Funerals
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=709
Printed Date: 23 November 2024 at 1:59pm
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Topic: Funerals
Posted By: mum2paris
Subject: Funerals
Date Posted: 03 May 2005 at 1:23pm
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Hey there, Mike's great grandmother (Paris's great great grandmother) died last night.. We are planning on going to the funeral, and taking Paris with us, it will be a full day since it's in Napier.. so at least 3 hrs drive to and from. I am worried Paris will be a tired cranky mess before we even get to the funeral.
Does anyone have any tips to make it, i dunno, "successful" i spose - ie.. no screaming, tantrum packing, etc in the middle of the service? i don't think that would be a problem, since she hates strangers so would probably stay tucked up on my knee, but you never know. I already plan to take a little container with snack in it (keep her quiet for 10 minutes) and possibly a couple of books for her. She is usually ok and behaves but i want to be prepared.. especially since we don't know half the family, and would hate her to be a monkey. I'm sure at least some of you would have had to take littlies to a funeral.. what did you do and how did they cope? ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Replies:
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 03 May 2005 at 1:35pm
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Firstly, my sympathies to you and Mike.
I haven't taken Kiya to a funeral - but I do take her to church, and took her to a lecture at Waikato Uni when she was about Paris's age, and some of the same things apply... a snack and books are a good idea, as are a favourite teddy or similar for her to cuddle on your knee. Try to let her know beforehand that you are not going to read the books to her but that she is expected to look at them by herself (easier said than done, I know!). Maybe one or two small toys she can play with quietly? Or some paper and crayons to keep her busy on the floor at your feet? As far as travelling to Napier goes... maybe leave quite early in the morning so she sleeps at least part of the way... that way you can have breakfast on the way or when you get to Napier so she's not as cranky from being in a car for 3 hours - especially if she's only been awake for 1 hour or so of the trip. If the funeral is in the afternoon, travel over in the morning and go to the park or something so she has a chance to burn off any excess energy from being cooped up in the car before she gets cooped up for the service. Just my thoughts. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 03 May 2005 at 1:47pm
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kewl thanks for that. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 03 May 2005 at 3:10pm
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We've never had to take Maya to a funeral either (touch wood!!!!) but she does go to church quite often with my Mum and Dad when we are in Australia, and she loves it. I guess it's coz she's used to it. The only problem we have is that she does like to stand on the altar with the priest...
It sounds like you've got some pretty sensible ideas for Paris, I can only add that most people will understand that she is a toddler, so don't stress too much if she does wander around etc. It's what kids do and it can't be helped sometimes. Also, take it easy yourself! I travelled from Auck to New PLymouth when I was 34 weeks preg with Maya to go to my grandfathers funeral, and I fainted in the car on the way there (granted it was summer and the car was really hot!). Make sure you get plenty of rest and that Mike does all the running round after Paris! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 03 May 2005 at 3:56pm
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Sorry to hear about your great Gran.
We took Alyssa to my dads and my grandmothers funeral and also robs grandfather inlaw (if you get my drift). At my dads she was only five months so rob just took her outside when she got ratty. At my nana's i brought her some new farmyard animals and some books she was more than happy to sit on the floor and read and play. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 04 May 2005 at 9:39am
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We took Micheal to Troys aunties funeral when he was 3 years old. We travelled from chch to Levin by car and ferry but were lucky enough to have a night before the funeral. Micky was reallt ratty and bored, we took some cars but in the end I had to take him outside. As the crying was upsetting him. I was the first time half of Troys family had met him and we were really worried about what they would think of his behaviour. However most thought he brought some relief to a very draining day, and actually enjoyed having a young child there to focus on. Hopefully it's the same for you. Good Luck ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 04 May 2005 at 2:17pm
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We just found out that it is tomorrow so have even less time to now prepare, but thanks for all your suggestions, I think i may take a rather large "bag of tricks" lol, to keep her amused. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 06 May 2005 at 10:57am
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Hi there . We had to fly down to Palmerston North in December for my dad's funeral when Alex was only 6 weeks old. Probably not as relevant for an older baby but I kept Alex quiet by stuffing him so full of milk that he slept through most of the actual ceremony before my dad was cremated.
It was weird it was like he kind of sensed that it was a sad occasion and was the quietest that he has ever been when he did wake up. It was really sad when my dad died because he was only 53 and my two brothers are only 9 & 12 and it was just before Xmas too  ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 06 May 2005 at 11:01am
| thats so sad toniellis.!! |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 06 May 2005 at 7:15pm
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That's terrible.
She stayed so quiet, sat on my knee didn't make a peep, and cuddled her bunny. went up and put a flower on the coffin at the end.. was so sad watching her do it. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 07 May 2005 at 10:16am
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All funerals are sad. I'm sure kids pick up on the mood 7 I'm glad you had nothing to worry about with Paris.
I only found out my dad was dying about a week before he died. He really kept it to himself and I hadn't seen him for nine years so it was a real shock. I think the worst thing was that it could have worked out all different because he was originally diagnosed with a stomach ulcer & by the time the doctors realised it was cancer it was too late. Sorry I don't mean to be all sad and gloomy but a lot of sad things have happened in the last couple of years. Thank god for my two rays of sunshine: My son Alex & my partner Spencer. Both can always put a smile on my face ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 07 May 2005 at 2:17pm
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kids have a way of doing that aye... i know if i am sad or anything, paris comes up to me and cuddles me and will give me a big grin.. you can't help but laugh at her. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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