Struggling at kindy
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35298
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Topic: Struggling at kindy
Posted By: peachy
Subject: Struggling at kindy
Date Posted: 17 August 2010 at 10:29am
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Just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom for me please.
My little girl is nearly 3 and has been at kindy for two terms now. It is a wonderful kindy with fabulous teachers and only 25 children per class. She is not settling at all anymore, lots of tears and a broken heart for Mummy! She is very very sensitive, very forward for her age and is constantly needing reassurance that we are her friend. She tries really hard to join in and play with the other children but is often ignored as she is quite a quiet child until she knows people. Every day after kindy she tells me who was her friend and who wasn't. She is so hung up on being accepted and having friends and I just don't know what to do. I try so hard to teach her not to worry about everyone else and just to have fun, but she is continually searching for the opportunity to be accepted at kindy. Who would of thought I thould have this problem at 2 years old!! My Mum tells me I was exactly the same at kindy, so I wonder where she gets it from  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 17 August 2010 at 11:07am
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Just to add, how can I support her and help her feel accepted?
She now goes to bed at night telling me she is not going to kindy anymore and wakes up crying if its a kindy day. This has only just started this term. Any advice would be appreciated as I have absolutely no intentions of stopping her from going! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 17 August 2010 at 11:18am
| Daniel goes through stages of being fine about being left at daycare and then stages where theres tears. I always make sure I spend a good 15-20 mins with him there when we arrive and I'll sit down and read books with him or play with play dough and try and get other kids that are hanging around to join in so im usually reading to a few of them. Since doing this hes much better about it and looks forward to daycare days and I just let one of the teachers know when I wanna leave and they involve him in an activity and wave goodbye to mummy |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 August 2010 at 4:37pm
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have you spoken to the head kindy teacher about it yet? that would be my first step. They will be able to tell you if she is having troubles and be able to come up with an action plan to help her as well. also there was an excellent piece in the latest littlies mag that was about a very similar problem. can you get a copy of that from your kindy too? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 17 August 2010 at 4:59pm
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Thanks kebakat and Bizzy for your replies.
Kebakat I do stay for 20 odd mins and get her involved in something as you do but its not helping TBH. The teacher has suggested just dropping her off and leaving straight away to see if that changes things. I would feel so bad doing that though! Bizzy, Laurens favourite teacher is aware of what is happening but she's not aware of everything. I might just have a word with her tomorrow and see what she recommends too. Thankfully she is the most lovely teacher I could ever want for DD and is easily approachable. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 17 August 2010 at 5:19pm
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My sister had the same issues with her 3yo son last year. Eventually they decided to withdraw him from kindy for awhile. He is now 4yo and has just started kindy again and she can't believe the difference. The same child who used to get so upset about being at kindy he would cry and scream until he threw up is now up & dressed and waiting by the door with his bag and shoes on from about 7:30am on kindy days asking every 5 mins if kindy is open yet. -------------  
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 17 August 2010 at 5:39pm
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Thats interesting MrsMojo. Thanks for your reply.
Definately going to have a chat tomorrow. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 18 August 2010 at 2:41pm
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My thought is to try to help her befriend someone by inviting them to play at your place - then they could bond a bit one on one and it might help her want to go to kindy if you can tell her that her friend xxx will be there.
Good luck! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 18 August 2010 at 7:59pm
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I'd drop back the hours so she can get her reassurance from being at home with you. There's heaps of research that talks about that being the most settling for children, especially under 4yrs. Keep kindy on but consider taking it right back to a couple of half-days per week. -------------  |