Dad’s to stay away from the delivery room
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Topic: Dad’s to stay away from the delivery room
Posted By: margipargi
Subject: Dad’s to stay away from the delivery room
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 12:06pm
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You can view it online http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=10603977 - here
Personally, i want my partner in the room, but what is everone elses views? |
Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 12:15pm
Yep same as me. I needed him there for moral support & for someone I could hurt! I didn't let him go down the business end but he was there and very good at taking nice photos  ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 1:07pm
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We discussed this at my stretch class this morning and one of the ladies was explaining that it was on talkback and Michael Laws had made a good point that we are all intelligent women and we can surely decide whether or not we want the partner there or not!
I for one am definitely keen on DP being there I think he will be the best support I can have, and I think its an experience we should do together, he feels the same way too! ------------- 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 1:44pm
Is this the same guy who told woman that you had to go though a painfull labour to bond with your baby ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 2:29pm
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I want DP in the room when i give birth. I think i will be alot more stressed without him there. and i don't know about you other ladies but i know DP a hell of a lot better than i know the MW. -------------  http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 2:33pm
Er, how DH was feeling was the last thing on my mind! ------------- 
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article wrote:Posted By: Twinkle1
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 2:59pm
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Definately want DH there! Its just as much his occassion as mine! I would never think of denying him the birth of our child. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Twinkle1
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 3:00pm
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Plus I agree with you GonnaBeAMum, I'd be a lot more stressed without him there than if he is. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
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Posted By: first
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 7:43pm
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Wow can't believe that its being suggested its better the dad isn't there. My DH was such a support during labour if only to know that he was there. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 4:52am
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eh, mine was uselss. HE vomitted up all throguh my bathroom in the birthing room, got a blood nose and was sent away to lie down. In fact, the only time I used the buzzer to call the MW waswhen he was sick and could barely walk!
When it came to pushing, he came back, I dont think a word was said between us, I was far too preoccupied and didnt use his hadnd even queeze. But he did take some awesome photos...that made up for it. however....reading that article...some people think far too much into things! |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 8:49am
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Interesting. From my experience I totally disagree with all his comments and theories. However, that is my personal experience so may well not be true for everyone. DH had a very calming effect on me and I may go as far as to say I may have been anxious without him. I wasn't / an not scared of labour or the pain but having DH there was extra helpful in keeping calm and remembering to relax and breathe.
------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 9:09am
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My Dh would quite happily not be in the delivery room, but not much chance he'll get out of it. He helped make bubs he can be there when he/she arrives.
I've read different research which suggests skin to skin with Dad during the first few minutes of life is great for bonding for Dads and babies. I like that idea more. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 12:49pm
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I have not read the article yet, will do now but just on what mrsg1 said... I had an emergency c-section and would have been hysterical if DH wasnt there to be the "strong" one. I felt calm because he was calm. Turns out he was packing himself that we were both going to die.
I wasnt able to hold my son for 2 hours after he was born but DH had skin to skin with him 5 minutes after he was born. If he wasnt there Jake wouldnt have been held by a parent for 2 hours! Right now to read the article... -------------   
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 12:58pm
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Well DH didnt cause my section LOL!
I will say that having a loonnnnggg induction I was feeling a bit bad for DH cos he was exhausted. I know some people will say I was the one doing all the work but I didnt feel tired AT all. He was shattered, I actually thinking it can be far more draining on your support people as they dont have all the hormones charging through their bodies. But eh, DH will be there next time but more in the background as I will be having a doula. DH was a bit useless LOL. I will need him if things go pear shaped again. -------------
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Posted By: Treen
Date Posted: 25 October 2009 at 9:07pm
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When I first started reading this article my initial reaction was "that's absurd!" But then as much as I hate to admit it, I do have to agree with one point. I can totally sense when DH is stressed. It makes me stressed 10 x more than what he is. Even if I have no idea what it is he's stressed about. I also did feel a tad guilty at the comment about men feeling the social pressure to be there as I have to admit, part of me has always wanted him there so he can see the pain I have to go through.
I told DH about the article expecting an angry "I have every right to be there!" kind of response as he is a total control freak. However I was extremely surprised when DH sort of agreed with the article and admitted to being petrified about our upcoming birth. If this article had never come out, we would never have discussed it and things may have even gotten to the vomiting stage that Kate went through! I don't really think I need DH there and I would definitely prefer it if he wasn't there if he's going to stress me out. I've told him this as I don't want him feeling pressured to be there. It's now his choice rather than my expectation. I quite like the idea of a doula, too Mel. So do you have a doula and a midwife? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 26 October 2009 at 10:00pm
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Yup, you still have a mw the doula is there ourely for support. The wil come to you earlier to help you labour until your mw is needed. -------------
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 27 October 2009 at 7:09pm
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The thing I didn't like about this article was the sweeping generalizations made.
I'm one who would be more stressed and my DH would be more stressed, if he weren't there. He wants to be there, I want him there, it works for us. However....stress can cause issues in labour, there is no doubt about that. So if your DH is making you stressed or if he doesn't want to be there then he should have the option to not be. It comes down to choice, as the article mentioned, it's important to have the best birth support possible and that may be the DH. I don't agree with saying that he HAS to be there though. Again, it is about choice. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Turtle
Date Posted: 28 October 2009 at 11:19am
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I haven't been through labour yet, but fully intend for my DH to be there the entire time. I can't imagine him not being there?
I have read other things though about how having different males in the room can stress the woman in labour or affect her labour. But this was meaning random doctors who you haven't met before suddenly appearing in the room in the middle of things. |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 28 October 2009 at 11:49am
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I think Paws put it very nicely. I want DH to be there, and he wants to be there. He's the best person I could imagine for support and he couldn't imagine not being there so its a no brainer really.
That said, if he didn't want to be there, he wouldn't be much support to me, and I'd rather have someone there who wanted to be there. Absolutely it should be about choice. For some couples the dad is the perfect support person. For other couples he's not. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 28 October 2009 at 2:45pm
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First time round as most of you know DH caused all the problems so I can definitely see Odents point.
This time round DP doesn't want to be there during the birth and I feel the same way as Treen - I pick up on his stress and I'd rather he wasn't there if he isn't gonna be happy bout it. If I need him we've agreed that I take priority but if things are going well I certainly wouldn't force him to stay with me. Its not gonna make him any less of a father if he doesn't cut the cord. Hmmm a doula huh? That appeals... -------------   
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 October 2009 at 3:18pm
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My Dh was useless, he was green during my elective c/s with Spencer, but did get to have first cuddles and go over to see him being weighed/cleaned etc. With Kyle he nearly fainted when the guy came to do the epi and then when it got to the pushing stage (and my epi had worn off) he ended up sitting on the floor at the head end of the bed and was unable to help me in anyway. I don't think him being there made my birth longer or more stressful and he was a help in the earlier stages but at the same time he wasn't a calming influence or a rock to lean on etc.
He actually didn't want to be at either birth and only came cos I told him he had to, he made himself physically ill and I feel pretty bad about it now. However we have no family out here and I didn't/don't feel close enough to anyone else to want them to see me in labour but my mw with Kyle was so awesome that on reflection I would have been happy if DH had been outside and came in once baby was out and I was somewhat cleaned up that way he could have still had cuddles within a few mins of the birth. But you don't know till you are there and my mw with Spencer was useless and I would have hated it if DH had left me alone (me mw didn't come to Spencer's birth). But yeah in the article it is a bit sweeping and I think it depends on the husband or couple as to what works best. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 05 November 2009 at 10:19am
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I'd be lost without him, he had to be there.
I have anxiety, he's the only person who can really deal with that if something goes wrong. -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 05 November 2009 at 11:14am
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For us, DH wanted to be there and I wanted him there. During Ollie's labour he had a to leave at one point to go get something to eat and I definitely felt more anxious without him there. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 1:49pm
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I was just thinking about this the other day, if something happened and DH couldnt be with me at the birth of our next baby, I dont know how I would do it. In saying that, when I was in labour with DS, DH was FANTASTIC!!! But I think I came to rely on him too much. When things started getting complicated, and labour was going backwards, I had to turn things around and rely entirely on myself to get things going again. My mw said afterwards that if I had continued to rely on DH to try and make me feel better I would have ended up being transferred for a c-sect. Instead I had a beautiful calm natural birth (with no drugs!!!)
But it really is something that someone has a right to tell you who should be there and who shouldnt, it is a very personal situation!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD Savannah 18.01.04 DS Austin 04.09.08 |
Posted By: babybaby
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 6:50pm
I definitely will have him there for me when our baby is due. I would be so nervous without him there waiting to cut the cord  .
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