Single parenting - Parenting Agreements etc

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Parenting Agreements etc

Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Single parenting
Forum Description: Share tips, trials and tribulations about parenting alone
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37013
Printed Date: 27 November 2024 at 8:52am
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Topic: Parenting Agreements etc

Posted By: ....
Subject: Parenting Agreements etc
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 10:44pm

Hiyah everyone.

I've been reading up on parenting orders etc online, and trying to find tips of what to include, but they all seem to cater to recently separated couples with children at least a few years old.

I'm 12 weeks along at the moment (I know it's early, but I just want to make sure I don't miss anything) and I need to make up a plan that suits us both fairly, and caters to a newborn child.

We're on very good terms, we're even going to Christchurch together tomorrow, so we'd rather be able to sort something out between us, and just have it finalized by the court.

What arrangements do you have?
What extra handy bits did you add?
What would suit a newborn?

Replies:

Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 08 December 2010 at 12:33am

All i know is that (according to petrie-clark or whoever they are in town - you are in Timaru, right?) you can't actually get anything legally finalised until the baby is born.

I seperated from my partner at about 12 weeks, so i thought i was going to be clever and get it all legalised before baby is born but it can't be done apparently!

oH, and there are parenting agreements and parenting orders - apparently the agreement is when you agree (duh) on things and the order is when the court makes the decisons for you. Obviously you are after a parenting agreement. I might be a bit off on my definitions there, so don't quote me on that.

Anyway, to answer your actual question:

My ex and i agreed that to start with he isnt getting any visits of any kind that i'm not also there for, mainly because i am sole provider of milk. Fortunatly we are on pretty good terms so thats not a problem for either of us.

Oh, and we also discussed things to do with the birth - if he is going to be there, if he isnt when can he come to the hospital, can he bring his parents to the hospital etc. Probably not something for a parenting agreement but might be worth talking about.

I am not much help, actually, we have just hashed out child support so i can tell you all about what we agreed on there but not much custody wise!

Hopefully someone else will be able to help.

Posted By: happymumma
Date Posted: 08 December 2010 at 8:32am

You can agree on a parenting agreement any time you like but a parenting order (which is legally binding) goes through the courts so I would imagine that if you needed one that would have to wait for a while.

We separated when my daughter was 5 weeks old so the parenting agreement I drew up might be useful to look at. I used the Family Court one as a guideline and although it seemed that a few of the issues were a long way off he has already attempted to re-neg on one financial issue that came up so it has been useful to have it.

If you want mine to have a look at just PM me and I will send it through.