Single Parents Vent
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Single parenting
Forum Description: Share tips, trials and tribulations about parenting alone
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36692
Printed Date: 24 November 2024 at 2:40am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Single Parents Vent
Posted By: nathansmummy
Subject: Single Parents Vent
Date Posted: 15 November 2010 at 9:30pm
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Oh my gosh I am sooo mad
My list of complaints: - tired of my mother-in-law talking to me like a piece of dirt when she's stressed or had a bad day - get some manners! - tired of being yelled at, sworn at, called names by my ex - in front of my son, in my house (jerk!) and sick of having to therefore tell him to leave and having to look after my son because he's being a jerk - sick to death of ex constantly changing his plans. he has never once kept to our agreed times to see DS and look after him. - annoyed that he gives me money and then asks to borrow some - argh!!!! 
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Replies:
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 7:10am
i could complan till the cows come home but there is not anuff room on here for all i have to say ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 10:41am
Oh god, Nathansmummy that sounds horrid  I hope you say no to giving him money back!
I for one am really freaking sick of my grandparents asking when i'm getting married, and them telling me i'm leaving it a bit late to get a ring on my finger before baby comes. NOT WITH THE FATHER. NOT GETTING MARRIED. SINGLE PARENT! They may as well stone me. |
Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 11:57pm
| Ugh - vent away James it will do you the world of good!!!! |
Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 01 December 2010 at 12:05pm
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Grrrrrrr
So I had documented in a court order that Christmas/Summer Holidays arrangements had to be finalised by 1 December to allow planning for everyone. The asshole ex still has not got back to me regarding this. He has responded a few days ago however I was not happy with a couple of things. So emailed him back and reminded him of the requirement to have finalised by 1 December and he still hasn't bothered to respond. I am now playing hard ball and think if he hasn't responded and allowed me time to respond back by 7pm tonight then we will just assume the status quo, ie: she spends alternate weekends with him. Such a f**kwit who expects the world to revolve around him !!!!! ------------- Becs |
Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 01 December 2010 at 10:39pm
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You'll probably get a reply in your inbox tomorrow, or in the next few days.
He probably assumed that what he proposed would be suitable, and now needs to make new plans. |
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 9:07pm
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G's birthday is today and the useless ex hasn't even rung her to day happy birthday. It seems that he has either forgotten or doesn't care. As far as I can tell she hasn't had a present from him at his house and he certainly hasn't even texted me to say happy birthday to her. She hasn't even noticed but I still feel sad for her. How stink for her that her own Dad hasn't even remembered her birthday, and yet my new BF of only two months managed to remember and got her a prezzie. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 9:24pm
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aww poor wee poppit that relly suxs funny i dont even worry about james dad i just feel sad that he donsnt have a dad at all it usually oly hits when i see dads out with there kids it suxs i relly feel for my baby . ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 9:26pm
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Grrrr bloody useless men Shelt! But at least your new man remembered and did something nice.
Just lucky she is young enough that she won't remember but I know how it hurts us as mums ------------- Becs |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 10:40pm
Shelt thats so sad 
I'm sorry for your little one, i know she probably hasnt noticed.....this year, i hope he doesnt pull that trick again . At least your new man remembered though....bonus points for him.
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 8:26am
I don't know why I bother! T's dad and I made the decision to split, I had arranged all my stuff and he said that it wasn't what he wanted, I said I still wanted to move out which i'm going to do, but he said he would start making a big effort to help me out with T so that I could have some more time to myself.....he hasn't changed AT ALL, I still do EVERYTHING and it's the same sh*t all day everyday, I asked if I could have the weekend off to sleep in and relax, read my book, and he got mad because "its his weekend too", ffs I haven't had a weekend off since Tyler was born 14 months ago! INfact I don't think he's given me a whole day off! Maybe a morning or 2, that's it! He also expected me to move about 40 mins away, even though i've just enrolled T in daycare and I have uni and all my support on the shore, so he can cut out 15 mins from his drive to work, no friggin way. I'm so mad, I shouldn't have bothered giving him another chance because I KNEW he wouldn't change, he constantly tells me this "isn't his thing" as soon as it gets a bit hard and i'm so over it. And I can;t find any nice places on TM they're all crap and I want a nice one  So i'm probably gonna have to go to my mums house in the spare room with her partners annoying kids who are really badly behaved ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 April '11
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 10:42am
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Hugs Nic. I totally understand. My ex always promised that he would get better but he never did and I always did everything while he went off with his mates e.t.c And it is so hard to find a nice place within the budget these days. I am starting to get a bit worried that I will still be at mums with a newborn. I so don't want that as it is going to be hard enough settling her in with out having to worry about keep Ds out of trouble and being tidy enough to keep mums partner happy. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 8:44pm
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Nic - ive moved back home with my mum and while its not ideal, I would rather be here at the moment. I am using the time im here to save like crazy so I can afford a nice place for me and DS. Might not be for another year or 2 though. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 12 January 2011 at 4:03pm
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Sorry HuntersMama I didn't even see your last post, i'm actually just thinking that its what im gonna have to do. Every house i've looked at is crap. I hate how expensive places are. Even 1 bedroom ones I just want a nice house, I want my dad who is friggin LOADED to help me out, but he doesn't. Not.at.all. He claims he can't afford it. He lives in a mansion drives a BMW and last year went on a 6 month trip around Europe with his b*tch gf, south america (where he took said b*tch gf, her kids and my sisters, but not me cos I had a 8 month old at the time ) and then went to Australia for a week to do some shopping. Oh and did I mention his gf is a b*tch and everything they own is designer and antique Ok sorry - vent over, not technically related, but im just so over it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: Natalie_G
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 7:17pm
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My ex said he would change (get a job) but never did then it was my fault lack of sex (TMI), well duh, im working full-time looking after Arianne, cleaning, washing and cooking while he played games all day.
I said I think we should separate. Now he has left the country misses us but I will never go back there. Im the one who will have to deal with Arianne and the questions she will start to ask, like, "Where is my Daddy?" or "Does my Daddy not love me?" I ended up moving into my Dad's place and im now looking for employment so Arianne and I can move out and settle down just us two. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 5:33pm
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grrrrr are there any single mums out there that are at uni? and how the heck do you manage? I've just made the decision to move in with my mum so she can take Tyler to day care for me in the morning, and I can go straight to my uni and hospital placement (which they put me in at Auckland Hospital, when I asked for North Shore Hospital like three times in writing and well in advance). So I called them today and asked if it were possilble to change to North Shore as trying to get a 14 month old to kindy and then to a hospital placement by 7am was gonna be next to impossible, but at least if my placement was on the shore then I wouldnt have to travel all the way over into the city, my friggin lecturer was so rude, I hate him so much, I have gotten NO support I feel slightly better about going to stay with my mum temporarily, should take some of the stress off, but I cant believe how unhelpful uni has been, so p*ssed off right now ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 7:29pm
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Hugs Nic!! xxoxxo
Hope everything works out soon hun ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Little Angel, April 10
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 10:05pm
Thanks lovely xx and Oh my gosh 11 weeks!!!! xxx------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 10:28pm
Grr to your lecturer! What a d!ck! I've also so far found studying with a baby... Most people don't care, maybe it's because they haven't been there themselves?? Who knows! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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nicandtyler wrote:Posted By: james
Date Posted: 21 January 2011 at 7:47am
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i am so sick of being the one holding everything together doing aall the house work, paying the bills and entertaing my boys thur the long summer holiadays, also wish my familiy would step up and come and even see him u cant sit there and tell him u missed him when he was away the not come see him when he is home i wouldnt do that to your kids not fair not fair not fair ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:33am
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I am tired of being expected to do all of the work on the house by myself, when I have the girls. You live there, you have plenty of time after work when it's still light and don't have the girls, why not get off your backside and do something instead of waiting for everyone else to do it for you, as usual!!! The house needs to be sold, and we need to get the best possible price for it because we're already not going to get enough to pay off the mortgage, ACCEPT IT!!!! And do something to help instead of sitting back and doing all you can to make me suffer!!! It doesn't help the girls, or our relationship either!
Nic - I am at Uni, but I do it extramurally. It is hard, very hard!!! I have an assessment due next week which is going to be interesting. I am thankful I don't have placements though (doing a Bachelor of Business Studies). Good luck!! |
Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 21 January 2011 at 1:18pm
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thanks minik8e, im not looking forward to the assessments!! Luckily its my final paper and then I graduate, and I would have loved to postpone it even longer but its nursing and you have to finish the degree within 5 years, plus I wanna earn myself my own money, get off the DPB and into my own place, so my lecturer can shove it, thanks god for a supportive family! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 21 January 2011 at 10:51pm
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The father of my daughter is getting married tomorow to the girl he cheated on me with , she has just turned 19 and is 6 months pregnant . he hasnt seen his daughter in over 6months and hasnt even sent a single message asking how she is in over 4 months, he also pays absolutly NOTHING in child support and has never ever paid a single thing for her (not even a pack of nappies or item of clothing to help out) and he uses the excuse "i have no money".... hmmmm weddings , and rings , and other new babies cost money AHOLE so you must have some stashed away somewhere , im not a retard!!! .theres my vent ..... dont think i have to say much more than that LOL . Upside tho - we dont need him coz hes a dooche ( excuse the language) She is a happy , healthy wee girl and she has me and my partner (the closest thing to her dad ) at her every beak and call
Nicand Tyler- i dont know exactly what you are going through as i dont study but i do work and i understand what you are saying about your lecturer as my big boss (a Male ) is the same and quite simply does not understand that it is actually quite difficult for me to work untill 8pm with an 18mth old esspecially when i have nothing to do with babys father , preschools actually arent open that late .... suprise suprise . I am lucky tho that my partner helps me and looks after her for me , i quite simply would not be able to work at my job without him there . Im glad you have a supportive family , Family are great at these times ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 24 January 2011 at 7:11pm
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I am completely over it today. I am sick of being mean mummy who disciplines, who says no you can't eat that even though you eat it all the time at Dad's, and sick of the hassles of getting a tired toddler to bed coz she stay up till all hours at her fathers.
I wish he hadn't told her he was taking her on holiday before he confirmed it with me coz now she is excited and I will be mean mummy again if I say no. I am sick of the relentless grind of doing all the work and always being the person who gets up in the night and spends hours getting the child to sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 8:08pm
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Getting more and more wound up with the ex.
Went shopping again today for bath-time stuff to prepare for baby's arrival. Ended up getting a bath, nail scissors and a bunch of shampoo/bedtime bath lotion/baby oil/baby powder etc which as usual I had to pay for the lot, after he picked out half of it saying "we should get this!" Later went to Farmers to look at bath toys and special teddies for the baby and he spent the whole time picking out bath toys for a baby and I thought we were getting somewhere, but he proceed to say they'd be great for his 5 year old daughter. Gah. We made up a list the other day of stuff we still need to get and I suggested I get the bath-time stuff, and he chooses something else on the list to get (to give him a hint), but he said he'd rather come along and get the bath stuff together. Anyone got any ideas on how I can get him to take a bit of the financial responsibility? So far I've sorted clothes up to about six months, cot, bassinet, pram, bath stuff, changing table, and he's not paid a cent or bought a thing, and it's really starting to frustrate me now that he has a flatmate so he has spare cash, and he's always got a new pack of smokes. I wish I could just yell at him (haha) but I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have at the moment or embarrass him. |
Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 10:40pm
Hi Nic just reading this... how are things going at your mum's if you are still there? I honestly would love to live with my mum but my father is abusive and lives there so I can't. Plus my mum has just come through chemotherapy/battling cancer so she couldn't provide childcare at any rate and I would have to look after her, and I have no other family in the country. It is TOUGH doing this stuff on your own!! |
Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 10:47pm
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I have had nearly two weeks of sleepless nights and really grumpy baby because of his molars. Stupid ex has no idea what it's like to take care of a child fulltime without many breaks, which causes so much tension between us because he is so consumed with himself and "how much he can handle" - it's SO pathetic. Just find I have to pick up the pieces all the time.
Nathan wakes up at 5am/6am most mornings. If the ex wakes up at 8 or 9am he calls that "early". Because he didn't pay me a fortnight ago and my car needs repairs, I have to put Nathan in the buggy, off down to the bus and go to WINZ for a food grant etc. Because he couldn't be bothered getting out of bed at 8:30am to drop me off there. And besides all that I have yelling and swearing not just from him (because he feels guilty I'm taking the bus with Nathan), but from the rest of his family ringing me up and having a go at me!!!! I just WISH that you would stop being sooooo abusive! Is that too much to ask? And I just wish that you realised how bl**dy hard it is for me instead of how hard it is for you, d*ckhead! |
Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 8:06am
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Stop freaking Texting me about how much of a nice thing it was that i did for my ex (it was his bday so sent him a pic of his son with a wee sign that said happy bday) or wishing me luck for my job interview....
Your lost your right to be part of my life as a friend when you slept with my Fiancee!! I don't need to be reminded of you, the thought of you being with him rubs salt in the wound enough already ETA: I know she trying to be nice, but after what happened i don't think that anything i do or anything in my life is her business anymore ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 9:18am
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Wow, what a cheek she has. I would be p!ssed off too.
Its a little too late for nice. -------------  
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Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 5:10pm
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You're still a fw, father of my daughter. You have known for weeks and weeks the costs of new school uniforms, stationery, school fees etc etc. You pay $67 a month child support while your two sons from your second marriage go to a Decile Ten school and you live in an affluent area. Why do I ALWAYS have to fork out for this kind of stuff and get thrown excuse after excuse for you having no money.
Oh but you could afford to go to Tauranga for the long weekend. FW!!!! ------------- Becs |
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 4:46pm
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I want another baby being single sucks *sigh*
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Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 7:35pm
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Ahh, Pillow_Fight, was talking with mum yesterday about buying a heap of cloth nappies, mentioning that some are guaranteed for two babies, thus they could be sold on to offset the initial purchase price, and she looked shocked that I'm not even thinking about more children.
There's still 20 weeks until I have my first, and I'm only 21! |
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:54pm
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Stop feeding the child junk food at 4pm just before I pick her up f**kwit You do it on purpose because you know she won't eat her dinner if you stuff her with chips and chocolate milk. And don't smirk when I ask you not too - you are just using the child to get to me and thats not fair on her.
And stop driving her around in your car. You know you are not allowed to and telling me you can do what you like when she is with you and that I can't stop you is neither adult behaviour nor appropriate when we are talking about the safety of a 2 year old. I hate you and I hate that you yell sh*t at me and I am too much of an adult to yell back. I want to vent to but am I doing it to your face? No, because I am too much of an adult to rock the boat and cause more problems. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mothermercury
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:18pm
I have a feeling I am going to be hearing things like this in the future. The one consolation is that he can't drive.
Shelt, he sounds like a real toad! |
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 11 February 2011 at 9:59pm
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Yes well my ex couldn't drive when we split up either. He only got his restricted last week and we have been having a dispute about him driving her around. The NZTA have said it is against the law but today he took DD to Kawerau (about 1.5hrs down the road) and he can't see the problem with that He doesn't have much driving experience as he has only been learning since he moved in to his current flat in September and he can't see that he is putting DD's safety at risk. Plus its against the law. I am so incredibly angry that he took her out of town without telling me, and that he drove with her in the car and not just round town but for 3 hours on the open road today ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 7:16am
*lurker* you can drive dependents round on your restricted... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mothermercury
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 9:58am
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I think the thing here is that she doesn't actually live with him as a dependent.
Shelt, I am angry at this guy too and I don't even know him!
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 11:44am
| lil_nic apparently unless you are their main caregiver they don't count as a dependant. I think if he were pulled over he wouldnt get ticketed for her though. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 11:47am
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Ahh I see! Ignore me then! I just thought that as she was in his care at the time... But that makes sense too! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 10:08pm
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bowie is right Lil_Nic, he has to be her main caregiver to be able to drive her round and he only has her for 26hrs a week. Under the court order I have day-to-day care (effectively custody) and am responsible for her needs, and he has access (also known as visitation). There is about 4 points that need to be met under the law for him to be able to drive her round and he meets none of them. He can apply for an exemption after 6 months but a) its only been 10 days and b) he meets almost none of the criteria. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 13 February 2011 at 11:41am
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Has to be said though, if he got pulled over and said "oh thats my daughter" how seriously would they investigate that? Surely no police man is going to start looking into custody arrangements etc. Not that it makes it right at all, i'm not sticking up for him.
To my ex:: Yes, i know you're missing out on a lot but having a pity party about it at midnight while i battle to b/f your child and he bites me (who knew newborns can bite? I didnt..and that gum ridge is hard!) is not going to get you a decent response. I'd freaking LOVE you to be here and take on part of the responsibility your actions put us in this situation so grow a pair and stop crying down the phone at me. |
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 13 February 2011 at 4:06pm
| DS's dad hasn't seen him in a month. Not even texted to see how he is. |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 13 February 2011 at 6:54pm
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aww pillow-fight what a arse ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 13 February 2011 at 9:16pm
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Ah Bowie breastfeeding sux in the beginning , It Bloody hurts ( excuse my french) i rememebr crying and stressing out as soon as bubs cried because i knew she was hungry but couldnt bear the pain of feeding (i personally thought the pain was worse than my pain free labour and im not exagerating ). It takes a while to settle down but once it does Its fantastic . Such a nice bonding experiance , great for bubs , And free too pillowfight- Men!!!! that sux , Its the child that misses out , some men just dont get it ! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 13 February 2011 at 10:21pm
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Yeah bowie I know, but I'm still pissed off about it. Plus am getting cards up my sleeve in case he decides to go for 50/50 custody again at our review when DD is 3.
Yup breastfeeding hurts a lot in the begining. But so worth it when they finally get the hang of it. And yeah, newborn bites hurt! Thats one thing I never expected! That sucks pillow_fight ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 14 February 2011 at 9:28am
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Awww Pillowfight that is average of him Grrr on your DS behalf!
Thanks guys, am sticking too it even though he's like some kind of shark. Seriously scares me when i get a nipple out and he starts opening and shutting his mouth at speed and honing in on the nipple, looks like he's going to get it in his teeth and shake it. |
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 15 February 2011 at 12:09pm
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1month and 1day since we last heard from DS's dad. Nothing absolutly no contact in between and he texts me today saying hey are you home? !!!!!!!! yes and I've been home every day for the last month too you #$%^&*&^%$#$%^& !!!!!
Unlucky for him as DS was sleeping at the time so I replied and said yes but DS has just gone to sleep and all he replied was oh ok then
WHY DOES HE MAKE ME SO MAD
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Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 15 February 2011 at 11:10pm
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Just found out he's decided to move to Christchurch at the end of the year.
So much for my baby having his/her daddy around, eh. |
Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 16 February 2011 at 8:40am
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DS has been sick with rotavirus since thursday, still not right today and his dad hasn't offered to take him at all and ive been at clinical for uni so have had to take so much time off and i get absolutely no offer of help from the ex, he calls twice to ask about him, and then gets mad that i havent been to get the cats yet, sorry i havent had blimmin time with being at clinical and trying to look after a really sick toddler when will he get it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 16 February 2011 at 12:31pm
| ahh heck, hope Tyler gets better soon that must be wretched for you both. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 18 February 2011 at 11:01pm
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I don't really belong in this thread,cos im not single...BUT my daughter's father and I are not together and I need to vent about something.
He and his family are moving to Wellington, which is fair enough, they told me,apologising profusely,and what can I say ? its the best thing for them (them being his wife and 3 boys ) and it would be selfish of me to expect them to stay up here when really my DH is more C's dad than he is. However,because C's bio dad and I have always made an effort to have a good relationship,I never say a bad word about him in front of her, for example, she loves her bio daddy very much as well,and she adores her brothers (all younger ) So anyway, my ...vent? not sure if thats the right word,is you think the baby stage is so hard, all the sleepless nights, breast feeding issues etc....nuh uh. See,when Ty (my 19month old ) is hungry..I feed him,when he is wet,I change him,when he needs a cuddle I comfort him. What the HELL do I do to comfort an 8 year old girl,who is old enough to understand things in shades of grey when I tell her her other family are moving away from her and I have to watch her heart break? One of the hardest moments of my parenting life, sitting comforting my daughter who was so upset she was no longer crying but wailing, while she said "they can just leave me,cos I dont matter as much,I don't matter as much " knowing that I can't deny it,because she is smarter than that,she knows the truth,that she isn't as much part of the family, what on earth do I say to comfort her except reassure her how much I love her and how Im not going anywhere.....and yet knowing at the same time that its no where near enough. ...They have all these books to prepare you for the baby stage,the toddler stage...there is nothing to prepare you for moments in parenthood like that. ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 7:12am
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aww big hugs kelly that made me cry ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 11:28am
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Me too...poor Caitlyn, what a horrid thing for you and her to have to go through Kelly.
Admire your attitude very much though, respecting that decision and seeing that its the best and not just hating on him or trashing him out in front of C. Not that it makes it any easier on her now of course. |
Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 11:55am
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Oh Kelly that must be so tough, it's gut wrenching when seeing your child so upset because of something the other parent does - it happens often with me and my girl. One thing I have done for my girl is reassure her that she will still get to see her dad and her lil brothers. Skype is a wonderful way of keeping in contact and you can videocall/talk via camera. Also, she will have the opportunity to spend time with them during the holidays I assume. She could even fly down on a plane and fly back and spend time in a different city. That could be exciting (nerve wracking for you the first time it happens but airport staff are used to these situations and having to assist unaccompanied children).
It will be a different situation but also can be exciting and something for her to look forward to.  ------------- Becs |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 2:07pm
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Thanks guys
yup Mum2Alana,thats what I did,we talked about her being able to fly down there or go on the train or whatever and how she will be able to go to Te Papa.....and thats as far as I got,that and the Bee Hive lol cos I don't know Wellington very well...
Is Skype expensive to set up ? I think thats one of the things her stepmum suggested,I think they already have it.. Im not worried about her on a plane...they moved to Wellington when she was 3,then to Australia when she was 4 ...only difference between now and then is that she understands more about her place in their family,that she isn't as part of it as her brothers,and that she has a bigger bond with her brothers since shes been seeing them so regularly,but yeah, she flew to Australia not by herself, but without me,which is almost the same when they are 4 -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 2:31pm
Skype is freeeeee  and its the best thing since sliced bread.
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Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 6:04pm
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Yup Skype is freeeeee, you only need to have a microphone and/or headset/speakers and webcam. Easy peasy to setup.
------------- Becs |
Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 11:27am
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Made me cry too that is really hard, and even worse you arent the one to cause the heartbreak but will be the one to mop up the tears. Not looking forward to that stage at all.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 9:33pm
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Awww Kelly that sucks and it made me upset for Caitlyn. I am so not looking forward to that stage. Its hard enough trying to explain at the moment to a 2 year old that she lives with me and she can't just visit Daddy when she wants. She cries when I drop her off and she cries when he drops her back...transitions are hard work ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mizpix
Date Posted: 21 February 2011 at 2:20pm
I know totally how you feel truds. A's dad hasnt been in contact since 1 jan, no txt no call or anything. I know he was in Paeroa for the bike races all weekend, and had to drive past my road to get there but nothing from him. Useless prick! I shouldnt let it get to me, I know what he's like, but it makes me sad that he doesnt even think of his son. I just want to slap his stupid face and tell him to wake up, he has an awesome son who doesnt know him from a bar of soap! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2920e5" rel="nofollow - My Ovulation Chart |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 9:30pm
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seriously???? there has been a HUGE natural disastor and you didnt even think to call me or text me and ask if your daughter is safe or alive, you didnt even attempt to contact us yet you have been updating on facebook from your phone every 5minutes so you have clearly had access to a mobile ..... i had to call you a day and a half later to say we are alive!!!! This is the exact reason i am no longer with you , this is the exact reason im glad your not in MY daughters life . ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mothermercury
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 10:47pm
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AHHH, Julz! What a PRAT. That's just terrible.
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Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 24 February 2011 at 7:14am
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Argh, Julz what a loser! That is not cool at all. Grrrr
I, however am VERY glad to hear you're both ok! I had you in my thoughts coz I rememebered you were in Chch from the last quake. Big hugs to you and your daughter! 
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 24 February 2011 at 8:59am
| REALLY pleased you and A and i assume your DP are all ok, Julz! |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 24 February 2011 at 10:41am
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thanks guys , we are safe . a bit shaken and still people we know of unaccounted for but all my imediate friends and family are all safe , one of my fellow plunket group mums was in the press building and i know she has been injured and is in hospital(shes also pregnant) so im praying for her right now. And a person my dp knows has been killed . i imagine im going to start hearing of alot of people i know of - . we are still getting alot of aftershocks. currently i am at my dp's brothers house but we are going to try and go back home today. we still have no power, phone, water etc at home so i wont be able to come back on for a few days unless we come back here or go somewhere else. My dp pretty much just lost his job tho his boss has told him hes going to have to let him go simply because there is just no work ( hes his bosses only worker) so tough times are ahead but at least we have each other which is more than alot of people in this city right now. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 6:46pm
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So, seriously, my ex has contributed nothing financially towards DS - i've brought everything and spent my savings and sold a few of my things to buy better things for him (ie i sold my guitar to buy him a better carseat then i could have otherwise afforded). I mentioned they had 55% of merino stuff at Farmers atm and i was going to buy him some next payday for winter. He said 'i feel so bad i don't buy anything for him' and i replied that i'm not stopping him he can buy whatever he likes and we'd love it. He said 'I don't know what to buy' and i said he's in 000 now but will be 00 or 0 for winter so thats best. He said 'I'd probably get the wrong colour'. I said well, i have to go to farmers anyway, why don't you come with us and we can both get him a few things? He said 'how bout we just go for a walk'.
Thats about the millionth time we've had a conversation like that, him stating he wants to financially contribute, me stating it'd help and we'd love it even sometimes emailing him a website or once even just emailing him the 'checkout' at an e-store or offering that we go shopping together and maybe split it. Or stating things he needs and where to get them. I don't NEED his money and i don't WANT it and i'm not ASKING for it but why does he offer and make such a big scene about wanting to buy him things if he really has no intention of following through? Thats the bit that drives me crazy like he only brings it up to make himself feel less guilty. Ah!! |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 8:08pm
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i know how you feel bowie . Amelias dad has never ever bought one thing or contributed financialy in any way since amelia was born (and shes 19mths old ) however when she was younger he did exactly what your ex is doing , would offer but never follow through on anything , i think its a guilt thing maybe and by them saying they will buy something is as good as doing it in their head (well it was in my exes head anyway) meh i dono , males aye! there an odd species . sounds like your doing an amazing job with your wee mna tho . thumbs up to you . ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mothermercury
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 9:10pm
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Ugh, yes, he is probably just offering to pay to make himself feel better. "Well at least I OFFERED," is probably his thinking.
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 31 March 2011 at 1:15pm
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This is more of a whinge than a vent but I am tired!! G is sick with a heavy cold and an ear infection and her asthma means she has coughed and cried all night long every night since Saturday night. Tuesday night I think we got 4 hours sleep in total. Its hard being a solo mummy when you dont feel well, have to get up to a sick child 100 times a night (slight exaggeration) and then get up and go to work the next day. And actually function. And then do it all again the next day.
I think she is slightly better today, just in time to go to her father's house tonight. Typical! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 02 April 2011 at 4:58pm
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Lol Bowie,C's dad used to do that ,and once I borrowed $20 off him for nappies etc,and he asked when I was gonna pay it back,I laughed at him and said I had paid in advance,the day that I pushed his baby out and every day since when I cared for her while he got on with his life.
He never asked again -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 05 April 2011 at 5:14pm
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Grrrrrrrrr all I wanna do is MOVE OUT and noone is being supportive..
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 05 April 2011 at 8:05pm
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Where are you living at the moment pillow fight? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 05 April 2011 at 9:01pm
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I'm living with my parents. I have nothing against living here, it's just too small for us and all our stuff.
I found a nice little place for $290p/w - winz can give me $75 acc supplement and $78 temp support but even with those, after rent goes out I'm left with $146 and my dad was flat out "it's not enough. You can't do it" Just PMO coz he was so negative! |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 9:46am
| Wow - whereabouts are you looking Trudz??? I pay $250 for my place, which is a 9 year old 3 bdrm house. Granted, it's in Inglewood, but $290 seems really expensive???? |
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 9:53am
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Yeah it's frankley road. 3bdrms. So far the only childfriendly place I can find.
I might be a little picky - but I don't wanna live in the 'hood' 
There's also one on Rimu st for the same price but only 2bdrm. Arrgh..I wanna stay in town lol. I've lived in Waitara before but I'd rather not go back. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 10:02am
| Just don't look at the 2 bdrm on Lemon St for $250 - it's a cold damp house. I'm really glad I live in Inglewood, looking at the prices on TradeMe. |
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 2:44pm
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Thanks for the heads up..i know, i looked on TM..but also looked at harcourts and first national's site and it's even worse on there! Inglewood really wouldn't work for me :-( town really is my only option. Grr.
I'm going to need a flatty. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 7:13pm
| Have a look http://www.homerentals.co.nz/rentals.asp - here as well - there's a few that are under $290 a week which aren't in the hood or Waitara...including one in Westown for $270 right at the bottom of the page. It's only $20, but still - it's $20!! Oh and also http://www.realestate.co.nz/rental/search?region_id=40&district_id=253&min_price=0&max_price=325 - here |
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 7:40pm
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Thanks hun xxx
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 9:29pm
| It's all good - I know what madness it can be living with your parents, and that was without kids LOL |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 16 April 2011 at 12:22am
| Insomniac lurker- I hear you on the hefty rent prices. (& the living with parents! i had to move back home for 3mths while we were buying this place- me, DH, ds & my big fat preg belly all squished into the sunroom, lol). Mum's busy trying to kick my 2 brothers and my cousin out of her house but rent prices are so stupid in New Plymouth. Stratford is a bit cheaper, =), my sister is in Inglewood too. Also, private rentals in the Saturday Daily News seem a lot cheaper. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 16 April 2011 at 9:47am
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I would agree with the private rentals part - and that also means no letting fee. Stratford is a LOT cheaper!! But Inglewood is fairly affordable and we have most of what we need out here Bell Block is even more ridiculous than NP is!!!
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Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 16 April 2011 at 1:54pm
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I'll have a look in today's paper listings. I know places like inglewood, stratford etc are far cheaper but they're just too far away for me I might have to put my name down at housingNZ
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 9:53am
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Someone just sent me pics of Max/Me/his Dad when we were up at his place visiting and there are a few of max and him and they've made me really angry for no reason at all - like HOW DARE HE have pictures taken with him, i do all the hard work and you just lie around and suck up the glory of having a baby? Oh cute lets take some pictures. OH and people telling him all time that Max is such a good baby and he soaks it up like its all his doing - bitch please, its my hard work thats growing him big and making him happy don't act like you've had anything to do with it. And the bit where you go around telling everyone you love being a dad makes me want to hit you because ffs, seeing him for ONE weekend out of the 3 months of his life and for a few hours (While he's asleep, mind you) each week the rest of the time doesnt make you a dad it makes you a sperm doner. And of course you're loving it its not hard at all, i do all the work!
I am fully aware that is unresonable. I dont care.
Just brought me right back to the feelings of you are a total fruit loop and i don't want you touching my child, of course i can't cut him out totally (wish i could) but it makes my skin crawl to see them together, i don't want him having any influence on DS at all but i'm not sure how i can stop it. |
Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 3:36pm
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I hear ya Bowie! Makes me laugh though, even though it is soooo annoying. People who matter can see through their crap, its obvious who is putting the hard yards and its sure not the part time dads. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 6:15pm
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I hear ya bowie! amelias dad is listed as "sperm donor " on my phone lol , makes me laugh if i ever get a txt or call from him as "sperm donor" comes up. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 6:45pm
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Oh Bowie, totally know that feeling!!!
The day Tyler was born his dad posted some photos on his FB and everyone was saying sh*t like 'Congrats, well done!' etc etc, he had done, and paid for NOTHING my entire pregnancy - barely even spoke to me then soon as Tyler was born he claimed that dad status. Still happens a bit now but I guess most outsiders on his side think I'M the bitch and he's mr goody-goody-try-so-hard-to-see-my-son when he bloody isn't. Grr. Assholes! |
Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 6:54pm
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Awww hugs ladies, I hope that once your kids get older your 'sperm donors' realise how much of a handful kids can be..... And Trudz, your ex has it coming with the new bubba, I just hope he doesnt drop his current partner in the poo too ------------- 
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 6:59pm
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^^ HAH Snap that.
It really pisses me off that a lot of people think i restrict him, like today i got a rev-up from a mutual friend as ex is in the army and obv would have liked to have had Max with him for the parades etc. Its also my dads bday today (he died 3yrs ago) so was having a family thing but offered to go to a midday service or dusk service anyway because its important. He said nah don't worry about it because he'll want a few rums with the boys after dawn service anyway. Fine with me. But to everyone else he says "yeah...would have loved max to be there but...it just didnt work out" sad sad sad like i'm some raging bitch that just says no all the time. |
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 7:06pm
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Doubt it - him and I ended things before I even got my BFP then him and current GF got together the day after my 12wk scan. So they seem pretty stirdy. But he goes out everyweekend at the moment. Drinking etc and makes her pick him up from town..I just hope, them having this baby will give him and even her too an whole new appriciation for me doing it on my own.
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 26 April 2011 at 8:20am
| You never know, he might turn up at yours after a week of sleepness nights covered in baby sick and bow down to you. He should anyway! |
Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 26 April 2011 at 5:43pm
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Have to vent.
Got my income tax statement and it is saying I owe IRD over $1000 in income tax. I rang them up and they are saying it is from $16000 other income I earned in the 2010 tax year and they can't tell me what it is so I have to ring up the ex's accountant to find out. When we were together they included me in the end of year calculations for ex's buisness. I hope I can get out of paying it, especially since there is no way I earned that. The only income I got was wages from my casual job and WFF up until July 2010 and the DPB since then. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 26 April 2011 at 6:42pm
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Flutterby- that must suck, they would have used you to hide some money somewhere so they didnt have to pay tax. I would ring them up and ask what is going on (nicely), then if they dont answer soon enough start getting pissy. Then if you still get no answers ring IRD and tell them you received no money, there is no proof in your bank accounts, and that your ex is trying to pull a fast one.... Good luck -------------
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 27 April 2011 at 3:37pm
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Flutterby - not nice! I hope you can sort it and dont end up having to pay that $$. I find IRD soooo confusing. Im part self employed, part employed so my finances get very confusing. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 28 April 2011 at 12:27am
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Here's my vent:
I'm so mad at you, first you guilt-trip me into keeping a baby that I wasn't ready for and hadn't planned on, and two months before he's born you decide you're moving to an entirely different city for some crappy music degree?! For christs sake, you're 32, it's time to grow up and take care of your kids. You're not going to be a rockstar, and you're not going to get some flash music producer job. This is New Zealand. You're deluded if you seriously think your ex-wife is going to drive your daughter down every weekend to see you, and you're deluded if you think that seeing our boy for a couple hours every other weekend is going to make you a daddy. You moan about not seeing your daughter enough, but you don't do anything about it! You've had more than six months now to go to the Family Court and report that she's not sticking to the Parenting Agreement, and how is moving away from her going to help? You drive me mental sometimes. And seriously, you ask me to come pick out a carseat with you, which I'm more than happy to do, and you pick it out and leave me to foot the entire $150 bill? This is your baby, too, and you're the one with the car! Of course I was mad when you bought your flash new phone, I haven't bought anything more than a block of chocolate for me in the past eight months because you won't shell out a cent for the baby that you were so keen on having. Don't tell me you're going to come around all the time and be here for us when you're not. Don't tell your friends how excited you are when you're going to piss off to Dunedin to play your crappy guitar. Stop coming to scans and having all the fun stuff when you won't do any of the boring, expensive stuff. Look after your children, for goodness sake. Bah! |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 27 May 2011 at 7:29pm
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grrrr . i txt "sperm donor" tonight , first time we have had any contact since i called him after the earthquake to tell him his daughter was still alive , i just sent him a short txt asking him if he would like to see Amelia anytime because i do think its important to know who her birth father is even if she doesnt have a relationship with him , he bloody txt me back with a pxt of his new baby daughter , her name (same middle name as Amelia ) , he said he was married now and that his new daughter was beautiful (i knew he was married) and went on about a new job and how he was making heaps of money ???? WTF? hes such a frigging showoff , he changes jobs as often as he changes his underware so i doubt this one will last , he said he wanted to see Amelia and for her to meet her new sister . I just thought it was the weirdest thing to send me a photo of his new baby and tell me hes making lots of money , esspecially when hes never paid a single cent towards Amelia and he hasnt seen her in a year , im regretting txting him , i dont know what i was thinking, that txt he sent me has reminded me exactly why im not with him and why i dont try more for him to have contact with Amelia! GRRRRRRR! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 27 May 2011 at 8:49pm
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Awww hugs Julz -------------
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 28 May 2011 at 2:57pm
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After getting different advice from different people at IRD I finally talked to them in person and all I have to do is supply my bank statements and his company bank statements. Though ex didn't send all of them up so am still waiting for the rest to arrive. In the meantime a refund that I worked out I get from 2006 has been put on the tax bill, could so of used that to pay my power bill . At least it'll all be reversed once the realise that I never earn't all that money.
Ex was suppose to come up last week to spend some time with Rose and take Cody back with him for a couple of weeks, but he had to work so didn't come up in the end. Am so glad that the kids are too young to have got their hopes up over him coming up. He texted me last night and asked how we all are. I told him Cody grumpy, Rose unhappy cause she got her 3mth jabs, and I am tired. Then he replies that he is about to go hunting . And whenever he has Cody he still goes hunting or fishing or to the pub and just leaves Cody with a family member. He lives in his own little world. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 28 May 2011 at 6:39pm
Boo at ALL of your baby daddys. Especially yours Julz, wtf sort of response is that! She's lucky to have your new partner as a great male influence in her life. Becbarrer, if you need a hand you know i'm in the same town as you, happy to meet for coffee and a chat if you need. Or, you know, decaf and a chat  . Possible i will have some baby clothes you can have too if you need, Max is about to go up a size.
Flutterby ditto on them not knowing that their dad is coming, Maxs dad is always saying 'i'll come down on thurs' then cancels midday thursday, i don't know how that will work when Max is older, either he will have to stick to his plans or i won't tell him that his dad is coming. Ack! |
Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 3:41pm
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GRRRRR,
after how nice and co-operative we have been since you moved closer, you go and ruin it all with a petty argument because you never listen or look at how what you think affects the other side! No your pig of a g/f who you left me for is not welcome at our son's 1st Birthday, nobody wants her there. And don't even think about comparing my current relationship with yours...remember you left me to sleep with her....i didn't leave you and run off with the person you trusted the most. Having petty arguments will just make me resist more and make it more difficult for you, it doesn't get you anywhere. I don't care about you and the life you have chosen, just don't bring my DP into the argument for arguments sake. Grow up and apreciate all the hard work and long nights i have endured by myself to shape our child into the awesome kid he has become. everything and i mean everything i do is what i believe is best for him so don't tell me what i can and can't do in the home that i have worked so hard to recreate in the last 6 months. You lost that right the night you chose her over me. GRRRRR!!!! Vent over ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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