4yr old boys and writing??
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41076
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Topic: 4yr old boys and writing??
Posted By: Nikki
Subject: 4yr old boys and writing??
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 4:46pm
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Hey, I'm just curious how other people's 4yr old boys are / have been at writing. When I look at the list of what they need to know before school DS is (and has been for a long time) doing everything on the list APART from 1) holding the pencil correctly (he has done so at times but generally doesn't) and 2) forming letters (there is only a few he can do. He will write his name - but its pretty big and messy and he still has to copy it).
Daycare seem to think that although he is not good at writing that at least he is showing an interest and in the next 7 months he should get there. They have a philosophy of not pushing them and waiting til they are interested and then encouraging them. Which is all very well but he needs to be holding the pencil correctly before he starts school and I'm not a teacher! Its hard when I hear little girls at coffee group are writing lists of their friends names etc. I know you can't compare girls to boys as boys are about a year behind developmentally by the time they start school but its hard not to. I also know hes not exactly dumb (has been rated as having an 8yr olds maths ability at 4yrs4mths) and has awesome social skills etc ... but writing is one of those things that is so important to all subjects at school. He recognises most letters and spends quite a bit of time drawing etc. Hes more interested in being outside though to be honest! So is it normal for a boy at almost 4yrs5mths to not be good at writing?? did your boys get there by school time if they were like this? should I be worried? and how can I help him? (kindy has suggested lots of fine motor skills things, but thats it). Thanks!! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Replies:
Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 4:52pm
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I should add, my daughter picked up a pencil correctly at 14 months and has held it like that ever since .... talk about difference in the genders! I have not done anything difference with them! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 5:36pm
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Wow, things have changed a bit... I started school at almost six and I can still remember them teaching me how to hold my pencil - and I definitely didn't know how to write my name. I think I could do a 'J'. And I'm pretty sure I was never considered 'behind' in any way when I started.
I know that's not so relevant to you as that was then and this was now, but I was just fine  -------------   
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 5:37pm
| He's doing better than Daniel... he can hold a pen correctly, when he wants to but can't write his own name, even in big letters. I'm not going to force the issue though. Both the in laws are ex teachers and FIL is very into early literacy etc (enough to be a lecturer at massey) and he's told me not to worry about it yet and not to make him do it. |
Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 6:49pm
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Daycare have that "don't make them do it" policy too, and have said not to worry .... I'm TRYING not to! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: SethsMama
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:33pm
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My sister in a new entrant teacher. Most of the children that come to her have never written anything before, maybe 5% can write their name. I wouldn't stress it, you don't want him to lose his enjoyment in it, i'm sure by the time he's at school he will be bounding ahead! Sounds like he is pretty onto it! :) ------------- 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:33pm
| I know I am too but ya can't help it but I figure if all my in laws who combined have teaching experience of nearly 100 years in primary schools (if I add BIL to it as well) say don't worry.. I should probably listen! |
Posted By: SethsMama
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:34pm
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I should prob add that those who come with alphabet knowledge and some writing do tend to speed ahead of the others.
So do encourage the interest, just don't stress it...does that make sense? -------------
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 9:48pm
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Thats interesting SethsMama -- the deputy principal at the local school said kinda the opposite - she said the kids who have been at daycare's where they push them to write tend to slow down and the others tend to learn quickly and catch up, so after the first year it evens out.
He knows most of the alphabet and is interested in reading I guess - so I might focus more on that. Its just the fine motor skills / writing I worry about .... but will try not to. hehe. Kindy have suggested some activities to help with fine motor skills which should help so I'm going to try a few of those ... ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 02 December 2011 at 7:54pm
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I'm an ECE teacher. Wee have a wee mini room in our centre, that is like 'my classroom'. I teach in there full time, with my wee budgie hehe. The children can work self directed, or I can direct, but don't hold them if I can't hold their interest, if that makes sense. The room has shelves all around with various resources on diplay, and they choose something and then work away quitely at it. It's just a different style of learning.
We work on drawing and pencil control, but again if the interest isn't there I don't push it - I've seen parents push their children past interest, to the point of resistance through whatever means possible. It's our job to instil a love of learning into the kids before they head onto school. I very much notice the difference between boys and girls too, and given what your son does know, I genuinely think he's going to be fine at school. In saying that, this happens to be one of the most popular toys in that room, for boys and girls alike: http://www.iqtoys.co.nz/product/33071/leapfrog-scribble-and-write/ I thoroughly reccomend it for anyone who is interested in teaching their children to write :) -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: RubySoho
Date Posted: 07 December 2011 at 8:14pm
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I'm really late to this, not qualified, don't have an older son but I read a LOT. I've come across a lot of research about boys and school and a popular consensus is that boys need to achieve their gross motor skills before they can fine tune their fine motor skills. So the best thing you can do for your son to develop his writing skills is to take him to the park, get him climbing and swinging and tumbling etc etc. Get him moving, running, hopping, skipping. The more he develops those skills the faster his brain will be able to focus on the fine motor stuff. -------------   tinyurl.com/6ptm6bn - My Blog
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 08 December 2011 at 10:03pm
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Thanks Flake, dad is getting him one of those for Xmas!
Hey Ruby - yeah I have heard that too, and kindy have suggested some things to do (hanging etc). Its hard though, cos he has always had really good gross motor skills from a young age (could drop kick a ball at 15months! jumped with two feet before other kids his age etc) and he also already does alot of what you suggested .... so I don't know how much more physical stuff he could do in a day.  And while I do believe the research -- I think part of the reason boys are behind girls developmentally at this age is that they generally prefer the physical stuff and spend less time focusing on the fine motor skills. I have a boy and a girl so have seen the vast differences in development over the last few years.------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: SophieD
Date Posted: 09 December 2011 at 8:20am
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My teaching experience is with slightly older children (6-7 year olds) and I would totally agree with the 'encourage but don't push' strategy. Fine motor skills take time to develop, especially for boys, who as you say generally are far better at gross motor skills early on.
The only thing I would add is if they do happen to pick up a pen etc I would gently encourage the correct grip. In my opinion it doesn't matter what they do with the pen, eg draw, scribble, but if you can encourage the correct grip then that makes it easier for when they do learn to write. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tigger,roo
Date Posted: 26 December 2011 at 8:47pm
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my son starts school in aug, he is only just started drawing smiliey faces with hair. he does hold the pen correctly. Daycare dont push just encourage. He trys to write numbers but when writing wants to do signatures. have been told by the school as long as he trys and can recognise his name he will be fine. She said its more important 4 him to want to learn. also to teach him lower case letters. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Angels - March'11, Nov '10, May '10 |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 9:48pm
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My son is about a month older than your son Nikki and he sounds very similar. He is absolutely fantastic with numbers, socialising and physical activities and everything else he puts his mind to but he doesn't hold a pencil correctly and has no interest in writing whatsoever. His kindy has said he is very bright but haven't mentioned anything about writing yet.
He can write his own name but it's Sam so only three letters long. |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 10:23pm
LOL, my Sam can write her name but always writes it 'AMS' and I should add that her A's look like P's. Typcial that my child should learn to write PMS at 4!!!
I just wanted to say that I am not sure it is particularly a boy thing. My daughter has always excelled at the physical things like climbing, rolling, jumping, running etc but has no interest at all in learning to read or write. She holds her pencil like its a dagger in her fist! I ( and her Kindy teachers) constantly remind her to hold it correctly and use stamps to positively reinforce it, but she won't naturally do it. She loves to draw and paint, but just doesn't want to write! I am not worrying at this stage - will be getting tougher on it once she is 5 as we are going to be home schooling. At this stage I am happy to let her just be 4 and enjoy being a little girl :) Oh and my little guy has been holding a pencil correctly from the beginning too - what's with that! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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mamanee wrote: