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LJsmum 
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Joined: 13 June 2007
Location: Auckland
Points: 845
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 Posted: 09 April 2009 at 1:56pm |
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journal write everything you are feeling down all the feelings.... anger, e.t.c (well i suppose OB is like a journal accept other people add to it! but in an actual book u can look back on it or burn it or rip it up. But writing may help.
Take care
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kabe
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Joined: 11 February 2007
Location: Northshore
Points: 3069
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Posted: 09 April 2009 at 2:08pm |
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I can't imagine what you must be going through.
My friend gave birth to a stillborn daughter at 25 weeks. About 2-3 months later they had friends over for a remembrance afternoon tea, to acknowledge her life. They had a table set up with a photo album and some of her things. There was no speeches or anything like that . They found that it really helped them, especially having it several months after her loss.
You have to do what feels right for you and in your own time
Thinking of you all.
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BugTeeny
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Joined: 11 July 2008
Location: Sunny Tauranga
Points: 6676
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Posted: 09 April 2009 at 2:15pm |
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peanut butter
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Joined: 20 February 2007
Points: 8044
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Posted: 09 April 2009 at 2:40pm |
 Sorry Stacey, I dont have anything helpful to say. Just hope life deals you some good stuff for a while. you've done your share of crap. Deal with it how YOU want to... but try and remember to smile occassionally.
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errii
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Joined: 18 January 2009
Points: 349
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Posted: 09 April 2009 at 6:22pm |
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I totally understand the wanting to go some where far away where people dont no you and wont ask questions, I felt like that to but didnt have the motivation or money to be bothered.
the best advice I got was to do things only when I was ready to and not to feel like I had to do anything any sooner than that. Dont clean your house until you want to do it and do not feel bad about it.
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Baby Alistair 7/1/09
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Rachael21
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 4700
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Posted: 09 April 2009 at 10:54pm |
Awww Stacey, don't worry about the mess. Clean what you need day to day and deal with the rest when your up to it.
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Babe
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Joined: 21 May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2936
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Posted: 10 April 2009 at 7:06pm |
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Hugs Stace xox
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Bubbaloo
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
Points: 3041
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Posted: 10 April 2009 at 9:54pm |
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 Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08
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emz
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Joined: 25 November 2006
Location: Christchurch
Points: 5321
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Posted: 10 April 2009 at 10:20pm |
Stace, didn't want to read and run. I'm thinking of you. Firstly - don't beat yourself up about Daniel - he will sense something's not right and will be acting differently, and of course it's natural for you not to have all the patience for him at the moment.
You have just been through some traumatic experiences which means life isn't normal, so stuff the housework and the dishes! If you need to curl up, stick Daniel in front of the TV and just do what needs to be done to survive, noone will blame you.
I don't really know what else to say so will end it there. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family 
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Jessica
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Joined: 26 March 2007
Location: Oamaru
Points: 896
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Posted: 11 April 2009 at 11:12am |
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Give yourself time, and don't feel bad about it, what you have been though is so hard and you need plenty of time and space to deal with it, although I don't think you can ever completely 'deal' with it.
I can't believe people are already asking you about the next preg, I totally know the fear that surrounds that issue, people need to butt out.
We found that lots of people have opinions but until you are actually in the situation yourself you really don't know how you will get through it, I really appreciated when people were there to have a chat, and not always pussyfooting around. We now talk about the twins all the time but it took us a while to get to that point and especially past the point where we cared about what other people thought of our decision (I still cringe at some of the comments we got!)
Don't worry about the house until you want to, spend time with your family and I hope that Daniel is more settled for you now.
Hugs and thoughts
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Our con-joined boys 20 wk
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AN E
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: North Shore
Points: 519
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Posted: 11 April 2009 at 7:50pm |
Stacey, sending you lots of cyber hugs. . I can't imagine what you are going through. You are such a strong person. Thanks for sharing, and I wish you all the best for your future - whatever that may be.
If you ever did want to run away with family in tow (and come up to Auckland), you're more than welcome to a bed - and a house full of toys to share 
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Shezamumof3
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Joined: 14 April 2007
Points: 10096
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Posted: 11 April 2009 at 10:18pm |
Bigs hugs Stacey, I don't know what to say either, but I have been thinking of you lots.
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susieq
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Howick/Auckland
Points: 3771
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Posted: 12 April 2009 at 6:43pm |
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Big hugs from me too Stacey and I too think about you
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susie
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Natalie_G
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Joined: 09 June 2008
Location: North Shore
Points: 1638
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Posted: 13 April 2009 at 5:48pm |
Been thinking about you heaps (even though you dont know me), just remember to do things at your pace when you are ready.
Big for you and your family.
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Sarahlou
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Joined: 23 October 2008
Points: 49
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Posted: 16 April 2009 at 11:56am |
Let it all out whenever you need to... we are all here for you!
(((BIG HUGS))))
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AandCsmum
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Joined: 13 May 2008
Location: Palmerston North
Points: 8432
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Posted: 16 April 2009 at 10:44pm |
Stacey, have been thinking about you & how your family are getting on.
It has been an incredibly devastating thing that has happened to your family & my god dont they understand that you would be sh*t scared to try for another baby!
Loss is a very private thing & you will deal with it in your own way. Just remember there are shoulders around for you to cry on & vent to.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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EmDee
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Waikato
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Posted: 24 April 2009 at 3:52pm |
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DS 8
DD 6
DS 4
DD 2
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Niecey
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Joined: 24 April 2009
Location: Auckland, NZ
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Posted: 24 April 2009 at 7:37pm |
I wish someone would think...hey maybe I can just help with the housework..it doesn't have to be words to show you care.
Many hugs to you and your family.
Our hearts are with you.
Denise
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Denise
 
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misty
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Joined: 25 August 2007
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Posted: 27 April 2009 at 4:33pm |
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My best friend has only just put up a photo of her stillborn baby girl - and she died 2 and a half years ago. I know how much pressure she was under, not only to scatter the ashes (something they are still not able to do), but to GET BETTER. As my friend says, she will never be better. Her baby died for no reason - how do you recover from that? She asked me not to ask how she was doing... because the answer will always be the same. She's not good. So I don't. I ask WHAT she's been doing, I ask WHO she's seen, what she talked about at grief counselling today etc etc. Stacey, maybe you need to tell your family and friends not to ask how you are any more, I know I wasn't offended by this, I was just grateful to know that that was a question I shouldn't go near for a while.
x
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Sarahlou
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Joined: 23 October 2008
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Posted: 28 April 2009 at 11:22am |
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Been thinking about you Stacey....
I hope that time is starting to ease your pain a bit...
Sarahlou
xx
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*sigh*
