Starting Kindy
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41130
Printed Date: 23 November 2024 at 9:10am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Starting Kindy
Posted By: JoJames
Subject: Starting Kindy
Date Posted: 05 December 2011 at 12:48pm
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Leaving today (day 3) there was screaming and crying and it was awful, I was teary and it was really hard, last week I just gave up and didn't leave him, but I thought today that I would try to be firm with him and apparentely he didn't cry for long.
Everyone I've talked to says that they've had to leave their children crying and it does get better. So I was just wondering if you've had to leave your child screaming at the gate and did it get better, and is it really worth it? ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 05 December 2011 at 3:02pm
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Yes it's worth it. Maybe see if you can get the teachers to distract him with an activity while you're leaving? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 05 December 2011 at 4:36pm
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No he's too clever for that, he is very aware of where I am, I tried to go to the toilet while someone read him a book and he ran after me screaming, thankfully today went ok and he doesn't seem too traumatised, though I think Wednesday will be another battle.
------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 05 December 2011 at 4:58pm
| It's well worth it. Daniels teachers get him to wave goodbye at the window and we made up a big story about how Daniel goes to daycare and told him about all the cool things he does and ended it with and then mummy comes back. We told him that story each night so it sunk in. Teachers said he stopped crying pretty much as soon as i was out of sight |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 05 December 2011 at 7:39pm
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I work in ece - I promise it happens all of the time. Often, we can send a teacher out to the carpark and let them know a child has settled
See if you can meet with their key teacher, to come up with a routine that suits you and him/her, to provide stability for her/him. It's much easier when a parent can follow the routine and then leave - because the child does pick up on a parents anxiety. I've been on both ends, I know it's not easy!! Ask if a teacher or someone in the office can please call you when he settles, so you can be reassured he's having a good time and don't spend the session worrying :) Hang in there!  -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 07 December 2011 at 3:40pm
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Well this morning, DH told James to be a good boy at kindy and then went to work, James then cried for 20 mins because he didn't want to go and I was in tears. So I called my aunt who is a kindy teacher and she told me to pull him out. (she had other advice, but this was what I wanted to hear) So I did and I feel really good about that decision, we will try again maybe next year, but at the moment it Just makes James too sad and me too anxious and guilty and I don't feel like its worth going through the screaming every day in the hopes that he will eventually settle, and then it will be christmas and that will disrupt the flow. so yeah. I have instigated rest period in his room so at least I get a break from him. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 07 December 2011 at 5:16pm
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Theres been similar posts from me in the last few months about DD starting school!
We had crying at night about school, crying for over an hr each more, and then she had to be dragged from my leg by the teacher in the morning, and spent morning tea and lunchtime crying for me and holding the duty teachers hand. I felt sick with guilt that she was so miserable, and thought I had made the completely wrong decision by starting her at school and that I should have waited til the start of next year. She was exactly the same when she started at childcare at 15months old, and she had never been anywhere else new without me since then, and is a bright, confident fun girl so I wasnt expecting this at all. The only thing that helped her back when she was a toddler was me switching my attitude to being up-beat/ enthusuaistic and happy about her being there- after 6 months of crying she swicthed suddenly into being happy to go, as soon as I was! The same thing has worked with school- she is loving it now and even the teachers are commenting on how different she is now, 6 weeks down the track from when she started. It was really hard being positive when she was so sad,...but when she said things like " I dont want to go to school cos I miss you", I would say, " I know u miss mummy, and I miss you too, but you will have fun at school doing xyz, and I will be there to pick u up at 3 o'clock". I have no idea what I could have done differently to prepare her so she didnt go through this, but Im deffinatly glad I didnt pull her out as she is now so happy, loves school, is learning heaps, has lots of new friends. Shes grown so much in so many ways, its awesome to see! I know its not the same with u since hes 3 and its kindy not school,...just kinda wanted to warn u what may be ahead too, and u not the only one who has been though this, and there is a happy end to our rough start! |
Posted By: notenufchaos
Date Posted: 08 December 2011 at 6:43pm
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my DD settled into kindy really well, and had never been anywhere without me before other than very occasional babysitting from friends - But our kindy offers a playgroup where you attend one afternoon a week with your child and this gives them the chance to become familiar with the teachers and the kindy (this is during a normal kindy session so was a normal busy day) and i definitely think that this is the reason she settled so well - she is a shy reserved little girl too.
Would you be able to discuss this with the kindy? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 1-25/05/2008 DD 2-2/2/2010 |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 16 December 2011 at 7:47pm
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A friend went through this recently. It helped that her husband did some drop off's - she was fine for him no screaming.
In the end they just persisted. Teachers said that she was fine again within a few minutes. I used to nanny a girl and she would cry when her mum left as we would wave goodbye. Then by the time mum was at the end of the driveway she would be absolutely fine. Not a bother for the rest of the day about mummy. Each child is different and you know your child best. I see your point that is it worth it with kindy breaking up for the year, but now he knows that next year of he makes a fuss it will end in him not having to go, so may be tricky again. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Kate08
Date Posted: 16 December 2011 at 9:48pm
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We did daycare rather than kindy, and the teacher-child ratio is a lot better so maybe our problems weren't too bad because a teacher could take the time to be with my daughter?
Anyway, I remember dropping her off and leaving her screaming. I set off to work crying my eyes out and pulled over after 5 mins. I thought, I'll ring daycare and if she's still crying I'll just go back and get her. I rang back and she'd stopped crying and was busy with some play dough! A friend of mine had a tougher time, her laddie was 4 when he started and he'd be upset for ages. What solved it for them was upping to 2 days. Apparently going only 1 day is too hard on the child because they don't have enough time to get used to things befire it's over for another week. I guess this depends on the child?! Anyway, as shoon as he went in daycare for 2 days he was more settled and stopped crying. Try again and call in after 10mins/15mins to see how he is. You might find that he's upset for shorter and shorter amounts of time and then he'll be all good within a week! Good luck |