Now what?

Hoping you ladies can tell me what happens from here.

I was 7 weeks pregnant and on tuesday my scan showed I was bleeding internally, baby was far smaller than should be and the heartbeat was very slow.

My HCG levels have been dropping. Midwife thinks I "miscarried" sometime soon after the scan.

But I have no external bleeding. I saw a doctor who was pretty unhelpful and said that unless I was hamehorraging they wouldnt do anything.

I have another HCG on Monday and scan on tuesday... how does it work? Do they schedule a D&C? How long do you wait?

How does the D&C work? Do you need any time off?

I'm trying to pull myself together but all I can think is that I am carrying a dead baby

thanks rianna, I'm very relieved it would be done under GA. I dont want to be awake for that.

Oh I forgot to add you can ask for your baby to be returned to you after the procedure so perhaps you might want to plant it under a special tree.

Hi Hun

Sorry I can't help with the D & C part of things I had a natural miscarriage, I do agree with Rianna though you may not need the time off physically but a miscarriage does mess with you emotions quite a bit so be aware of that when planning whether or not to take time off work.

Anyways just wanted to offer my condolences and big hugs hun if you need an ear feel free to PM me.

You will need the day of the procedure and the following day off physically and like bex and rianna said you will likely need the time off to recover emotionally.

When I miscarried naturally I woke up in the middle of the night in a lot of pain and didn't know what was happening so went into the hospital. I had no warning as such that I was going to miscarry so when I went into the hospital I spent a lot of time just waiting with noone wanting to tell me that I was miscarrying (though I knew KWIM?) At about 9am after getting there at 3:30am they had to take me for a scan to make sure that I had had a "complete" miscarriage, When they took me in they showed the screen and there wasn't anything left, Unfortunately this got quite upsetting when I got home and 'passed" the fetus later on the next day and that scared the crap out of me and got me even more upset. Sorry don't mean to scare you but I guess be prepared that it may happen. I was about 10 weeks when I miscarried.

I actually took a week off work because I was a complete mess, It had been a rollercoaster pregnancy of thinking I was going to miscarry a couple of times before this with bleeding throughout my whole pregnancy, take whatever time you feel you need because there is nothing worse than going back before you are ready and having something trigger those emotions.

The best thing I can offer as advice for supporting DH is just to be there for each other, You need to also be looking after yourself so just be aware of that, Work out with your DH how you can help each other through this and what you could maybe do for the memory of this bub, We named our bub and still talk about "her" to this day try to keep her memory alive, I have to say I probably wasn't the biggest help to DP at the time because I was such a mess but we found a way through it and although it is hard you will too.

Good luck hun! I'm thinking of you and your family right now , sending much love and hugs!

Hiya,
So sorry you're having to go through this also.

I too started to miscarry naturally yesterday - had a couple of hours of intense cramps and bleeding then seemed to ease off. Has started again this morning although not as intense. My story is a bit different to yours, as I had 11 wk scan after slight spotting and showed bub had stopped growing at 7 weeks. I decided to wait as wasn't fussed on having d&c. I would have been 15 weeks yesterday so it took 4 weeks for my body to catch on (I also had acupuncture to induce this week). I initially took a week off work mostly because I was an emotional write off - I think it's so important to take that time to grieve. I am now imagining i'll have to take Mon off if cramps haven't subsided, but will see how it goes.
I have a scan booked on Mon to see if all has come away - not sure if I have passed preg sac or not as mostly feels like lots of large clots.

I would recommend lots of talking and acknowledging your DH also. My bub's father and I have had a frought relationship so he's not around but have had a good friend here - just letting her know that it's nice not to be alone and that yes I'm bloody sad and hurting but having them here is helping. There is also a great miscarriage support website based in Auck that has some great info and a specal sections for partners.

Hope you're doing as ok as you can be. Take time out to recover physically and emotionally.

thinking of you
MaryBeth

omg lemongirl that's awful of him:(

I had no pain and no clots... well a little tiny one at the end..so everyone different....my DandC was a far preferably experience to miscarrying naturally:(

Our DH's can get forgotten in this process. They feel that they have to be there for us and be strong.

Lots of cuddles and a big thank you for being the best DH in the world is what I did.

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

I'm bleeding a lot again and feeling a bit miserable today.

Does anyone know if you can use a mooncup when bleeding or do I have to keep using these uncomfortable pads?

I'm going for a last HCG test in the morning and then into work. I dont know how I feel about it - I would take a day off but if I need a D&C then I'll need a day then... it feels bad taking time off. Workaholic and all that.

DH's work sent us a big box of chocolates and a sympathy card signed by the whole team - so sweet of them! I dont think my colleagues even know whats happening.