3 y.o driving me crazy!
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7501
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Topic: 3 y.o driving me crazy!
Posted By: my4beauties
Subject: 3 y.o driving me crazy!
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 9:29am
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I'm sure every mum of a 3 y.o can relate!
Maybe it's because I'm pg & tired & don't have the patience with him at the moment but he seems to push EVERY button there is in me, everyday! He's getting ridiculously stubborn & he's a very big boy for his age & very heavy (sz of at least a 5 y.o) so trying to lift him is almost impossible esp too with having a big belly. He torments his little sister (typical older sibling thing to do I know!) & purposely runs into her bowling her over, taking her toys off her, etc etc. I know most of this is all for my attention but he gets plenty of attention. I was told once after talking to a friend who is a kindy teacher that the sky's the limit when it comes to how much attention they want from you. I'm just sooo tired of it!! I don't feel happy to be around him & can't wait for the days he goes to kindy in the afternoons (twice a week). He used to go through periods like this, but come good for a while & be all nice & loving & well behaved! But this stint seems to going on forever! I'm freaking as to what it'll be like when this baby is born & trying to deal with 3 kids under 4. I know its been done many times before but everyone's different & handle things differently. Unfortunately I find myself yelling at him far too often, I hate myself for it but get so wound up, esp after asking him nicely to do something & he just sits there & ignores me... so I'm asking & my voice is getting louder & louder till I'm yelling "RICO! GO & BRUSH YOUR TEETH! NOW!!" Even then he'll quite happily ignore me. If I go right up to him & look him in the eye & tell him what he needs to do, he'll scream at me & try hitting me or throwing something! I'm sooo over it! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 9:48am
| unfortunately 3 yr olds dont really like doing stuff on their own and arent really capable of it either. so you need to de stress and stop expecting too much from him and then you wont get as angry at him. i know sometimes it takes a bit more effort (or feels like it anyway) to take them by the hand and lead them to where you want them to be. |
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 9:53am
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I guess that why they say being a parent is the hardest job in the world! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 10:13am
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Hi Anouska,
I'm really struggling with this with my almost 3 year old, Ella, too. Except for the size thing, you've described her perfectly! Unfortunately I've got no advice, but my Mum suggested a similar thing to gandt. That I reassess my approach to her. So now I am experimenting with redirection and trying not to act like a policeman all the time. Another thing that has helped is adopting the mantra 'Is it worth it?'. Which helps me to stop jumping on her for every little thing. I'm still losing my patience with her at times, but its certainly helped a bit in the short time I've been experimenting! Good luck chick! I know how difficult it is for me, and I know how over everything I was when I was pregnant, so it really can't be easy for you at the moment! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 10:38am
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I realise I might expect too much from him & know they need to be given instructions one at a time, not "go & brush your teeth, then wash your face, then put your shoes on". It can only be "brush your teeth". Then when that's done, the next instruction.
Last week I was in the shopping mall, we had had lunch with my mum then I needed to get him some new shoes. I told him that we'd go & buy him some new shoes, but he did not want to go into the shop with me & was hitting me & doing his little tap dance (or more like stomp dance) & crying. I couldn't believe he was behaving like that, he has never done that before. I am pretty strict as I do not want a bratty kid & I know that my discipline does pay off & when he's older he'll hopefully  be well behaved. My husband isn't so strict & can let things slide, but I feel it needs to be knocked on the head sooner rather than later, when it's too late to break a habit.
So I probably am putting too much stress on myself at this time, & yeah... guess I need to approach it all in a different manner, but still he is very hard work!!! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 12:16pm
I am so with you on this one. Hannah's my 3yo, she's not big but she certainly knows how to be a nuisance at times. And I have two littler ones as you know, and I seem to always be getting sick (or broken) this year! I'm giving myself a little OB break right now cause I have caught the flu from our ACC home help 
What I find with Hannah is that she can self-direct for a small time, but I think she feels that being sent away to play by herself is a punishment or something.... so does Briona for that matter If I can spend a decent 1/2 hour space with Hannah in the morning she does soooooo much better for the rest of the day. I think it's the one-on-one time, plus I'm trying to teach her new things. She's bored out of her mind lately and I'm constantly racking my mind to think of what to teach her next!
The other day I made her up a box which is only for when Briona is sleeping - it has felts and scissors in it, and she loves to use those. When Briona's awake (she has a tendency to draw felt on the table), they can have crayons and pencils - only.  -------------  |
Posted By: bookwyrm
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 3:35pm
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My first is not born yet, but I remember how naughty my half sister was when she was 3. I was 11 and she was my nightmare. I think kids will always be kids and play up, and sometimes they can't understand what you mean when you explain to them why they can't do something. I guess you just gotta take it step by step and hope for the best. Get Hubby's more involved... and take some time out to read in the bath or something in the evenings.
Good luck! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 5:35pm
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I think that's why I've come to retreat to the internet a lot now! DH doesn't understand why I'm on here so much (its not really that much, but he tends to think it is!). Its my break away from things but I haven't had to leave the house.
------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 14 May 2007 at 8:45pm
| Italiah, I have a two year old but still know EXACTLY what you mean! deep breaths! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 18 May 2007 at 9:13am
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I wish I could say it gets better, but judging my my Miss Feral Four I'd have to say not. I totally hear you on the shouting thing - I start off asking nicely, then louder, then louder, then shouting. And then she says "don't shout at me Mama!" Why oh why can't they get that if they do it the first time (or even the second time) they're asked it makes life much more pleasant? ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 18 May 2007 at 4:33pm
Even the most simplest instruction becomes a chore! I just ask him to "come here" & he cant do that. Mister no ears I tell ya! My sister has a 5 y.o. & with that comes the smart mouth! I thought when he turned 3 he'd be out of the terrible two's but it just turns into the terrible three's. When in public if he was miss-behaving I'd give his arm a little pinch which used to work... now he calls out "Owww, don't pinch me! "
------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 18 May 2007 at 5:18pm
good on him i say... i've been making a real efort not to yell at my boys and it seems to be working. the calmer i am the calmer they are. i suppose its all about not sweating the small stuff. i must say too that since we have less yelling at home they have been very well behaved out in public. I'm sure tho that this will change again as they push new boundaries. |
Italiah wrote:Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 18 May 2007 at 6:12pm
OH i hear ya Anouska!!!! your first post sounds like me talking about Bay!!! he is driving me absolutely nutts!!! GGGRRR with the no ears and the back chatting and the yelling!!!! whether its right or wrong i find myself doing what you do giving his arm a little pinch in public if he will not listen what so ever!!!
my DH says that im begining to yell way to much!! but EVERYTHING else i try does not work!!! stubborn little toad!!!! and after DH has to spend a bit of time with him in one of his moods he begins to sound like me!!
DH says i wasnt like that when i wasnt pregnant so he puts it down to that
You can PM me any day for a big ol winge! cos il be right there with ya!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 18 May 2007 at 6:41pm
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if you bully your children then they will in turn bully you and others too.
a question then - what would you do if your child started pinching others or their siblings? |
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 9:43am
I wish it was that easy. If I do try this - taking his hand & leading him to where I need him to go, & he doesn't want to go he'll lie on the ground & won't get up & like I said earlier is VERY heavy to lift so that itself is a chore. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 9:54am
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I don't bully my son, I'm his parent & I want him to be a respectful & law-abiding person when he grows up. He learns a lot of his behaviour from his older cousins & kids at his kindy, I realise this when he comes home with "na nana na na!" We don't speak to him like this.
He has his "time-out" when misbehaving at home & made to sit for 3 mins on the "naughty spot". This works a treat, he HATES it! And I only need to remind him of the "naughty spot" when he plays up again. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 10:27am
we all want that for our kids. However i dont think pinching - which is a secretive and hurtful thing to do wether you are an adult or child - teaches respect. that though is just my opinion. i have just finished reading ian grants growing great boys book... if you can get hold of a copy there is an interesting chapter about boys and their mums you may find interesting and possibly helpful. |
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 11:02am
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My parents smacked me when i was growing up & this taught me boundaries and I fully respect them. Some may not agree with that, but that is how I feel towards them. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 12:42pm
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yeah but i think there is a difference between smacking and pinching.
were you pinched by your parents as a child? |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 1:25pm
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Anyway enough about the smacking and pinching subject and back to the main subject which was just a vent about 3 yr olds getting on our wicks.
Hows things with Rico today Anouska? Bay is behaving himself today which is nice  wev had no back chatting at all so far and iv only taken away a few cars of his for saying a word that drives me nutts!!! (Patero - i know its not that offensive but it drives me nutts! lol).
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 1:32pm
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Maya is behaving herself today too. Well I hope she is. She had a sleepover at her friends place as they hadn't seen each other for ages, and she was so excited. And I must confess getting 5 minutes peace to read the Weekend Herald was absolute bliss! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 1:37pm
hehe i had a sleep over with my son last night! lol DH went fishing for the night and me being the wuss!! put him on a matress on the floor of my bedroom! 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 19 May 2007 at 4:48pm
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My mum used to pinch me. It definitely made me stop in my tracks & do as I was told.
Rico has been good the past few days... haven't had too many barneys with him  . We had a kids party to go to today & he was looking forward to that so has been doing most things I ask of him.
I'm going out of town next week to stay with a friend who had baby a few weeks back & I'm leaving Rico with my Dh & my mum, so a break from each other will do us good. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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