Do I name him on the birth certificate!??
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Category: Support
Forum Name: Single parenting
Forum Description: Share tips, trials and tribulations about parenting alone
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43621
Printed Date: 24 November 2024 at 1:50am
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Topic: Do I name him on the birth certificate!??
Posted By: Candy1
Subject: Do I name him on the birth certificate!??
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 1:16pm
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Hi Wondering if anyone has advice on weather or not I name the father on my daughters birth certificate!??? What are the pros and cons you think!!??? Her dad wants nothing to do with her, as it was only a 6 week relationship! But I would like my daughter to know who her father is from her birth certificate - but then again we are not on speaking terms so he would make it difficult if I need two signatures on forms!? Do you need both parent signatures on a NZ passport!??? What else can you think needs two signatures!??? Just don't want to make life hard for myself! Then there's the support financially that I could do with... Anyone know how much this could be each week if he earned around 90k a year! And do you get this regardless of if you work or not!??? Love to hear advice from others in similar situations! Regards |
Replies:
Posted By: LateStarterLorna
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 7:42pm
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Im sure someone will be along with more info but as far as I know he can be forced by the courts to sign the birth cert but you might need to get a dna test done first if he denies hes the father, also with his name on the cert he has rights regarding where you live, which to me wouldnt be worth the hassle. My childrens father isnt named but they will know who is regardless :) ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/weIHiFu/" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: Jessaroo
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 8:19pm
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Has he agreed to go on birth certificate even though he wants nothing to do with her? And if your on a benefit you don't receive child support from him just the extra 10-15 a week. It's still her Dad at the end of the day - he might change his mind one day which people think is unfair and his loss blah blah but its reality. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Candy1
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 9:04pm
| Humm - no he hasn't agreed to be on the birth certificate - we are not really in talking terms! I value your opinions! Thanks heaps! Maybe it's just worth the hassle to have him on her birth certificate! Guess my little girl is the best gift s man has given me! |
Posted By: Candy1
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 9:05pm
| Jessaroo - what do you mean re don't get child support from him!? I thought he had to pay no matter what until she was 18? |
Posted By: Jessaroo
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 9:14pm
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Nope - if you are on a domestic purposes benefit he pays but you don't receive child support on it. I used to worked for IRD and we would always get woman ringing up about it. You just get your benefit topped up by about $10p/w. Better off going on a private arrangement with him. Is he doubting paternity or anything like that? Your always better off having him on the birth certificate because if he isn't doubting he is the Dad but just doesn't want anything to do with the kid then it can come back to bite you if you haven't named him KNOWING who the father is. Having said that, if you want to move on with life and have agreed with him that you don't require anything of him financially or otherwise then leave him off but it has to be a forever thing, you couldn't go chasing him years down the track having changed your mind. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Jessaroo
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 9:16pm
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That message sounded harsh sorry just trying to give the facts didn't mean it to come across that way! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Candy1
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 9:20pm
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Jessaroo - no thank you! Appreciate your response! It's so hard to know what is right in this situation! Don't think he will ever change his mind regards to wanting to be part of her life! But then again who knows! So he really pays nothing then - only an additional $10 to a benefit!? Humm not worth the hassle! Thanks again - regards |
Posted By: LateStarterLorna
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 10:02pm
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Usually the amount they pay and what you receive is hugely different as the money they pay goes to the government, you just get a little bit of it. If you dont name him and go on the benefit then it will be cut by about $30 from memory. Your child will still know who the 'father' is, it doesnt have to be on a birth cert to make it real. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/weIHiFu/" rel="nofollow"> |
Posted By: JaniceN
Date Posted: 06 October 2013 at 10:24pm
| Hi if you don't name him on birth cert he has no legal rights to your daughter unless he goes through legal proceedings and DNA . And you can choose to receive it through ird if you don't accept it through winz and you get paid child support monthly 7% of his earnings per child but to get that he would have to be on cert. |
Posted By: Candy1
Date Posted: 07 October 2013 at 9:02am
| Thanks! Happy Monday!!!! |
Posted By: Jessaroo
Date Posted: 07 October 2013 at 11:18am
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If you knowingly don't put him on the birth certificate though and he changes his mind or you decide to claim something from him later on down the track your the one it comes back on. You can put him on it - and not have him sign it and even though you wont be able to claim - if it hits fan later then at least he is the one who didn't sign - not you who intentionally didn't put him down kind of thing, if that makes sense. Looks better for you. Agreed with Lorna though that he doesn't have to be on the birth certificate for him to be the Dad but you cant decide not to put him on it now (signature or no signature) and then change your mind down the track is all I'm trying to say. It's not a decision to be taken lightly! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Candy1
Date Posted: 08 October 2013 at 4:32pm
| Thanks for the addition advice! Anyone else offer advise too! I'm just so confused what to do! Help have you been thru this!? Love to hear what you think are the pros and cons! |
Posted By: Candy1
Date Posted: 09 October 2013 at 8:32am
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JaniceN - what do you mean by claim via IRD!? Do you still receive this even when you return to work regardless of what you earn!? |
Posted By: JaniceN
Date Posted: 09 October 2013 at 1:39pm
| Hey . I get my child support from my ex through ird child support department it goes by his total yearly earnings and you get paid it on the 7th of every month into your selected account and if they don't pay ird follow it up and you don't have too. You can work you just have to declare it on your taxes as income as well and you don't have to because ird know all that since it through them any way. I get it monthly for only one child now and based on my ex earnings I get nearly 400 a month . Hope that helps |
Posted By: JaniceN
Date Posted: 09 October 2013 at 1:50pm
| Can I just say I think even though they choose not to step up and be there they helped create a life and to bring them up and support them financially it is bloody expensive and monthly you'd spend more than what they have to legally give. So make him pay for that life he created until they turn the age of 18 to help with expenses it the least he can do. It takes a real man to step up and be a dad and any loser can be a father and that will be what he is stated on the birth cert father . Make him at least have to take the responsibility of paying for the life he created. |
Posted By: Candy1
Date Posted: 09 October 2013 at 8:50pm
Thanks for your advise and feedback! I agree with your comments!! Just don't want to make it hard with getting his signature for things and him being difficult as a result of being on her birth certificate! 
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Posted By: raychill23
Date Posted: 23 October 2013 at 12:12pm
| Hey i've been through a similar situation with my second child. I chose to include him on the birth certificate, although luckily in my case he was willing to sign. I don't receive his child support directly, because i'm on a benefit, but when i come off the benefit i will get his whopping $36 a month support. lucky me right? :) my main concern with having him on the certificate however is custody rights, in the event i pass away... He has now had zero contact for a year. So basically having the father on the birth certificate has it's pro/cons, but in my opinion it's better to have on there! best of luck |
Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 23 October 2013 at 12:54pm
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 23 October 2013 at 1:48pm
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I think you have to be realistic & work out what it is you want. You talk about him earning 90k & how much you could get off him, so I can understand why he doesn't want to be involved since it was only for 6 weeks. If you don't work & get a benefit then money he pays will not go to you it will go to subsidizing your benefit. If you work then he can make an agreement to pay you, either way it will not be a great amount & when he has more kids the amount he pays for your child will drop. If you name him on the birth cert then he has rights & you will have to take him into consideration. |
Posted By: sparkles69
Date Posted: 23 October 2013 at 1:58pm
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Have you talked to the family court - they maybe able to help - or the Law Society re the rights of you both, I believe that is free, hard decision as biologically he is the father but it takes a lot to be a parent, all the very best |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 23 October 2013 at 2:28pm
before you get the family court involved make sure you want him involved as there will be no going back. I agree that it takes a lot to be a parent & you will probably be the one that does it all. If he wanted to be a parent/father then your relationship would of lasted longer than 6 weeks. If he is in a situation where he is forced to pay child support he may make things difficult for you, he may want to go for joint custody, visits & may stop you leaving the country if you wanted to at some stage. |
sparkles69 wrote:Posted By: seaview
Date Posted: 23 October 2013 at 3:51pm
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You might find some advice here http://www.lawspot.org.nz/" rel="nofollow - http://www.lawspot.org.nz/ ------------- MC February 2014 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: CharlieK216760
Date Posted: 26 October 2016 at 5:16am
| Just take him to the court. If you want his name to be on a birth certificate, but he doesn't want it, you should establish paternity. You ask for establishing paternity at the court, they order dna paternity test https://dnasu.com/services/paternity-test/ Only legal testing is accepted by the court, so be attentive. Then his name is on the birth certificate, you agree on a joint custody or sole custody, he pays child support. Everything is simple. |
Posted By: roberto265834
Date Posted: 21 December 2020 at 5:07pm
| If he doesn't sign on the birth certificate then that you can take court help. All the very best |