinn267083
Date Posted: 23 July 2021 at 7:30am
Hey! A wedding is actually a great reason for joy)) But I think that modern women do not always want a serious relationship. Have you noticed this trend? I started chatting on the https://www.flirtymature.com/mature-women-dating.html" rel="nofollow - Flirtymature website recently. It turned out that many people just want an easy relationship. Can you guess why this is happening? Are people tired of responsibility?



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