Is this rude or am I just a cow?

I think it's pretty rude. I used to get that all the time and it was particularly hard when DH and I were TTC.

I think people mean well but if they actually thought about what they were asking.... It's none of their business.

I actually get a lot of this, a couple of memorable scenarios:
I was a a friends house and her whole family was there, her little boy was about 7 months old and I was playing with him She piped up and said (Much to my horror at the time) "When are you guys going to have a baby?". I was mortified, me and Hubby (he wasn't then though) at that stage had been together for 5 years and not used protection. "Uhh, When we get there?" was my answer before she blathered on about us needing to hurry up about it.
Next one was not so long ago (maybe 4 weeks) at Hubby's work and one of his work mates gave me a pointed stare at my tummy (I'm as far from thin as possible and was definitely wearing the wrong top!) and asked "When should be be expecting #2?". After recently suffering a miscarriage I was quite prepared for me to get bitchy and tell her "We just lost a baby, give me a goddam break!". But since Hubby's whole office was stock still and eagerly awaiting my answer, I resorted to my tried and true answer: "Uhh, When we get there?" before going on to moan about how I had put on weight.

I honestly think that people generally ask out of curiousity and since I am a better person, I will learn from their mistakes. I have a friend who is currently having fertility type (Endo, adhesions) problems and instead of asking out right "WHEN?" I asked her "Do you?" because it sounds a lot nicer and is a less on the spot question.
It is a little insulting and rude when people are like that but I guess it is part of the never ending cirle of questions: When are you getting engaged? When are you getting married? When are you having kids? When are you going to have another? When are you going to stop having kids? When are you going to kick them out of home and not let your kids sponge off you? When are you going to buy a house? When are you going to... eh!

I think that when you are pregnant and people ask "was it planned" is just as bad. Some people even dared to say "was it a mistake?"
Because we didn't plan our daughter, but we still love her as much as any other couple who did plan their child would.. but I mean, what do you answer to that?!

meow - how about 'no it was a surprise'. Why do they have to be referred to as mistakes?? I'm a surprise.

My mum puts my sister down to jet lag lol and always refers to her as her bonus, she is the youngest of 4 of us.

We use to get asked all the time and I just use to tell people I didn't want kids, everyone was pretty surprised when we told them we were expecting and asked if it was planned which quite frankly was non of their business and I also don't really see what difference it makes planned or not.

I don't know why people assume the minute you get married you are gonna start trying for a baby.

It's avery personal question and it bugs me how often people feel at liberty to ask! We get:
"Do you think you'll have any more?" "We're not sure yet"

"Was it planned" (I always say yes to this even if we weren't the ones who planned it haha - cause I'd hate for people to get the wrong impression and tell any of our kids they were unplanned or mistakes when they are older)

"Don't you have a tv?" "Haha but tv's just a big manual these days"

It is a little rude, but its also very normal.
People always want to know how your life is, first is

How's the Love life?
Then when you meet someone, its When are you getting married?
Then you get married its, When are you going to have a family? etc etc.

I always think these questions are up there with what's the weather like, as most people don't want the truth. ie we've been trying for over 2 years and can't get pregnant, or no we aren't having children.

They are some peoples way of having conversation, usually they are people who you aren't close too.

I don't think you are being a cow, but be aware that people are going to ask now that you're married and come up with a couple of good replies.

"Actually I prefer not to discuss the end result of my sex life"...

I am a midwife, so not only do l get asked frequently by colleagues but several times a day by women and their families! Occupational hazard l guess but still annoying.

I dont think its rude......I wouldnt mind if someone asked me. I mean people always want to know when new babies are gonna come along, babies are cute  But your definitly NOT being a cow! Everyone had different views on things

What I DO find rude is, people coming up and touching your tummy when you are pregnant! Grrr

Edited by Sheza