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No sperm :( Printed From: OHbaby! Category: Support Forum Name: Coping with infertility Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here. URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43853 Printed Date: 02 June 2024 at 1:50pm Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com Topic: No sperm :( Posted By: Batmobile Subject: No sperm :( Date Posted: 30 January 2014 at 3:31am Hi, My husband and I have been TTCing for almost one year (I have two children from a previous relationship) and we have just got the results back from his semen sample and there are no sperm. It has come as a huge shock understandably. I don't feel ready to talk to my real life friends yet. Has anyone had this? What happened from there? We are doing another test and he is having an ultrasound as well as a blood test. I think we might get a private second opinion once all these tests are in as the GP pretty much said donor sperm would be our only option. Thanks for any advice you can give us, I'm feeling quite overwhelmed with the whole situation but trying not to let hubby know how disappointed I am. Replies: Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 30 January 2014 at 6:05am Hi batmobile. So sorry to hear this is what you're facing. This is exactly what we faced a couple years ago. I would recommend booking to see a fertility specialist if you can afford a private appt otherwise get your gp to refer you publicly which takes longer. If you go private for the first few appts you can be switched to publicly funded treatment later if you qualify. It's what we did and it saved loads of waiting. The fert specialist will be able to investigate further as to why there isn't sperm. They can so a needle biopsy of his testicles and look to see if there may be some lurking around that could be used for ivf with icsi (is where they directly inject sperm into eggs). We didn't opt for this due to the bloods showing dh wasn't making any sperm so went down the donor path. We've used a donor thru fertility associates and is someone we don't know. Last year I had 4 straight inseminations (iui) which didn't work and have just completed our first ivf cycle, I get the embryo put back in March (long story) It has been a long road and sometimes difficult to deal with. My partner was ok with having no sperm although took some getting his head around a donor basically he does it for me. I try not to over think the situation too much. Fertility associates are amazing and make sure you have counselling before treatment. I just think about it like the kids in my class who don't have a relationship with their birth dad but a wonderful one with their step dad that's kind if how a donor created baby is - that's just what I think. Sorry for the info overload. I'm here and happy to listen and talk whenever you want because I know how hard it is and there's not many people that I know in the same situation. Take care. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 30 January 2014 at 6:08pm Hi Baby crazy, Thanks for the reply and sharing your story (sorry how abrupt my original post sounded, that's what happens when you post at 3am lol!) We suspected there was a problem as the nurse had rung and asked us to come in and speak to the dr but jeepers we were not expecting not even one sperm! I just can't believe it really. I did some googling and I don't think we would qualify for public funding until we have been trying 3+ years and I just think if there were no sperm last time even if they find some with the next sample it is probably going to be pretty much impossible for a normal conception. The gp did say something about steroids if the reason is antibodies killing the sperm so I guess that would actually be good if it was something reversible. My two children are at school and I am so thankful we have them at least but I was quite young and in a crappy relationship when I had them so it seems so sh*tty that now I'm in a fabulous relationship and financially stable we can't have one. Then trying to think if we would pay for a cycle of if or whatever ourself? If we would go down the donor sperm path? I'm overthinking it all and should probably wait for all the tests to come back but it's so hard not to think of worst case :( Aw sounds like it has been a rough ride for you guys too. Was it weird choosing the donor? Like did you see pictures and know a bit about them? What happens legally, like is your husband the baby's legal father? Does the sperm donor have any rights or responsibilities? Sorry for all the questions, don't answer them if you don't want to. All the best for march! Exciting! Has it been difficult getting all the treatments and things yourself? Have you had to take much time off work? How many people have you told? I'm not ready to tell anyone yet. Maybe once we know for sure I might tell a few people. I'm kicking myself for even telling people we are trying. So over being asked when we are having one and how everyone seems to get pregnant by ' their man looking at them' (such a rude thing to say when you know someone is TTCing!). Are you a teacher? My husband is incredible with my children, my 8 year old actually likes him more than he likes me I think! But we talked about the possibility of a sperm donor and he was like 'I'm not sure how it would be having a kid that wasn't mine' I was like 'um what about our kids you dork' he cried more than I did when we had to leave them for three weeks for our honeymoon! So yeah biology is only such a tiny part! I'm sure your man will be awesome with your baby when it decides to arrive. Thanks again for answering, it's nice (but also crap, wish no one had this!) to know we aren't alone out there. It's such a shock to think conceiving without help probably isn't going to happen :( on the positive side at least we didn't wait years before doing the tests. I already feel like our life is on hold in case I get pregnant each month! Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 30 January 2014 at 10:36pm Hey again - didn't want to read and run but am on my phone so will give a decent reply tomorrow. Totally don't mind about sharing our experience as it's a unique experience and finding someone going through the same is hard. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 31 January 2014 at 9:38pm Ok back and on the lappy. I remember being a bit of a state of shock when we found out. The nurse thought due to DH's age that we'd had the snip but then changed her tune when he told her he hadn't! Hopefully the bloods show there's some production happening and its easily fixed. Either way its a sucky position to be in. My advice would be to try to face each hurdle as it comes as hard as it is not to over think it. Choosing a donor is a bit weird but to me 'he' has just become a number (they all have a ID number, no name) so I don't really think about it too much now. You don't get any pictures but just a profile about them which they've filled in, and they fill in as much or little as they like so some tell you more than others. They have all kinds of information from basic physical looks to interests, family history etc as well as their reason for donating. They try to match them as close to the man as possible (we filled in profiles when going on the donor list). Legally the donor has no rights etc and the child is legally the husbands because the female carries the baby. Honestly the counselling helped so much and even if you're just contemplating donor I'd recommend having a session. We're reasonably open and a lot of our friends and family know we're using a donor and about our struggle. I've found it really helpful having people who know around us and they've respected out privacy and not pried too much. We've even had a couple blokes offer a 'cupful' lol and were quite serious about it! Unfortunately the envy of everyone else getting utd without some much as a thought doesn't get easier. We've been on this road 4 years and only recently I've managed to be at peace more than I'm not at peace with hearing people's news. In terms of getting treatment once we saw fert specialists the ball moved quite fast. DH took a LONNNG time to do the sperm test so we had been trying 2.5 years before getting help. Because we paid for our first couple of appts things moved quite fast. We were on the donor list about 6mths before starting treatment. Then after our 4 iui's that didn't work we could've started IVF straight away however I had my tubes checked then put it off until January due to work (i'm a teacher). Hope that answers some of your questions. Sorry jumped all over the place lol. Keep asking I'm happy to answer. Do you mind me asking roughly what part of the country you're from? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 31 January 2014 at 10:12pm Thanks heaps for that, it's quite overwhelming thinking about how it can go. Hubby did the second test today and ultrasound will hopefully be next week so it will be good to know where we stand. I have been sitting on Google and I think if we don't qualify for funded treatment ( if we need anything!) I think we will go privately. It is expensive but in the grand scheme of things I think we will regret it if we don't give it a try. I totally pictured choosing a donor sperm like checking bad dating profiles! It sounds pretty good actually. After 6 months of TTCing I was in the resentment stage whenever anyone announced their pregnancy but I think I'll be okay once we have answers and a plan. Maybe in some ways all the tests coming back clear but still not conceiving would be worse? I don't know. I'm in Christchurch. How about you? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 01 February 2014 at 7:55am I'm in central north island. I definitely found having a plan helped a huge deal as did a bit of a reality check from dh lol ( had to tell me to snap out of it at one point). If we weren't funded we would've paid because I couldn't not try it so if you think you'll be able to manage then give it your best shot. Thing is if you've got no fert issues yourself they'll start by just doing inseminations which are about 2 grand a pop rather than ivf so you could try those first if you end up with a donor situation. That didn't work for us hence the ivf. When do you find out the results of the test? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 01 February 2014 at 5:37pm Oh wow that is a lot better than $15k! The GP wants us back two working days after his ultrasound and that will hopefully happen next week. I'm doing my blood test over the next week and a bit so it will be good to know that too although I will be super surprised if they are abnormal because I have ridiculously regular cycles but I guess you can never really know. Yeah I think going privately sounds expensive but it will still be relatively okay to manage without making life too difficult and if we didn't at least give it a go there would be a lot of regrets one day. Have the fertility doctors you have seen been good? How are you feeling about March coming up? Do you need to do anything to prepare your body for putting the embryo back? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 01 February 2014 at 7:47pm The doctors I've seen have been super good although mostly you deal with the nurses during treatments. With the insems the nurses do it but ivf the doctor does it. Excited about March coming up. I have a review appt coming up on feb 13th which will determine how they go about putting the embryo back but for now I'm taking elevit .... When I remember lol! ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 02 February 2014 at 9:33pm Hi- hearing the words is hard huh!! We found out 2012 that my hubby had no sperm but after meeting with fertility specialists and a biopsy they found some (that are frozen and waiting) it is a blockage we are now on your first round of publicly funded ivf with icsi, 4 injections in 😊 I have no idea how our journey will end but I'm full of positivity- all the best with yours x Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 03 February 2014 at 5:52am Good luck jacq! How are you finding the injections so far? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 03 February 2014 at 7:52am Thanks babycrazy, actually they aren't to bad I was excepting them to be worse but I think I'd worked myself up so much I thought it was going to be hell. Not knowing what exactly to expect is hard though so one day at a time! 😊 Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 03 February 2014 at 8:42am Hi Jacq, All the best! Exciting being so close! How often do you need to inject yourself? I can imagine the not knowing is the worst, I feel the same. I just want to know where we stand! I hate uncertainty! The 13th isn't too far away now baby crazy! I have gotten really slack with taking frolic acid and multi vitamin too. The first few months I never missed a day but not so much now. I should really get back on track with it! Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 03 February 2014 at 9:09am At the moment just in the mornings but next Thursday I will half that dose and add another injection at night to. I'm that same I'm a natural organiser so not knowing outcomes and exact dates is so frustrating but I look at it like we are lucky to be given this opportunity to try and have a family so I try and suck it up and get on with it. Am really focusing on being healthy and active so that's a distraction. It can be so consuming though and I'm dying for a coffee haha. But once hubby had the blood test after finding out he had azoospermia everyone seemed quite positive that there would be sperm. It was put down to either a childhood illness or a sexually transmitted disease that went unnoticed. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 03 February 2014 at 9:06pm I found the injections fine too jacq, although the morning one was a bit sorer. I had one in the morning and another at night. Going with the flow super sucks if you're a planner ( like me) and being at the mercy of your body is hard too. But keep the final goal in mind and be kind to yourself :) ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 03 February 2014 at 9:21pm Did your cycle go to plan regarding the dates they gave you? I'm glad you didn't find the night time one to bad the little pen thing is taunting me from the fridge making me think it's gunna hurt 😉 Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 04 February 2014 at 5:40am The pen is sweet as - had a smaller needle than my morning one. I do recommend making sure that when you put the needle in that you have the number dial on the pen facing up where you can see it as the first couple times I didn't and still had dosage left which meant a new needle and sticking myself again lol. Mine went almost text book in terms of dates and had ec on the first day of the week they predicted. I over stimulated though so there was no transfer. What are the names of the drugs you're on? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 04 February 2014 at 8:21am Oh good tip I never thought of that! At the mo I'm just taking the pill which I have been for over 2 weeks and lucrin then next Thursday I start on gonal f. They have mentioned because of my age that I'm going a longer protocol to stop the chance of over stimulation so fingers crossed it doesn't happen. When's your transfer set for? Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 04 February 2014 at 7:28pm Is over stimulation when you make too many eggs? Is that bad? Is it bad when they take them out? Jeepers, no coffee eek! I'm only on 1-2 cups a day now but i don't think I can cut it back any further! Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 04 February 2014 at 7:42pm I had Gonal it was sweet as. When you over stim you make heaps of follicles then what happens is they remove the eggs from these using a needle (I got 26 eggs! ) and after they do this the follies fill up with fluid, by having so many follies you're at risk of that fluid going places going it shouldn't which is called OHSS. It's made worse by pregnancy so if you're at risk of it they won't replace the embryo ( they decide at egg collection ). I dodged it by drinking loads of fluid and taking it very easy. To put it in perspective I got 26 eggs only 8 fertilised and then only two were good enough for freezing! But my theory is they must be good strong ones. Hopefully they'll put my embie back in my next cycle which should start in a couple weeks. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 04 February 2014 at 8:44pm I know the no caffeine thing is driving me crazy but to have a baby or have a coffee? I know which one I would pick 😉 all for the greater good but I went from 4 to 1-2 a day then the day I started taking the pill it was 0 I have had a few decaf coffees when I'm out with the girls though just so I don't have to explain as only our parents know this is happening. oh wow that is very exciting and two good enough to freeze is awesome! Who is your doctor? I'm at the wellington offices with dr Andrew Murray, he's been great and is so positive due to hubby's sperm being good quality once they got to it and my age n fitness so I'm really hoping for this to work but I know I can't be over confident as I could be leading to great disappointment. It's all so nerve racking. Is there anything you'd do differently? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 04 February 2014 at 8:51pm I have mark stegman. He's been pretty good. Love the nurses, they're awesome! Nothing I'd do differently except maybe not spend hours on the net reading about whether you should exercise while injecting or whatever the latest thing was to pop in my head lol. I stopped exercising but should've just kept at it to a certain point. I cut out alcohol from about 5 days before my cycle started. I don't drink heaps but with Xmas thrown in there I had a few wines while I could. Keep the injections cold while out and about was my big worry but managed ok. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 04 February 2014 at 9:47pm Oh I had a client who had him. I haven't Had a drink since November I've had Xmas, new year and my brothers engagement party all sober is actually harder than I thought but I just wanted to do everything in my power to benefit my chances? Maybe I'm taking it to far? I'm still gyming 5 times a week.Yeah I follow the odd blog but hubby has great internet restrictions on me at the mo which is prob the best thing for me. But bring on the 24th and ec then fingers crossed transfer Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 07 February 2014 at 7:27pm How are you doing Jacq? Just got results from second sperm sample and no sperm in that one either. Kind of what I expected but still sh*t nonetheless. Looking forward to going back to gp to figure out the next step. I read JayJay Feeneys book misconceptions and it was really good. It was great to read someone's perspective of going through Ivf. Fingers crossed we won't need it but good to read it anyway. I decided to let go of the stress about paying for a private Ivf cycle before we are even there! We just booked at trip to the Gold Coast which we have been talking about for a year but never did because I assumed I'd be pregnant. How are you baby crazy? You must be back to school now? Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 07 February 2014 at 9:59pm I'm going good batmoblie, to be honest if I didn't have a little alarm on my phone telling me it's time for another injection I'm just going on with day to day life as usual minus the wine and coffee. I'm due a blood test on Tuesday though that's making me a lil nervous just to know if everything's on schedule. Has he had a blood test yet? It's so hard early on not knowing what your path will be, make sure your making time for yourself xx. I really hope it works out for you love but a holiday will do you good time to relax and the sunshine is always amazin there. I read her book to it was nice to know of other options and how she found the experience. I have to admit though after I read it I kept overthinking and over googling thinking that it was all going to fail for me but it's amazing how your mind runs on over drive. I think I spend 85% off the time worrying about things that are never going to happen. Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 07 February 2014 at 10:27pm Oh that's so fabulous it's not too bad symptom wise for you! Exciting/scary for blood test! I'll have my fingers crossed everything is on track for you! He has had a blood test but I'm pretty sure it was only for the mumps antibodies. The gp was pretty much like 'if it's not mumps that we can treat with steroids your only option is donor sperm' which I know is not true! The fertility associates nurse is ringing on Thurs so I'm going to have a chat with her and just make sure our gp is doing all the right tests and things before we see them. What blood tests did your man have? Did you have to have any tests other than bloods? I've had day 21 and will do day 3 and HIV/hep/rubella/syphilis next week. The gp said something about swabs too which doesn't sound fun. I am so the same! I worry about ridiculous things and then the things I never think about are the things that actually come up! Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 07 February 2014 at 11:23pm He had the 2 sperm samples then a blood test to test different levels I can't recall what though sorry but they said there was every chance that he was making sperm it was just not coming out after that we waited for him to have a biopsy where they found it really quickly and it was good quality we have enough for three cycles frozen. I just has day 21 n 3 and swaps which all came back fantastic so hoping with that, my age, fitness and positivity that this is going to work!! Oh and the bloods to check your eggs to. The swaps are fine it's just like a smear test no biggy! The only situation that has caught me off guard was when my Dr told me he wanted to do a ultrasound and out came the wand, was not expecting that! But at one point we has a specialist we had to see at our local hospital tell us donor sperm was our only option (which wasn't true) the nurses at fertility associates are great though so informed and helpful. They really put you at ease. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 08 February 2014 at 5:26am The bloods are probably the best indicator with ours they showed he wasn't likely to be making any so decision was made to not do the biopsy. Like jacq said swabs are just like a smear. I lol'd at the scan thing! When I went in for egg collection they scanned me before and get this...the doctor made me insert it myself! I hadn't been asked to do that before so was like "huh?"....was weird haha. After years of waxing, annual smears after having CIN3 and fertility treatment you just get used to your bits on show so doesn't phase me too much. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 08 February 2014 at 9:32am Baby crazy do you know what they tested for in his bloods? Did either of you guys go privately for the first appointment? How long is the wait for everything? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 08 February 2014 at 9:51am Fsh hormone and testosterone I think. We went private for the first couple and I think it was only a couple weeks - just because that was when the next free appt was. Glad we went private to start with and it's just lucky we could afford it. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 08 February 2014 at 9:15pm We went publicly the whole way and I really regret it to have push it along a bit would have been great, we could have afforded it but it just never crossed my mind. But we have waited about 14 months from first appt with fertility associates and that's not including the 8 month wait finding out what was wrong, waiting to get in to our local hospital for the referral til now where it prob would have taken 5 months off that time when I think about the waiting time then hubby's biopsy. If you can afford it I'd definitely do it! Babycrazy- silly question but after the 2ww how far along are you? My mum asked me today and I realised I hadn't thought about it! Which is odd for me cause I'm thinking about it all constantly. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 09 February 2014 at 12:47am As in how pregnant would you be after the tww? 4wks technically as it's counted from your last period. Is that what you mean? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 09 February 2014 at 11:40am Yeah that's what I said to her but then she made me feel like I wasn't making sense. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend xx Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 11 February 2014 at 8:59pm AF came today for the first time since knowing. It's actually taken the pressure off quite a lot now we know, I'm not disappointed or sad because I never expecting to be pregnant this month. So at least there is one positive in this! Seeing GP tomorrow to make a plan! How are you guys going? Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 11 February 2014 at 9:02pm I'm glad you felt ok with it this time, knowing is easier even if it's not how you planned your life to be. Good luck with the GP tomorrow hopefully you get a few more answers 😊 xx Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 12 February 2014 at 8:21pm Hey guys, GP didn't go awesomely. The ultrasound showed one of DHs testicles isn't there hitch is strange because we can feel it. Anyway it is quite a risk of growing tumours if it is trapped in his abdomen so he has to see a specialist and have cancer blood tests and prob an MRI. Pretty scary, it turned serious quite quickly. He also has blood tests for testosterone FSH and some other stuff. It also showed his other one has some damage and he tested positive that he has had a mumps infection in the past which may or may not be the cause of that. The dr is convinced his hormones will be okay because he has a beard atm (lol!) but I'm not so sure. Anyway all sh*t really. My bloods came back fine which is one good thing at least. Fertility associates nurse is ringing tomorrow so it will be good to discuss it with her. The GP was more concerned about this lost testicle than the fertility side of things so we will see how long the wait is to see the specialist and if it's going to be ages we will prob go private for that too. I have health insurance but we haven't gotten around to getting him added to it and I'm kicking myself for that now! Good luck for tomorrow baby crazy! So exciting! When you had the insemination with the donor sperm did you have to take any medications or anything or do they just poke it in the right place at the right time? Hope your cycle is going well Jacq, where are you up to? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 12 February 2014 at 9:08pm Ugh bat that's not great at all!!! Hugs chick. If it is dodgy it's good they're on to it now. I know what you mean about AF being easier to take once you know. Takes the pressure out of everything including the 'lovin'. I didn't have to take meds for iui just had bloods from day 10 until I started surging. Then they just put it up there and hope for the best. Thanks for the good wishes. Just a std review appt. not sure what to expect. Going alone as dh has to work and we're both heading to a funeral in the afternoon so he already has to take the afternoon off as it is. Jacq hope things are going well for you :) ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 13 February 2014 at 8:20pm Thanks baby crazy :) Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 18 February 2014 at 10:36pm Oh batmoblie I am so sorry to read what you are going through omg sh*t got read huh? I hope you have found out more and things are movin in the right direction. Good luck hun xxo Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 03 April 2014 at 6:13pm Hey girls how are you two getting on? We have just found out we have no chance of using DHs sperm, they won't even offer a biopsy anymore as there will not be anything there. So our only chance of having a baby is now by sperm donor. I feel so upset, I have basically just cried since we found out. We aren't even sure if donor sperm is a road we want to go down but the shock is still very fresh. So anyway just wanted to update you guys. I hope both your cycles are going well Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 03 April 2014 at 6:55pm Oh hugs bat!!!! I have so been where you have hun and it is a very hard pill to swallow. You definitely need to take time to grieve about it before thinking about your next steps. If you have any questions about it all please ask away - I'm always happy to share as found it very helpful finding the rare people who have been through the same thing. Some counselling through fertility associates (or your specialist) might help you get your head around things. AFM - just approaching first FET next week. Freaking the heck out! ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 03 April 2014 at 7:09pm Thanks so much baby crazy, it is so nice knowing we aren't alone. Even though I knew it was a possibility I never actually thought donor sperm would end up our only option! We were seeing genea here in chch which is private only and they don't do donor sperm soviet just left a message for my gp to refer us to FA. I figure by the time the wait for an appointment is up we might have our heads around it enough to make some plans. It has also come up that DH has some health issues we didn't know about so he is needing to see another specialist for that too. I am quite keen to do some counselling, did your fertility place recommend someone? I thought your transfer must be coming up!! What will it involve? Do they just pop it in and send you on your way? Or do you need to take medication and things? So exciting!! Do let us know how you get on! Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 03 April 2014 at 7:54pm Fertility associates has really good people as part of their clinic. They are amazing. You have to have 2 sessions as part of the donor process. We paid private for our initial appts with FA then got public funding for treatment. Honestly I never thought we'd be using a donor. I try not to over think the situation too much. What helped me put it into perspective was when the counsellor talked about blended families and I thought about the amount of kids I teach who have a father who is not biological through relationship changes etc then I heard Nathan makaere wallis talk about the brain and how babies are only born with 30% of their genetics pre-programmed (or something like that). Just my perspective anyway. As for my transfer. No meds as I do a natural cycle where they track ovulation with bloods and a scan (I have my scan and blood tomorrow) then 5 days later transfer the goods and off I go to freak out for a week or so lol! ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 05 April 2014 at 11:29pm Oh bat, sending lots of love to you hun. I'm sure it's very hard to get your head around. I haven't been in the exact situation but if you need to chat I'm here xx My cycle ended in a BPN. I got 14 eggs 11 fertilised 7 matured I ended up with nothing to freeze and a negative pregnancy test. Have to say I was devestated but onwards and upwards just have to try be positive. My fiancés 19 year old brother has announced he's having a baby, then my GF and just to top it off his best friend is announced twins are on the way. We found out all in 10 days don't think I've ever felt so excited for someone (except his brother we were very disappointed) yet so sorry for myself at the same time. Let's jus say there were lots of tears. Good luck baby crazy I hope everything works out for you sweets!! Always such a positive thing wen someone gets there dream xo Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 5:51am Oh jacq that sucks big time! It's so frustrating to get so many eggs but then nothing left at the end. And all those announcements aren't easy to handle either. Hugs hun. What's the next step for you? Or is it too soon to think about that? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 9:42am Next step is to marry this gorgeous man of mine!! We will go back on the public waiting list for our next go an see where it takes us. I'm going to inquire about the three times for 20g as well. We don't have our follow up appointment til the end of this month so I guess I need to wait til we have had that till I start all this planning haha. But the wedding is booked it's something positive to focus on and has put a smile back on my face! Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 1:02pm Exciting! That would put a smile on my face too. When is the wedding booked for? At least it's a nice distraction for the moment. Had more bloods today and now have bloods tomorrow and another scan. Hard when I live 2hrs from scanning place - trying to decide if I ask for a full day off work or just the morning. I'm a teacher so it's a bit trickier taking time off. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 2:35pm November! and the way this year is flying it will be here before we know it. I actually went and to choose my wedding dress today with Mum and my big sister so that was so exciting. To be honest I actually needed the distraction we had planned our whole year around being pregnant and there were no holidays or anything to look forward to so now I've got something to focus on because after IVF I am very good at obsessing! 2 hours??? oh wow that must make things a lil bit harder. Is work ok with you having to take the time off? If so take the day the more relaxed you are for FET the better. I did my cycle without anyone knowing at work including my boss I managed ok all bloods and scans were before work and only a 15min drive. But then I took a whole week off for retrieval just because it was to hard to juggle around clients. Oh I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 2:45pm It is really hard work this time round I think because I'm in a new job and my dh is away working so it's just me. Work is amazing. Since I can't book the scan till basically I get to the city to do my bloods I'll probably end up taking the day. Thankfully there are no more scans and it's looking likely my transfer will be next weekend so this should be the last day off work. November will totally arrive fast! Yay for picking a dress too. Which FA are you with? (Sorry can't remember) will the wait be long to try again? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 2:53pm Will he be back for transfer? That must be a struggle. Fantastic work is supportive though I'm sure that takes a lot if stress out of it. And next weekend!! Eeeek how exciting I found it crazy after all the injections, bloods, scans and egg retrieval that boom transfer done in 2 minutes flat I actually said "what so that's it" haha. I'm with wellington so I assume a year? It was a 9 month wait last time but I've seen some of the girls on here been told it's 12 months. I wish I didn't have to wait at all. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 3:01pm Oh that's right thought it was welly like me. I get the feeling it's not as long down there as in other places. I got told 8mths when we found out but then it wasn't even that because we'd already had iui so it just carried on from that no waiting needed. Waiting does suck though. I was thinking that while I waited for bloods - always waiting lol. And I felt bad for the girls sitting there going through the same stuff yet no one spoke a word to each other despite all being there for the same thing. No dh won't be back for at least 6 more weeks. He's working away down sth then possibly on to Aussie. Has had a couple bad seasons work wise (he's an ag contractor) so is trying to get ahead. It's hard but he's so dedicated to getting the mortgage paid off and has worked hard over to get it within 2 yrs of being paid I just have to put my big girl pants on and deal with it. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 6:23pm Oh Jacq I'm so sorry to hear that This is such a difficult road to be on. I understand the excitement/sad feeling. My sister told me they are trying for another baby and while I was so excited to hear it I cried all the way home. The thought of deciding to try and stopping contraception and that being enough already seems so far away from the journey we are now on. Realistically it is now going to be two years before we have a baby, providing everything lines up along the way so like you Jacq we had our lives on hold. We are now talking about a cool holiday next year, maybe Europe and I'm getting a new car since that's another two+ years of two incomes. So exciting Jacq! Choosing the dress is so much fun! November will be a lovely time to get married. Good luck this week baby crazy! I'm so lucky we live in a big city and don't need to worry about driving so far. I'll have everything crossed for you xx Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 06 April 2014 at 7:50pm Ugh I so know what you mean about life being on hold. I lived a little last year with a holiday and new car. Good on you bat it is a little liberating doing stuff like that. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 3:28pm Oh this experience had defiantly taught me patience! I feel like you just wait for everything. I was cleanin out draws yesterday and was sorting through my FA folder and realised our first appointment was June 2012???! that was after 20months of trying. It was so long because of all the tests for him but woah that seems crazy. But hopefully they will be quick smart about getting us on that waiting list and in the grand scheme of things 8 months wouldn't be so bad with the wedding inbetween I just hope we all get out pot of gold at the end of this very bumpy road. Bat- oh a holiday will be well deserved! Have you thought of where to go yet? We are going to go to samoa after the wedding for 10days CANT WAIT!! Why would it be two years? Distractions along the way are fab though. I'm huge into looking for the positives theses days 😉 Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 3:30pm Isn't it werid about no one talking to each other though? When we were in reception waiting for egg retrieval I heard a women whisper to her husband- oh why would they be here they don't look old enough to have a baby. I actually felt like exploding. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 4:46pm Oh my jacq that's bizarre! I do look at people and wonder what their fertility issue is or how long they've been trying. Once I get pregnant ( positive thinking) I'm coming out on Facebook about how hard it's been. We're pretty open but I always find it hard to initially open up to people even though I know they're supportive once they know. Transfer is locked in for Saturday so glad all the testing is done! ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 8:09pm Oh some people can say such stupid things Jacq. I am actually worried what stupid things people will say to our baby (which will happen!) about needing a sperm donor. I think it will be two ish years because we are now going to wait for a public appointment which will probably be months, then the wait for a sperm donor which is also months and then 9 months before the baby arrives. We are going to Samoa in a few weeks which I am so excited about and then we are going to the Gold Coast later in the year so very lucky. Wanting to do Europe next year but not sure about it yet. My great plan was to do it when the kids are older but now my oldest will probably be ten at least by the time this baby comes so it will be a long time before we manage Europe if we wait for them to leave home. If not Europe then maybe the states with the kids. I should be using the money to pay off our mortgage but meh, you have to live as well. Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 8:09pm And I was saving for maternity leave and IVF, won't need that any time soon Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 8:18pm Good on you bat!!! The donor wait is about 6mths so not long really in the grand scheme of things. It's so awesome you've got so much planned. And to anyone who says stupid stuff about babies conceived via donor just need to take a look around them and they'll see plenty of 'donor' created children - there are so many families where one of the couple is raising children that genetically aren't linked to them. Lol can you tell I'm passionate? My worry is more telling my child they're donor created. I think it'll just have to be a story we tell from day dot. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 8:30pm Yeah you are so right, people would never say anything to step families. I'm also a bit scared on telling a child the sperm donor bit, there is so much to think about but I'm sure like most things the kids will take it sweet as it will be the adults who are weird about it. I think we will prob only tell a select few but it's still early days so who knows. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 07 April 2014 at 8:44pm Only a few people know the real story behind our infertility. Dh is pretty open though although not sure if people believe him as he's pretty comical about it. There are some pretty good books that tell the story well. The counsellor have us heaps of stuff to read when we saw her. I'm thinking about making our own story and adding to it as the child grows. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 08 April 2014 at 7:21pm That is such a lovely idea! Saturday is getting sooner, so exciting! Do you have any more tests to do or it's just show up on Sat? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 08 April 2014 at 7:30pm No more tests that goodness. Looked at my arms yesterday and I looked like some junkie lol. Just rock up on Saturday. Getting a lil excited now. My dh has locked in when he's coming home so that's a weight off and seems ok with the transfer. I always worry he's going to change his mind about it when it comes to crunch time. It's such a big thing to deal with let alone having the donor element. I admire him so much for agreeing to do this if that makes sense. Sorry hope that doesn't put you off!! Have you talked much about what path you're going to take? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 10 April 2014 at 7:51pm No it totally makes sense, I do think it is different for guys and especially when they are the one who has something 'wrong'. It does make me a wee bit nervous though, about if it will affect their bonding, or as soon as conception happens it is all forgotten. No we haven't really talked about anything more specific. I think I would regret not trying for another baby but on the other hand I can also imagine a life with no more babies. We will definitely keep moving though and talk to the specialists at FA. Two more days for you eek! How much longer until your man is home? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 10 April 2014 at 8:32pm He's not back until 6 more weeks but originally he was considering going on to auz (he is in Blenheim at present) for work so wasn't going to be home until July (left mid march). So suffice to say I'm stoked. I think for mine bonding will truly happen when the child arrives rather than at conception. Purely because blokes need to see and feel etc. although with mine I reckon it'll be when the kid is a bit older lol he's not really a baby person haha. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 19 April 2014 at 7:08pm You have been in my thoughts babycrazy I hope that lil embie is sticking nicely xxx Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 19 April 2014 at 9:17pm Thanks jacq only a couple days left before I get to know although I think AF will come before anyway. Visiting with family and struggling to hold it together. My ever intuitive mum knows me too well so has just been in to check on me cue the tears lol. They know I've had transfer and are all so understanding however it's hard to explain but I just feel like they're all watching my every move. And with my 1 yr old nephew being around I just found it hard tonight. Unfortunately I have a sh*t poker face so it's pretty obvious I'm not myself. Gah gotta pull myself together can't spend the next two days like this. How are things with you? Bat how are you getting on? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 19 April 2014 at 11:08pm Oh hun I so know how you feel it is awful- when I was about three days off my blood test one of the girls at work (no one had any clue I'd had ivf) knocked my salad out of the fridge and I burst into tears like full on melt down but It was late night, I'd been holding it together for far to long and I broke. I blamed it on my period which came the next day now everytime it's that time off the month everyone takes the absolute piss out of me haha gotta see the funny side I guess!! My fingers and toes are all crossed for you it's not over til the fat lady sings. Have you been having any symptoms? I'm doing a wee bit better apart from being asked by my fiancés brother if we would be te godparents of their baby so sweet but wow just not the right time. Wedding plans are in full swing it actually makes my heart sing I am so so excited and follow up appt is on the 28th I so can't wait to get on that waiting list!! Xxxx Posted By: LulaR.143002 Date Posted: 20 April 2014 at 3:31am I just feel like they're all watching my every move. And with my 1 yr old nephew being around I just found it hard tonight. Unfortunately I have a sh*t poker face so it's pretty obvious I'm not myself. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 20 April 2014 at 7:17am Not sure if I've been having symptoms or not jacq. Have woken up everyday since transfer dying of thirst and with a slight headache. When I get hungry I feel a little ill or like I'm getting reflux. Have has cramps since transfer sometimes they're like period ones other times stretchy ones. Not any tireder not do I have sore boobs. Cos most of it started right after transfer I think it's all in my head and I'm just noticing stuff cos it's on my mind. I've got some wicked spots on my face too. Like I say though no idea if they're period related or not. I guess I feel so forlorn because after this we have one frostie and if that doesn't work I'm not sure what will happen next. I'm glad you're enjoying planning your wedding. What a great distraction. Being asked to be godparents would be so nice but hard at the same time. Not long till you're appt now. Hope it goes well. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 23 April 2014 at 7:00am Hi again girls. So had my bloods yesterday and everything is all up in the air. Hcg was 16 which they say is not classed as pregnant nor not pregnant if that makes sense. I have to have bloods again on Saturday to see if the number is rising. I'm not holding my breath for a good outcome but trying to keep it together for the time being. Just not fair! I even wish it was negative so I knew where I stood. What's the most gutting is I did a hpt the day before bloods and got a line at the 10min mark so to hear that it wasn't good yesterday was very hard. Anyway onwards and upwards couple days of feeling sorry for myself and I'll be ok. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 23 April 2014 at 9:47pm Oh love, I just got a little teary I am soooo sorry to hear the first bloods weren't nice and strong. Keep me updated and if you need to chat, vent I'm here and waiting. It's such a tough pill to swoll though, it's such a hard thing to go though and not to get the BFP at the end you deserve to feel sorry for yourself, I know I still do. But don't give up you hear of people getting a low and then being glowing and pregnant, your in my thoughts xx Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 23 April 2014 at 10:28pm Thanks jacq. Unfortunately started bleeding this evening so I will presume all is over. Feeling more settled today and feeling ok. Just want some answers and to get on with the next embie. Not thinking too far ahead at the moment. A good friend is visiting so that's a nice distraction. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 23 April 2014 at 10:49pm Naw sending you big hugs, nice having your friend there. I'm sure your hubby would want nothing more but to be home with you. That's the one positive thinking. Next embie here you come xx Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 24 April 2014 at 6:46am Out of everything I wish hubby was here right now. I have to give him full credit - he's blown me away with how supportive he's been. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Hannah143365 Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 9:24am Hi girls, hope you don't mind me reading your stories but this is the same situation that my partner and I found ourselves in last year so I can relate and it helps hearing others stories that have similar situations. We referred ourselves privately to FA in Auckland after 9 months of TTC and nothing happening, I felt there had to be something wrong as I was only 30 and in very good health. We found out within a few days that there was no sperm in my partners semen and then a few days later after he had a scan that he had a testicular tumour. This obviously presented health issues that had to take precedence and was a really difficult time as we were told that there was a 99% chance that it was cancer. After having the testicle removed a couple of weeks later it was found that it was actually a benign tumour so we were very lucky on that score. The other good news that came from this was that there was a small amount of sperm found in the testicle that we were able to have frozen (they said at the time enough for maybe three cycles of IVF with ICSI). We know that there is no blockage and the fact that there is no sperm in the semen is likely due to my partner having an undescended teste as a child and this not being operated on until he was about 7 (apparently they now operate on these prior to 1 year old and the earlier it's operated on the better chance of later fertility). We are currently undertaking our first cycle of privately funded IVF (we are on the public waiting list but the wait was 18 months (not till May 2015) and we decided that for our mental health we couldn't wait that long). So far things have gone really well and we're waiting for a FET in just over a week. The injections and egg collection all went much better than I expected, I took it pretty easy over this time and didn't have any side effects from the drugs and I had 17 eggs collected, with 13 good enough use, 9 fertilised and we now have 8 5-day blastocysts frozen. I went in for my transfer after collection but it turns out I had very enlarged ovaries and they didn't go through with the transfer due to the high risk of OHSS. They said I already had mild OHSS although I wasn't having any symptoms/pain. This was disappointing but we've gotten very used to waiting so another 3-4 weeks wasn't going to be the end of the world and we also couldn't be too unhappy with 8 blastocysts. Trying to stay positive but not get our hopes up too much that things will keep going well. I hope we can have a baby that is biologically my partners but donor sperm will be the next option if that doesn't work. It wouldn't make any difference to me at all, but it will definitely be something he will have to get his head around. Good luck to you girls and I hope you get some positive results and don't have to wait too long. I look forward to hearing how you're going. xx Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 9:55am Welcome Hannah. Thanks for sharing your story. I'll be doing my second fet in a couple weeks. Similar situation to you in terms of ohss risk at egg collection. We use donor sperm as my dh makes none himself. Has definitely been something to get our heads around. Wishing you all the best with your fet. Keep us posted with how it goes :) ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 10:19am Welcome Hannah, I was the same I found it helpful to read others stories and even though mine ended in tears I love the positivity of others as it gives me hope. We have a meeting with FA tomorrow to see where to from hear. I'm super nervous. Babycrazy you've scheduled your next FET? How you feeling about it? I'll be thinking of ya. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 10:50am Yep fet for this cycle. Figured I might as well get it done and out of the way and if it works great but if not then we haven't dragged it out. Feeling ok but ask me again when it starts lol. Hope your appt goes well. I've got a phone discussion with Mark tomorrow just to ask about progesterone support although from talking to the nurse I think something just went wrong with the embie which is apparently quite common. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Sunshine82 Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 9:23pm Good luck with your FET babycrazy, fingers crossed for you. Are you doing a manufactured cycle? I am but was wondering why they automatically did this for me (I didn't even realise), I think next time I'll ask whether I can do a natural cycle (although hopefully I won't have to). And hope your appointment goes well jacq with some good options for you. (previously posted as Hannah...) Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 9:39pm All natural for me sunshine. On paper everything is perfectly fine so they keep telling me lol. And I believe them as I ovulate and have reg cycles. When's your transfer? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Sunshine82 Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 9:45pm Blood test on Thurs then transfer the following Tues all going well. Hmmm think it must be because my periods were a bit irregular last year. Have been really good since I've known I'm not going to get pregnant for the last 6 months though. Amazing what the mind can do... Have you got dates yet? Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 9:55pm No dates yet but last transfer bloods were day 10 (so Saturday coming) then scan and bloods follow depending on what my levels are doing. Once they've detected ovulation 5 days later they transfer. So by my calculations in about 2 wks I'll be carrying another embie.....hopefully the lucky embie. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Sunshine82 Date Posted: 27 April 2014 at 10:08pm Sounds like it will be a couple of days after mine then. Definitely the lucky embie :) Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 28 April 2014 at 2:21pm Fingers crossed it is the lucky embie for you babycrazy! And two weeks doesn't seem like long at all just think in a month it may be tears of joy, fingers and toes crossed for you. Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 29 April 2014 at 7:37am Hugs baby crazy, I've just come back from holiday and was thinking about you. So sorry to hear how it ended but great you have another transfer lined up. Yay for wedding planning Jacq! It is so much fun planning, we recently celebrated our one year anniversary so I def remember the excitement well! Welcome Sunshine/Hannah, I have found it wonderful to chat to people in a similar situation. Sounds like it has been a scary ride for you and your man! They put the C word on the table for us too but luckily didn't find anything. Exciting for your upcoming transfer! And how awesome you got so many wee embies. Nothing new to report here, haven't heard from FA, I'm thinking I might just give them a call and have a private consult. There is so much I'm dying to know about donor sperm and I'm making myself a bit crazy thinking about it. DH needing a bit of follow up for a few medical issues we have found along the way so at. The very least it's great we found that out as we wouldn't have known otherwise. Hope you are all staying warm! Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 29 April 2014 at 9:10am Welcome back Bat. Definitely get the consult you'll just drive yourself mental otherwise. As predicted first bloods are Saturday. Ahhhh hope it works this time!! ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 29 April 2014 at 9:11am Exciting baby crazy! All the best! Posted By: Sunshine82 Date Posted: 29 April 2014 at 1:49pm Thanks Bat. Would totally recommend a private consult. It was just great getting started finally and being able to get questions answered even if you wait for public funding of the actual treatment. Also awesome that no C was found for your DH, it is so scary to go through. Good luck! Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 29 April 2014 at 2:56pm Just had a thought bat. If you end up going down the donor path the wait is shorter - just have to wait to get to top of donor list which for us was about 6mths from getting on list to starting treatment. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 29 April 2014 at 9:39pm Oh wow thanks for that baby crazy. I'm 99% sure we aren't eligible for public funding and I'm having a hard time getting my head around paying a few thousand each time just to get some unknown sperm put in my uterus. It screws with your mind so much! Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 29 April 2014 at 10:18pm I also paid for my first appt was keen to get the ball rolling and cause we paid we were in the next week. I haven't had to go down the donor path yet but I can imagine at first it would be hard to get your head around!! But bat welcome back!! Hope you had a much needed break. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 6:03am Why won't you get funding Bat? It does screw with your mind at first. And I'll be honest when we first went on the list we had to have some pretty hard conversations about it all and at one point dh (who I call DH but we're not married lol) admitted he had thought about breaking up with me because he wasn't sure he could do the donor thing and knew I really wanted a baby. Not the nicest moment in our long relationship. Thankfully he decided he couldn't live without me hehe. Best thing to do is have that appt and get all those questions you have answered. It might help you make a firm decision. Jacq - money certainly talks in the fertility world and got us to the point of getting treatment much faster. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 7:26am We have two children under 12 in the house so I think that prevents it but haven't had that confirmed by someone who actually knows. Aw baby crazy it reassures me so much knowing that you guys are going through this too and it's okay. I'll admit I've had some horrible thoughts and it has really made me reassess our relationship. I haven't admitted any of my thoughts to DH as it would break his heart. I think we will be fine whatever happens but it has been a hard thing to get my head around and it's not like there are so many people around who truly understand either. Posted By: babycrazy Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 9:55am Hmmm that may have an effect bat but you never know. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 12:31pm Bat- a client I have had two children at home but because there was a known cause an they hadn't had children together they got funding it might not be the same outcome for you but food for thought 😊 Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 8:15pm Ooo that is good to know thanks Jacq! It isn't very clear on the online things. Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 8:29pm I always find nothing is clear online. Even on FA's website I can never find clear answers. We have decided to pay for a cycle and it's so amazing how things are moving so quickly compared to a publicly funded cycle. So fingers crossed I will be a pregnant bride 😊 Posted By: Batmobile Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 9:41pm Oh how exciting for you Jacq!! Posted By: J_keri Date Posted: 30 April 2014 at 9:46pm So exciting- except after last time I'm going in with eyes wide open. But they are going another retrieval on my hubby to get new sperm they think where they took them from last time they could have been sitting there awhile and a bit past there use by date hence the embies not hatching. So this time they are going deeper for fresh lil swimmers. He's a bit gutted having to do it again but all for the greater good and I go through worse so meh 😉 but all set for a June period as I have to much on in May to want to worry about anything but fingers crossed second time lucky and goodbye savings.

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