*sigh*

I know Stace I was thinking about that today when I was looking at the calendar for dates. I so hope the thing I have ordered for you and Rich arrives soon - Fingers crossed for Thursday.

Hi Stacey,

I don't really know much about you except what I've been reading here over the last month and really feeling for you. Boy has my heart churned for you - sometimes life sends the hardest things one's way and it makes no sense at all. Having lost my son, I get the whole can't be f'd, messy house, things not normal around you thing... and you know what? It really REALLY doesn't matter. Because nothing is normal. What happened wasn't fair, wasn't part of your grand plan and certainly alters your sense of reality. The only thing that matters is that you keep yourself safe and take one day at a time and keep talking. Survive on bananas if the thought of time in the kitchen is beyond you... I think I lived on toast for a long time!

Grief counselling helped me a bit. Of course I didn't think I needed to do that for ages until after the event. What I did do though was go to some SANDS meetings and they are brilliant. The reason they're so great is that you can talk about Jared to your heart's content and the people there will get it. They won't offer you trite comments or feel awkward, or ask you when you're trying again blah blah blah.... they'll just take you for you.

As for the medics asking you when you're going to try again - give them the swift f'off. Sometimes I think they think they're helping. I know that I found that extra painful because I didn't want to think about going thru that experience again and certainly resented them for prodding me on the subject. It felt incredibly invasive.

Seriously though, give a SANDS meeting a try. It really gives perspective that there is a community of people out there who 'get' your hurt and will give you an avenue to vent all your frustrations and hurt.

Take care.

Thanks for the advice but I really want nothing to do with counselling or sands. I have a friend who is a psychologist if I really need something but its really really really not me at all. DH has had contact with a social worker and that works for him but yeah totally not me or something I feel comfy with. I have a good mate who I talk to about crap when I need to who thinks the same way I do about alot of things in life so that is handy cause he seems to get where I'm coming from better than most.