ADHD
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31571
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Topic: ADHD
Posted By: Jay_R
Subject: ADHD
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 1:56pm
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Do any of you lovely ladies have children who have been identified as having ADHD?
I've just spoken to my son's daycare and they think he might have it. I'm not sure I agree. I mean, yes, he is a bit of a handful at times, but no more than most 3 year olds I'm sure. Can anyone who has a child with ADHD possibly let me know what I should be looking out for, and what can be done to help them (without drugs). Thanks 
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Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 2:33pm
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You can look at diet.
Get the book out of your local library "Fed up with ADHD" by Sue Dengate. IS worth a read. eta: I read this cover to cover when I saw that my DD had ADHD tendencies, learning & behaviour. We've had dramatic improvements by changing her diet. If you want any help, we've been eating this way for 10 months now. A couple of simple changes might help or you might need more dramatic changes or you might need to go down the drug path. Why do they say he is ADHD? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 2:36pm
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Wow, that's a bit of a surprise! What ADHD indicators have they identified? I don't know much about it but I have read about dietary changes that can help (I know he has a pretty good diet already but it's worth looking into) . I just googled ADHD diet and found a few links try these ones: http://www.healthcastle.com/adhd_diet.shtml - http://www.healthcastle.com/adhd_diet.shtml http://www.everydiet.org/diet/adhd-diet - http://www.everydiet.org/diet/adhd-diet Call me later if you want to chat -------------  
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 3:14pm
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I know Jo, I got a bit of a shock too. I just called to see how he was doing today and got an earbashing from the centre director!
Personally, I don't think he has ADHD. I think he has tendencies towards naughtiness (ahem, quite like his mummy actually), but my belief is that we are dealing with a little boy who has high intelligence, is not overly stimulated at daycare, and is actually bored sh*tless whilst there. He has a very good diet, minimal in the way of artificial colourings and sweeteners at home, and really the only thing I can think of is that I should include Omega-3 supplements and possibly get him tested for gluten intolerence. But then, his daycare said he's "socially unacceptable" at the moment, cos he won't sit down properly when asked, and refuses a lot of the food they provide (can't blame him there, I would too - the food is beyond bad half the time!). And that kind of makes me angry actually. I don't appreciate labels like "socially unacceptable" being put on my child. Most of all, because he is not. He is such a friendly, kind hearted little guy, who might bop a kid sometimes when playtime turns to custard, but what kid at 3 doesn't??? I dunno... maybe I think my child is better behaved than he really is???? |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 4:03pm
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Nothing you have said screams ADHD to me. The dietary side is worth investigation as that may well help whether he has ADHD not. Other than that, if you are not concerned, I would not take it any further.
Gabrielle can be tricky too and has eating / sleeping issues. She appears to have high intelligence as well. We are currently awaiting an appt with a developmental Paed for review of the sleep issues and a possible link to ADHD has been mentioned. She certainly isn't the uncontrollable hyper type I'd expect from an ADHD but apparently it can take different forms. The only reason we are going for assessment is because of her sleep although in saying that her early case history is apparently quite typical of females with ADHD (they are quite different to boys) I will let you know how we go. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 4:04pm
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i think the daycare is unacceptable. ! what a silly thing to say. they should be coming up with ways to help him socialise not criticising him or you!
if its worth anything i dont think he has ADHD. i think he is lovely! If anything the slight changes in his life may be a contributing factor to any unacceptable behaviour, not a labelled disorder. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 4:22pm
Thanks Deb  Gosh, its amazing how far kind words go to making a mummy feel better!
I think what annoys me most is the fact that I've felt for a while that they were finding him tricky, and when I asked for specific things to take place they tried once then put it in the 'too hard' basket. I now feel like he's the unliked child at the centre 
And I think they ought to cut him some slack really.... he's been through a lot, and quite frankly I think he's doing marvellously all things considered. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 4:28pm
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maybe its time to change centres. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 4:40pm
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I'm with Bizzy.
That is totally unacceptable! I don't see ADHD tendencies in that! You need to get them to give you specifics not general stuff like that. Alia couldn't sit still, she'd sit but she'd jiggle a leg constantly. She would throw tantrums at the drop of a hat, and she constantly refuse food. The foods he's refusing probably make him feel funny. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 11 February 2010 at 5:01pm
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I would ask for a detailed list exactly why they thought he had adhd, and ask what they planned to do about it. (they should refer him onto an early childhood intervention team). If they can come up with a list, i would go to your GP and ask them about it. Kids can be quite different at home from at daycare.
We have a secondary boy in the process of being diagnosed ADHD and the questionaire is LOOOOONG, and involved, and certainly involves more than "runs around a lot". the person that said ADHD, what experience do they have with diagnosis? My daycare for a while though Taine had autism and were extremly helpful. he was refered to the ECI team, and was observed by him at home and at daycare. they are yet to get back to us, but daycare said if he was, they would work with us. I would move and find a better daycare, is there anyone at the daycare you trust the opinion of? that you could ask about his behaviour? |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 12 February 2010 at 5:08pm
So in other words hes being a typical , busy , on the go 3 year old boy . Sheesh ,his DC reall shouldn't make conclusions like that without more reason than "socially unacceptable " I do not like the sound of this daycare ! ------------- 
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joshierocks wrote:Posted By: midnight_sakura
Date Posted: 12 February 2010 at 10:22pm
| I have had the same thing with our DD and it being suggested that she may have ADHD. Suggested and no helpful advise or examples given!!! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 12 February 2010 at 11:07pm
| Ummm... I would change centres and be laying a complaint (read your food post too). There's no way in hell I would accept that from my DC, and to 'diagnose' him without consultation with you or giving you advice is just bad practice. |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 13 February 2010 at 6:52am
Tottaly agree with everyone eles change centers  ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 13 February 2010 at 11:30am
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This is great advice, definelty worth doing Clare, they shouldnt be labelling him at this point! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 13 February 2010 at 2:12pm
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My nephew was very similar at the same age, my sister has dropped ALL artifical colour, additives, preservatives, and gone mainly organic food for the whole family. He will be 6 in may, since starting school he has gone up 2 classes, can sit and concentrate for long periods (over an hour) etc. Yes if he has even the slightest food he isn't supposed to he reacts, and it takes up to 4 days to get it out of his system again. My sister was told at her daycare as well that they thought he has ADHD but they researched it and looked into the diet they are all on now and decided they would rather try this first than have lots of testing etc to see if he has ADHD. While my kids eat minimal what we call "crap" food with all the E numbers, they also have nothing with "flavours" added either as that is bad too. It has taken them over 2 years to sort out their diet they feel it is well worth it. For daycare they ended up going to a home based carer who was more easily able to deal with his diet and not make a fuss about it. They were also able to find a kindy who understood as well. (They moved towns due to her DH's job and found the smaller town and more rural lifestyle helped with people being more understanding as most were doing at least the organic thing anyway) -------------  
 
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Posted By: oscarboo
Date Posted: 13 February 2010 at 4:26pm
Personally I think the DC need to find more things to stimulate him. If they are not providing enough he will get bored and try to find things to entertain himself and they might not always find them acceptable IYKWIM . A very unscientific ADHD test I have heard about is if they can sit still to watch a movie/tv programme they are interested in they don't have ADHD!------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 16 February 2010 at 11:42am
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Hey, thanks everyone for your valued input! I am going to look again at the levels of additives in his diet, although I do try to make sure they are pretty minimal.
I've just enrolled him in a new pre-school I spent an hour there this morning, and it really seems like a positive and supportive environment. I explained at great length what was going on with Josh at the other place, and how I felt he was acting out due to the way he was being treated there etc etc, and they said they have staff with specialist experience to help unsettled children. I feel confident that this could be the place for him!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 February 2010 at 12:28pm
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thats great! good on you. i hope when you leave the other place you tell them how dumb arse they are! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 16 February 2010 at 5:25pm
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Ohhh where abouts are you sending him??? Sounds like a great place ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 17 February 2010 at 2:17pm
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yay for surport hope he loves his new childcare and you too ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 6:55pm
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Hi there
My heart feels for you as we have been in a similar situation. My son was 4years old when a teacher told me I need to seek medical advice and something is not right. Needless to say I left that parent teacher conference (and many more) in tears. Every year no matter what school I went to it was the same. One thing I have learnt is that there are huge differences between ADD?ADHD children. It is a lot like autism and having its own huge spectrum. My son is a good kid. Very kind and does not have the anger issues that can be associated with this disorder. I thought that it was always children who misbehaved etc. He has been diagnosed by a neurologist after fighting it for 7 years. We tried diet and omega 3's, limited tv and frontal lobe stimulation. You name it we have tried it and now at the age of 9 he is finally getting to an age of maturity and learning how to deal with it. For him his mind races. The hyperactivity for ADHD is his brain racing not physical actions. (this is in simple terms) which means that he has trouble sitting still and focusing and getting tasks done. Alot of kids have this issue he is just on a different level. I learnt very fast to be assertive. Request a meeting with your teacher and head teacher. Tell them what you are prepared to do or not to do. We always made it clear that we were not prepared to medicate. (just a personal choice really) and said that we would support them 100% in the choices they make to deal with him in their environment other than the medication. Often this was with a request of a written plan of action that they would determine and we would support. 9 times out of 10 this never eventuated and was a deterent for his teachers conducting endless "what your son did wrong today" speeches. Our comeback was sort out the plan and we will support you. No one wants to hear that their kid is bad and misbehaving. This is a condition that they can't help. As your childs advocate you need to speak for him. The last two teachers we have had have been great. In fairness he is not the easiest kid to deal with. We know as we have been dealing with his challenges for 9 years now. We are not blind to how hard it is to get him to do things. But he is a good kid with a medical condition. Because it is not visible does not mean it doesn't exist. My suggestion is get him diagnosed. Whether it be he is or not then at least you can move forward. We were in limbo land hiding from the diagnosis for years and life is so much better now for him and us. However they don't normally proceed with testing until they are 7years I think. Check with your GP as we were overseas at the time and don't know the NZ standards. Hugs and hope everything works out for you. |
Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 08 March 2010 at 5:44pm
| Just thought that I would mention that ADHD kids often grow up to do wonderful things. My son is extremely bright and manages to keep up with school despite not focusing and only putting in 5 mins worth of effort in a 30min task. One of the most detrimental sides to this condition is the lack of understanding. When my son wasn't diagnosed he was constantly berated by us and teachers for not doing things and told he was bad. This really affected his self esteem. Now that he is diagnosed we can go about it differently and he has really blossomed. |