Birthdays

Oh Susanry, that is so sad for yu, I honestly don't know how you would get through it. I like the idea of the candle and the music.
I hope that you are coping, I don't think you can ever actually get over losing a child.

Take care

Hi Jo
I dont post very often at all but see you asked regarding subsequent pregnancies and coping.
My lil boy was stillborn Christmas eve 06 and I am currently 34wks pregnant, it has been hard and I personally immediately wanted to get pregnant after loosing him but found waiting a year till after "Deegans day" (I dont like the term bday or anniversary) helped alot for me to grieve and ensure I was prepared. This pregnancy has been made harder by babys dad ending things when I was 16wks but I have alot of support to get me through.
I do find the question coming up atm
"are u excited?" very hard to answer as although I am I am very guarded by the fact anything can happen but fingers crossed all will be ok...
Sorry to ramble but thought u asked so I would be honest.
I also am not ready to bury or scatter his ashes so keep them by his photo, candle etc
Toni xox

Jo & Toni,

My goodness what a year. I am so sorry for both of your losses.

I personally know just how hard it is.

Jo I gave birth to Anika on the 7th May, I was very much I want to get pregnant straight away. As Anika was my 3rd pregnancy I know only to well how fragile pregnancy is and how easy it is to have your heart broken.

I am currenly 10 weeks pregnant, feeling great.
Am I excited???? Sure, i am also scared, terrified I am going to give birth to a baby that has already fallen alseep. I am doing this pregnancy very different, I am just taking things day by day, what else can you do?

I think you know when you are ready to start trying again, you just know and I strongly believe that.

Take some comfort in knowing that we are all here and we have 1st hand experience, if you need to talk cry, type scream then just come online.

I wish you all the very best in the future. Toni good luck not long now, do you know what you are having? I will have everything crossed for you.

Hey GGs Mum, I know exactally how you feel, I was just the same when I was preg with Lachie. And now I do love being a mum but I was mum to my 2 oldest boys first and nothing will every take that away, I usually mention them in conversation. We have told a few people about this preg who did not know use earlier and they ask, is this your second and I always say, non actually this will b my 4th, I lost 2 at 20 weeks and then I had Lachie. It sometimes seems to make people uncomfortable but it is not about them it is about being true to my special boys.

I have just found out I am preg again and even after everything went well with Lachie I am still terrified. My midwives have alway been really understanding and have been great with organising eaarly scans etc to set my mind a little more at ease, but I will never be relaxed, I don't think that anyone is and it is even worse if you have experienced loss.

 

Take care fo yourself

Sarahlou,

I am so, so sorry to hear about your beautiful boy. We went through a similar situation almost a year ago and know how heartbroken you must be right now. Sending you lots of love and strength, and please feel free to PM me if you ever want to.

xxx

   

Maudie23

As a mum Im feeling completely and utterly lost... in the mornings when I get up I just dont know what to do with myself, Ryan was an IVF baby so I havent been working since christmas last year because of the stress of that...... this pregnancy has been my life up until last week it all I eveer thought about! and now I have nothing only the precious memories of our little man. I must sound really selfish but thats not enough for me, we wanted this little guy more than anything in the world and now he's gone. We defenitly want to have another baby as soon as Im ready, but it really scares me that this may happen again and when will I ever be ready?? My midwife took some photos of Ryan, Im yet to see them myself... that will be really hard for me, but I can't wait to see him again because Im already forgetting what he looks like......

I too lost a baby in Jan of this year. Due to massive amounts of blood clots in my placenta he stopped growing around 19 weeks and was eventually stillborn at 26 weeks. Sarahlou I know exactly how you feel, initially I wondered if life would ever return to "normal", if my friends would stop acting strangely around be becuase they didn't know what to say, and if I would ever be happy again. When my son died I was told that with time things would get better, I could not comprehend how this would possibly be the case. He's the first thing I think of when I wake up and I go to sleep missing him and wishing I'd chosen to hold him. But strangely they have gotten better, I can't say that I go more than a day or two without crying, I still can't bear looking at other people's babies (especially if they are asleep) but I've actually managed to have moments in the last few months where I've been happy.

I am now 35 weeks pregnant, yep 2 babies in one year! This baby (also a boy) is going well, he's healthy and everything is tracking for a "normal" birth. Yes I'm anxious, so much so that I was having scans every week to 10 days until I could feel him moving. I still worry and panic that somthing will happen to this baby but I am trying to stay positive. I won't believe everything is ok until this wee guy is in my arms!

I talk about my 1st son as much as I can, and if people ask if it's my 1st (not that they want to hear the answer) I honestly tell them it's not. Talking about your baby is so helpful in so many ways and I thinks it helps in making them live on in the memories of your friends and family.

xx

big hugs to you all ladies,
my BFF ,s 2nd baby girl was born sleeping and it was awfull the way some of our other friends reacted to it or ignored it and avoided her..
she would have been 7 last month

NIce to see you Moo Moo, losing a baby at any stage is one of the hardest things ever and I guess if you have not been through it it would be hard to relate but like you said it does not actually take much to acknowledge the baby and your loss and it means so much. What was your babies name?

Edited by Jessica

Hi everyone,

7 years ago today my little boy passed away in the NICU. I guess as you'll all know well, it's an understatement to say that it's a sad day eh? Selfishly I am grateful that it will always fall on a Public Holiday so I don't have to be at work!

I found out this week I'm pg so that's exciting and scary!




Edited by Saffy