3 years 8 Months and STILL not TT

So over it right now....

Toilet training has been a lengthy process and its getting to the point where we are getting very fustrated with him and embarrased to say it we have got angry with him about it.....

He HAS been TT'd until Elodie came along (7 months ago) so we put it off till a couple of months and started again - we got Wee's trained easy as but not poo's - heard Poo's take a while so just perserved... well now he's regrested with the wee's again and no where near getting poo's on the toilet (or potty)

hje knows when he is doing it.....

He's told me he doesn't like the toilet so we told him he can go on the potty ---- That doesn't happen either.

This morning I was making up a start chart just for toilet training (as he has regrest yet again with it) and talking about it to him - had my back turned for like a minute and he had poo'd in his pants!

I am so over it and feel like crying about it (but what good would that do huh!)

We know he knows when he has done both poo's and wee's but he doesn't care if he stays wet or poo'd.

When is it time to go to a child phsyco?

I have no advice but if you find a cure, can you let me know? Daniel knows when he needs to go wees or poos and doesn't care less if its going down his legs, he watches it and once hes done goes on his merry way.

Yay for some success! I'm gonna talk to his daycare and see if they can get some success and then bring whatever they have done home. I figure they TT so many kids they probably have more answers than I

i stress over james tt but he did him self at 4 and ahalf years old maybe try to back away from tt and give him some time then try again big hugs i know its so fustrsting

yes we have tried EVERYTHING - he's just stubborn - If i say he's not a big boy - he agree's if I say his little sister is going to be toilet trained before him (she's 7 months) he agrees - if I tell him any sort of reverse phycology (sp) he agrees - it just doesn't work...

I have tried the friends at kindy go to the toilet etc.. he doesnt care.

We have come to a cross roads and over it

The sticker chart = present after going to the toilet 5 times worked 3 times (as in he went 15 times) but now he doesn't care.

So he is back in pull ups and although I remind him about the toilet I don't make him go....

BUT Mr Stubborn himself if he does a poo in there he refuses to get it changed - so another battle begins!

I hope it works Stacey - Rhyley WAS in undies and was really good at first for wee's but now he doens't care if he wets/poo's his undies so hes in Pull Ups - which he is most happy and I have just took the preasure off him and us but still talk about the toilet etc....

It sounds like it is a control issue for him. What will happen if you just leave it? Dont ask if he would like to go to the toilet. Dont do sticker charts and dont ask him that you can change his bum and dont say anything negative about it at all for a while.

I know it must be really really hard but you know he can do it. He might surprise you and be totally confused that you all of a sudden is not trying to get him to do all of this. He might make a big mess. Dont offer to change him. If he ask for your help then change him but you can get him to perhaps change himself.

If he is in pull-ups then in the morning put a pull-up as well as underpants out and dont tell him he can chose just put it on his bed and see which ones he goes for.

if he goes for the underpants Praise him and say well done.

If you noticed him going to the toilet make a big hoo ha about it but dont say lets see if you can do it again. Let him figure that one out for himself.

At the moment we are going wellish with the wee department NOT with the poo's its come to the point he does little ones all the time in his undies (and doesn't tell us) I would rather him do just one huge poo if hes goign to do it in his undies rather than these little ones - its obvious he is holding onto it now!

the star chart works well when he has done something on the toilet.

We have also found that he likes going on the computer so if he wants to go on there he is happy to go to the toilet before hand BUT if on there too long he forgets to go and does it in his undies. (which means he gets taken off there)

Another tip (not that I can really give tips as we AREN't toilet trained just yet) is when I get him to go to the toilet I let him know he doesn't have to do soemthign just TRY which makes him less stressed about it.

I will be so glad when its all over with!

I have Elodie to go but I sure hope she isn't so stubborn!

smoody wrote: It sounds like it is a control issue for him. What will happen if you just leave it? Dont ask if he would like to go to the toilet. Dont do sticker charts and dont ask him that you can change his bum and dont say anything negative about it at all for a while. I know it must be really really hard but you know he can do it. He might surprise you and be totally confused that you all of a sudden is not trying to get him to do all of this. He might make a big mess. Dont offer to change him. If he ask for your help then change him but you can get him to perhaps change himself. If he is in pull-ups then in the morning put a pull-up as well as underpants out and dont tell him he can chose just put it on his bed and see which ones he goes for. if he goes for the underpants Praise him and say well done. If you noticed him going to the toilet make a big hoo ha about it but dont say lets see if you can do it again. Let him figure that one out for himself.

Great advise - we do give him the option of undies or pull ups - which he normally picks undies so explain what is expected.

I look like an idiot when he decides to go to the toilet on his own lol

I could try with the not saying anythign but the times I have just left him with pull ups he is happy to poo and wee them with out batting a eyelid!

Wouldn't surprise me if he's trying to be the one in control - hes so stubborn (gets that from me I am afraid!)

Hope some of you others are having more success!

Edited by Chickaboo

I put this in another thread but thought I would put it in here incase there are others at their wits end with Toilet training after trying EVERYTHING ELSE...

- I don't want to speak too soon - but Mr R IS toilet trained!! YAY - poo's as well..

What worked for us is NOT to do the soft approach - he's so stubborn (Determind if you want to use the positive word lol) and strong willed - we got kindy in on it to help us out as he started just poo'ing nad wee'ing his pants there and not caring....

So when he did it at kindy the teacher took him away from his game and kept saying it was really yucky and got him to wipe his own bum, his little friend was there so instead of telling them to leave when doing Rhyley's bottom she let him stay (they would normally give them a bit of privacy) and explained how his best friend poo's in the toilet or potty..

then when I brought him home I told him he had to clean his poo'd pants - he refused of cause - so I made him stand there and watch me while I had to do it...

Next time he had to go I made him sit on the potty till he did a BIG poo... took a bit of time and alot of taking things off him (playstation, Wii , computer worked well for us and we bagan taking big boy stuff off him...)

Another thing I did was I by accident brought GIRL pull ups - he would not wear it so I threatened to put them on him....

So after all that and me feeling really mean - he finallty did a big poo on the potty - big fuss made - once he did it a couple of times 'HE' decided to do poo's on the toilet and now he is quite happy to poo on the toilet....

And I tell ya - his trying behaviour has got alot better too since we all have the pressure of TT off us....

I reckon with the amount of info and research plus trial and error in the subject of Toilet training I am an expert - and should have a medal - its been one longggg and very trying road - but I think we have cracked it finally!

Cheekymonkeysmum - I hear ya and smpathise.... I do think the turning point was telling him to clean his poo'd undies and then making him watch me do it once he refused!

We too have tried EVERYTHING AND don't promote that it is the first thing to do what we did - it should be the LAST option.

Good luck