New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - ’Letting go’
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login


Forum Locked’Letting go’

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Rachael21 View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 4700
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: ’Letting go’
    Posted: 03 January 2010 at 9:53pm
Ok so I have turned into one of those anxious parents now that Jack is older. I worry about everything he does when he is not in my eyesight and feel like I'm always telling him to not do that when we are out. I notice other kids that are out about the same age who are 'allowed' to do whatever they want. For example we just went camping and there is a gravel track thing for the cars to drive up and down I wouldn't let Jack anywhere near it even though the cars only go 8km/hr and there were hardly any cars. When we were leaving a family set up next to us and I noticed their kids were allowed to play on the gravel and were quite sensible.

Most of my fears are about him getting hurt, I imagine terrible things happening and get quite stressed about it. I really don't want to keep being like this but then I don't want him to run wild either.
I feel like I don't trust Jacks abilities and feel like I'm holding him back with my anxieties. So anyway how on earth do I pull back and let him do his own thing?

Thanks
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
peanut butter View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 20 February 2007
Points: 8044
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peanut butter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 January 2010 at 10:19pm
slowly and gently.

I personally would be pretty strict about roads/driveways etc.
Back to Top
james View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 7255
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 January 2010 at 7:38am
I,m so like this with james was huge thing to let james go to the park with his cuzzys in bluff .
I wouldnt let a child play by the road you just never know and they have very little road sence.
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
Back to Top
lizzle View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 8346
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 January 2010 at 8:33am
I'll think and let you know what we do. on holiday and using up hotel's broadband
Back to Top
mamanee View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Hamilton
Points: 2244
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mamanee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 January 2010 at 1:59pm
I am the same with Sam, although he is over a year younger, but I can see myself being the same in a years time.   I see other kids that are the same size as him, but I can tell by their mannerisms and speech that they are much older, and so people probably wonder why I don't let him go down huge slides or other things like that.

I sometimes feel bad but I just don't trust Sam in certain situations as he's just so sneaky and I know he will either break something or escape, which he proved by sneaking out the fire escape door at lollypops when I was 9 months pregnant!

I also have terrible fears and anxieties about him getting hurt and it's even worse when I have to let him go off with his father for a week as I feel like other people wouldn't watch him as carefully as I do.

So, sorry not much advice there, but I understand how you feel!
Back to Top
Jennz View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 1897
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jennz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 January 2010 at 5:59am
Hehe- you're worrying about worrying too much?

I'm the same really- I think I've eased up a little over time, but not really! I would never let either of mine play on a driveway or road, possibly if I was standing right there but even then I would be hovering beside them. My main worries are water safety, strange dogs and traffic- and I have been rather zealous when it comes to any of these. I used to worry that I was holding them back but now Charlotte is a little older I can see that she is pretty sensible compared to others her age, she's cautious but still has fun which I am pretty happy with

I let mine go in controlled environments- when they're at the playground, or we're going for a bush walk some of the stuff they do almost gives me a heart attack but I figure if they fall there, its a soft landing and probably a good lesson! Its just one of those things I think you need to ease yourself into. Plus I think it depends on the child, Charlotte has always been alot more sensible than Kate and so I think their boundaries will be different.

Sorry, not really much help, but you're not on your own!
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3

Back to Top
Rachael21 View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 4700
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2010 at 8:20pm
Thanks it doesn help knowing I'm not the only crazy one Water and traffic are my two big ones as well Jennz, Jack is quite a cautious kid and I wonder if I made him that way or he is just like that anyway. So it seems I'm not as bad as I think I am maybe I just need to ease up a wee bit.

Thanks
Back to Top
Nikki View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 02 October 2003
Location: West Auckland
Points: 2279
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nikki Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2010 at 9:16pm
Gosh I wouldn't let Jake near a road either! Or alone near water ... I don't even leave him alone in the bath for more than a few seconds now, at 2.5 years! I'm sure I won't be much better when he's 4 either. He can take all the risks he likes at daycare or in an environment that is controlled ... or when hes with daddy (who does more rough and tumble / physical stuff) .... but with me I like to know hes safe. And I don't mind if you call me anxious or paranoid or whatever - thats what my maternal instincts tell me to do!
DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
Back to Top
escadachic View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 15 May 2009
Location: Wainuiomata
Points: 3744
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote escadachic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 July 2010 at 10:46pm
Oh awesome! I know see I am not crazy and several other Mums are just like me.

I don't feel too bad about being so protective, as I figure nothing really bad can happen to her while she is with me. She is less cautious now and tries more things, despite me being the way I am, so I don't see it as a bad thing, as she still acts like most other child and isn't being held back from enjoying herself, despite me.

I say your fears are justified. There are so many accidents and such that could've been prevented if all parents were more like us. So just feel good for caring so much and looking out for your children.

Back to Top
Bizzy View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 10974
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 July 2010 at 9:25am
i think in the case of roads you have to be careful... and too many people are not careful enough.

Back to Top
Kimnthekids View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 25 February 2010
Location: Waitakere
Points: 893
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kimnthekids Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 August 2010 at 8:16pm
Is good to see this thread and know im not alone lol.

My Jacks turned 3 two months ago, and i tend to keep a close eye. Not always - like at lollipops or whatever i sit back and let him go for gold (of course i often dress him in a bright colour so i can watch from afar lol)
But we visited friends the other day and they had a daughter 3 months older than he is. The two children rgabbed toy pushchairs and went zooming around the house, then headed outside. I of course headed out too, and the girl started down the driveway. Jack of course went to follow but i stopped him, then we watched as she ran to the end, turned and ran back. Her mum was telling me i needed to loosen up, that it was the only place they could zoom up and down without crashing into anything (true) so i let him follow after mentioning he needed to stop and turn at the end. Anyways, wasnt long before i was YELLING at him to stop, i was sure he wasnt going to the pace he was headed.

Like when do they get road sense? Or some sense of the world around them when theyre busy at play at least. I find it so odd that some children just stop or can walk along a footpath without holding hands, whereas i just dont trust that he wouldnt get distracted and dart somewhere, or something...

Back to Top
TheKelly View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 30 March 2010
Points: 12728
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TheKelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 August 2010 at 10:23pm
Kids are all different, my daughter had road sense from 2, she wouldn't run onto the road , and if we were walking some where and she wanted to walk ahead, we would just do the "stop/go game "
(every few paces I would call to her to stop , then go again )
However her friend, only 6 months younger, still has really bad road sense , even at 7





Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.05
Copyright ©2001-2022 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.656 seconds.