Discipling twins
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Forum Name: Twins, triplets or more!
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36047
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Topic: Discipling twins
Posted By: linda
Subject: Discipling twins
Date Posted: 02 October 2010 at 11:16am
The twins are now 19 months and are constantly getting into trouble. We have a port a cot in the lounge as we use for our time out place but it doesn't seem to be working.
They constantly pull each others hair, throw toys, climb on the table etc. Sometimes its just one so we put them in the time out zone and others it both. When they are both in the play pen they tend to wrestle or pull each others hair. When they both are in trouble they think its a great laugh. They also tend to egg each other on.
What did you do that worked? I would imagine that it is constantly 'evolving'!
------------- http://lilypie.com">
Alex 6 and Harry 8
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Replies:
Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 02 October 2010 at 9:01pm
Luke and Zavier do this too, especially egging each other on. We have had the trouble of time out in their room, and they use ANYTHING to open the door, and now have had to put a lock at the top of the door (a hook) and then give them 10 minutes to cool down.
They also pull each others hair and take each others things... I am sure it gets better though!
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http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 11 October 2010 at 10:21am
We had this problem too, still do in fact lol. We tried intorducing time outs at around 18months but I think they were still too young to understand it so it wasn't really working for us. We are only just now at 2 & a half finding time out effective. Up until now we found distraction over disipline much more effective. I used to keep a handful of toys hiden in the linen cuboard then if they were being naughty I would pull them out and get really excited over the "new" toys lol. Sometimes I think the fighting and naughty behaviour just steams from pure boredom. I know my two are at there worst behaviour during winter when we are cooped up indoors most days. Thank goodness Spring is finally here!
------------- http://lilypie.com">
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS
MC April 2010
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Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 15 December 2010 at 8:35pm
My girls have started fighting! The only thing that stops them is either turning on the TV or plonking Ethan between them!
------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!)
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Posted By: Twinboys2b
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 7:25pm
Hi, if it's any conselation (spel?) my boys worst constant behaivour was when they were 18 months old where they didn;t have the language to voice everything and therefore took their frsutrations out on each other.
We use their cots for when their naugthy but we pick our battles - sometimes it's distraction but if it's something they know they're not meant to do (over just being bored or frustarted/needing attention) we give them a warning and then time out. Works most of the time unless they are tired/bored or want attention!!!
We've found now that they know words to express themselves we find it easier (and harder to reason with sometimes). I.e. it's often one of them saying 'my turn' pulling at their brother toy and we've put alot of emphasis on it being 'J's turn now and after E can have a go' or 'it's mum turn and then you can have a turn' which helps a bit - won't quite work at their age yet.
Ride it out as that was a horendous age for my boys.
------------- 3yr old gorgeous ID twin boys.
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 17 December 2010 at 10:40pm
We're still going with the bad behaviour but maybe not as often as a couple of months ago. They seem to be doing individual play a bit more which could be helping. Have tried the naughty spot a couple of times although very early days!
------------- http://lilypie.com">
Alex 6 and Harry 8
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Posted By: whipersnapper
Date Posted: 21 November 2011 at 10:55pm
keep em busy, keep them seperate if you can.
My little angels used to love pulling eachothers hair in shopping trolleys and pushcahirs, as soon as they got out and walked, issue was over. They still fight, (very rarely though) but I swear it's more like having 2 kids who just happen to share a birthday.
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Posted By: Guest_66521
Date Posted: 29 April 2012 at 3:59pm
hi my 2 are 16months old and the fighting over toys has just started and im not sure what to do about it i have tryed letting them sort it out on their own but the fighting is getting incresingly violent with hair pulling head butting and hitting i keep taking one of them to play with something else but of course the first one then wants to see what we are doing and it starts again they dont understand time out or anything like that and its often hard to decide who is in the wrong as the one playing with the toy first is also usually the one who hits out when the other one comes over for a look any advice would be apreciated starting to drive me up the wall
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Posted By: UpsyDaisy
Date Posted: 29 April 2012 at 11:09pm
Hi Guest_66521 my twins are now two. I do remember that age being tricky. There are a few tips above also but I recommend keeping them busy as much as possible new activities, play with pots pans, rotate toys, get outside as much as possible I was lucky it was spring/summer but if you can get them outside there is plenty of leaves, twigs, dirt, stones to explore so no need to fight. I think it is worthing investing in some good overalls for playing outside in cold/damp weather. I know my two are better behaved if they have been outside for 15-30 mins.
Distraction is key, try to intervene before the snatch happens.... not always possible I know.
At 16 mths they usually can't say much if anything but they can understand alot. A technique I use is to be their narator saying things like 'It looks like you want B's train, B is playing with it right now. When B is finished you can have a turn. What else can you play with?' Basically trying to express what I thought each wanted/was feeling and suggest a resolution. This works sometimes and even if you feel a bit silly saying it I think it pays off in the end I think my two play really well together now, sure they have their moments but they don't contantly fight.
I really emphasized the taking turns part too. So funny as turnie turnie became one of their first words which they even use when I'm eating something they want. You know Mums food is always better even when its exactly the same...
I still don't do time out with 2 yr olds I still don't think they would understand. When they are older I may consider something but will be more termed thinking time or similar to reflect on our actions rather than time out which sounds like a punishment.
Good luck....this stage will pass
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Posted By: Corrina
Date Posted: 30 April 2012 at 10:25am
Hi upsydaisy
thanks for the advice i do find that outside is definatley their fav place infact they can just about say it now have just realised how much they understand i had no idea i asked evelyn to get me a nappy thinking yeah right and what do you know off she went and got me one really opened my eyes so think i will give explaneing it to them a go
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