Moving out alone!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Single parenting
Forum Description: Share tips, trials and tribulations about parenting alone
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39839
Printed Date: 24 November 2024 at 5:42am
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Topic: Moving out alone!
Posted By: Plushie
Subject: Moving out alone!
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 9:03pm
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I know a few of you ladies live alone with your little ones, whats that like? I really need to get a move on with moving out of moms and into our own place. I keep putting it off because i want to return to work but its becoming increasingly obvious i can't return to my current job (on maternity leave) because its in a dicky location with no daycare and i wouldnt trust DSs dad with a pet rock.
My concerns are being able to afford a place with one income - i'm on the DPB at the moment but have just started sending my CV out to local places so that will possibly change soon. Not to get too personal into peoples finances but how do you possibly manage? Rent is cheap here (looking at $250ish) but i can't see how i can afford it even if i lived totally no frills. Then there is the problem that i've lived in furnished accomodation for most of my adult life so i have a lot of baby things but literally own nothing for a house by myself, like seriously, i dont even own a bed. Or cutlery. Or pots or pans. I guess i am really asking someone to come and do all the hard work for me because i'm afraid and its all so difficult! Words of encouragement, anyone? |
Replies:
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 9:07pm
| Also is it seriously creepy? because i often leave a light on when i'm home alone but when its me paying the bill i won't be! But i can't help but imagine serial killers lurking! |
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 9:21pm
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Not a single mum but have lived on my own! Its not that bad, you get used to it you really do.
Is there a possibility of renting a furnished place? Up here there is often furnished properties for rent. Otherwise the warehouse will be your best friend for cheap things. A crockery set can cost as little as $10 and if you start buying bits and putting them in a box in a cupboard you won't realise how much you accumulate I certainly didn't and we ended up having too much crockery lol. I believe if your on the DPB you get accommodation paid for? Correct me if I'm wrong anyone but it depends on where you are as to how much they pay. I know here in places in Auck they will give as much as $300 for a place to rent shame that a 2brm is more then that. If your serious about moving out I would start by buying bits and pieces each week when you can afford it. You already live budget I believe and do your own gardening etc. And as for is it creepy just go with your gut instincts when you look at a place, we looked at a place and I felt unsafe there fine during the day but when DP was working nights I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable. Every place I have lived I have felt comfortable being on my own there and as DP works till all hours of the night I was never worried about being home alone and having anyone try and get in. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 9:31pm
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When you move out would you be able to take a bed from your mums? Stuff from there?
DP and I rent on a VERY tight budget. We are renting a place that is $350 (Wellington, 3 bedrooms) so about average price. Power, we turn everything off when not in use. Only one light on and stay in the same room (lounge) at night... Showers/Baths, DD and I do that together and DP by himself... Supposedly to save water. Look for a place that has fridge and washing machine and/or dryer if you want. $250, what does that include? 1 bedroom or more? Where we were looking $250 was a 1 bedroom or a small 2 bedroom. $250-300 was our initial budget so for us renting a $350 a week place means that would have been our savings $50 a week. Groceries we spend $100 a week/$200 a fortnight. Meet, vegies and bits and bobs. Some weeks we spend under $200 other weeks we spend more. When we spend under $200 we save the difference and use it for the weeks we need more - things you don't get weekly like flour, cleaning stuff (unless you make your own) etc. If you think moving out will be a while, slowly start buying things now. Would having a flat mate be an option? Otherwise look out for sales and often places like Briscoes, Warehouse, Kmart etc sell 'starter kits' for pots and pans, etc. Work out a budget first... We save $50 per week for power so $200 a month, $25 per week for internet (it's actually $70 for internet so we have $30 left over), we don't have a phone line - just cellphones so that's what we use the $30 for - DPs is $20 per month mine is $10. We have $100 per week for groceries or $200 fortnight. Umm... What else... I can't recall but definitely do a budget first of what you are getting now and if that changes then you can adjust it! Sorry, this is for 2 people + baby so may not be helpful but hope it helps! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mizpix
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 10:22pm
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Sorry Bowie, cant help re the money stuff as i am lucky to have a well paying job. Although I would imagine you could get lots of what you need for a house on trademe, second hand shops, garage sales and the like. A flat mate could be an option, or maybe you could find an established flat that wouldnt mind you and a baby? I'm sure they exist.
I can say that it's not creepy living alone. You get used to it very quickly. Maybe spend some money on some security catches for the windows and a sensor light if you are that scared. For me I actually prefer it to having the house to myself,(most of the time). Also get to know your neighbours well, I bet you can find someone who will be happy to keep an eye out for you. Good luck ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2920e5" rel="nofollow - My Ovulation Chart |
Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 1:16am
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It's not too creepy living alone unless you've got little ghost vents around the place. I always have to cover them up incase of zombies.
I'm back at my mums now for what looks to be quite some time, and I have a full kitchen worth of stuff that isn't going to be used to a very long time, so you are welcome to all of that. Kettle, toaster, crockery, cutlery etc. We've also got a large bar fridge that you're welcome to on long-term loan, and possibly a washing machine. |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 7:59am
Bowie were are you living we have some household stuff you could buy cheap or borrow if you want ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 9:41am
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Nwaah thats guys, Bec i won't take your things off you! You never know when you and bubs might want to strike out. Though having said that i have a mega box of NB naps here if you want them if you havent already popped!!
James im in the south island i think you're in the north, right? I am starting to accumulate things like plates and sheets and things. I am fairly sure my mom will let me take a bed and probably a couch. Besides i spend 99% of my time on the floor with bubs anyway so i dont need chairs haha. I guess its just so overwhelming and i'm lazy. I am aiming to move out closer to summer anyway so im not hit with mega power bills on top of everything else. $250 here will get you http://www.trademe.co.nz/property/residential-property-to-rent/auction-388048603.htm - this creepy house, or http://www.trademe.co.nz/property/residential-property-to-rent/auction-383667911.htm - this one which i may go view or i could go $360 and get http://www.trademe.co.nz/property/residential-property-to-rent/auction-390285664.htm - this pretty one! |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 9:46am
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no i am in the south island too down in good old dunners ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Stephi
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 1:26pm
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I live on my own in Tauranga and am also on the DPB.
I pay 280 a week rent for a small two bedroom (the prices here are horrendous, but I live in one of the best areas so gotta pay the price)... I manage incredibly well to be honest. I put 50 a week aside for bills (power and internet/phone arent much when its just me), 25 aside for formula and spend around 70 on food and 20 on petrol. That leaves me with around 50-60 dollars for "spending money" to get what ever else I need, like clothes for LO or myself, or just top ups of things like bread and milk. I usually dont spend all that though, so put it aside for bills or whatever. ------------- 
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Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 2:31pm
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Im in the process of finding a house for me and DD. We get a good accommodation supplement here in Nelson so its really helpful. This is my weekly plan.
$288 DPB $88 WFF $110 Acc Supp $250 rent $100 Food $50 Petrol $10 Water (we have to pay up here  )
$34 for bills (insurance, power, phone) $17 Car- maintenance, WOF, rego etc... $10 savings This gives me $15 left for other stuff. I quite often dont spend the full amount on food and petrol so get vouchers for a later date. $250 is the cheapest I can afford, I will hopefully find a small 2bdrm house or flat for that. Our local hospice shop, sally army, st vincent are all really good places to pick up cheap good stuff. You can talk to WINZ about getting help towards getting furniture. ------------- 
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Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 4:32pm
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I love that house in Geraldine, I would love to live there but I'd have to dress up all old-timey and steampunky everyday and prance around the halls all day long.
And have a ghost dog. D&M Properties have a few decent priced places every now and then. |
Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 10 July 2011 at 12:12pm
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It's not that bad. I am on the DPB and pay $270 a wk for rent ($126 accom supp). I also put money into the bills each week instead of one lump sum. Mum does help out alot. She got us a heap of groceries 4wks ago and I have only needed to get a few things each week since then. I got most of my furniture on TM, most expensive was my lounge suite at $150, it is old but having two young kids I don't want anything flash.
If I stopped going to the shops each week and being tempted by things then it would be so much easier. So if you are strong and stick to a budget then it should be easy enough. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 10 July 2011 at 1:08pm
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sh*t, Wriggles thats a brilliant list i should break it down like that. Now i just need to accumulate enough *stuff* to move with. I got the goal in mind to be in our own place by new year, if not Xmas so a bit of time to accumulate stuff! Actually should make a list of stuff...
pots/pans cutlery crockery fridge washing machine couch/chairs TV Table/chairs Bed Drawers Storage/bookshelves Drawers for DS Storage for DS's toys and whatnots. Linen (bed, towels, tea towels etc) Vacum Cleaner - thats the absolute basics i can think off, anyone want to add to that? Excluding baby stuff (cot etc) obviously because i have all that already. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 10 July 2011 at 3:11pm
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Go and check out your local Warehouse - all of the stores are doing some mean clearance stuff at the moment, especially homewares (glasses, sheets, plates, dinner sets etc) and you can easily pick up some good stuff for well under $10/15. I got my fridge off TM for $102, and my washing machine was also off TM for $120 - both are sweet as, work perfectly well although a little rough round the edges. My bed and drawers were free from a friend of a friend - it's amazing what people find for you!! Most of my linen was given to me as well, by family or friends.
Write down the actual utensils that you need as well - tin opener, vegetable peeler, sharp knives etc. I found that I thought I had everything until...I went to open a tin of tomatoes. Whoops!!! I pay $250 pw for a (small!) 3 bdrm house, but I live out of the main part of town (which also means a lower accom supplement). I'm shocking at budgets though, so yeah... |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 10 July 2011 at 3:47pm
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Haha yeah i just went out to the briscoes 60% off sale and was like toasters! cooking utensils! heaters! lamps!
Im pretty sure my mom will hook me up with some reject towels and sheets and things but i dont like to take these things for granted. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 10 July 2011 at 6:19pm
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Watch Briscoes... MIL got some stuff from our local one... They had stuck sale stickers over the original price and the sale price was MORE than the RRP! She took them all back with the receipt and got a refund but apparently happens A LOT! Including Spotlight here too.
Briscoes have a sale every week though. Try 2nd hand shops too. I haven't found our local Salies or St Vinnie's shops to be cheap though. Better looking on TM just make sure you view and test. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 10 July 2011 at 7:43pm
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I am lucky that I have a reasonably well paying job, but in saying that my mortgage is crippling for a single parent on a part time wage good though it may be. Hence why I have a flatmate.
She is away a bit though and I don't really find it creepy on my own so much as incredibly lonely. Even when she is here she sticks to herself and watches her own TV and eats her meals downstairs by herself. I love that she is not in my face but still....very lonely. When I split with my husband I replaced a lot of the stuff I lost with stuff I brought at the Salvation Army and local second hand stores. I brought a cool table and chairs off trademe and got my TV + cabinet for $50. My couch was on massive mark down as it had a rip in the back of it (can't see that when its against the wall) and I got DD's drawers really cheap because the leg came off them and they had a big scratch in the side (damaged in the delivery truck) and Farmers were selling them for $50! Didn't take much to get the leg fixed and I don't care about a scratch. You just gotta write a list of what you need and keep your eye out for good deals. The Salvation Army is great for kitchen utensils and crockery if you don't have a lot to spend. And in their shop here the stuff turns over really quickly so I go in quite a bit coz they always have new stuff. Don't forget about stuff like a laundry basket, buckets, basic tools (hammer, screwdrivers etc), rags for cleaning, dish rack, plastic containers etc. Also you could stock up on stuff that costs a bit like cleaning prodcts, laundry powder, basic food items (tinned stuff) that you will need when you move in. When I moved back in to my place there was so much that I needed that I had forgotten. Mosty stuff like I would go to cook something and realise I didn't have sugar or butter, or beef stock or a whisk or something. When you do stuff during the day think about what you are using and try and write it down. Its the little stuff that gets forgotten till you need it. Like we had a power cut not long after DD and I moved into our house and I realised I had no candles or matches and I didn't have a torch! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 10 July 2011 at 9:47pm
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Good point Shelt....I don't have candles or a torch either...must remedy that!!
I should say - living alone doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't leave any lights on at night or anything, but I make sure the doors etc are all locked. I have security lights as well. I don't really find it lonely either, BUT I have never minded living by myself, and very rarely had flatmates in the 12 or so years I've been living away from home. Oh - one really good thing to get is a rubbish bin - one that you can put outside and close. Lifesaver (and nose saver )
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Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 11 July 2011 at 12:01am
| The Crows Nest would be good for all your kitchen stuff, you could probably get the lot for about five bucks. |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 11 July 2011 at 6:37am
| Haha good point Bec, i'll go investigate and trade with the gypsies! Minik8e man you're brave. I might have to give up my beloved patricia cornwell and criminal minds. Half the reason i stay sane here is because the dog parks at freaking everything so i am comforted by his presense! I think i'll be braver with DS in the house though, just because i'll have to be. |
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 11 July 2011 at 12:58pm
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I am not particularly scared at night of creepy stuff, I am scared when DD is sick and I don't know what to do and there is no one there to ask (or help). It happened again on Saturday night that she woke up coughing coz she has croup and she was screaming and coughing which made her vomit (she does that when she gets worked up and can't breathe coz she has asthma) and there was just me and I didn't know what to do. I only have two hands and I can't put the sick child down or she screams some more and then retches but still have to try and calm her down and clean up and get her some pamol and get her inhalor and work out how to help her stop coughing and breathe etc etc....So stressful. Then with her asthma its like is it bad enough to go to the hospital or should I keep pumping ventolin into her and hope she is ok....I never know what to do or where to start when that happens. Thats the bit that I find scary. I'm in charge and I might make the wrong decision. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 11 July 2011 at 1:56pm
aww hun i couldnt written the same thing my boy has asmtha aswell its soo scary big hus ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Shelt wrote:Posted By: james
Date Posted: 11 July 2011 at 1:59pm
------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 03 August 2011 at 9:26pm
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I moved into my own place when C was a month old,I was desperate to be out of Bethany (the home for young mums where Id been living) And I moved into the first place that agreed to have me.
It was this poky little 2 bedroom unit at the end of a long driveway,and I never felt safe there,especially with all the trees around. Particularly after one night when I heard a tapping at the window and then at the front door and just as I was about to call the cops they called my name and it ended up being a guy I was seeing "oh,I just came to see if you're ok" ..."well I WAS till you scared me half to death!" I barely slept at all while I lived there,but it wasn't cos I was alone,it was because of the long driveway and everything so my advice in looking for a place would be to look for one that is in close proximity to other houses. Otherwise,all the rest of it,its not too bad,you learn pretty quickly that you have to budget,do make sure you have friends you can call at night after Max has gone to bed and you are feeling lonely for adult company ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 03 August 2011 at 9:29pm
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Oh and I paid $360 for mine. For a 2bedroom unit in below average condition that wasn't fenced or anything. Good old Auckland house prices...now $360 would get a one bedroom bedsit in this area -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: KAC09
Date Posted: 14 August 2011 at 11:54am
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Hey, my rent is $250 & all up I get almost $500. I barely make ends meat as im also a student. I pay $35 for bond & my washing machine from Winz, then $70 of expensives, ( this includes internet, power, childcare, a small amout to wof & registration costs. then up to $70 of petrol, leaving $70 for food and other expensives like uni textbooks, cell phone etc.
I share a bedroom with my son so my 2 bedroom house is big enough to also host an exchange student, which pays $190 a week, but is only for 2 weeks. But helps with the lonelyness of living alone, and bills etc. I highly recommend it. |