How to go about Surrogacy
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Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40117
Printed Date: 04 December 2024 at 7:11pm
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Topic: How to go about Surrogacy
Posted By: Luckymama23
Subject: How to go about Surrogacy
Date Posted: 06 August 2011 at 4:21pm
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Hi ladies, just wondering if anyone knows how to go about the surrogacy process?
I have had a look at the surrogacy nz website, but could only see info on the legal implications, rather than what to do/ where to find a surrogate etc. Any thoughts would be much appreciated :) ------------- 2 superstars too many miscarriages 2009-2014 |
Replies:
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 08 August 2011 at 1:31pm
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I imagine that you could talk to a provider like FA or Repromed. I know that often the adds you see asking for egg/sperm donations ask people to call them and quote a case number. They'll probably have a good idea how to proceed with surrogacy too.
It's something I think I'd seriously consider doing once we've finished our family - I seem to have no problems with being pregnant, but know the pain of trying for a long time without sucess (and thereofre exactly how much you'd be giving to the couple you did it for). -------------   
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Posted By: choco69
Date Posted: 12 August 2011 at 5:29pm
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kazza - have you joined the nz-surrogacy.com website :) as on there they have a number of people who are surrogates, who have used surrogates or are in the process of looking for one - finding a surrogate can take time however they will be able to answer any questions you have - PM me if you want to know more info ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Luckymama23
Date Posted: 15 August 2011 at 6:08pm
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Cool, thanks Choco! That one looks much more useful than wherever I ended up first time xx
& thanks Hopes, will try giving them a call too! its strange there is so little info available ------------- 2 superstars too many miscarriages 2009-2014 |
Posted By: MaeBeeBaby
Date Posted: 01 September 2011 at 1:32pm
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Let your friends know you are looking for one - I did this in passing, and had 2 wonderful friends offer - I couldn't believe it! But I didn't take them up on the offer for various personal reasons, no reflection on them.
I have also seen adverts in magazines that Fertility Associates have placed on behalf of people, someone called Angela seems to be the contact. I would imagine it's a broad-spectrum ad, not just for one couple, but could be worth finding out how to get into that circle of finding a surrogate? |
Posted By: luha226083
Date Posted: 23 September 2017 at 11:05pm
| Hi, I'm a new member of this forum. And I would like to tell you my story and ask your advice. Now I'm not married, but I live in a civil marriage. And my husband really wants a child, although he already has children from a previous marriage. But the problem is that I need to do IVF. But I'm afraid of the consequences of IVF. Because I read a lot of information about this on the Internet. And now I'm thinking about using the program of surrogate motherhood. My husband agrees, but our relatives are against it. They do not support us at all, they are discussing us. It really annoys me, and my husband says that I would not pay attention to it. But the problem is not only this, but that we live in England. This is certainly not a problem, many people even envy it. But here commercial surrogate motherhood is forbidden. And we were very upset, because we will have to fly to another country. And this means that we will have to spend more money. In general, we do not have much money to spend on flights. And I would like to ask your advice. My husband says that you need to fly to America. But it is very expensive, if we calculate how much we spend on flights, then we can go crazy. But in America, the service of surrogate motherhood is very expensive. The husband says that you need to take a loan from the bank. But I do not want to, but if we can not give it away. After all, my husband does not earn much, we probably will have to give credit for a very long time. I would like to ask, where did you fly for the program of surrogate motherhood? Where there are good, but inexpensive clinics? Perhaps you can help us save money and time searching for a clinic. And also tell us how to hide it from relatives. We just got tired of hearing their reasoning. Because they climb into our lives absolutely insolently. We can not cope with them anymore, you see, we are no longer in contact with my husband's family. I certainly understand that this is wrong, but what to do if it does not work out otherwise. In addition, they begin to take our money. This irritates us even more. We do not even know how to deal with these problems. |
Posted By: Wikq225913
Date Posted: 23 September 2017 at 11:43pm
| Hi Luha, I am also a new participant of this forum. But I'm familiar with the problem of surrogate motherhood. Therefore, my sister and I also searched for a suitable clinic and country for a long time. She also enjoyed the service of a surrogate motherhood. But we flew to Ukraine, in our country as well as in your country, commercial surrogate motherhood is prohibited. In Ukraine it is much cheaper than in America. In America in general, very expensive. I do not even imagine who can afford a mere surrogate motherhood in America. Probably only very rich people. We were at the clinic biotexcom in Kiev. We really liked it there. In addition, we noticed that a lot of foreign citizens are being treated in this clinic. And all this because the price in Ukraine is acceptable. Doctors are professionals. My sister is very pleased. They spoke in English, so there was no language barrier. Of course, sometimes we had to wait, because the clinic had many patients. But before that we visited many clinics in Kiev and there was empty. Patients were not there at all and we were very surprised. We decided that it would be better to go to a clinic in which there are patients. Even if we have to wait a bit for our turn. But we will be sure that doctors have work experience. To that a large number of patients can only be in the clinic that works for the result. I can say that you do not need to communicate with people who do not support you. If it's your husband's parents, then they should be older, which means it's wiser. Therefore they must understand you and help, even if they do not agree with your choice. We just need to understand that we will not achieve anything by quarreling and scandals. We must seek compromises. Only then can we communicate well with our close people. But this does not always happen, because each of us is an impulsive, selfish person. But if you decide on this procedure, then do not turn off. My sister also had unsuccessful attempts to IVF, so she agreed to a surrogate motherhood. But the IVF procedure does have many consequences and side effects. I can say that this is stress for the female body, so if you have doubts, do not do it. |
Posted By: luha226083
Date Posted: 24 September 2017 at 1:02am
| Wikq, thank you for the answer, because I thought that I would wait a long time for an answer. Since I wrote in the old topic, but still helped me. I also try to change my mind so that we choose not America. He also considered India, but I very much doubt it. And we did not even think about Ukraine, it's amazing. We will certainly read more information about this country. But can you answer another question, is this regulated by law? Is commercial surrogate motherhood permitted in Ukraine? If a surrogate mother does not want to give us a child, then what will happen? Just my husband is worried about this. But it seems to me that this will not happen. The main thing is to choose a good mother. I think she will have to treat this as a job, then everything will turn out ok. I would like this woman to live in her own country. I do not want her to come to our country and live with us. It will be very difficult for me to relax in this case. I know that many are looking for a surrogate mother on the Internet, on ads or on forums. What do you think about it? Do you think that this is correct? I very much doubt it, but my husband thinks that this way you can save money. But after all, we can find a fraud, and if she will blackmail us? I already gave an announcement on the Internet, that we need a surrogate mother. And what do you think, many women responded. But I do not want to do this, I want to be sure that this is a decent woman. And who will control it if we live in different countries? I think it's better to go to the clinic. How did your sister do it? How did they look for a surrogate mother? What are the criteria for choosing it? Of course, I know, all the standard criteria for the selection of the surrogate mothers, but can there be any nuances? Maybe you can tell something? It's just sometimes so important to consider the experience of other people to make fewer mistakes. |
Posted By: Wikq225913
Date Posted: 24 September 2017 at 3:25am
| Yes, I fully agree with you, the choice of a surrogate mother is not an easy task. If your husband decided to save money, then this is silly. Because it is from the choice of a surrogate mother that your future year of life will depend. If you trust a dishonorable woman, she can blackmail you with an abortion. And then you will spend much more money than you can save. In addition, you will not be able to verify the authenticity of her medical tests. And besides, how can you control it if the surrogate mother is not going to live with you? You see, my sister turned to the clinic to ensure that everything was secure. Because in the clinic she was offered to choose a mother's surrogate from the clinic's base. These women fully meet all the criteria. They have already been interviewed by a psychologist, and have also passed all the medical tests. For reliability of analyzes the clinic is responsible. And the reputation depends on it, therefore the probability that you make an error is insignificant. In addition, the clinic will supervise the surrogate mother. You will be sent video and photo reports. My sister was sent to them every time a surrogate mother visited the clinic. Because their surrogate also remained to live in Ukraine. It is important that a surrogate mother always has control and supervision. Therefore, this can not be saved. Your child will depend on it. Yes, they also thought that you can fly to India. But then they changed their minds, because they did not find a suitable clinic in India. But I can say that they did not regret that they chose biotexcom and Ukraine. The level of services there is European. In addition, I flew there with them. Therefore, I can say that at first we had doubts. We thought that the service would be worse than in our country. But no, we were mistaken, the equipment in the clinic is new, the wards are clean, bright, with new furniture. In the corridors there are many fresh flowers. the clinic is in the center of the city, so you can walk along the streets of Kiev. We really liked Khreschatyk. I think you should read more about this clinic on the Internet. |
Posted By: pagerlvy33237502
Date Posted: 30 March 2019 at 3:32am
| Obviously, people have shared tons of useful info here. I would like to add that we just went to a local fertility center and were advised what to do next. As to our agency in Ukraine, we contacted WCOB by email, and it was their responsibility to find an SM and to match her to a donor. As well as it is going to be their responsibility to assist us in the legal process when the baby is born. So, we have just trusted them and now are waiting for the updates. |