Fostering long term/adoption as an option
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Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=44364
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Topic: Fostering long term/adoption as an option
Posted By: poppy101
Subject: Fostering long term/adoption as an option
Date Posted: 05 November 2014 at 10:04pm
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Hi there, Im just curious if anyone has looked into fostering long term through CYFS to offer a baby/child a secure home? Im due to start ivf in feb, but am constantly worrying about what if it doesn't work?? I had a wee look into 'home for life' through cyfs and am considering applying to foster. Has anyone looked into this option? |
Replies:
Posted By: Mrs Impatient
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 2:37pm
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Hi Poppy I know I always had that in the back of my mind but never actually enquired about it and luckily my IVF round worked. I have a lady from my ante-natal group that has been looking after an 8 year old girl for the past 12 mths every second weekend and each school holidays. They applied to CYFS at the beginning of this year to 'adopt' (they have done the home for life option) and found out this week that they have been accepted and are having her full time from next month YAY ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  TTC Mar 2011 4 IUI all BFN IVF Dec BFP |
Posted By: Lesley104550
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 3:46pm
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Hi Poppy, my partner and I are going to look at the fostering option but have to put it off till next year for various reasons. I have also looked at the cyfs website at the "home for life" option but there are a couple of other places you can foster through as well. I will keep my fingers crossed for your ivf in Feb. We had 2 failed ivf rounds which is why we want to foster now. Good luck! |
Posted By: poppy101
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 6:05pm
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Hi mrs impatient and Lesley, thanks for ur reply. Wow that is awesome about ur friend giving the little girl a stable home permanently, i think it would be very rewarding! I might wait and see how next year goes for me with ivf before looking into it seriously. Mrs impatient, did ur friend get the opportunity to say whether she wanted a baby, child or teen or is it really just whoever is needing a home? Lesley, what are the other places u can foster through? Id like to look into them further. Lesley, sorry to hear of ur failed cycles, will look into ivf againin the future? A friend of a friend registered to foster through cyfs and last week shes got a phone call to say they need a home for a 7mth old baby girl which made me want to foster. The baby will be placed with them next week permanently. , |
Posted By: Lesley104550
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 6:24pm
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Poppy, I google "become a foster parent" or something like that. Theres the open home foundation (ohf.org.nz) theres also barnados and salvation army. I am sure you will find plenty of info. I think I will just call cyfs to get started cos I think they are the only ones that offer home for life. great story about your friend |
Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 6:25pm
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Hi Poppy, my DH and I are in the waiting pool for adoption and may look in to home for life in the near future. There are similarities. In answer to your question about babies, yes I think you can state your preference. At the end of the day they always ask you before putting a child in to your care and lots of babies are put in to home for life, some from as early as new born. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: babycrazy
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 6:37pm
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Hey all, Have thought about this option too. Kazper - what process did you go through to get into the adoption pool. I'd love to hear from someone who's been through it first hand. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks |
Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 7:01pm
We made contact with an Adoption Agent and they in turn set up our first day course. Adoption Agent's work with CYFS and in their offices so if you call your nearest CYFS office they will be able to get in you in contact with the Adoption Agent in your region.  For Adoption you undertake two one day courses, and three for fostering or home for life. You then have an interview and medical and police check and then you put together a portfolio. It sounds like a lot, but really isn't. I use to think it sounded horrible and and have all the reasons as to why it would be too hard, but then once we were actually ready to do it, it was easy we are glad to be on the other side and in the waiting pool. We have only been in it since late January and have been out once for consideration. I feel positive it will happen one day ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow"> |
Posted By: babycrazy
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 7:15pm
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Thanks heaps. Do they do home visits or anything? I was expecting it to be more than that. Do many babies get put up for adoption each year? ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks |
Posted By: poppy101
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 7:15pm
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Thanks Lesley, i just googled away and it came up with heaps of options. wow, i think it would be amazing to get that phone call with a baby in urgent need of a home, and being able to give that would be so rewarding! Kazper and babycrazy, thanks for ur replies :) Kazper, how long did the process take from ringing cyfs to having your portfolio completed for birth parents to see? Do u get much info about how many babies are currently up for adoption? Thanks for sharing information |
Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 7:26pm
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Babycrazy, the interview after the courses were at our home. It was pretty relaxed and informal Poppy the process varies. We live in a small town and our Adoption Agent had to travel from another area and it was right at the middle of winter where roads were closed here almost every weekend we had tried organising a course. So for us it was probably 9 or 10 months all up, but the process would have been a lot faster and we were quite relaxed with organising the interview and took our time with the portfolio. We decided to put that part off until after Christmas and New Year so that we would have more fun and recent pics to use. We don't get information like how many are currently up for adoption. The reality is that the numbers have dropped significantly in the last couple of years, but our Agent has said its one of those things where some years there is a lot and others not so much. Just one of those things like this whole TTC journey where there are no answers. You kind of sit in limbo waiting and hoping. However at least with this we have done everything we can and really just have to sit back and stay hopeful and get on with life without trying to think about it too much I have heard that there are a lot of babies and children that go up for home for life though and that would happen much faster than adoption so it might be something you might like to look at ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow"> |
Posted By: Mushroom
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 7:26pm
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From what I've read on adoption in Auckland I believe there are around 9 kids adopted out each year. Foster-for-life is a much more definite way of adopting a child, though these kids often come from absolutely heart-breaking backgrounds. I know someone who fosters, and have met a number of the kids through her doors. She was offered to adopt the ones she had been looking after, but didn't as she's older now and it was a group of 3 including a 6 mth old. From what I understand, family groups are more common, as parents often have their kids put into the foster system several times before they are permanently removed. ------------- Me: 35, PCOS, endo, DH: 34, severe MFI 6+ yrs TTC#2 M/C 2012, clomid 2013, IVM 2014, IVF 2015, M/C 2015 2016 FET#1- BFP - MMC - Emergency D&C FET#2 - BFN Jul 16 - stage 3 endo removed. Oct 16 BFP |
Posted By: poppy101
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 7:41pm
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Thanks mushroom and Kazper, this is definitely something i want to look into, especially the home for life option. icant imagine some of the stories and background of these kiddies would be very sad! |
Posted By: Charlie6
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 8:12pm
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We have also started looking into this, and is something we would like to do eventually even if we are lucky enough to have a baby of our own... I spoke to cyfs a couple of months ago, and the lady said that in the past year 11 children had been adopted in NZ, not as common as it once was, and quite rare to get a newborn/baby as generally someone within the wider family will take care of them... It's funny (not in the haha sense) as people who have no clue about going through IVF and all the heartbreak infertility brings often say "oh well you can just adopt' like its so easy to go and choose a child for your family... Would love to hear how the process goes for you... good luck xx |
Posted By: poppy101
Date Posted: 06 November 2014 at 9:18pm
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Hi charlie, it is definitely something we will look at doing even if ivf works for us and we have a child of our own. Totally get what ur saying about, oh well just adopt... if only it was that easy huh! Im thinking I might give cyfs a call within the next few weeks to find out a bit more |
Posted By: rosiefarmer
Date Posted: 17 February 2015 at 7:16pm
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Hey ladies, I havent been in the forum for ages, I have 2 home for life children, one we got when he was 3 months old, and the other he was 10 months old. They are now 3 and almost 2, best thing we ever did after 2 failed rounds of IVF. ------------- IVF - ICIS 1 - June 2010 BFN TER - Oct 2010 BFN IVF - ICIS 2 - April 2011 BFP
31st May no heartbeat D & C  ,
[url=http://lilypie.com]  [
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Posted By: Lesley104550
Date Posted: 18 February 2015 at 6:41pm
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Thx Rosie, can you tell me about the process? We had 2 failed ivfs last year and are now seriously considering the home for life option. |
Posted By: rosiefarmer
Date Posted: 18 February 2015 at 7:25pm
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We did the two day course run by cyfs did police checks health check had 2 interviews at home. Did two profiles one for each pool adoption an HFL. Profiles got accepted 11 days later we got phone call to say they had a baby boy for HFL we rushed into town for a meeting it was Friday we picked baby up from airport on Sunday. The next baby we were in pool again for 6 months birthmother chose us second time an we have a good relationship. ------------- IVF - ICIS 1 - June 2010 BFN TER - Oct 2010 BFN IVF - ICIS 2 - April 2011 BFP
31st May no heartbeat D & C ,
[url=http://lilypie.com] [
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Posted By: Lesley104550
Date Posted: 18 February 2015 at 8:41pm
| Wow! Do you remember how long it took? |
Posted By: Bec174326
Date Posted: 19 February 2015 at 7:13pm
| I'm pleased to have found this thread as we have our first meeting with a social worker next week. We're looking at providing weekend/holiday respite care. We've been TTC for a year and I'd just love to have kids in our life some way. This is something we'd be keen to continue even if we are lucky with fertility treatment. |
Posted By: _Soda_
Date Posted: 06 June 2015 at 9:14pm
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just bumping this thread- we are starting to seriously look at all our options- anything from home for life, to adoption from thailand or the phillipines... just in the asking questions phase. Awesome to hear you have had some great success rosiefarmer with home for life!! would love to keep this thread going if others are interested to read along with other's journeys. ------------- My little miracle 6/1/2011 My angel in Heaven 9/5/14 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: CoopersMummy
Date Posted: 06 June 2015 at 9:24pm
| I'm interested, I would love to hear about adopting from overseas, it seems that you have more chance then here in NZ. I feel we need something more permanent than foster or home for life as we have other children and it would break my heart and theirs if their brother or sister went back. I have heard that home for life isn't always home for life either and it can be tricky but that's only what I've heard really. So interested in knowing more |
Posted By: _Soda_
Date Posted: 14 June 2015 at 10:16pm
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So Hubby and I have decided to give HFL a go in the new year if we are unsuccessful by then- id go for it right now if i could but next year hubby will have stopped his shiftwork etc and be on permanent days and our new house will be built by then so will be much more settled and able to give a more stable, predictable home for a little one. its exciting to know next year something is definitely going to happen- unlike TTC when after over 2.5 years you just never know... Coopersmummy i think there are risks in whatever you do, but on the whole from what I have heard HFL is great for most people involved. we have decided its worth the chance anyway sooo glad there are these options in NZ and my little girl might just get a sibling after all- however that is meant to come to us! would love to hear from others and find out how long the initial phase took from initial phone call to being in the HFL/adoption pool.. ------------- My little miracle 6/1/2011 My angel in Heaven 9/5/14 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 14 June 2015 at 10:20pm
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So exciting Soda! we might look at HFL next year. We are currently in the adoption waiting pool. Process takes a wee while, but might be different in the cities. The longest part for us was putting our profile together because we wanted it to be perfect ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow"> |
Posted By: sumitasofat
Date Posted: 22 December 2015 at 9:25pm
| For Adoption you undertake two one day courses, and three for fostering or home for life. |
Posted By: poppy101
Date Posted: 27 December 2015 at 4:03pm
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Hi ladies, we are also looking at doing home for life in the new year. We received the info and application pack in the mail just before xmas and have to attend a info night in January, then it says training starts in February. Once training is complete we will be on the waiting list. After we received this we also received a letter from fertility associates saying we have another funded cycle commencing in March 16. We will definitely do ivf and even if we are lucky to conceive we are still considering home for life. I've only heard good things about it too. I know 2 people who've been through it now, one waited 2 yrs and another waited a few days before they got a call. Hoping 2016 brings a lot of blessings for us all x |
Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 28 December 2015 at 7:41am
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Sounds like a very exciting year ahead Poppy :) all the best with everything. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow"> |
Posted By: poppy101
Date Posted: 28 December 2015 at 9:33am
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Thanks Kazper, are u still looking into hfl? Wish u all the best for 2016 too |
Posted By: pagerlvy33237502
Date Posted: 19 April 2019 at 5:23am
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It is very kind of you. You know. We are not considering adoption as an option any more. We have been. But now, as we are older and are not that financially secure, we are not eligible for it anymore. Although it would've been a perfect match for us. But we are no longer upset about it. We are in the middle of the surrogacy program now. Our SM is pregnant. Can't express what I feel right now. And yeah, why do you think about adoption? Have you considered surrogacy? I am 100 per cent for adoption. I think that giving a parentless child a home is the best thing one can do. But you can also help bless the word with another kind soul. I am really happy we made this decision. it was a tough one. you can imagine I suppose. But as soon as we have signed with World Center of Baby, things changed. The program took off and we have made all this progress in a span of 3 months. Now about that! The only issue that we can think of is that we have to travel to Ukraine. And that it will be a pain in the a** once the baby is born. But we were promised that our manager will take care of as much legal stuff as she can before we leave. Obviously, we will be the ones going to the embassy and stuff. But how is that an issue when you pay so little and get so much. We did not expect this to be a success. having been through 5 m/c, I was not really optimistic about anything. And was legitimately scared of flying to a country I know so little about. but things are cool now. :) |